" Attention, this is your captian speaking. Welcome aboard Pretty Boy's Private Jet flight 007 departing from your local terminal to your selected destination of our fine sites. Our flight time today is 69 minutes on the g-spot today with no anticipated delays in our departure time. Skys are blue and clear with wonderful tropical weather expected in Paradise.

Your flight crew today consist of beautiful, sexy, and cute attendants gathered from around the Asian world to serve you. They are eager and willing to serve all of your flying needs today. Ask and you shall receive.

In case of an emergency, life vests are located in your pants. Just take it out and pull on the skinny or fat cord located in the front. Inflation is automatic or you can ask one of our lovely attendants to inflate it manually by blowing on the short short valve for you.

Store all carry-on items in the large storage bins located overhead. We must remind all passengers to keep your seat belts fastened at all times as we are flying high and you could get knocked out of your seat due to positive air turbulence.

However, all adults may smoke, drink, and use the lavatory as much as they want to. Hey, grab a quickie with one of the attendants, we don't care! Go for it today! You're flying first class for once and you deserve it!

Oh and rember all seat back and tray tables are to be in their full upright and locked positions for take off.

From all of us here at Brad's Private Jet, we hope you find your stay with us  both safe and enjoyable. Come fly with us again anytime..."

- Captain Akagi