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2001.04.26 i feel happy: -to be near you -to know you -to study with you -to share with you -to eat with you -to play with you -to rest with you -to drive with you -to cry with you -to laugh with you -to smile at you -to lay with you -to wake with you -to like you i'd be happier -to be important to you -to hear you cry -to hear your story -to hear you laugh -to see you smile at me -for you to like me -for you to love me -for you to let me love you -to love you.....
2001.04.07 Pain seems to be the essence of my living it's a key ingredient to the daily recipe of my life Hurt is the habitual feeling in my heart a daily episode in the soap opera of my heartbreak Over and over the sad music plays its mellow record a soundtrack to my story The cycle of hurt so often felt has created a thick skin over my heart Unmoved, untouched, unpenetrable but blue and crying of sorrow inside Crys gone unheard by the naked eye merely ignored, overlooked, and hushed Not comforted, not consoled the crys run quiet and dry The cycle continues unforgiving until the day my life plays its final credits A lineup of names rolling through the screen the names accountable for this melancholy drama.
2001.04.07 Is it possible I'm being deceived By the games I played, the tricks I breathed But cruelly this game is something unique I never went so far, this is the truth I speak I never acted so fake in my days I followed my intuitions then exaggerated my ways But you, you have my heart in your palms You twist it and turn it and agitate the calm You press and you push til it can beat no more I can't speak or breathe, my chest so sore Sore with sorrow, heartbreak, and pain From your deceit, your trickery, from your awful game You've broken my heart into bits, I'm afraid I'll never be able to piece it together the way It's meant to be I'll never be the same Scared and tarnished with tears of shame I held our moments so close, so dear Thinking the whole time that your intentions were clear So wrong, I was, and a price I paid A piece of my heart and my life on the ground I laid You took that away, and did what you wished And now I'm broken, by you I was dismissed You got my hopes up and dropped them fast to the floor But I can't deny that it was you I adored So revel, if you will, in my misery I was taken by you; it's your victory.
Like the dew of the morning slides down each blade of grass I see the salty drops descend from two oceans flooding with sadness Each drop screaming out your pain Stabbing me with guilt and shame For i was not there to comfort you To wipe the drops off your beautifully contoured face. Then there were times when those drops were Equivalent to the bluest flames on earth I watched the resentment emerge From the blazing inferno of hell And release its fury Through your tender saintly face. Tell me what could breed such misery Tell me what kindled this rancor Oh- if only i could see through those eyes Those weary eyes Or merely hear you speak of your tribulations Convey to me your dreams, concerns, your feelings I only desire to support you, to give what i can; My love.
A little boy and girl snuck out one night And sat in the glow of the pale moonlight This seemed not special; a daily routine But tonight the little boy had a scheme With hesitation and nervousness A gentle kiss upon her tender lips By virtue of his newfound love For this angel sent from above Even at this age so young They both knew true love had come They played together as time passed away Until the day she went away For that little bug inside her head Ate away and left her dead His hopes and dreams of their future marriage Was taken away like a sudden miscarriage Time went on but his love-life did not His love for her still burned hot Until the day he waited his whole life for When they could be together once more He knew he was approaching the end of the trail As he watched his body slowly turn frail And then they met again finally His lonely lifetime was worth this eternity
This one's dedicated to my baby: From the momen that I laid eyes on you I knew we were meant to be The feelings in my heart are true You were my destiny. Although we're 100 miles apart When I close my eyes I see The namja who has won my heart I feel your presence close to me. Just a simple thought of you Spreads a smile over my face I can feel your skin so smooth And your kisses I can still taste. Baby, don't you ever go I want you more everyday Let's savor our time and take it slow I'm missing you when you're away.
And this last one is for my best friend. I love you with all my heart. I hope all your boys know that i care for you and don't want to hurt you: Please believe me when I tell you My heart wants you to know Some moments my words come out untrue When my spirits are feeling low. I just didn't know the words to say None could explain these feelings so strong And unfortunately to my dismay Everything came out all wrong. Remember what I told you from the start? Since then nothing has changed I love you dearly with all my heart But right now there's problems that need to be arranged. I thank the loving Lord above For giving me you, my friend Someone i could truly love Until the very end. Things that might've happened between us Is all for a purpose, you'll see Hopefully it'll strengthen our trust And be another good memory. I know with all that's happened lately You may not understand But i treasure your friendship and love greatly My love to you can be replaced by no other man Please just believe one thing I tell you... My love was, is, and will be forever true.
This I wrote after we lost a good friend. Unni, I was hoping this would help make u feel better. When the light is shining down Lighting up the path to lead you home You know it's going to be beautiful No worries, no fears and no more being alone The life we think is being stolen from us Merely a soul departing to finally live But if only we could see it like you do Some comfort and peace of mine it may give I know you try from heaven above Those rays of light are winks of love To let us know everything's ok To get on with living day to day Where you are is great and perfect That's all you deserve, you're so worth it And God knows he saw your life So live it up, enjoy, and we'll see you in The good life.
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