Kirin vs. Copycat Ken

The Setting:

It was just a little after noon one day in the Nerima district. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping... in short, it was a very peaceful sort of day. That, of course, was bound to change.

A small entourage of sorts made its way down one of the sidewalks, attracting a lot of attention from the people passing by. It wasn't the fact that each of the eight members of this group all looked very strange and very different from one another that caught everyone's eye. It was the fact that they carried with them several very large pickling vats.

At the front of this odd group were two people, a man and a woman who were both dressed in Chinese clothing. The woman looked around for a moment at all the attention they were attracting, and then turned to the man, saying in Mandarin, <Darling, why didn't we take the ship? It would have been much easier to transport all of these pickles, you know.>

The man smiled a bit, and nodded his head in response. He said, <Yes, I know, but finding a parking place for that thing is always impossible in cities like this. Besides, my dear, you know as well as I do that those two...> He jerked a thumb over his shoulder to indicate two other members of the group, who seemed to be the only ones actually carrying anything, <... can carry all the pickles we'll ever need.>

The woman laughed, <You're right... I'm sure this will be more than enough, even though we'll be sharing them with Ranma and Akane. I wonder if those two ever got married.>

The man shrugged, <I'm not sure. They never sent us a postcard about it, that's for sure. We'll find out soon enough, though.>

From one of the pickle carriers came  a loud, yet exhausted, "Muuuuuuuuu...." The largest member slowly set down the two vats he had been carrying, and sat down on the ground, looking all tired out.

A short little guy carrying a fishing pole looked up to the man who seemed to be in charge, and said, <Master Kirin, I think Muu needs to take a little bit of a break. We've been walking for a long time, after all.>

Kirin nodded to the short guy, and said, <Very well, Ebiten. You may all rest for now. Lychee and I will take a little stroll through this park...> He looked at Nerima's central park, which they had just stopped in front of. The Seven Lucky Gods Martial Artists looked very greatful for the rest (Especially Muu and Bishamonten, who had been the ones doing all the work) and sat down next to the pickle vats as their leader walked off with his wife.

At the same moment, a young man strolled through the park, dressed in a pair of grey pants that were held in place by suspenders, a red shirt, and a orange bandanna, which he wore on top of his head. In one hand, he held a camera, and in the other, an ice cream cone. Something at the park's entrance caught his eyes, and he started to stare with slack jaw. In this moment of inattention, his ice cream slipped off of it's cone, and fell onto the ground. He didn't seem to care at all, however, and said, "How sweeeeeet it is....." He held his camera at the ready, and jogged off into the bushes to take a couple of pictures.

Kirin said to his wife in Japanese, "Kirin thinks it's best if we get used to speaking in this language... After all, we will soon be visiting with Ranma and Akane."

Lychee nodded, "Yes. Lychee think... thinks that is good idea. Lychee has not spoken much since last meet Ranma and his friends." She nodded to herself, confident that her Japanese was at least coherent.

Kirin smiled, and said, "Very good. Kirin is sure we will have no problems speaking with them." Suddenly, he heard a noise off to his side. He looked over toward where he thought it came from, but saw nothing but underbrush. He started to turn back when he heard it again... a distinctive 'click'. Kirin said, "Show yourself! Who dares to menace Kirin of the Seven Lucky Gods School of Martial Arts and his wife?"

The young man emerged from the bushes, a rather mischevious grin on his face. He said, "Seven Lucky Gods Martial Arts? Sounds very interesting. However, I'm afraid it won't be any match for my style." He turned to Lychee, and gave her a wink, "Don't worry, baby, I'll get rid of this jerk real quick for you." Lychee shuddered, not at all liking the way he was looking at her.

Kirin regarded his opponent for a moment, and then started to laugh. He said, "You.... You dare presume that you can challenge Kirin? Unless this style of yours relies on your stupidity, you won't stand a chance." He looked as arrogant as ever. Lychee had told him not to be so overconfident, since that was one of the factors that allowed Ranma to defeat him so long ago. Kirin took these words to heart, and decided to at least take this kid seriously for the moment. He readied his chopsticks and his bowl of rice, and took a defensive stance as he waited for the young man's move.

