Disclaimer: If you've read this far into this silly series, there's no need for a disclaimer. ^_~ BTW, this Coffee Break is dedicated to all those little people that read this "series" and comment and like it! Hi, little people!! (No offense to anyone at all!) This Coffee Break introduces a few new characters from my strongest, recent obsession. Be prepared! ^_^
Started: July 2, 2000 / September 16, 2000 / July 29, 2001 (I think I should explain this. You see, this story used to be three different Coffee Breaks, hence the three different starting dates. However, I decided that it'd be for the best if I just used them all to make one better story. ^_^)
Finished: November 8, 2001

The Edge of Sanity, webpage of the ages, was getting to be boring.

So boring, in fact, that it was beginning to die out.

That didn't rest well in the mind of Athena, the regal and proud caretaker of the page.

So she decided to do something about it.

She ordered for MIDIs and pictures to be found and gathered in as little time as possible.

Her faithful staff was eager to please, rushing out and obeying her every word.

And there was tranquility. And there was happiness.

The reader stared at the statements in disgust. "That's the worst crap I've ever heard!" the reader exclaimed. "None of its true!"

Okay, okay, so all of that was stupid. Made you look though, right? That's all that counts, so there!

TEOS had seen better days, that much was true.

Tseng had fallen into some weird parody of the sleeping sickness; he hadn't budged from the Links page for a long time -- months. The other members of the staff feared he was gone -- dead, or perhaps even worst.

. . . And then Vincent Valentine brought up his sleep for twenty-seven years in a coffin.

. . . And the whole staff feared that another Turk would be lost to the clutches of time and sleep.

"Anyone know if Hojo's been snooping around here? Maybe he did something to Tseng," Rufus Shinra said over his daily cup of coffee. For once, the staff (all twelve of them) sat together. Athena was off somewhere and Tseng was. . . Well, no use trying to explain again.

"Why are you suddenly asking?" Reno asked in reply, raising a brow in surprise. "He's been like that for a long time."

"Because Athena's lazy and hasn't written any Coffee Breaks since two Decembers ago," explained Leon Magnus, as if it were the easiest question in the world (and it was people, it was!!). "That's a friggin' long time!"

Reno blinked at the answer, then shook his head. "Whatever. But there's no way Hojo would have gotten in here without us knowing."

"Why's that?" queried Teepo.

The red-haired Turk jerked a thumb at Sephiroth, nearly costing the One-Winged Angel an eyeball. "Sephiroth here's got a built-in Hojo-detector," he said with a grin. "He'd sense Hojo's presence if he were in an area within . . . two hundred feet. . .?"

"Three hundred feet," corrected the silver-haired ex-SOLDIER, lightly removing Reno's thumb from his line of vision. "After being around that weirdo as long as I have, you develop a few things."

Elena scratched the back of her neck in astonishment, forgetting her salad for a moment. "I always thought it had something to do with your Jenova cells. . ."

Sephiroth shook his head. "Nope. Just natural development plus the affects of having Hojo around."

". . . Okay. . ." Nash wasn't quite following the conversation being held.

". . . . Don't worry," intoned Rude, glancing at the teenage mage underneath his black sunglasses. ". . . You're not the only one that's confused."

Gremio stopped playing with Peco to look at his fellow 'employees.' "Weren't we talking about Tseng only a moment ago?" he asked. "I think we should really wake him up."

"Yeah," agreed Flik, who stirred his coffee idly as he spoke. "We're all back from that silly picture-hunt, thank God. Athena's been keeping something from us about those pictures . . . but that's besides the point. She needs to stop with the changes and update! We need a diversion from whatever she's working on so we find out how to wake up Tseng!"

"You know, I hate to agree with him, but he's right," Sephiroth gruffly said, stealing a crouton from Leon's salad and popping it in his mouth. "We've got music now; I think that's enough change. She should be concentrating on more important things -- like updating the library. Then we can get Tseng awake."

"We all agree that she should be working on the page; we don't need to verbally establish what's a known fact." Rufus rolled his eyes and drank his coffee. "What I'd like to hear is some suggestions as to what the diversion should be."

"Well, we never did anything for Athena's birthday," Gremio piped up, tickling Peco and driving a strange giggle from the onion-creature. The other members of the staff stared at the creature as it laughed. "We could give her a very late birthday present."

"Okay, that's a good starting point. . ." Rufus nodded.

"How about a video game? Like Final Fantasy VIII or IX?" suggested Teepo.

"NO!!" the members of FF7 shouted simultaneously.

