"Really? Oh my god!!" He falls back against the couch, laughing hysterically. "Man, even from you, that's unbelievable!"
I'm annoyed by his over-reaction, and answer super-calmly as I light another cigarette. Already, the small room has taken on a smoky atmosphere. "Yeah, well, I just wanted to _try_ it once, you know, to see what it was like..."
"But sleeping with a _guy_?! Wow, if it was anyone but you..." He giggles delightedly, reaching forward to pour himself another drink.
"Well, look, he wanted to, and I thought it wouldn't hurt once .... I always wanted to know how the girl felt..."
"Who was it? Another member?"
'I'm not telling."
'That means yes!!" He's laughing hysterically again, and almost falls off the couch.
He's a hell of a lot drunker than I am. Impatient, I dispense with the shot glass all together and begin to skull from the bottle.
When l'm drunk, I'm not quite like most people. The logical part of my brain doesn't shut off altogether but rather steps back, observing what I do but not making any effort to change it. For this reason, I can always remember everything I do when I'm drunk. I just can't remember why.
For instance, getting into a big 'truth-telling' session with the man now laughing his head off
at my expense.
"So how did it feel?"
I shrug. "In some ways better, in some ways worse." I pause, deciding whether to disperse any more information to him. I decide he's too drunk to remember anyway. "It hurt a bit....but I guess it's like that the first time for girls as well..."
"And the guy? What was it like with him afterwards?"
I sigh, really wishing I hadn't told him now. It's beginning to sound like some warped sort of counseling session. "I don't know...the same. I haven't talked to him in ages though...."
His eyes light up and he sits up straight, excited. "I know! I guessed who it was!!"
"Who..."
He mouths the name and I nod eventually. He squeals with delight and falls backwards once again on the couch.
I finally decide it's easier just to stop being so annoyed and laugh along with him. It's a lot easier to do so when you're drunk.
He sighs contentedly and leans forward, trying to get a cigarette, but the light in the room is dim and he can't seem to make the lighter meet the end. Annoyed at his fumbling hands, I give him mine. He smiles adorably and falls back on his side, half-snuggling into the soft material of the couch. "I know what you mean though ...." he says softly. "You know the problem with this profession?"
"What?" I'm pouring myself yet another glass.
"You know, you have so many women piling up everywhere, all so willing... after a while you just don't value them any more...you take them for granted, and want something different...."
I nod as I take a sip. I can definitely see his point.
"Wanna try it?"
I spit out the mouthful of liquid I was about to swallow. "Uh....WHAT?!?"
He sits up from his couch and stumbles over to me. The distance would have been less than two metres but he manages to fall over anyway. He sits next to me and grins. "You tried it once...why not again?"
"Once was enough!!" I'm trying to wipe the liquid I'd spat out off my face.
"But you made me curious......and I don't want any guy but you, cos you're the only guy I know who's so cute...." He reaches out to pinch my cheek. Laughing, I push it away. He drapes his arms around me. Although I playfully push him away, in reality the warmth of another's skin feels wonderful in my drunken state. I try to push the feeling down.
"You're so cold to me tonight...." he says so melodramatically I can't help but laugh. Lovingly he wraps his arms around me from many different angles, kissing my face. Now I've caught his habit of giggling hysterically. I'm letting him because admittedly, we've done a lot more than this when we've been drunk before.
The warmth of his skin is delicious against mine, which is longing for any sort of contact. I pull him closer and giggling we fall back on the couch.
We just lay there for a second. Feels so good...is all I can think. But I still think it is over, we've never gone further than this before. "Mm...I'm sleepy...." I turn my head away from him, sinking my head into the soft pillow of the couch. His weight pressing down on me is not heavy enough to be uncomfortable.
"Hey, we haven't even started yet!"
"What? You're not _still_ wanting that, are you? For the last time, I'm not being your girl for you!" I begin to sit up.
In response he takes my hand, which he's been holding as we were lying down, and brings it towards himself.
I can't believe where he rests it.
Looking up at my shocked face, he laughs happily. I pull my hand away quickly, so quickly I lose my balance and fall off the edge of the couch, pulling him with me.
"Ok, enough!" I pull away, kicking my feet when he tries to come near. My hand feels sensitive, as if it's still in contact with him. I wipe it on the carpet, as if it's dirty.
He's laughing at me. I look at him kneeling on the carpet, one hand playing with the ragged strands of his hair. He stops and looks at me intensively, his eyes unreadable. As I watch, a slight smile begins to play on his lips.
"What are you planning?" I ask because his face, only half-visible in the darkness, looks so much like he's scheming something. He just shakes his head. With an uneasy smile, I pour myself yet another drink.
As I swallow it I lean back onto the bottom of the couch. Or at least, try to. I misjudge the distance and end up on my back. At the sudden movement the darkness of the room seems oppressive, and the ground tilts crazily under me.
Suddenly terrified, I reach out to grab something.
The next thing he's holding me. "Ne, don't drink too much man!"
"You're_ telling me that? You should see yourself..." I giggle, relieved.
He laughs back and pours another drink. I grab it off him before he can drink it and bring it to my lips. But before I can swallow he presses his mouth against mine, sucking it out of my mouth.
I try to push him off and we end up as a squirming, vaguely fighting mess on the ground.
I finally lock my fingers deep into the mop of pink hair, wrenching his head off mine.
Although I'm meant to be angry the hysteria is rising up inside me and I almost can't stop laughing as I speak. "Look, I know you're too drunk to see well but I'm NOT a girl..."
"I don't care..." Suddenly he pushes me backwards, taking advantage of my distorted sense of balance. He undoes my shirt. "I just want flesh....you know when I'm drunk I get so horny....."
