Ranma 1/2 Anything Goes Battle Arena

The Setting:

    In the Nerima public bathhouse, Happosai was in heaven. Every time he could slip out of the Tendo Dojo and visit the baths, he would. He strolled in the door with his bathing suit on and his bucket of toys. Without Ranma there to stop him, he was going to have a lot of fun. He jumped into the bath and relaxed for a while, then decided it was time to take a sneak peek.

    Happosai climbed the divider wall between the men's and women's sides of the bathhouse, and peeked over to the other side. He heard one of the women softly humming a Chinese melody. A closer look revealed that it was none other than Shampoo.

    The old freak just couldn't contain himself, and leapt towards Shampoo, "Shampoo baby! Here comes Happy!" Happosai stopped in mid air as a distubing sight intercepted his path of flight.

    "Stop it right there, you old lecher!" Cologne shouted. Happosai noted with relief that she was wearing a loose fitting bathing suit. Cologne continued, "Go back to the men's side and I won't have to beat some sense into that perverted head of yours!"

    Happosai pouted, "I just wanted to look at Shampoo... is that so much to ask?" His tone was suddenly serious, "I think you'd better get out of my way before I have to teach you a lesson."

    "That's impossible. It's against the laws of our village to allow anyone to look at an Amazon naked except for her husband. If you don't leave know I'll be forced to defend the laws of our tribe." Cologne challenged.

    "So, that's the way it's going to be, is it?" The old man became angry, "I won't back down! It's my right as much as anyone's to look at her naked!"

    As the two combattants sized each other up, their battle auras grew in size and intensity.

 Commentary

Blade
    Actually, in many situations I'd give the edge to Happy. He's shown the ability to ignore underwear when he wants to. But in a bathouse?  Distraction city. Unless Cologne has hentai tendancies, he's eventually going to make a bad mistake.

Ryouga-kun
    Happy already has beaten Cologne eaisily in his opening.

Mike
    I would say insurance adjusters, but that was not given as an option. But, since they are at a bathouse Happousai will be distracted wich give cologne the edge she needs.

Alex Small
    Happosai will be victorious. I will admit that he is easily distracted, and a public bathouse is the mother of all distractions for him, but he is being motivated by his will to see Shampoo naked. He is often in bathouses, and is probably quite accustomed to fighting off security guards and other martial artists who are trying to prevent his perversions. If the anime is anything to go by, he also has a fighting style that uses the bathouse to his advantage. Cologne is good, but Happosai is THE master.

The Fight

    Happosai thought to himself, "So, this dried up old bag thinks she can be me, the founder of the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts? What a joke. I'd better get this over with quick before all of the pretty ladies run away." Happy pulled his pipe out, and leapt into the air. Cologne leapt into the air with her staff ready.

    The old ghoul thought to herself, "That lecher probably thinks he can beat me. Well, I guess I'll have to show him what happens when you mess with 3000 years of Chinese Amazon History." Cologne thrust her staff at Happosai, but the master deflected it with his pipe. The two combattants landed, and Cologne turned around and quickly jumped into the air again. Happosai, however, had landed on an unsuspecting girl's chest and proceeded to glomp away.

    The girl screamed and punched Happy away, and while he was in air Cologne bashed him on the head with her staff.

    "What did you do that for? I was just having some harmless fun." Happosai pouted as he rubbed the top of his head.

    "Harmless? Being groped by you is the most psychologically harmful experience any girl can have!" Cologne retorted.

    "That's it... I've heard enough!" Happosai shouted angrilly. He picked up several wooden buckets, and tossed them into the air all around Cologne. "Fist of the Hermit Crab!" Happy shouted as he hid himself under one of the flying buckets. Cologne destroyed as many of the buckets as she could with her stick, but Happosai managed to get a hit in with his pipe. The olg ghoul was tossed against a far wall, and looked VERY angry.

    Happosai grinned and was about to press his attack when he noticed severeal of the girls making a hasty exit. Happosai pleaded desperately, "Wait! No... don't leave! I promise I'll go back to the other side!" But the girls kept going. Happosai started to cry, and Cologne used the opportunity to hit him with the staff. Happy was thrown into the wall on the other side of the bathouse.

    "Ok... no holds barred this time Cologne. Founding School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts Final Attack! Happo Daikarin!" The master pulled out a small fuse bomb, lit it, and threw it at his opponent. Cologne swatted the bomb away with her staff into the bath, where the fuse was extinguished. Happosai was beginning to think he should have moved the fight to a more favorable location, but it was too late for that now.

    Happosai shouted "Okuda Hurricane!" and spun his pipe around and around, creating a whirlwind that tossed all of the wash buckets and soap and other bath materials around. "This will distract her long enough for me to finish her off" Happy thought to himself.

    "What's going on over there?" someone on the men's side could be heard saying.

    "Now to end this!" Happosai said as he jumped at Cologne. He rode the hurricane as it brought him close and closer to where the old ghoul was defending herself from all the flying debris. As she saw Happosai in the hurricane heading towards her she smiled. Cologne twirled her staff in the opposite direction of the hurricane, and brought the winds to a standstill. Happosai was stuck in midair with a look of surprise on his face as Cologne again hit him with her staff and flung him into the wall.

    Happy growled furiously as he jumped to his feet, and noticed that the water in the bath had been removed by the winds and could no longer stop his fire bombs. Happy grinned and pulled about ten bombs from his swimsuit. "HAPPOOOOOO DAIKARIN!" The lecher shouted as he cocked his arms back to throw.
 
    Just then, Shampoo grabbed all the bombs from his hands and stuffed them down his swimsuit, "You no mess with Joketsuzoku, old pervert!" Shampoo punted Happy toward Cologne, who hit him baseball-style with her staff, sending Happosai through the roof and into the air, where the bombs exploded.

    "That ought to teach him." Cologne said. "Let's get going Shampoo."

    Minutes later, in the bathouse manager's office...
 
    "Sir! Happosai has been here again... the women's side is completely destroyed... again!" The janitor said to the manager.

    "Very well... make sure it's all taken care of." After the janitor left, the manager cried for hours on end. He had definately chosen the wrong district of Tokyo to run a business.

Cologne: 9

Happosai: 3

Geez... I really didn't get a lot of votes this time :( Please tell everyone you know who is interested in Ranma to check this place out, and if there's anything that could use improvement, let me know... please? ^_^ Thanks.