Well, let's see.

I rewrote Rei's scene in front of the apartment door, and the scene
between Rei and Shinji in front of the Christmas tree. I tried to make
them more 'evaesque'.

The most frequent criticism I got was that Rei was out of character. Of
course, if you feel that Rei and Shinji getting togather is OOC, then
there is noting I can do to this fic to help, but if it was just that dialog
I
had, then this might help.

Or it might just be wierd and disjointed. But then, who can tell with
Evangelion?

Please let me know what you think.

If you just want to read the changed scenes, start at Rei leaning her head
against the apartment door. About 2/3 of the way down.

As always, Neon Genesis Evangelion and all characters are the property
of Gainax, an I'm pretty sure I have no right to be doing this.

Misato's Christmas Party
------------------------
 Shinji and Asuka stood in the door, staring at the fir tree in the
living room. From the hall closet came the sounds of boxes being moved.
Misato emerged in her usual after-work attire, cutoffs and a tank top,
carrying several boxes stacked precariously in her arms.
 "I knew I kept these decorations when I moved! Shinji - you better
hurry and get this place cleaned up. Our guests will be here in a couple
of hours." Misato picked up a beer from the table and took a long
swallow.
 Shinji's face dropped. "Guests? When did you decide to have a
party?".
 Misato finished off her beer and wiped the foam from her mouth,
and smirked. "Why yesterday of course, when my three pilots told me how
much they needed one!" She lowered her voice and stared at Asuka and
Shinji. "You didn't *seriously* think I was going to let the three of
you get away with that 'I don't want to celebrate Christmas' crap did
you? Besides, you can't trim the tree without a party. Say - where's
Rei? Why isn't she here to help?"
 Asuka - who had been silently staring at the tree - turned and
gave Misato a disgusted look. "*How* much have you been drinking? She
doesn't live here, you know! And we just found out about your stupid
party!"
 Misato hiccuped and lifted her nose at Asuka. "I haven't had any
more to drink than usual." She had a hurt look on her face. Shinji and
Asuka both rolled their eyes.
 "Hey - why are you two doing that!" Misato put her beer back on
the table and placed her hands on her hips. "Stop goofing off and get to
work! Shinji, clean this place up! And Asuka - go call Rei!"
 "She said she had something to do tonight."
 "Then go find her!"
 "But why should *I* have to go get her! I'm not the one who's
always mooning after her and peeping at her in her swimsuit! That's what
Shinji's for!"
 "Uh-hey! I don't do that! I do not peep at my fellow pilots in
their swimsuits!"
 Asuka narrowed her eyes. "Oh! So you peep at us without our
swimsuits?"
 "Yes - I mean, no! No!"
 Misato got another beer out of the refrigerator. After living with
the two of them for a while, she was used to their bickering. "Now, now
Asuka." She flourished her hand in the girl's direction. "If you don't
hurry and get Rei,you won't have time to get ready before Kaji gets
here."
 "Kaji? Kaji! He's coming?" Asuka asked excitedly.
 "Well of course! And so is Ritsuko, Hikari, Touji, Kensuke . . . "
Asuka was out the door before Misato could finish. Shinji had been
picking up Misato's empty beer cans from the table. His face got
gloomier as her list of guests continued to grow.
 "Do you think you have enough alcohol in the apartment for that
many guests?" he asked sarcastically.
 "Don't be silly, Shinji. Of course not! I'm having more
delivered." She looked guilty for a moment as she handed Shinji a slip
of paper and said, "Oh yeah, by the way, this is your portion of the
expenses. Don't worry about paying me now, you can give it to me next
payday!"
 Shinji groaned. He was glad that Asuka had already left the
apartment.