"There is no way I'd consciously give that girl something involving Seifer Almasy," Rufus said heatedly. "I have enough trouble competing against Leon--" the said teenager smirked and flicked back his hair "-- and Luc and Jess from Suikoden . . . not to mention Dias Flac from Star Ocean 2! Adding Seifer to that list just might crack my remaining sanity! Ugh, do you know how hard it is to stay her favorite character for three years!?"

Teepo sweatdropped. "Okay . . . but Fujin's so cool!!"

Just about all of the staff stared at the purple-haired Brood member. "You like Fujin?" Elena just had to ask.

The teenage Dark Dragon got a dreamy look in his eyes. "She's a woman after my own heart. . . Have you seen her technique?"

"Technique?" Flik asked flatly.

"Yeah! She hits Raijin's shin with such prowess. . .!!" Teepo sighed dreamily then stopped speaking.

". . . Teepo?" Nash leaned over and waved a hand across Teepo's eyes. "Teep? Um, yeah. . ." He let out a sigh of his own and pushed Teepo out of his seat. When Teepo made no reaction, the mage from Lunar had no choice but to sweatdrop.

"What's wrong with FF9, anyway?" Leon queried.

Sephiroth frowned. "Have you seen Kuja, the main villain?"

"Uh . . . no," admitted the black-haired swordsman.

"He's a feminine-looking Sephiroth, I swear," Flik said lowly. "A feminine-looking, talkative Sephiroth that compares life to acting."

Everyone stared at Sephiroth for a long moment, trying to picture that. ". . . That's scary," Nash sighed. "Way too scary to be in Athena's possession."

". . . Besides, Athena has an unhealthy obsession with Vivi, the black mage in the game," Rufus added. "Like I said before, I don't think I could take anymore competition."

"So video games are out," Sephiroth noted, making a mental checklist. "Books?"

Vincent actually spoke, giving Lucrecia's son a sideways glance before speaking. "I don't think you could find a book that would hold her attention for very long. She's been restless with reading long novels lately."

". . . No wonder she threw War and Peace out the window," murmured Rude.

"So what do we give her?" demanded Reno. The Turk had been listening in as he ate, sticking Bugles on each of his fingertips and plucking them off with his teeth.

"How about an inauguration?" suggested Leon.

Rufus looked at the black-haired swordsman oddly. "For what?"

"For the staff," explained Leon. "You know . . . so she can add someone to the staff?"

". . . . . I don't know," Rufus muttered uncomfortably. "She might choose to add Seifer. . ."

Sephiroth was already shaking his head. "I doubt it," he said. "There are tons of sites with Seifer on it already. The best Athena could possibly do is make Seifer a guest."

"There's a ton of sites with us on them," Rufus retorted.

"Yeah, that's true," agreed Sephiroth, "but Athena got us on her site when it was a 'fun and original concept.'"

Leon stared. ". . . There was a time when that was actually true?" The disbelief was almost tangible.

"It was before your time, sadly," Reno replied, patting Leon's shoulder.

The sixteen-year-old's disbelief melted into a frown. He aimed his gaze at Reno. "Don't touch me," he ordered. Reno was quick to comply.

"So is it settled?" asked Flik. "Is that what we're going to do?"

No one spoke up in objection. "Yeah . . . I guess so." Rufus still looked a bit troubled by the very thought. "Come on . . . let's go tell her."

"Really!?? You mean it!?"

"Yes. . ." Rufus looked back at all the other members of the TEOS staff. "We've all agreed that you can. . . But only one person."

"All right!!" Athena threw her arms around the young ex-President of Shinra, hollering all the while. Rufus had a hard time keeping himself from getting strangled. "I have the perfect person in mind!"

"Already?!" The whole staff stood there, aghast.

"Oh, yes!" affirmed the girl, nodding vigorously. "In fact, I've been waiting for you guys to say that I could. Otherwise, I would've come off sounding demanding and mean by adding him without you guys knowing. Smart, huh?"

Her response was the facefaults of just about every member of her staff.

She grinned at them, then shouted off into the darkness. "Okay! You can come out now!"

A familiar figure stepped into view, smirking all the while. "How many of you saw this coming, hmm?" the new member of the staff queried arrogantly.

". . . . . . . . . . . . . Awww, man. . .!!" Reno didn't bother to hide his displeasure. "You?!"

Athena smiled wildly and hugged her chosen. "It was either him or Dias, and I'm sure Rufus and Sephiroth wouldn't have been very excited to see him." The two said men locked gazes and frowned at the thought of the tall, morbid, and blue-haired swordsman joining them. "Besides, I needed someone shorter than me around."

