Bishamonten, Moron, and Ebiten vs. Torristan, Sarutaro, and Wonton

The Setting:

Toma's highest ranking palace guards, Sarutaro, Torristan, and Wonton, walked down a trail deep within the mountains of China. "You know..." Torristan, the bird-man, said, "I think we're lost."

Sarutaro grumbled, and said, "No, you idiot, we're not lost. From what I've been told, this road leads directly to the palace of that scum who beat our boss... Don't you realize? At long last, we'll be able to avenge his humiliating defeat!"

Wonton made a few 'arf' noises and other miscellaneous dog sounds, but neither of the others payed any attention to him. Torristan shouted back to Sarutaro, "Who are you calling an idiot, monkey-boy?! We've already been down a thousand of these trails which you were SURE of, and now you're still trying to feed me that line?"

Sarutaro frowned, and grumbled back, "What did you call me, bird-brain? If you keep talking, I'm going to have to shut that rude beak of yours for good!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

They were interrupted by Wonton, who was barking and growling very loudly at something. The others turned to see what it was. Somehow, they had walked almost all the way up to a gate in the road, where three strange looking martial artists stood.

The two groups sized each other up for a moment. The first to speak was Ebiten, the shortest and least intimmidating looking of the martial artists at the gate. He said, "Who goes there? Do you dare challenge the might of the Seven Lucky Gods Martial Artists?" He hefted his fishing pole, as if to threaten them.

"Who?" Sarutaro asked of them.

Monron answered, "The Seven Lucky Gods Martial Artists. We serve the one known as Kirin."

Torristan raised an eyebrow, which was strange, considering that he was wearing a mask. He said, "Kirin...? Is that so..."

The Palace guards looked at each other for a moment, before getting into a huddle. Sarutaro said, "See? I KNEW it! This has to be the right place. Let's beat these guys up, and then go on to get our vengeance."

Torristan nodded his head, "For once, you are right. I suppose since we've walked on nearly every mountain in China so far, we'd have to reach this place eventually." He chuckled, while the monkey man glared at him. He went on, "Anyways, you're right. Let's get these guys."

They broke their huddle, and moved forward to take intimmidating poses.

Monron looked at Bishamonten and Ebiten, and said, "It looks like they intend to challenge us..."

Bishamonten nodded his head, and readied his polearm. He said, "On our honor as Seven Lucky Gods Martial Artists, we will stop them here."

The six warriors took their stances, and readied their weapons. Kirin's guards were prepared to risk everything to protect their master from these interlopers, and Toma's servants were determined to have their vengeance. The wind suddenly came to a stop, and they all prepared to do battle.

Commentary:

MasterManG

Whereas Toma has apparently been stuck with the role of 'jobber', his minions have yet to lose an actual fight on the site.  The only one's who on dangerous on Team Kirin are Monron and Ebiten.  Bishamonton doesn't really have any special attacks, whereas every member of Team Toma has seemingly magical powers.  They can all become shadows, they can apparently levitate, and each has their own specialties. Wonton is fast as hell despite his size but he's the weak link on Team Toma because of his low intelligence. But Sarutaro and Torristan's powers(*cough*cheap tricks*cough*) more than make up for it.  Finally Toma will have a victory, at least in spirit if not on the stats board.

Dave Campbell

Pure and simple. Kirin's fighters have actual skill and brains. Toma's troops are stupid cursed animals. Monlon and Ebiten have both almost killed Ranma and would have had Shampoo and Ryoga (respectively) not shown up.

Spanner

Though much depends on which character engages which character, I think that Team Toma has a better strength-to-weakness ratio than Team Kirin. Ebitan, in particular, seems as though he'd fall easily to Sarutoro's Shadow Fall technique (Ebitan seems pretty insecure about himself, with his constant need to prove himself to and please Kirin). Torristan and Monron are a pretty well-matched when it comes to cruelty and ruthlessness. It's almost a pity that Muu wasn't in this fight - a match between him and Wonton would have been pretty funny (Muu and Wonton stare at one another. Muu: "Muuuuuuu?" Wonton: "Awrooo?" They continue to stare.) As it is, though, I doubt any of the three of Kirin's men could take on Wonton, who is practically indestructable and devastatingly fast when fighting defensively. So, with Wonton able to defeat any of Team Kirin individually, Sarutaro with a special edge against Ebitan, and Torristan and Monron an even match, it seems obvious that Team Toma will carry the day!