-*-

 Shinji knew the party would be bad when Misato came out of her
room dressed as a reindeer. Shinji thought that Misato's everyday
outfits were very daring, and she wore even less at home, but the
reindeer outfit... the horns... the tail... was, well... disturbing. He
usually tried not to think about that sort of thing too much, especially
about Misato, Asuka or Rei. There was too much potential for
embarrassment, and he had been ridiculed enough as it was.
 Shinji figured that Misato must be pretty loaded, even by her
standards, to wear that outfit. Her face was red enough to confirm his
fears.
 "Shinji! What do you think?"
 Misato stood in the middle of the room posing.
 "Well?"
 Shinji looked at her, and then quickly looked at the floor. A slow
blush began to spread across his cheeks. "Do you have to embarrass me
like this?" He asked quietly.
 Misato leveled a frank stare at Shinji and said: "Why? Don't you
like my outfit? Don't I look good in it?"
 "Well, yes... but..."
 Misato held Shinji's gaze as she slowly sauntered over to where he
was standing. She slowly leaned forward until her eyes were looking
directly into his, their faces only inches apart.
 "Shinji, Don't you like to look at me in it?" Misato's voice was
low and sultry.
 Shinji's face reddened even more, it was all he could do to stare
at the floor. "Why do you always do this to me?"
 Misato laughed and gave Shinji her brightest smile and ruffled his
hair. "Because its fun!" With a toss of her hips she disappeared into
the kitchen. "What! No more beer?! I guess I'll just have to drink
something else until the liquor people arrive. Have you ever had egg nog
Shinji? I've got a great recipe for it here, you'll love it! Especially
with my *secret* ingredient. I bet you can't guess what it is!"
 Shinji groaned.

-*-

 Once the party began, Shinji found himself paired up with Rei. He
thought it was rather odd to begin with. After all, he was a quiet
person, and Rei was a positive recluse. But the more he thought about
it, the more he realized that there was really no one else at the party
for either one of them to pal around with. Of course, Shinji's friends
were present, but they were busy mooning around after Misato. Shinji
didn't want to watch her flirt any more tonight. No one, it seemed, was
safe.
 They had started out by trimming the tree. Some guests had brought
ornaments as gifts, and several of the boxes Misato had pulled from the
closet had ornaments in them. But, by the time all of these were hung,
the tree still had several yawning bare spots. Then Misato had the
bright idea of wrapping wire around the necks of her empty liquor
bottles and hanging them from the tree.
 Ritsuko had pointed out that the heavy bottles would probably
break the branches. But Misato had countered by retrieving a box of
empty miniatures from her room.
 "Don't you ever throw away your empties, Misato?" Kaji asked.
 She stuck her tongue out at him. "That's what Shinji's for!"
 Surprisingly, the empty miniatures actually looked quite good on
the tree. Misato insisted that the Americans did it all the time, but no
one believed her.
 Eventually most of the guests left, leaving only Ritsuko, Kaji,
Hikari, Rei and Shinji's friends.
 Asuka was stalking Kaji, who was trying his best to avoid her.
Ritsuko seemed to be amused by the whole thing, and kept trying to tease
Misato about losing Kaji to Asuka. So the merry band simply floated in
circles around the room - Touji and Kensuke chasing Misato, who flirted
with the boys and bantered with Ritsuko, who was protecting Kaji from
Asuka. Shinji and Rei sat against the wall, watching the whole sordid
affair unwind before their eyes.
 Shinji watched Rei as she followed the increasingly drunken
movements of Misato with calm disinterest. When Asuka had returned with
Rei, she had not expressed any opinion about the party. Rei had done as
she was asked, and had helped set out the refreshments, but then she had
taken a cup of punch and sat where she was now. No amount of inducement
had led her toward conversation, and eventually the others had given up
trying to talk to her. Asuka had been more derogatory than usual about
Rei's attitude. But, as usual, Rei had simply ignored her. Now Shinji
watched her closely, wondering about her silence.
 "Umm, are you enjoying the party Rei?"
 "No."
 "Really? Why not?"
 "I . . . dislike holidays."
 "Huh! You do?"
 "Yes."
 "Didn't your family celebrate any holidays?"
 "..."
 Shinji didn't think it was possible, but Rei seemed to draw even
more into herself, exuding a cold aura which discouraged conversation.
Shinji mentally kicked himself. Family was a sore point for the Eva
pilots. He pressed on though, determined to talk to her.
 "My father never celebrated holidays with me. Never. Even my
earliest memories of Christmas, with my mother, have no images of my
father. It almost seemed like he didn't exist for me until my mother
died. Not that he did anything after her death either." Shinji's voice
was filled with bitterness and self-pity.
 Rei turned her head to look at Shinji. Her eyes softened a little,
but otherwise her face showed no change in expression. He continued
speaking.
 "The first Christmas I really celebrated was after I left home.
That was a few years ago. The school I was at arranged for me to spend
Christmas and New Years with the family of another student there. I was
uncomfortable, watching people who love each other express their
happiness, when I was alone. That's why I didn't want to celebrate
Christmas this year - I didn't want to have and try to reach out to
others, knowing that I'm not really a part of their family, that I'm an
outsider."
 Rei considered Shinji, without changing her expression. "What
about Major Katsuragi and Asuka?"
 Shinji noticed that she did not include herself. It was just like
her to exclude herself from the group.
 "Well, I live with them. Misato has been very kind to me. And I
even get along with Asuka some now, but they're not family. I'm not sure
I've ever had a real family." Shinji placed his hands in his lap and
stared at the floor glumly.
 Rei looked out at the party again. Misato was teasing Touji
mercilessly, and Hikari's face was getting red as she tried to drag him
away. Asuka had her hand over her eyes and shook her head as she stood
by Hikari. When Rei spoke, her voice was soft, barely above a whisper.
 "My first memory is of Commander Ikari, watching me. Family makes
me uncomfortable." Rei continued to watch the rest of the party goers
while she spoke.
 Shinji stared at Rei. He didn't think that his father had real
feelings for Rei. It might appear that he did, but Shinji's own bitter
experience told him that his father only used people. Rei continued to
watch the party, but despite her outburst, she betrayed no emotion.
 "I don't know what to say, Rei."
 "Then don't say anything."