"This isn't good, Athena!" Teepo whined. "Why Leon?"

"Because I'm cool!" replied Leon D.S. Geeste, raising his chin insolently. "And I'm smarter than all you upstarts put together!"

". . . And you're small enough to cram into a ventilation chute and lock up," Reno snapped. "Man, just what I needed -- a little, loudmouthed kitty-cat!"

Vincent and Gremio were immediately on the Turk, Vincent twisting Reno's arm into a painful position while Gremio frowned disapprovingly. "There's no need to call him that, Reno. He's only a child," said the green-cloaked man.

The little Fellpool smirked in triumph behind Vincent and Gremio, pulling down on his eyelid and sticking his tongue out at Reno. No one really noticed this other than Reno, who growled angrily and took a threatening step . . . which earned him a smack in the head from Vincent.

"Awww, dammit!!" whined the red-head, struggling out of the former Turk's grip. "I'm gonna get you, you little brat!!"

Meanwhile, Teepo and Nash were trying to comfort their slightly-younger friend. "Another Leon!" ranted Leon Magnus, pacing angrily and refusing to look at the little blue-haired Star Ocean boy. "This means we're gonna be confused now!" He began to curse up a storm.

". . . . . Well, let's look for an alternative name then!" exclaimed Nash.

Neither of his friends looked impressed in the least.

Athena leafed through her thick pile of stories, frowning. Although she had gotten a suitable gift from her staff, she was still unhappy at the disrepair of her website. One of her three Muses, who had been picked up during her career as a Fanfiction.Net writer, sat down on her bed and watched as she turned on her computer. ". . . So, are you going to write some more?" queried Ken Ichijouji, Chosen Child of Digimon Adventure 02.

"I don't feel like it. I want to work on my website, but it's in such shambles now that I don't know where to start!"

Ken thumbed his chin thoughtfully. "Well, why don't you just start another one, then? A new start would be better than no start at all."

The girl immediately giggled, throwing her arms around the younger boy. "Now I know why I made you my Head Muse! You're so clever!"

"C-- can't breathe. . ."

"We're moving?!?!"

The entire staff looked aghast at the very idea. "Athena, are you serious?" Rufus queried, eyes wide. "Are you sure you're not sick?"

". . . Or was she brainwashed?" Elena waved her hand in front of Athena to make sure she was completely there.

Athena gave the two an annoyed look. "I'm fine! I just don't feel like picking through the mess that the site's fallen through. So I'll improvise!"

No one looked impressed. "So your solution is to start a new page to mess up?" Gremio muttered.

Realizing that nothing was going her way, Athena immediately began the Blame Game. "It was his idea!" She pointed at a very started Ken.

". . . And you listen to a kid that's younger than you?" Rude crossed his arms and shook his head sadly.

"He's one of my Muses!" huffed Athena. "Of course I listen to him."

Leon [Magnus] stared. "Muses? As in . . . there's more?"

"Osamu and Wormmon." Athena snapped her fingers and the two appeared out of thin air. "Osamu is Ken's older brother and Wormmon is Ken's Digimon partner."

It was Reno's turn to begin ranting. "Digimon! You might as well have just brought in Pokemon, Cardcaptors, and Sailor Moon! When'd you get interested in Anime again??"

Ken raised his hand timidly, not quite sure what to make of Athena's perturbed staff. "I think that's my fault," he ventured.

Sephiroth looked at Ken for a long moment before commenting. "Aren't you supposed to be the Digimon Emperor? I thought you'd be a lot more fanatical and evil-looking. . ."

"This kid's supposed to be a bad guy?" Flik blinked. "Villains these days. . . They're nothing like they used to be."

There was a resounding "No kidding" from the former villains in the crowd.

"Will you guys lay off?" Osamu Ichijouji frowned and glared through his black wire-rimmed glasses. "We're just here because Athena said you'd need some help."

The whole staff turned their eyes back to Athena, shocked and offended. Reno opened his mouth again. "You think we, a bunch of powerful guys and a woman . . . with an exception of one--" Leon [Geeste] nearly kicked the Turk in the leg, but was stopped by Rude "-- need two runts and a worm to help us?"

Ken's eyes narrowed, giving the young ex-emperor a suddenly-dangerous appearance. He pulled out his D-3 Digivice and gestured to his partner. "Wormmon, digivolve."

Wormmon nodded. "Wormmon digivolve to . . . Stingmon!"

