RAMEN previously submitted as THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. Produced May 98 an Evangelion fanfic with Ranma 1/2 elements by EeL (TOH Ee Loong) Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by the people at GAINAX. English translation rights and distribution in the UK belong to ADVision. Ranma 1/2 is belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, copyright Shounen Sunday and Shogakukan in Japan and Viz Entertainment in North America and Western Europe. Many thanks to Andrew Huang (Evanjellydonut rules!) for prereading and saving me from a potentially huge mistake. What a difference a word makes. This should not be taken as any form of endorsement by the abovementioned and any errors, omissions and inadequecies are, of course, the sole responsibility of the author. Background (SPOILER ALERT) This assumes knowledge about the series up till at least Episode 12 with the defeat of the Tenth Angel. The author pays no attention to continuity or consistency. Misato is treating Shinji, Asuka and Rei to a 'big meal' to keep her promise to them for pulling off yet another one of her ingenious but crazy plans. Having defeated the (IMHO) most badly animated angel that I've seen in the series so far, the four have arrived at their 'five star restaurant'. [ ] square brackets indicate thought. * WARNING/STANDARD PRODUCT DISCLAIMER * This is technically not a lemon but has a strong lemonish tinge. If you are easily offended or don't like deviations from the original series that messes with the characters, DON'T CONTINUE! You have been warned. --- Under a red paper latern reading 'Ramen'. "We know how poor you are, Misato. This will be fine." Asuka declared in her imperial tone, arms akimbo. "And since there's no meat, Wondergirl will be joining us." "I'd like garlic noodles without roast pork," said Rei, in her usual quiet monotone. "Gimme shark's fin ramen and extra roast pork. Super-size it!" demanded Asuka. "Here you go!" said the Chinese proprieter. As the three pilots and their Operations Director dug into their meal, Shinji felt he had something to share. "Hey, Misato-san." "Yeah?" "I finally understood, today, what was good about being praised. And I also realized that... the reason I pilot my Eva is to hear those words from my father." "That's why you're a pilot?" interjected Asuka. "You really are an idiot!" --- Back at the Katsuragi Apartment Something was definitely wrong. Misato couldn't push him out of her head. She squirmed in her seat, her beer untouched. She had to do something - quick. She couldn't hold on for much longer. "Hey guys, I've some work to do at Headquarters. Don't stay up too late, alright?" Misato called to her two charges. "I'll tell Asuka as soon as she finishes her bath. Erm... are you alright, Misato-san?" asked Shinji. His guardian looked, well, unsettled. Shinji noted the nodes of perspiration on her forehead. Her messed hair. Her efforts to control her breathing. Her heaving chest... Her heaving chest... Shinji was startled out of his train of thought as Misato took a step towards him. [Yes,he'lldo.He'scuteenough.He'sjustakid!It'llbuildhis confidence.No.No.Hetrustsme.IcanstillmakeittoKaji's.Ohmigod. What'shappeningtome?Ohmigod...] "Misato-san? Are you alright?" "I-I'm fine. Gotta go." Shinji started to pace around the living room, wringing his hands at his sides as the purple haired beauty dashed out of the door. He hoped Asuka would be done soon. He needed a shower badly. A cold one. [What was taking her so long?] He leafed through the newspapers, not really taking any of it in. Pen-pen was probably the best informed living being in this mad house he called home. "Shin-chaaan..." The object of the call stiffened as Asuka's unmistakeable voice drifted into the living room. He hoped she wasn't about to direct some merciless new taunt towards him - which was how Asuka tended to use that form of address. "Asuka, I..." The young pilot's jaw dropped. The sight of his flatmate, wrapped in a red towel, leaning against the ante-bathroom door overwhelmed him. She...she was beautiful. Flawless fierce blue eyes. Long chestnut hair. The figure of a nymph. She was also smiling at him like a cat that had cornered a mouse. "You want to kiss me, Shinji?" Short circuit. Overload. A10 nerve connection broken. Signal termination. The world has gone mad. Shinji found himself moving towards her, dimly aware but not in control. Quite like when his Eva went berserk against the Third Angel. They practically leapt into each other's arms. Lips met. Warm, moist, soft. Tongues