-*-

 Asuka was tired of chasing Kaji, and tired of watching Hikari get
jealous of the attention Misato was giving Touji. She was more or less
resigned to the fact that Kaji wasn't really interested in her as a
woman. Why would he be when he had a woman like Misato to chase after?
Not that Misato was all that hot. Men were just idiots. Tokyo 3 wasn't
what she had expected.
 Bored, she wandered away from the main group. Then she saw Shinji
and Rei sitting together under the mistletoe.
 Now, Asuka knew that they weren't sitting there on purpose. The
two of them were so dense that they probably didn't even know that the
mistletoe was there. Heck! The two of them probably didn't even know
what mistletoe meant! Asuka thought about the situation for a minute,
and struggled with her conscience. She wanted to make a scene. Shouldn't
she feel some guilt about it? Probably, but she didn't! Oh well, she
couldn't live with herself if she let this opportunity slip by.
 "Say," she said brightly, "when did this start?"
 Rei looked at her for a second, and then asked in a soft voice,
"What do you mean?"
 "When did the two of you become an item, eh?"
 Shinji looked away from Rei quickly. "What?" His voice cracked as
he spoke.
 "When did the two of you get so cozy? I mean, you've spent the
whole night together, ignoring everyone so that you could sit alone in a
quiet corner under the mistletoe."
 Shinji's face began to redden. "M-m-mistletoe?" He slowly looked
up.
 Everyone else had started to gather around the three of them when
they heard Asuka's first exclamation. Now they began to encourage Shinji
and Rei to kiss. Misato was at the front of the pack. "Yea Shinji! Kiss
'er! Go on! Be a man about it!" She slammed down the rest of her beer.
"Kaji, gimme anudder beer!"
 Rei looked at Misato, who was listing dangerously, then Asuka.
Asuka began to sweat under Rei's cool gaze. Deciding that she preferred
to be in control, Asuka took the offensive again.
 "Well, what's the matter? Don't you believe in the holiday
spirit?" Asuka arched her eyebrow and looked down her nose at Shinji and
Rei, her hands on her hips.
 Rei's eyes bored into Asuka's. Then she turned toward Shinji and
placed a hand on his cheek. His eyes began to dart from Rei to Asuka to
Misato and back. Then Rei leaned forward and kissed him gently on the
lips.
 Asuka snickered.
 Rei parted her lips slightly and pulled Shinji's body closer to
hers. Shinji, who had been very still from the time Rei had placed her
hand on his cheek until now, began to squirm and make muffled noises.
Rei let her tongue slip into Shinji's mouth, where it soon encountered
his. Shinji stopped squirming and stiffened. His eyes rolled up into his
head as his mind shut down.
 Asuka stared at the two of them with her eyes wide and her mouth
gaping open. "Arrrrrrgh! She's giving him tongue!" She yelled in
disbelief.
 "Awww-right Rei! Yeah! Finally, some action!" Misato screamed,
then passed out. Kaji laughed and caught her as collapsed, then he and
Ritsuko began to carry Misato to her room.
 Rei broke the kiss and pulled back from Shinji.
 "Good night, Shinji."
 Rei's voice was soft, for his ears alone. Shinji could hear the
emotion in her words, though her face betrayed none. Then she stood and
left, ignoring the others.
 Asuka stood staring at Shinji, a look of pure amazement on her
face. "The First Child is weird Shinji, very weird. Who would ever want
to kiss you? I mean, you weren't very good when I did . . . " The gasps
from behind made her stop, and she realized what she had just said, and
whom she had said it in front of. She stared in horror at Hikari, who
was trying to stifle a laugh.
 "Ach, Mein Gott!" Asuka screamed, then ran to her room and slammed
the door shut.
 Touji and Kensuke stood around Shinji and slapped his shoulders.
"Shinji! You've kissed them both, you dog! I never thought you had it in
you!" Touji exclaimed.
 Kensuke couldn't hold in his excitement. "Yeah! Why didn't you
tell us? That's quite a coup! I wish I'd brought my camera."
 Shinji ignored them both, and stared at the door Rei had left
through.