St Fan

This one is pretty hard to forecast, as it a multi-characters brawl. There's many unknown elements... for example WHO will fight against WHO... how the Shichifukudojin will react to the special attacks of Torristan and Sarutaro... and how the laters will react to Monron's presence. ^_- The Shichifukudojin, though, have the advantage of the terrain and (maybe) of a better teamwork. Also, Toma's servant are ninja  they are better at stealthy ambushes, but here they fight in the open. So I'll give the fight to the Shichifukudojin  after all, Bishamonten, Monron and Ebiten are the best martial artists of their group after Kirin. This will be a close match, nonetheless.

Thrythlind

Tough call....Wonton, Torristan, Morlon and Ebiten are the four that you actually see fighting somewhat  *incidentally, Ranma would not have been beaten by that thread thing of Morlon's, he had seen something like it earlier in the Fast or Free epi, and by then he would have come up with a counter.* Sarutaro's Shadow Fog should prove quite capable of bringing somebody low...but I have no clue as to how well he fights without it... Bishamonton is wild card...I know nothing about his skills except he handled the fathers after a minute or two. Morlon CAN'T use her String attack too well...not unless Toma's people are stupid enough to crowd...that leaves her in close in fighting... I'd say Torristan and Ebiten, being both the most skilled on either side and both distance fighters would probably pair off, Ebiten would have the advantage here...Bishamonton would probably try for Wonton, and see his aggressive style fail the same way as Kuno's...leaving Morlon and Sarutaro, the results of which depend on whether Morlon manages to pull out of her defensive mindset before Sarutaro Shadow Fogs her...at any rate Bishamonton will be down early, leaving Wonton to help one of the other two, though by then Sarutaro will have either won or lost... basically the entire match depends on how long Torristan can hold against Ebiten....

Starphoenix

Feh... back again and the main battle is rotated. Okay, you have Toma's flunkies and Kirin's People duking it out. Monlon and Ebitan are probably two of the best of Kirin's fellow martial artists, and Bishamonten can perhaps be up there. And then you have their competition: Ummmm, Torristan may be a challenge, but Won Ton and Saru Taru could be dust. Here's how it might go: Bishamonten and Torristan face off in a duel of weapons. Monlon and Won Ton face off but Won Ton is dazed by the pretty lady and most likely won't hurt her. 1 for Kirin's team. Sarutaru goes for the Shadow Fall probably and depending on how fast Ebiten is, the chances of success vary. Bishamonten and Torristan still duel but Torristan's weapons seem to break faster than Bishomonten's. So 2 for Kirin's Team. Then that leaves Sarutaro, who[ may or may not have succeeded in beating Ebiten with his technique. I say that Kirin's people win even if Sarutaro was successful in beating Ebiten. Thre other two could gang up on him in the end. But it depends on who's fighting who...

Mako

I'll have to go with the Lucky Gods here. Why? Simple: sheer lethality.

Kirin's boyzz were out for BLOOD in that movie, while Toma's 'Hood were just horny. Bish' and co. are ready and willing to use DEADLY FORCE against their enemies, not illusions and tricks. To be blunt- the Kirin Crowd were able actually FIGHT, and draw BLOOD from Ranma and co.

...Wonton beat up Kuno.

And, while that is an admirable and time honored task in the Ranmaverse, it isn't going to compare to Kirin's bad boys. I see the animals-turned-human walking away with their tails between their legs, beaten like the neglected pets they are!

"Heel!!"

