whose Taradus? he came in killed my croc, i followed him around and he went aroudn killing others crocs, some guy advanced him so he shot him
and i did this...
< Moving as one fluid extension of power, you fire a long arrow at Taradus. Taradus attempts to dodge, taking the full blow. The arrow lands a devastating hit that shoves the arrow clean through the mouth and out the back of the head (Say 'ah'!).
The long arrow lodges itself savagely into Taradus!
* Taradus is slain before your eyes!
Taradus's pitch-black bow falls to the ground.
[You're solidly balanced]
[Roundtime 1 sec.]
He has a pulpy stump for a head. He has a long arrow lodged savagely into his head. no blood... what a jipp Avart says, "prower you lucky tybress not in" and curious what that means
I found some humor in this
From: Temale@aol.com [Castle Temal, Dungeon] The dungeon is a small, cramped room that reeks of burned flesh and mold. Looking about you see a rack with some straps on it that is just above an old firepit, a muzzle, a box that is shaking about wildly, and a table covered in many other odd things. Also Here: Klyph who is tied down to a rack. Klyph says something through his muzzle but you can't make it out. You say, "Yes. This must be quite exciting for you. You have the opportunity to be the first in my dungeon. And soon you will experience pain unknown to any being who ever walked the earth." Klyph shouts something through his muzzle but you can't make it out. You say, "Hmm....lets see....." >Look Table On the table you see a long serrated knife, a razor blade, a meat mallet, a thumbscrew, some bamboo slivers, some hot irons, a bucket of water, and a lot of other stuff. Klyph screams through his muzzle. You say, "Oh do be quiet, I haven't even started yet." You get a thumbscrew from on a table. You say, "This will do nicely..." You go to work on Klyph's right index finger with the thumbscrew. He screams in terrible agony, and begins sobbing. You continue to twist the thumbscrew, and he screams repeatedly. You put a bloody thumbscrew on a table. You get some bamboo slivers from a table. You shove some bamboo slivers into Klyph's fingers. You hear some muffled screaming as you push them deeper and deeper and deeper. You say, "Ahh nothing like a good torture session to wake you up in the morning, eh buddy?" You get some hot irons from a table. You put some hot irons on Klyph's feet. You hear muffled shrieking coming from Klyph's muzzle. You hear muffled shrieking coming from Klyph's muzzle. You hear muffled shrieking coming from Klyph's muzzle. You hear muffled shrieking coming from Klyph's muzzle. You say, "I think I'll leave those on a while..." You hear muffled shrieking coming from Klyph's muzzle. You get a long serrated knife from a table. You begin to carve into Klyph's flesh, cutting out large pieces of bloody meat. You hear muffled shrieking coming from Klyph's muzzle. You hear muffled shrieking coming from Klyph's muzzle. Klyph begins to cry uncontrollably. You get a meat mallet from a table. You smash the meat mallet into Klyph's knees, shattering bone and rending flesh. Klyph screams loudly as blood begins to drip from his wounds. You say, "Hmm...not screaming.....you awake??" You slap Klyph. You slap Klyph. You pour a bucket of water on Klyph, and he becomes aware once again of his surroundings. You hear groggy moans coming from his muzzle. You say, "Oooh and now my favorite." You unstrap Klyph's limp form and drag him over to a cage. Into the cage you empty out the contents of the box. A dozen hungry cats....oh wait...ten now.....begin scratching him wildly. Eventually the cats kill eachother. Under the cage you light a large fire. The muzzle comes loose and Klyph screams "No more! Please I beg you! No more!!" You say, "Thats what I said when you locked me out. Now you gotta pay." The fire gets going well, and begins to eat away at Klyph. He tries to climb up the cage, but his shattered kneecaps won't cooperate. He gives up moments later and begins to sob and shriek. You say, "Don't worry. Its not close enough that it will burn you to death. You will have a good....oh....week of this pleasant business to look forward to before you finally cook. Mmmm slow roasted..." Your spell ends and you cease to see events through the eyes of your target.
Yeah Klyph is a major dick, gonna write his response to my letter in DR Commentary section then maybe bitch about it in Forum or there
I thought this was FUNNY AS SHIT!!! YEAH I'M STILL LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!!!
Atrathien says, "Powerhaus, I've just removed your ability to cast the Tingle spell for the next 30 days."
********************
SEND[Atrathien] You are out of the game for the next 48 hours. And considering the number of warning syou have on record, I should probably be giving you a month.
********************
... shoot you in the head goddamn cocksmocker and then see whose laughing(actually i like Atrathien, but not now, he just went berserk)
Darciy asks, "Could somoen spare a silver fer a newbie empath needin a backpack please ?" You say, "like i've got a silver..." >You say, "i can give you a roll >You say, "but i'm broke in crossing" You say, "in fact i'm flat busted" (Powerhaus wishes his breasts were bigger) .......... Tinyboy casually observes the area. >(Powerhaus would say something about a pianist.. but might get LOCKED OUT) >You say, "maybe bards need tiny Pianos" >You say, "that'd be cool" >You say, "could play with picks or something" >You say, "cause tiny keys" Antonin says, "or little organs" You say, "or maybe have like 4 keys on it"> You say, "no, cause you'd have to blow air into it" You say, "that just won't work"> You say, "the peddles are too small" You say, "that's just rediculous... a tiny organ, never heard of a thing" You say, "no it's Tiny piano.. we're talking Piano's! not organs... organs bad" You say, "tiny pianos..." >You say, "for tiny uh..." >You say, "nevermind" You snicker. You say, "cause when you ask how tall he is" >You say, "that's where it goes bad"
You see Somniloquist Rottcloar Sepulture, an Elf Warrior Mage
He has crystal green eyes, very long wavy blue-black hair that is tied back, and pale skin.