-*-

 Shinji sat alone in front of the Christmas tree. After Rei left,
with Misato passed out in her room and Asuka barricaded in hers, the
others had left. As usual, it had been up to him to see them out and
thank them for coming, then clean up the mess everyone else had made.
Still, staring at the tree shining softly in the corner made him think
of the good things that were in his life, even if there were few enough
of them.
 Despite the horror of the Angels, Shinji realized that these past
months had been the best in his life. He could finally see the worth in
himself, that he was valued by others. Although awkward at first, he
really enjoyed living with Misato and Asuka. They did pick on him a lot.
Misato was always making him cook and clean, and Asuka insulted him as
much at the apartment as anywhere else. Yet Shinji thought that this
must be what a real family was like. He had told Rei that he didn't
consider the two to be his family, but now, as he thought back to the
party, he realized that Misato, Asuka, and even Rei, might be the only
family he would ever have.
 The thought made him sigh.
 The door buzzed as someone rang the bell. Shinji glanced at the
clock, and wondered who it might be. He stood up and went to answer the
door.

-*-

 Rei walked slowly back to the door of Shinji's apartment. In the
shadows she had waited until the others left, watching them disappear
into the night. Then she had returned to the apartment. She rested her
head against the apartment door and breathed slowly, a faint blush
spreading across her cheeks. In her mind's eye, images flashed.

 Rei, kissing Shinji.
 -Why?-
 Asuka, staring down at Rei.
 *The Second Child.*
 Rei, on a stretcher in front of Eva-01.
 *You are expendable.*
 A woman, kneeling over Rei, her hands on Rei's throat.
 *You can be replaced.*
 Blurred bodies, floating in yellow fluid.
 -Can I die?-
 Students at the school, laughing.
 -If I cannot die, can I live?-
 Shinji, staring at Rei as she leaves.
 -If I cannot live, can I love?-
 Commander Ikari, smiling at Rei.
 -If I cannot love, can I be loved?-
 Dr. Akagi, standing behind Commander Ikari.
 -What is love?-
 A blurred woman, holding her child.
 Misato, crying into Shinji's empty plugsuit.
 Hikari, handing a box lunch to Touji.
 Rei, kissing Shinji.
 -Is this love?-
 Rei, standing behind Touji on the school roof.
 -What is love?-
 *Love is when Two are One.*
 *One Body.*
 *One Mind.*
 *One Soul.*
 Eva-00, standing in its berth.
 -Do I love Eva?-
 *You are One with Eva.*
 Rei, kissing Shinji.
 -I will be One with Shinji.-
 *Yes.*
 *We will be One with Shinji.*

 Rei rang the buzzer on the apartment door and waited.

-*-

 When he opened the door, Shinji was surprised to see Rei standing
at the rail, looking at him. Rei's eyes seemed to be glowing in the dim
half-light coming from inside the apartment. Her eyes locked with his,
and Shinji could not look away.
 "Ahhh . . . "
 Shinji swallowed. He could feel his hands trembling. Rei's stare
held his eyes.
 "Oh, ummm . . . " Shinji could feel chills running up his spine
from Rei's gaze. "C-come in . . . "
 Rei held Shinji's eyes for several long seconds. Then she walked
past Shinji into the apartment.

