Martial Artists and Mayhem: Third Edition
Ranma’s Secret
"What are you up to, boy?" Genma asked as he pulled Ranma aside. "I was all set to tell them that you were your sister when you pull this."
"Oh, yeah, that worked real well with Ryouga," Ranma shot back. "I got this covered." Genma twitched, a reaction not unlike Ranma had when his father said something similar. "I'll just say its like your curse." There was something nagging Ranma about this "solution" but he couldn't figure it out. He glanced back at the Tendo's and noted Nabiki staring at them.
"So you think you can catch every time you get splashed with water?" Genma asked quietly, also watching the Tendos waiting for them.
"How hard can it be to fix a trigger spell?" Ranma asked.
"So I guess that means your a man for now," Genma asked cautiously.
"Yeaah," Ranma said slowly, that nagging feeling was back. "What about it?"
"Nothing, let's just explain everything to the Tendos," Genma said quickly. Ranma started to push the issue when his father walked past him into the living room and took a seat. He cautiously followed, staring at Genma's back suspiciously.
"Are you ready, Saotome?" Soun asked from where he was sitting. Genma nodded as Ranma sat down next to him. "I'll explain it then. This is my dear old friend..."
"...Genma Saotome," the older man in the handkerchief said. "And this is my son..."
"...Ranma." Ranma noticed Akane glaring at him, chewing on a finger nail and clenching her other fist. Suddenly the nagging feeling came clear. He was a boy, that had just beaten Akane, virtually humiliated her in fact, and then "peeked" on her. Ranma glanced at her and swallowed nervously. The youngest Tendo was not happy.
"What's this all about?" Nabiki demanded, looking from Ranma to Genma.
"Are you really her," Kasumi asked. "That same girl!"
"Hmm," Genma put his index finger to his forehead and closed his eyes. "Where should I begin? I know..." Genma quickly turned to his son and tossed the surprised young man back into the courtyard. "HYAA!!" ~Well, Ranma, you wanted to be Jusenkyo cursed.~
"HEY!" Ranma called out as he sailed through the air towards a small koi pond. He was so surprised by the action, that he almost forgot about his plan. The airborne half-demon growled quietly as he landed in the pool. And came out a spluttering redhead. "What the hell are you doing?!"
The three Tendo girls stared in shock.
"Now he's a girl," Kasumi said, surprised.
"Ohhh. My own son, so humiliating, so humiliating," Genma said, weeping. Ranma twitched.
~Gee, great acting Pops,~ Ranma thought as she kicked the older man into the water and the giant panda returned. "Who are you to talk about humiliating!"
"Daddy, why are you friends with them?" Kasumi asked quietly, so as not to offend the guests.
"They weren't like this before!" Soun said, his old friend had told him about the panda curse and was about to explain Ranma when the noise started. Soun figured it out soon enough, however, and this demonstration proved his guess. "Not before they went to Qinghai...and undertook that terrifying training exercise."
*******
"Here, Sir. Is legendary 'Training Ground of Accursed Springs.'" the speaker was a beardless dwarf, obviously an exile, in a civil servant's garb. Ranma looked over the training ground and twitched as he looked over all the springs. Everywhere he looked, magic was rising out of the springs as thick as steam.
He corrected that thought. There was when the Masaaki pantheon came to visit his mother, but that magic wasn't as hostile. Up until the Goddess of Nobility and Auntie Ryoko got into a fight anyway. Then everybody, including their mutual husband, took cover and waited for the two to either kiss and make up or collapse from exhaustion. Ranma never caught the end of the fight, they moved on to another plane of existence after the first thirty minutes.
"Are you prepared, Ranma?"
"Hey, Pop, I don't think this is a good idea," Ranma said.
"Are you going to let a few pools of water deter you from your proper duty as a martial artist?" Genma demanded. Ranma looked out over the pools again and turned back to Genma. "Are you a man or aren't...you?" Genma's voice dropped as he turned to see his daughter standing there.
"Guy or girl, I ain't getting close to that stuff," the girl said. She stuck out her tongue as she gave the older man a red eye.
"How you do that?" the dwarf asked curiously. "You fall in spring before?"
"Nah, just a spell," Ranma said hastily. What did she care if this guy saw her switch, it wasn't like they were going to be around for long. "What the springs change you into stuff?"
"Oh yes," the dwarf nodded. "This place very dangerous. Nobody use now. Is more than one hundred spring here, and every one have own tragic legend."
"Enough of this nonsense," Genma declared, striding forward. "There's nothing here but a bunch of poles stuck in some springs. Don't you think that I would know if there really were a curse on this place?" Genma asked as he made ready to jump into a pool to prove his point.
"Pop! Don't!" Ranma shouted blurring forward in an attempt to keep her father from the magic emanating from the pools.
The redhead was an inch too slow and had to leap back to avoid getting splashed by the water herself. She could already feel the magic reaching out to grab her. The tendrils of magic burned against her inborn spell resistance.