The young man in question didn't look intimmidated at all. In fact, Kirin's words served only to make him grin even more widely. He said, "Get ready, Mr. Kirin. You'll dread the day you ever heard of Copycat Ken!" Ken got his copycat kerchief ready, and started to chuckle as Lychee just shook her head and stepped back a bit, mumbling, <Why does this always happen to us?>

[Note: For this fight we'll assume that Ken hasn't copied anyone significantly more powerful than those he did in his anime episode, and we'll also assume that he didn't come back and copy the moves that Ranma, Ryouga, etc. have learned since that point.]

Commentary:

Starphoenix

Well, let's see. I haven't seen much of Copycat Ken's abilities (Or rather none of them yet), so I can't make a good evaluation on him. I hae seen Kirin though, and he was able to take out about seven martial artists at once. Ken also seems like a pervert who'd rather glomp onto Lychee than fight Kirin. Lychee will be a distraction to Ken while an inspiration to Kirin. Unless Ken can confuse the crap out of Kirin with his copycat abilities, turn into someone Kirin can't imagine hurting (I possibly think), or complete this ultimate copycat technique that I've read about, Kirin will probably win. Besides, Kirin has probably more "soul" than Ken would possess.

Jazzie

This battle has the oppotunity to be very unpredictable because Ken has the opportunity to be smart and win, or be overconfident and lose.  If Ken did things correctly and fought with Ranma's form, he could probably win.  But, I think it's probably most likely that he would try first to copy Kirin and then change into Happosai as that is the form he likes best.  However, since he'd have to learn as he went since he didnt' know Kirin's moves yet, he'd lose in the Kirin form.  Then as Happosai, he'd lose because he would try and glomp something (probably Lychee) and would get beaten then.  Thus, I choose Kirin as the victor here.

Ukyou

It's true that Copycat Ken can copy any of Kirin's moves, but that doesn't make him unstoppable.  Like Ranma said, Ken can't use the attacks at their full potential.  If Kirin realizes this, and once he gets over the surprise of facing himself, I think he could take Ken.  Plus there's the fact that Lychee is there, Kirin will want to protect here from Ken's lecherous ways.  That, plus Kirin's sureness about his own abilities would be enough to defeat Ken.

Pidge (pronounced Pij)

The reason I think Copycat Ken would win is because his style is so versatile. Even though Kirin has that super-speed chopsticks thing, Copycat Ken can turn himself into any of the cast. He could turn himself into Ryoga and use the 'Breaking Point' technique on Kirin. Since Kirin has never fought against Ryoga, it would safe to assume that he wouldn't be able to defend against it. Or Copycat Ken could turn himself into Mousse and just completely overwhelm Kirin by the sheer number of weapons he could use at once. Also, he might turn himself into Lychee to distract Kirin and get in a 'cheap-shot' that way. He could turn himself into Happosai and throw Happo-Fire-Bursts at both Kirin and Lychee. Kirin would most likly be distracted by Lychee being in danger, then Copycat Ken could change himself again and attack.

This is, of course, assuming that Kirin wasn't been practicing since his fight with Ranma and can only do the techniques shown in the movie. However, if he has made some new techniques, depending on what they are of course, the fight could actually go either way.

Justicar

Hmmm... neither are manga characters so they lose that "original" Takahashi benefit. I wasn't too impressed with Ken. Well actually I was expecting him to suddenly change into Tuxedo Mask, so I was a bit distracted. Anyway, I digress, In this contest I voted for Kirin because he is far cooler than Ken. Anybody who refers to himself in the third person automatically has the coolness benefit.

More importantly however will the mental will to win this contest. Kirin is a much more mature and skilled fighter. Ken's copycat ability won't be enough. Ken isn't smart enough as a fighter.

That factor lost him his battle against Ranma. The only advantage that his ability gives him is initially knocking his opponent off balance. That won't be enough.

Another factor I just thought about. Kirin will not be very happy seeing a copy of himself. Kirin is going to take major offense. He will be determined to utterly destroy the interloper Kirin.

HexxJo

Wow! Two overconfidant twits! When in doubt, go with the twit with more style. Since that doesn't work in this case, seeing how both of these twits lack style, go with the one who's theme has something to do with food. Thus, Kirin gets the vote. He does use chopsticks. When in doubt, go where the stomach leads.

