All characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

Admitedly the narrative is the same as SKJAM!'s fic 'Half a Conversation',
but please bear with me

Ryoucilo

A Tale of Two Rummies

 Hello how are you doing? Do you serve Zombies?  What do you
mean 'What will you have?' Oh, I guess I do look a little down 
and out. So could I have the drink now? Thanks. Aw, That really hits
the spot.

 I haven't seen you around here? You new? Aw, just got the job 
today! Congratulations on entering the respectable career of a 
bartender. Are you worried about any of the fights? Oh, so you
think you can take on anybody that comes in here eh? 

 Okay, junior you see those two lovebirds in the corner? Yeah, the
idiot with the bandanna and the girl with the pigtail. Well, those two
are probably the best fighters I have ever seen.

 Drunks? Of course they're drunks! But that didn't mean they still
couldn't beat the living hell out of anyone here. The first time they
came here it was the scariest thing I ever did see. 

 They tore up everything in sight and made a mess of everything. After
it was all done. There wasn't much left to the bar. Eveybody had at 
least a couple of bruises, some had broken bones and... and.. all 
of the beer was ruined! 

 I'm sorry I get real emotional when I get to that part of the story. As I
was saying it took five weeks to build everything back to its original
state.

 The bar looked better than ever and evertyhing was going fine so of course
those two had to come back. They just sat down and ordered a drink. 
They got their drinks because nobody wanted to mess with those two and
they just sat around drinking. When they had enough liquor in their system
that's when things got interesting.

 The guy started wailing,'Akane! Akane!' Looked like 'Streetcar Named
Desire' or something. The girl also started yelling out, 'Akane! Akane!' so 
everybody in the bar started yelling, 'Akane! Akane!' over and over again. It
was kind of fun.

 Those two would come back and moan and moan about Akane and as it turns 
out Akane was a girl they both loved. Yeah, what's so weird about that? Oh,
that it was a girl loving another girl! C'mon junior this is the nineties or
at least I think it's the nineties.

 Anyway it seems Akane didn't like the two. Something about the guy being 
P-Chan and the girl not telling her. What does that mean? How should I know?
They did a lot of stupid stuff when they were drunk. This one time the guy
asked the girl if she wanted to have sex. She said yes. She lies down on the floor
and he gets on top of her. 

 And now here's the funny part. They didn't take off their clothes! They 
were just lying there figuring they were having sex. It was hilarious. When
they got up they both said sex was way overrated.

 I know. I know. I'm rambling aren't I? This one time they came in the guy
told the girl that he loved her. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever
seen. Well, I must admit that this drink does come pretty close to being the most
beautiful thing I've ever seen.

 The girl asked why the guy never told her and he said because he was
afraid of reprisal and that society wouldn't accept it. Why wouldn't society
accept them? I dunno I guess the girl used to be a man or something. 

 The girl said that she also loved the guy and they went down on the floor
and had sex. That time they took their clothes off. Every night after that
they would come here drink a couple of beers and have sex on the floor. Speaking of
which it's about time they got to it. 

 Hey, junior don't interrupt them. It's a little weird that they do it
here instead of a motel , but everyboy's gotta have their eccentricites. So
just go back to your job junior. Here's the money for the drink and if you don't mind
I am going to sit back and enjoy the show.


The line about Zombies came from the book 'I Hear America Swinging'. .