"Pop?" Ranma asked as she recovered her balance. Those wisps of rising magic, suddenly seemed much more than just the aura of a strong curse. They were part of it, trying to grab more victims. Suddenly the water surface erupted, and the magic of the area started whirling viciously again, as a giant panda leaped out of the pool and growling in irritation.
"That is 'Spring of Drowned Panda'!" the dwarf yelled. "There is tragic legend, very tragic, of panda who drown there two thousand years ago! Now whoever fall in that spring take body of panda!" Ranma leaped away from the spray of water again, as the guide backed a safe distance away from the pools. This time the pull of the magic on the redhead was much stronger.
"No way, I ain't going in there!" Ranma shouted as she felt her weak resistance giving in to the pull of the pools. The redhead desperately abandoned her human disguise. Instead of falling into the more actively magical pools as the seemed to plan, the redhead sprouted great batwings and pulled herself away from the cursed pools. She didn't land until more than a stone's throw away from the pools.
"AH!! You is demon you is!" the dwarf shouted as the winged girl landed and stared hard at the pools. Ranma reached beautiful sharp nailed hands out to pull up her gi top as her wings retreated and she took her completely human form again. The guide tried to run only to find the demon girl, in human form appearing in front of him.
"Oh please, Master Dwarf...Sir," the girl said, batting her eyelashes cutely. "I'm only half demon, and I really need your help getting my father out of this mess he's leaped into. You aren't afraid of a cute little thing like me are you?" The redhead added the last on a cute plaintive plea with a hint of tears.
"Certainly, can help demon stupid father as much as can," the guide said nervously.
"Wai!! Thank you, sir!" the redhead cheered cutely. Then she turned to the panda and shouted, "Pop, get away from there before you fall in another spring!" The panda irritably complied, shaking off the remaining water and grumbling every step of the way.
*******
"...And I wasn't really paying attention after the change," Genma explained. "And I just had to take out my shock on something. So while Ranma was chatting with the guide about something, I attacked and tossed him in the 'Spring of Drowned Girl'."
The Tendos and Saotomes sat in silence in the wake of the tale.
"The legendary training ground of accursed springs," Soun said dramatically. "Its true horror has always been shrouded in mystery, but now..."
~I could have been turned into a panda,~ Ranma thought. ~Or a full human, or even...brrrr~ The pigtailed martial-artist shivered a little. "Whaddya mean 'true' horror?"
"Yo, old man," Ranma grabbed his father by the gi. ~Make me look like an idiot, huh?~ "What's the idea of dragging me to a place like that, anyway?"
"Heeyah!" Genma shouted as he tossed his son back into the pond.
~Damn, he's lucky I don't stoop to snacking on him,~ Ranma muttered as he, and then she, landed in the pool again.
"You sound like a woman!" Genma shouted. "Were you not prepared to give your life for the sake of your training?"
"My life, yes," Ranma said slowly. "My species is another matter!" The redhead splashed his father as she shouted. He didn't notice Akane twitch angrily, still aware of the various possibilities of what could have happened. The panda and redhead started rapidly exchanging attacks, reducing to growling and punches. ~Hmm, if you were half the man mom is sometimes, you'd stop those stupid comments, jerk!~
"Oh, what a tragedy!" Soun shouted, weeping a river of tears.
"Stop that!" Kasumi shouted angrily, and Ranma was impressed as the magic in the priestess's command washed over him and his father. Immediately the impromptu battle ended.
"You just went too far, Master Saotome!" Kasumi said, gripping the panda's arm.
"Yeah," Nabiki agreed, flatly. "Even for training." She was a lot calmer though, something didn't add up in the story, and she was trying to figure it out. Besides Ranma didn't seem quite as mad about the situation as she should have been.
"What EVER made you do something so dangerous?" Kasumi demanded loudly, the look in her face promising all the divine retribution a priestess of Belldandy could call down. Depsite known as a generally nice group of people, it was generally agreed that actually getting a Verdandi angry was about as intelligent as jumping into a volcano.
The panda hastily dropped a scroll to the ground, and the two elder Tendos were immediately distracted.
"Its a map in Sylvan," Kasumi said.
"Something about 'training grounds,'" Nabiki added. She took a moment to cast a language spell and continued reading. Ranma noted the priestess arching an eyebrow and glancing Ranma's way.
"No wonder," Kasumi said. "You can't read Sylvan, can you?!" Kasumi whirled to accuse the panda. The panda produced a small flag virtually shouting "correct!" to the world. Suddenly Soun appeared with a tea kettle and poured it over his friend.
"So," the other monk said. "When doused with hot water, you return to human form."
"Well, it needn't be quite that hot," Genma protested irritably. Soun ignored him and turned to the small redhead.
"When doused with cold water you become a girl," Soun said indicating Ranma, then tried to pour the same boiling water on her. "But hot water turns you back into a boy!"
"Hot water! Not boiling!" Ranma shouted. ~If I have to switch one more time, I think I might scream.~
"No sweat," Soun declared, a slightly mad look in his eyes as he clapped his hand on the small girl's shoulder. "Your problem isn't so terrible after all!"