*Wappow!*

The Fight:

There was a pause as the fighters all looked one another over. In a one on one fight, one could go after their opponent immediately, but in a group battle, one had to be aware of the threat that each and every one of their enemies posed. Toma's guards spread out a bit, showing their intention to break the fight into three smaller battles. The Seven Lucky Gods martial artists obliged, and they put a little distance between themselves to make more room for the fight. A second later, all of them were charging into battle.

Torristan faced off against Monron, and as he ran toward her, he thought, "Wow! She would make an excellent bridal candidate for Prince Toma! And if he doesn't want her, I could always... heh heh heh..." Thinking such things wasn't the most helpful during battle, and as a result, Monron was able to smack him solidly upside the head with her lute. Fortunately for him, his mask stayed on, and he was able to recover quickly, jumping back and thinking, "She's powerful, too. I guess I have no choice." He pulled out several feather projectiles and threw them at her, but she swatted them away in time with her instrument.

Monron looked at her opponent, and thought, "This guy isn't too impressive. I'll finish him off and then help the others." She ran at the bird-man, and swung downward at the bird-man with the large blunt end of her lute. He sidestepped, but the strength of the impact caused a small hole in the ground to form where he had been standing. Monron continued swinging, but he was fast enough to dodge every time. He pulled his sword out of his feathered cape, and they started battling in earnest.

The smallest of the Seven Lucky Gods Martial Artists, Ebiten, ran at his opponent, the monkey man Sarutaro. He said, "I might be small, but I'm more than a match for you!" With a flick of his wrist, he whipped out at Sarutaro with his fishing pole's line, but the monkey man was able to dodge with animal like agility. The very short martial artist's eyes went wide as his opponent leapt in close and got a good punch in on his face, sending him sprawling back.

With a laugh, Sarutaro said, "Looks like you're the one who underestimated me! Now, you're going down!" He rushed in and started throwing punches, but now Ebiten was taking the fight a lot more seriously, and was able to keep his opponent at bay by lashing out with his fishing pole weapon. For now, their fight was a stalemate.

The two powerhouses of both sides, Bishamonten and Wonton, ran at one another. Bishamonten, for his part, had no clever lines to say. He was a serious warrior, and he always prefered to let his polearm do the talking. Wonton, however, couldn't say anything other than "Awoo!" His face held a blank expression as he charged, hands ready to strike once in range.

Bishamonten, with his spear's superior reach, was the first to attack. He stabbed out at the dog man, but Wonton dodged with super-human speed. Bishamonten was very surprised... his opponent was faster than any of the Seven Lucky Gods Martial Artists, except for Kirin. However, being a trained warriror, Bishamonten pressed his attack, stabbing again and again, but each time Wonton moved out of the way without any trouble, his speed so great that he appeared to be in several places at once. Once he closed in, the dog man delivered a quick, yet very strong palm strike to Bishamonten's chest, sending him to the ground on his back.

With a grunt, the polearm wielding martial artist stood to his feet. He already knew that he wouldn't be able to beat this opponent on his own, and that his best strategy would be to delay the dog man until one of his comrades had finished their battle. He stood back in a defensive stance, looking ready to simply delay his enemy, but Wonton didn't hesitate in the slightest to charge again.

Wonton shouted, "Awoo!" several times as he closed in and threw several more palm strikes. As usual, the dog man didn't really have an in depth strategy for battle, he just did whatever seemed best at the time, which usually worked very well for him in a fight. All of his hits connected, despite Bishamonten's attempts to block, and with one final stong blow, he sent the unlucky Seven Lucky Gods Martial Artist off of his feet and into the rock wall that rose above the mountain path they were all fighting on. Bishamonten slumped to the ground, unconscious.

Sarutaro looked over and saw the rather quick defeat of the first of his opponents. He grinned at Ebiten, and said, "Look at that... you're in a world of trouble now, shrimp!"