He is young for an Elf.
He is in good shape.
He is wearing a small glossy black badge with writing that reads, "Yes, that was my cat sucking your breath out last night.", a shrunken moose head, an antler, a tacky pair of artificial hooves that have been decorated with gaudy red glitter and the threadbare rear end of a yak outfit that appears to have nurtured several generations of hungry moths.
nice uh badge, he also had this one: a glossy black badge with writing that reads, "Give me a kronar or I'll touch you"
If you looked at GM Viani:
You see ... Your Worst Nightmare
She is wearing a mirror. You peer in the mirror and shriek as you realize you are looking at yourself, and it's not a pretty sight.
ok you had to be there, and this can be taken way out of context but i thought it was funny
Meanne whispers to your group, "you want yer prize myst? Pull down yer pants and bend over."
I think she meant to kick him in the butt
Timothy grabs at you with clutching, claw-like fingers and screams, "Stop, stop! No more blood!" His face grows white as if he is in intense pain then with a sudden curse he pushes you away and begins rocking back and forth in a rhythmic fashion.
Joshuah says, "You invoke them and then the spell is in your spell book as long as you don't let your mana pool fall below a certain level."
>You say, "i wanna mana pool"
You say, "with a mana diving board and mana slide"
>You say, "could have a mana spa/jacuzzi for when the ladies come over"
Goto Hesarius's Website...it's in my Outhouse Crapper section, it's funny as hell, cause he's such a loser(and he actually believes his story is real)
Got this in a FWD titled: "Teh RP is melting my flesh AYIEEEE"
[Joshuah] "Marcul, do you have a moment? I would like to meet you for a moment."
[Marcul] "I am in Taelbert's just finishing dinner if you would like to come sit with me."
[Joshuah] "I am not one to spend much time in the Inns Marcul. I only have spent time in the Half Pint Inn. Where be Talberts?"
[Marcul] "Taelbert's is nae far south from the Cleric's Guild friend."
Kruass molests baby goats.
And Qikflash is still a moron.
Your mind hears Kolish thinking, "i wish i could swing slower..get hit harder and make less money...ohhh..wait..nevermind..wish granted"
Tsarenzi says, "Powerhaus is no longer to be considered a form of life."
I think she wants my body...
Magus whispers, "If his futile attempts to unnerve me make you smile, then so be it, yet I see no reason why they should do anything but have you realize his true nature."
Magus says, "Powerhaus, I have little to say to you, other than your futile attempts to unnerve me have been made in vain."
>Magus says, "You speak false truths, and show me only your ignorance."
Magus says, "As such, it is hardly worth my time to address you when you act in such a mannor."
found this at onelist.com
DRdildos [Assamese] [For People Over 21] Similar lists
Well since everyone else is starting their own mailing list, I might as well. This list is for the discussion of sexual toys in the game Dragonrealms. It is unrestricted so you can talk about wickedly spiked iron vibrators, glow in the dark pleasure beads, giant foam rubber mouth puppets, and just about anything. Please only creative criticism, no flames or rudeness. If you have your own GM altered pleasure toy, please submit it and I will add it to the archive. Darktainted
Ivak tips up his keg and begins chugging down his honey dew ale!
Ivak belches loudly. What color is that Dwarf's tonsils!?
Ivak holds his gut. You hear a loud rumbling noise. Suddenly Ivak belches causing the nearby trees to quiver.
Ivak smashes the sign to splinters with his axe.
Ivak goes wild and smashes the basket, stand, and table into smithereens.
You say, "smash the cat"
"I heard a hing joke the other day....it was "Wat do kfc and women have n common? Teh breasts and thighs r UNNNGGHHH so damn good but when u r done u only have a greasy box to put ur bone in."
this was told to me
was on the Seerah waiting for a damn long ride
You belt out, "everyone lie down, it'll cut down on wind resistance and get us there faster!"
[DragonRealms, Meeting Room]
A simple tune plays through this rather simple room. You listen and hum along, until you realize to your utter horror that the tune that is playing is from the latest Live CD.... You also see a base event, a base event, some almiris, a scowling mask, a big question mark, a brass pedestal with a text corruption note on it, a prominent placard, the Gorrilia chest, an elegant plaque, a profile reject table with a skunk on it, a fix profile table, a new profile table and a cursed broadsword.
Also here: GameMaster Seldennat, Assistant GameMaster Haru who is seated, GameMaster Brigdha, GameMaster Caymus who is seated, GameMaster Bartlebee who is seated, GameMaster Guppy who is seated, GameMaster Mercenary Gonk, GameMaster Belcor who is seated, GameMaster Smitty
Obvious paths: north, south, east, west.
[Manor House, Bedroom]
This small bedroom belongs to the family's son, Grob, who is sitting on the floor studying something. He quickly shoves a piece of paper under the bed, giving you a furtive glance. Toy war clubs and shields are strewn around the room, and a small version of the Tiger Clan guard uniform hangs from a peg on the wall.
Obvious exits: out.
look under bed
Under the bed you see a drawing.
look drawing under bed
An extremely buxom Gor'Tog woman wearing a provocative smile and a clinging garment is posed on a boudoir chair.
when you rub your juggling balls:
They're clean enough now. You'd be better off practicing your juggling.
and when you lick them:
Ick! You don't know where those have been!