"Huh?" Ranma asked. ~Does he know how irritating this going back and forth every few minutes is?~
"My daughter Kasumi. Nineteen. And Nabiki. Seventeen. And Akane. Sixteen," Soun declared, listing off his daughters. "Pick the one you want, she's your fiancee."
~I forgot about that,~ Ranma moaned quietly.
"Oh, he wants Akane!" Kasumi declared in a rare moment of panic.
"Eh?" Akane continued to sit in shock.
"Oh, definitely," Nabiki agreed quickly, for once, her mind had been locked in a state of shock. There was something about this she wasn't seeing yet, best to follow Kasumi's lead and shuffle Ranma towards the youngest of them. If later evidence proved her fears to be ungrounded, well, the agreement was that Ranma would wed a Tendo. It never specified which one.
"You must be joking!" Akane shouted, better aware how to deal with confronting Nabiki than she was confronting Kasumi. "Why would I be..."
"Well," Nabiki said slowly, as if touching on a delicate subject. "You hate men, don't you?"
"So you're in luck!" Kasumi said, grabbing a hold of that thread. "He's half-girl!"
"Me?" Akane said, insulted. "Marry that pervert?! Never!"
"Whaddya mean pervert?!" Ranma demanded.
"You saw me naked, pervert!" Akane reminded him.
"Hold it! You walked in on me!" Ranma retorted.
"Its different when a woman sees a man!" Akane answered, not sounding very logical.
"They're already a perfect couple!" Soun declared.
"We're not a couple," Akane snapped at the old men. "We're fighting! As for you..." Ranma was already leaving when she turned to face him.
"Ah forget it!" Ranma snapped.
"Where are you going, boy?" Genma asked narrowly.
"You know where!" Ranma snapped back. "This ain't no time to be getting married."
"By the way," Ranma turned toward Akane, venting frustration at the sudden loss of his new friend. "You took a pretty good look at me, too. Besides, it ain't like you got anything I don't got, and better besides." It was true, she was just built that way, all the better for survival. Ranma turned her back on the growling priestess and crossed her hands behind her head. Then the table flattened him to the ground.
"Now that he had coming," Genma said sagely. Kasumi and Nabiki looked on in frustration. Kasumi pouring tea onto the ground where a cup used to sit, and Nabiki spilled onto the ground.
******
Ranma crawled into consciousness, blinking her eyes open. Then snapped her head from the pillow underneath it.
"Ah!" Kasumi declared. "She's awake!"
"Oooo," Ranma sighed, gripping his head.
"Are you okay, we healed as much as possible," Kasumi continued. "But you seemed to be resisting it. Please don't think too badly of Akane. She's really a very sweet girl. She's just a violent maniac."
"He should have guessed that from the goddess she follows," Nabiki hmphed.
*******
~Why that...that...that,~ Akane growled as she prepared for her delayed bath. ~Make a fool of me, eh?~ She recalled the "and better besides." comment, not to mention earlier when the jerk had implied women were a different species. ~That...that...man!~
*******
"Owwww!" Ranma moaned irritably. ~It still smarts, Auntie at least has a sense of humor.~ The redhead walked into the changing room outside the hotspring and began to disrobe.
~Friends she says, so much for friends when she found out I can be a man! No way she'd like me as I really am!~ She started for the door to the hot spring when it suddenly slid open revealing a surprised Akane.
Akane suddenly started growling low as Ranma cringed, grabbing a towel to cover herself.
"Uh. Uh. Uh oh," Ranma whimpered.
"Why you..you...you..." Akane stammered angrily. Then the Tendo monastery rang with the sound of a slap.
*******
"So she's got spunk," Ranma's father told his again male child. "That just makes a fiancee cuter."
"But you were both girls, right?!" Nabiki was saying in the next room. "That makes it okay!"
"Okay/Cute is not the word," two voices said together.
"I'm going to go stretch my," Ranma paused. "Legs." He stood up and started walking for the outerwall. Nabiki heard and narrowed her eyes in curiousity.
*******
The last thug dropped to the ground in a drained heap, as Ranma released him. The little redhead sighed as she relished the drained energies of the accumulated thugs. It was always so much easier to get a meal as a woman.
"Don't try any extrenuous activity for a few days," she told the crumpled thugs sweetly. The half-demon stretched her wings out and yawned, revealing a pair of sharpened canines. "That tasted good."
"Well," a new voice added. "Aren't we full of surprises." Nabiki stepped out of hiding as her family's guest took flight into the sky. She glanced at the four bodies, normally masked, sprawled across the alley. She kicked at one of them and, upon recieving no response, reached down to check his pulse.
"Still alive," she said and picked up one of the thugs by the hair. The young thug, his fox mask up over his head, stared off into space with a goofy grin on his face.
"What a kiss," he muttered before Nabiki let his head fall back to the ground.
"How pathetic," Nabiki sighed and looked up into the sky. "Interesting...person."
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