The short fellow looked a bit nervous for a second, wondering for a moment just how powerful these enemies were. However, he turned and said to Sarutaro in a squeeky, non-intimmidating voice, "It looks like we'll have to get serious now!" He started whipping at Sarutaro over and over with his fishing rod, advancing quick and forcing the monkey man to fall back, barely avoiding the razor sharp edge of the fishing wire as it slashed past. Wonton, however, after a short break to scratch behind his ear, charged in toward Ebiten. Now the shortest of the Seven Lucky Gods was on the defensive, barely keeping his enemies at bay with the range of his weapon.

Torristan chuckled, the sound muffled beneath his mask. He slashed at Monron, who blocked once again with her lute. They struggled against each other, trying to push one another back, but neither was gaining ground. The bird man said, "Ha ha ha... It's obvious that you will be defeated! Surrender now and become my br... er... I mean, Toma's bride!"

The woman sneered at him, and said, "I'd rather die than marry any half-human friend of yours, or you either, scum!"

Not pleased by her answer, Torristan replied, "Well, that can be arranged." He jumped back, his feathered cape spreading wide, and shouted, "Feather Blizzard!" Suddenly, feathers shot out at Monron in a flurry so thick that she couldn't see a thing. A split second later, she felt a length of rope wrap around her arms and tighten. She dropped her weapon, and as the feather storm subsided, she stood there defenseless, Torristan laughing. He said somewhat bitterly, "You had your chance..." The bird man started advancing slowly with his sword, causing Monron to back into the rocky cliff behind her.

Ebiten gritted his teeth, seeing his situation go from bad to worse. He knew he had to do something, and quick. He regarded his opponents... The monkey man seemed quite clever, but it was his less than clever dog-man friend that was the much superior martial artist. As he continued swinging away with his pole to keep he both of them off of him, he started to get a little worn out. Wonton suddenly moved to his side, and he turned, leaving his back wide open to Sarutaro.

The monkey man chuckled, and immediately moved in behind Ebiten, charging in from behind as Wonton charged in from the front, throwing a palm strike at the short martial artist. Ebiten leapt straight up, high into the air, chuckling as the palm strike intended for him slammed right into Sarutaro's abdomen. He thought to himself, "That dog man might be a strong martial artist, but without any brains, he's as dangerous to his friends as he is to us!"

After falling onto the ground, Sarutaro got back up slowly, rubbing at the sore spot on his gut. He yelled loudly at Wonton, "What are you doing, you moron! You're not supposed to hit me!"

The dog man cocked his head to the side, and asked, "Awroo?" He managed to look a little bit guilty, but Sarutaro got the impression that he hadn't learned anything from this experience.

Ebiten landed away from the pair, and as they stood there trying to get their act together, he turned his attention on his ally, in trouble. He lashed out with his fishing pole several times, one of the strokes knocking the unsuspecting Torristan's weapon completely out of his hand.

The bird man turned around, his sword gone, and said, "You cretin! You'll pay for that..." He pulled several feathers out of his cape, and prepared to throw them, but a sudden strong blow was landed on the side of his head, sending him to the ground. Monron stood there holding her lute in hand, one of Ebiten's slashes having freed her from the ropes and allowing her to take advantage of Torristan's distracted state.

Steaming mad, Torristan got back to his feet, the mask off of his face now revealing his un-intimmidating face. He said in a whiney voice, "You're gonna pay for this humiliation!" One more solid blow to the head from Monron shut him up, and put him out of the fight.

Sarutaro finally realized what was going on, and turned in time to see Torristan go down. He looked over to Ebiten, and said, "Not bad... Even though we had the advantage of numbers, you've managed to even the score. However, this battle isn't over, and you're never going to beat us." Wonton sat there panting and looking happy as he said this, completely ruining the dramatic tension.

After a pause, Wonton and Sarutaro started charging swiftly at Ebiten, trying to remove the little man from the fight quickly before his partner could react. Ebiten saw it coming, and before either of them had gotten very close, he lashed out at Sarutaro with the fishing pole, casing him to jump away and stop his charge. The little martial artist gave pursuit, leaving Wonton to face Monron one on one.