Spanner

Ah, if only Ken had restrained his Happosai training long enough to study the fighting techniques of Kirin and his minions, the resolution to this fight would have been easy to predict. By the time Ranma faced Kirin, he was much stronger than when he faced Copycat Ken. By that token, were Ken to fight Kirin using Ranma's techniques, Ken would probably lose. Ken's best chance is to fall back on the strongest fighter we know he can copy: Happosai. And that, as it turns out, gives him a really good advantage. Happosai's greatest weakness (the way he's easily distracted by pretty girls and underwear), a weakness shared by Ken when he assumes his form, is a weakness Kirin would very likely be unaware of. Kirin's tough, but almost no one is a match for Happosai. Of course, the quickest way for Ken to win would be for him to leap into the air above Kirin, and then transform into Muu, but he probably won't think of that one. :)

The Fight:

Kirin spaced his feet about shoulder length apart and took his regular defensive stance, chopsticks and rice bowl at the ready. His iron defenses were good enough to deal with just about anything that could be thrown at him, and he didn't know anything about his enemy's fighting style, so being patient would have to do.

Ken frowned a bit. How was he supposed to copy this jerk's moves if he just stood there. He shrugged to himself. Maybe this guy was all talk, and didn't have anything worth copying. If that was the case, he'd just use what he already had learned. He said, "Get ready, man, cause here I come!"

Kirin watched the strange young man wave the kerchief in front of himself... only to be replaced by another young man wearing a white robe and coke-bottle glassses. He said, "Kirin has seen you before... In the palace. Kirin has no idea why you were wearing that stupid looking costume, but he knows that you have no chance, and should go away!"

Ken-Mousse thought this over... This guy had seen Mousse before? Strange, but it didn't really matter. Ken said, "Stupid looking, huh? I'll show you who's stupid you... you... dumb guy!" He jumped up high into the air and unleashed a barrage of chains and weapons and stuff from his sleeves, trying to see just what skills this guy had.

Kirin hmphed confidently, and using his chopsticks and lightning reflexes, caught every one of the projectile weapons. From Ken's point of view, it looked like they'd all run into a stone wall and fallen to the ground. Ken-Mousse thought to himself, "He's fast.... very fast. I've got just the answer for that!" He jumped into the air and launched another round of chains.

Kirin smiled, "The same attack? Kirin thinks this match is already his. You'll never break his defenses." He started catching the projectiles again, and failed to notice Ken-Mousse waving the kerchief around again. As he tossed the last of the bladed things aside, he saw Ranma charging at him.

Ken-Ranma yelled, "Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken!" Ken smirked confidently, thinking that this speedy attack would get through this other guy's blocks. However, this was not the case. For some reason, his punches never quite made it through. After a few seconds of this, realizing that he would tire himself if he kept going, Ken leapt back to reconsider his plan of attack.

As Ken-Ranma examined his arms, taking note of all the chopstick shaped marks, Kirin said, "Ranma Saotome? How many disguises are you wearing?"

Ken smiled, "More than you could ever imagine, you freak."

Kirin frowned, "Kirin doesn't know why you're attacking him, but if you don't stop he'll be forced to hurt you." He set himself back into defensive position, waiting for the next attack and at the same time trying to figure out what in the world was going on.

Ken-Ranma waved the kerchief yet another time, and took the form of Ryouga Hibiki. He said, "Okay, jerk, there's no way you can block this!"

Kirin said, "What are you.. some sort of copycat?"

Ken-Ryouga said, "Bingo!" and with that he charged his opponent, letting loose a fang-toothed battle cry. He extended one finger, and struck the ground close to Kirin, while saying, "Eat this! Bakusai Tenketsu!" The cement ground where the finger had penetrated started to crack. The crack spread out quickly, and suddenly the ground exploded.

Kirin shouted in panic as the wave of rocks approached. He caught as many of them as he could, but the move had just caught him completely by surprise. He was cut several times by the jagged rocks, but after the blast subsided he was still ready to fight, and refocused on his opponent again.

Ken-Ryouga was simply standing there, his arms outstretched on both sides, and a rather unpleasant grin on his face. He said, "You're finished." Kirin wondered what the heck he was talking about, when suddenly his senses alerted him to danger, and it was approaching him from both sides. He brought up his chopsticks, and barely blocked the bandanna shuriken that could have cut his head clean off if they had connected, although one of them slipped through his guard and gave him a nasty cut on his rice bowl arm.

Ken-Ryouga now started charging again, and said, "With my strength, and your injuries, you'll never block this!" He cocked his arm back and threw a strong Ryouga punch... The kind that could knock most opponents out with a single hit.