Reno sweatdropped at the sight of the huge, assassin wasp that loomed over everyone else with glowing red eyes. ". . . I should start running now, shouldn't I?"

Ken smirked wickedly. "Why not? I love a good chase scene."

The red-haired Turk screamed at that and sprinted away, just as Ken leapt on Stingmon's back and took off after him. Osamu watched calmly as Athena and her staff sweatdropped. ". . . Anyone else want to make fun of us?" he queried.

Rufus grinned broadly for the first time in awhile. "I think I'm going to like these kids," he whispered to Sephiroth.

Sephiroth smirked slightly. "I think I am, too."

"Just leave the whole thing!"

". . . Seriously?" Sephiroth and Flik looked at Athena in surprise. "Wow, that's a lot of work we're leaving behind. . ."

The young webmistress rolled her eyes. "I was the one HTMLizing it all; you guys just posted 'em. Anyway, the Guest Fanfics aren't making the move since there's way too many unfinished ones that no one's got any drive to finish. I'll select the authors I want to make the move with."

Flik looked over his former 'domain' with a frown. "Such as. . .?"

"I won't say here. We'll talk about it later, though." Athena marched off towards the Miscellaneous section, dragging the two men with her. Nash, Teepo, and Leon were busy hauling Pocket Bishounen pictures out of its subdirectory, piling them next to Vincent and Elena. The two saved the pictures onto Athena's hard drive and sent them off to Rufus, Gremio, and Rude, who loaded them in a truck that would be heading for Athena's new webspace provider.

Athena noticed her three Muses relaxing some distance away from the work, the two brothers kicked back in lounge chairs and Wormmon contentedly resting on Ken's lap. She marched straight up to them, arms akimbo. "What are you three doing?"

"Oh, you know -- the usual," replied Osamu, waving the older girl off. "Sitting back, making commentary . . . stuff like that."

"Why aren't you guys helping?"

"Because we're not your staff," Ken simply remarked, wearing his Digimon Kaiser shades although there was absolutely no point.

". . . You're still my Muses. You should be working for me."

Wormmon shook his head. "'Not part of our contract. We don't do physical labor."

The teenager made a face at that, tapping his fingers on her hips for a few seconds. ". . . Fine. No physical labor for you three. But you guys are taking care of a whole section on the new page."

"As long as it doesn't involve us carrying heavy things, we have no problem with what you have us do," shrugged Osamu.

"I'm gonna make you eat those words, Osamu; just you watch."

With that said, Athena turned heel and hurried back to her staff. The eldest of the three Muses turned to the other two. ". . . She can't actually do that, can she?"

"Actually, she could," the younger Ichijouji muttered. "She does have a printer."

"Look upon your new home, crew! The Edge of Sanity, version 2.0!"

Everyone simply stared at the whiteness, not at all impressed. ". . . Athena, this is crazy," Sephiroth stated in a last attempt to change the girl's mind. "We should be focusing on more important things, like waking Tseng up!"

Athena snapped her fingers, and the leader of the Turks awoke on the cot Rude and Reno had been dragging behind them. "Ugh, I have the world's largest hangover. . .," mumbled the long-haired man, trying to sit up but failing miserably. The staff looked hard at the awoken Turk, then glared vehemently at their webmistress.

"You could've done that this whole time and you never told us!?!?"

The sixteen-year-old shrugged. "None of you ever asked. You just kept coming up with ideas as to why he wasn't waking up."

Elena reached over to strangle the girl, but was restrained by Rufus and Gremio. "Kill her off and you'll fade away from all thought," Gremio warned. "Final Fantasy VII isn't as big of a hype as it was in years past."

Grinning, Athena ran ahead and leapt into her new webpage. "Ten megabytes, no ad banners, and no threats of big corporations stealing my ideas! Get ready, people, 'cuz we're back!"

No one looked half as enthusiastic, carrying their belongings into the whiteness. Noticing this, Ken decided to state the not-so-obvious. "You do all realize that, by having a new website, you can add to your own pages, right?"

Flik immediately brightened. "A stereo system in the library! And a refrigerator so we never have to go to the cafeteria!"

"My own computer so I can chat with Fujin online!" Teepo gasped.

". . . Teep, you're already online," Nash muttered.

Teepo continued to look wistful as the staff began chattering, suddenly excited to begin anew. And Athena appeared and caught her Head Muse in a hug again, happy that another crisis had been successfully diverted.

"We're back, world! Better than ever, brighter than ever, and with more potential for humor than ever before!"

And the Goddess looked upon it, and all was good.