The dog man stopped running, and just stood there looking at Monron, cocking his head to the side a bit and saying, "Awoo?" He reached behind him, and then presented the pretty lady with one of his favorite bones. Monron frowned a bit, looking at his gift, but knew that an opportunity had presented itself. She smiled and walked forward, taking the bone. Wonton looked very happy, closing his eyes and panting. It was in this moment that Monron started beating him over the head mercilessly with her instrument.

The monkey man saw what was happening to his partner, and growled, still trying to dodge blows from Ebiten's fishing wire. He thought, "This little punk can't be strong at all... I'm going to take him out of this right now!" Sarutaro jumped straight at his foe, taking several lashes from the fishing pole as he did. Once he was in close, he made a grab for the pole, but Ebiten was able to pull it out of his reach... Sarutaro settled for kicking him strongly in the face instead, sending him skidding across the ground.

The short and large eared Seven Lucky Gods Martial Artist stood up with difficulty to see the monkey man standing there, grinning at him. Sarutaro said, "I bet you thought your martial arts were a match for mine... However, it's time to end the charade. I'll show my true power now. Ultimate Technique, Shadow Fall!" Ebiten didn't have time to move when he was suddenly surrounded by a dark mist and felt his body stop responding. He gritted his teeth and struggled, but couldn't break free of the attack's control. After a moment of fighting off the numbness, the short man fell to the ground, unconscious.

Sarutaro turned around to see that Monron had finally finished her brutal beating of Wonton, and now the battle had become a true one on one fight at last. The monkey man chuckled, still looking quite confident, and said, "I just showed your friend my true power... Now it's your turn." He started gathering his power to perform his attack again.

Monron sighed a bit, and stuck out her chest a bit. Sarutaro's eyes went wide and he lost concentration completely, and he had to use his hand to keep his jaw from hanging open. At this point, Monron said, "It's you who has yet to see my true power." She quickly hefted her lute, and before her adversary could react, the strings of the instrument shot out and wrapped around Sarutaro's arms, legs, and his neck. The monkey man growled, and tried to pull himself free.

With a laugh, the last of the Seven Lucky Gods Martial Artists said, "The more you struggle, the tighter the wire becomes. You're at my mercy now..." She plucked a string on the instrument, and the wire on Sarutaro's arm tightened suddenly, cutting into his skin.

He growled, and said, "I'm not beaten! Shadow Fall!" He gathered his ki, and projected it out toward Monron in his attack, hoping that she would be caught off guard long enough to relax the hold on him. However, as the music playing martial artist felt the attack begin, she quickly pulled the instrument up, causing the monkey man to be pulled off of his feet, and with him attached to the end of the wires, she slammed him head first into the cliff face.

The Shadow Fall attack subsided as the person using it suddenly lost consciousness and fell to the ground. Monron released him from the strings, and sighed to herself as she saw all the knocked out persons from both sides of the fight. Although the adversaries had proven challenging, it was just another trial for the Seven Lucky Gods Martial Artsits, which they overcame.

A few moments later, Muu, Daikokusei, and Daihakusei showed up, attracted by the commotion. Monron looked to them, and said, "Let's haul these scum out of here. I don't think they'll be bothering us again."

Several months later...

Sarutaro, Torristan, and Wonton walked along another mountain path in China. Torristan said, "Don't you think we ought to go home now?"

Sarutaro shouted, "No way! We're going to have revenge for Toma's defeat, AND our defeat... You just wait, we'll find that place again, I swear it!" They kept hiking along, nowhere near where they had fought their battle with three of the Seven Lucky Gods Martial Artists.

The Results:

Bishamonten, Monron, and Ebiten: 25

Torristan, Sarutaro, and Wonton: 19

Heh... it looks like everyone associated with Toma has some sort of curse on them... I thought this one was going to go the other way, but as usual, I can never predict these things =) I hoped I would have gotten more votes than this after leaving the fight up for 7+ months, but that's how it goes, I guess. Thanks to everyone who voted.