clashed. Shinji's arms, locked around Asuka's waist, pulled her towards him. She began to tug at his shirt as she pushed herself against him. The fire engulfing them was becoming unbearable. And then the doorbell rang. And rang. And rang. And rang. The two were rudely thrust back into the real world as an urgent banging on the door now joined the incessant ringing. Shinji and Asuka found that they had magically teleported a good two metres from each other in an instant. "Aren't you going to get it?" growled Asuka. "Who...who is it?" ventured Shinji through the intercom. "Ikari-kun... Please let me in," came the quiet yet tense reply. "Ayanami. Didn't you go home?" was all Shinji could muster, rather stupidly, as Rei stepped into the apartment. Rei's cheeks were flushed crimson against her pale skin. She was looking at her feet, both hands clasped in front of herself, fidgeting with the hem of her dress. "I..." was all the indigo haired girl could manage before she was interrupted by a Soryuu-Langley Furious Outburst. "WHAT'S *SHE* DOING HERE!?" Rei suddenly took Shinji's right hand and placed his palm against her chest, over her heart, her delicate hands keeping his in place. "Ikari-kun, I want to become one with you." For the second time in the evening, Shinji's brain was fried by the input he was receiving and the accompanying hormonal surge. "Ooooh no, you don't!" screamed Asuka. "He's mine! Mine! Mine! All mine!" The two girls proceeded to engage in a tug of war. Rei in possession of Shinji's right arm, Asuka controlling the left. "Why don't you just go home!? Give it up!" raged Asuka. Rei, resolutely and as calmly as always, held on. "Let go, Wondergirl! You haven't got a prayer!" "You realize that neither of us will get what we want if this continues." Rei's icy tone cut through the red haze in Asuka's head. [Damned, I hate it when she's right.] Asuka was starting to twitch. Twitch. Twitch. Twitch. "Okay! Alright! But I get to go first!" "Deal." "Don't I have a say?" whined Shinji as his brain finally came back online. "No," returned the goddesses of Fire and Ice. --- The Morning After Misato breathed heavily as she leaned her head against the door to her apartment. Kaji had been very pleasantly surprised and they had re-lived some of the good ole days when they had been living together. But when he tried to talk to her about their relationship this morning, she had been totally freaked out. [What possessed me last night?] She turned tail and ran, not wanting to let him press his case further. He was convincing. He was probably right. But she didn't want to think about it right now. Misato lifted her forehead from the door as she heard a loud voice and sounds of impending violence coming from inside her home. "You-you!!! You PERVERT!!! HOW COULD YOU!?" [That would be Asuka.] "I...I'm sorry?" [That was definitely her Shinji.] "Why are you so angry, Asuka? You seemed to enjoy yourself last night." [Rei? What was she doing here? What was going on?] Misato crept in as the apartment door slid open and scouted out the source of the commotion. It didn't take long to pinpoint it to the living room and to an amazing sight. She saw Asuka's back. The German-Japanese girl was clasping a red towel around her otherwise un-clad figure. Her free hand was raised in a fist. "It's a conspiracy! Ganging up on me! You two idiots deserve each other!!!" screeched a furious Asuka at Shinji and Rei. The aforementioned pair were sitting up in a futon that had been laid on the living room floor. Shinji was cowering from Asuka's onslaught, his attempt to raise the blanket mainly for the benefit of Rei's modesty. Rei, on the other hand, seemed unconcerned. She had an arm around Shinji's shoulder, another around his chest and her head resting against his shoulder. She even had a small blissful smile on her face. "Does that mean I can have Shinji-kun to myself?" Rei proposed, almost cutely. Asuka began to tear at her hair as she screamed in complete frustration. (Zoom into her mouth. Good view of her tonsils. Then pan to outside the apartment block. The screaming is still audible. Zoom out to take a view of the whole of Tokyo-3. More, yes, more. Ok. Gradually fade out the screaming as we were zooming out. Rapidly re-focus on the ramen shop from the night before.) Meanwhile in Shin-Nerima District of Tokyo-3, Nekohaten Ramen Stall "AIYAH! Where blind stupid Mousse put special delayed-action passion spice!?" :) The End --- My first fanfic. Please tread kindly. And yes, I know about Rei. Comments and criticism PLEASE! (email: toheel@singnet.com.sg)