In the post-terror era of 2002, a new evil emmerged from the ashes of democratic Clintonian society. Its beginnings were humble, its initial threat affable, but as time passed and its enemies vanished under mysterious circumstances, the threat began to lose its laughability and proceeded on a power-gaining path fraught with financial corruption, excessive inebriation, and eucalyptus leaves. The threat's name was JOJO.
There is a war going on- whether the majority of the world is aware of it or not is irrelevant. On one side is GENERAL DAVID LAW, a talented, stalwart young man with a commanding glare and a knack for saving the world. On the other side is THE VILLAIN JOJO, an evil so vicious and so widespread that her name has been associated with every major terrorist attack and disaster in the twenty-first century. She has been seen consorting with the likes of Osama Bin Ladden, Saddam Hussein, and Winnie the Pooh, among others, and her name has been attached to organizations such as Al-Queda, the Ku Klux Klan, and the National Organization for Lesbian Equality.
The war continues.
Much of what we know of this secret war is contained in letters from the front lines, most notably those from CLETUS VANDERHOOVEN, a young grunt who writes consistently home to his mother. Letters from Cletus and others like him help us paint a picture of what this war is really like- a mean, unyielding battle of not-so-nice insults, poisoned eucalyptus leaves, and really crappy geography presentations.
But there is hope.
The VILLAIN JOJO'S days are numbered, and it is only a matter of time before GENERAL LAW infiltrates her hideous slug-infested hideout and brings home her horrible head. The battle continues with high expectations and a hope for the future. Keep the faith, soldiers, and, in the words of General Law, "let's kick Jojo's koala-ass." -THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