Kirin knew he couldn't block, but he had another option. Since his opponent was still closing, he brought up his eating utensils/weapons, and said, "Fell Kirin's ultimate attack! Kyakusho Yogekikyo!" Ken-Ryouga's eyes went wide as his charge was intercepted by a thousand pinching ki chopsticks.

The ki blasts pushed him back, almost throwing him to the ground. He growled as he now felt the burning sensation that all of his newly acquired wounds were giving him, and said, "You're dead, punk!"

Kirin didn't waste any time. He charged forward, and struck at Ken with his chopsticks, using his speed for the offensive now. Ken tried to block as best as he could, but Ryouga's form didn't quite give him the speed he needed to block the attacks, and since he was only a copy, he didn't quite have the endurance of the real Hibiki.

Kirin essentially had Ken on the ropes, striking time after time with his ki charged weapons. He struck and struck until his enemy dropped to one knee. Kirin shouted, "The final blow, and launched one powerful strike at Ken-Ryouga's throat.

Suddenly, the kerchief was waved again, and Kirin heard his wife scream. He stopped his attack immediately, the chopsticks only scant inches away from his lovely Lychee's throat. He cursed himself for being so careless! How, in the middle of battle, could he have almost attacked his wife! It was inexcusable...

Suddenly, he heard a voice from behind him, sounding rather annoyed, say, <That's not me, it's him! Don't get distracted!> Kirin recognized the other voice as Lychee's as well... he looked over his shoulder to see what was going on, and saw his wife standing quite a distance away. He quickly turned back, but it was too late. The uppercut hit him in his chin hard, sending him into the air, and causing him to land painfully on his back. The pickle slid from the top of his rice bowl and hit the cement ground.

Ken-Lychee chuckled. He(she) said, "Is good impersonation, yes? Now Lychee finish you off!" Again the kerchief was waved, and as Kirin watched, it seemed as though his opponent completely vanished... He head another voice say, "Now, you face the wrath of the Master!!!"

Kirin stood to his feet again, and looked down at the squat old man.. Happousai. Both he and his wife glared at the diminutive figure, knowing full well the suffering he had caused them in the past. Kirin said, "Happousai, you evil old man! Kirin now realizes that you were using your dark magic to change shapes. You will be punished!"

Ken-Happousai chuckled, and said, "You still haven't figured it out, have you? You deserve to be beaten, you idiot. Take this, Happou Daikarin!" Ken threw a fist full of bombs at Kirin, which the master of the Seven Lucky Gods school caught in his chopsticks and dropped on the ground as he had with the thrown weapons earlier. Too late, he realized his mistake as the fuses winded down, and exploded.

He fell down again, covered in bomb soot and otherwise looking crispy and pissed off. He struggled to get back to his feet, knowing that if his enemy pressed the attack, and surely he would, that the fight would be over. He made it all the way to his feet, and set himself to take a blow.. that never came. He looked all around for his opponent, and heard another scream from his wife. Ken-Happousai was firmly attached to her chest, saying, "How sweeeeeeeeeet it is!"

Kirin calmly walked over to the others, his right eyebrow twitching every now and then, and plucked the little pervert off of his wife with his chopsticks. He said, "What exactly were you doing?"

Ken-Happousai had the good grace to look embarassed, and said, "I'm sorry.. I just couldn't control myself." Lychee had heard enough, and powerfully punched him into the ground, and then started stomping on him. Kirin shrugged his shoulders, and joined in. After about five minutes of this, the two were tired out, and looked down to the ground.

They saw the young man they had first seen before all this had begun laying in a crater with both of his hands in the traditional position of surprise and warding, and his eyes rolled back into his head.

Kirin said, "You mean, it wasn't Happousai? Just this delinquent kid?"

Lychee just shrugged, and switched over to Chinese, <I guess so. What a rotten pervert... He's probably Happousai's grandson or something!> She shuddered just a bit at the thought of the old lecher having offspring, and said, <Well, that's enough of that. Let's get out of here before he wakes up.>

Kirin nodded, and the two left the park to rejoin the rest of the Seven Lucky Gods Martial Artists.

The Results:

Kirin: 33

Copycat Ken: 5

Sorry it took me so long to get this battle out! Working on the Original Character Tournament has sapped a lot of my time, not to mention my utter lack of ideas when it comes to the fights I should be posting =( If you guys wanna send in your own battles, you're more than welcome!