-*-

 Rei stood in front of the tree, watching the blinking lights. She
could hear Shinji in the kitchen. Soon he reappeared, carrying two cups
of steaming tea. He handed one to Rei, then sat on the couch.
 Rei sipped her tea. "It's good."
 "Thanks. I've gotten a lot of practice in the kitchen recently.
Misato and Asuka don't cook much." Shinji looked at Rei, who was still
staring at the tree. He placed his cup back on the saucer and held it in
his lap. He watched the steam rise from the tea.
 Rei looked out the window. In the crisp winter sky she could just
make out the sparkle of stars over the glow from the city.
 "Ummm, what did you want?" Shinji asked.
 Rei still stared intently out the window. "What am I?"
 Shinji watched Rei quietly. Her voice was calm and impenetrable,
as always. "What do you mean?"
 "What am I, to *you*, Shinji Ikari?"
 Shinji was getting worried about what Rei's question. It seemed
like the conversation was sure to result in his embarrassment. "You're a
friend, Rei."
 "A friend?" There was still no change in Rei's voice.
 "Y-yes."
 Rei turned and looked at Shinji, meeting his eyes with hers. "What
is friendship?"
 Now Shinji was unnerved. "What do you mean 'what is friendship'?"
 Rei's gaze continued to bore into Shinji. He thought that he had
never seen Rei look so... hungry?
 Rei spoke, in her usual voice, but did not meet Shinji's eyes.
"Can friendship be... love?"
 Shinji stared at Rei. He was worried about this conversation. He
didn't think his father would approve of this. Shinji stood and
nervously wiped his hands on his pants. "I'm sorry, I don't
understand..."
 Rei walked forward until she stood in front of Shinji.
 "Love is..."
 She wrapped her arms around his neck.
 "One Body..."
 She rested her head on his shoulder. She could feel Shinji
tremble.
 "One Mind..."
 Rei smiled her small smile, and whispered into his ear.
 "One Soul..."
 Shinji could not stop trembling. He could feel Rei's body pressed
against his. He slowly lifted his arms and placed them around Rei's
waist. She squeezed him tightly as she softly spoke.
 "We will be One, Shinji."
 Rei lifted her head and gazed deeply into his eyes. Shinji was
really worried now. "Ummm... Rei..."
 Rei pulled Shinji's head down and kissed him deeply.
 Shinji was stiff at first, but gradually relaxed and began to
return Rei's kiss. After a long while, Rei broke off the kiss and took
Shinji's hand. He still trembled, but followed her willingly.


-*-

 Asuka silently slid her door shut and fumed. First Kaji chased
after Misato. Then 'Wonder Girl' actually kissed that idiot Shinji, and
now this.
 "Asuka, " she thought, "your life is crap."

-*-

 When Misato dragged herself out of bed the next morning, she had a
terrible hangover. "Why did I let myself go off and drink like that last
night?"
 Misato pulled a housecoat on, and stumbled into the hall. "A hot
bath and an ice cold beer are what I need," she thought to herself.
 She walked to the kitchen and pulled the refrigerator door open.
She could see that Shinji had already wrapped the party leftovers and
put them away. "Damn, I hate neat freaks," Misato thought to herself.
She took a beer and shuffled toward the bath, still only half-awake.
 She saw Shinji coming out of the bath drying his hair. When he saw
Misato, he quickly slid the door shut behind him.
 "G-g-good morning," he stuttered.
 Not in the mood to talk, Misato grunted and waited for him to move
out of her way. When he still stood frozen in place, she placed her free
hand on his shoulder and started pushing until she could get to the
door.
 "Let that be a lesson to you Shinji," Misato said. "Never come
between me and my bath when I have a hangover." She turned and entered
the bath, shutting the door behind her, ignoring Shinji's wide eyes and
trembling body.
 "Good morning, Major."
 Misato screamed and spun around when she heard the disembodied
voice floating out of the steam. She saw a shape emerging from the mist.
The figure paused and looked at her intently as she pressed her back to
the tile wall.
 "Are you feeling well?" the blurry figure asked in an emotionless
voice. Misato just nodded quickly. The figure watched for another few
seconds before exiting the bath.
 Misato slumped down against the wall and sipped her beer. She must
have had a *lot* more to drink last night than she thought. She could've
sworn that was Rei!
 Half a beer later, as she relaxed in the steaming water of the
bath, Misato decided that she had just imagined the entire affair.
 Rei wouldn't have stayed last night.
 Would she?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Steve Pardue
spardue@zebra.net