My neck is sore from craning upwards and I rest it back on the rough carpet. I feel his breath, faint and ticklish, around the bottom of my ribcage. "Uh ..... that tickles..." My whole body begins to feel strangely warm in the already-hot room. Suddenly I feel wet contact as he runs his tongue over the skin. Just over a small area of flesh, moving frustratingly slowly. Then faster, he moves it up my chest, over the nipple and up towards my shoulder.
"Uhhh..." The sound, slipping out of my lips, brings me suddenly out of my dream-like state. My chest feels wet from the contact. Trust him to use such....intimate methods right at the beginning. None of the girls I'd ever slept with had ever been that....forward....
His tongue moves against my neck, brushing against the bottom of my hair. "You know, it would be better if you still had long hair...." he mumbles.
Suddenly, a thought comes to me. I grin suddenly, and he looks up, alerted by the movement in my neck muscles.
"What?"
"Why am _I_ being the girl? You know, the whole point of this is so you can try something new, and I've already _done_ this. Let me try the other way."
He looks thoughtful for a second. I take advantage of the situation and suddenly pull myself on top so I'm pinning him down. In one second I'm sitting on top of his legs, pushing down his shoulders. "How does this feel?"
"Uh....just do something...."
What the hell do I do?
I don't even love this person, at least not in _that_ way, so it won't come naturally. Now I've got myself into an even deeper situation than usual. I decide I need at least to get his shirt off, and reach my hands under it, pushing it upwards over his ribcage. He begins to giggle, tossing his head from side to side as he tries to push my hands away.
'That tickles SO much!!" I push the shirt upwards more and he finally lifts his arms up so I can pull it over his head. I fall forward onto him, and the sensation of the warm, smooth skin against mine is what finally pulls me over the edge as I lose my sensation of.....anything. Anything but this one particular person.
As we lie on the ground giggling his arms wrap around me tight, pulling off the last of my shirt as his hands slip lower and lower. Wanting to drag my attention away from that, I kiss his neck, then his ear. My tongue brushes lightly against the silver earrings he's wearing, then up towards his face.
"Mmm...."
I'm almost saying "See, I can be more perverted than even you." It's become almost a competition. I feel I'm winning because his skin has become very hot under mine. In fact, the whole room suddenly seems to have increased in temperature greatly.
He reaches one hand up suddenly to pull my head so my ear's against his mouth. "Nee .... pants..." he whispers. Then before I can move, a wetness. I pull away and see him, his tongue slightly out the comer of his mouth, an evil smile on his rice. God, now he's winning again. I wrench myself out of the strong grip, so I'm once again sitting on his legs. He's just wearing tracksuit pants so I can push them down easily. But I pause, my hands at his waist.
"... What are you waiting for?"
His chest, now heaving up and down slightly, is so skinny I can see the individual ribs sticking out under the skin. I consider asking him how small his waist is, to see if it can rival mine, but I get the feeling it's not quite the appropriate time. His whole body, and his face, are covered with a light sweat. I realize I'm sweating as well.
He groans, his hips moving under mine almost pleadingly. "Hurry up..."
Finally I stop the torture, pushing my hands down over his hips, and taking the pants down with them. He kicks the rest of them off and then looks up at me, his tongue again slipping half out of his mouth.
I move my hand towards the part of him I've just exposed, touching it gently. He groans slightly, arching his head back.
Now I'm winning again. I run both hands along it, then dig my nails in lightly.
I get the effect I want. "Ah....please...." Finally, he's at my mercy.
Groaning, his hips moving under mine, he reaches out for me, and I fall forward into his arms. Our faces once again close, I smile at him, and he smiles back, with considerable difficulty. Understandable, because of the distraction of one of my hand, which has not moved from its previous spot.
"Uh..." He gasps my name, his eyes cloudy and distant, his face covered with sweat. "I think I'm going to..ah..."
I smile down at him, using my other hand to stroke his face, cupping his cheek in my palm. I'm so happy... I've won already. Lovingly, I stroke his lips gently with my thumb, the warm softness a direct contrast to the hardness in my other hand.
"Aaa......ha....." He pulls his head backwards, his eyes focused somewhere on the ceiling, and the next second I feel the liquid that covers my hand and stomach.
"Ohhh...." He groans softly, relaxing back from his arched position. I feel the body slacken under mine, but his arms continue to hold me tight. I pull my hand out from its awkward position between our bodies.
"..Is that enough?" I ask, knowing that it's not. Not for me, anyway. The gradual heat that has been building up inside of me still has found no release.
He doesn't reply, just simply focuses his eyes back on mine, gazing at me intensely. He smiles, that slightly crazy-looking smile that on him looks so beautiful. "Man, I love you!!" And he kisses me again. I kiss him back. My body moves against his and I become increasingly aware of the desire that has taken me over, now focused around one particular area of my body. I need release now. I try to remember what that other guy did to me so long ago. Could I do that?
I finally break the kisses, and he looks at me, his lips wet with my saliva. "Ne, what do you do now?" he gasps. The gentle movements of his hips against mine start again. It's driving me crazy.
"Well, I have to - you know - if you really want to be the girl..." I have to gasp it out as well, because the need is beginning to fill up head, making it cloudy and hard to speak.
"Just do it... do anything .... "
I try to move his legs to get his into the right position. As he rubs against me he groans, his beautiful voice ringing in my ears. I smile at him, the warm feelings of love and happiness building up inside me even below the overpowering desire. He grins back as his arms and legs wrap around my body.
I'm using my hands to push his legs up more, and his arms are squeezing me so tight it hurts. "Can I do this..." I mumble to myself. Finally, overcome by the need in my body which has taken over everything, I do it. "Aaahh .... "
"Uh!!" He groans, his face contorted in pain. "Ahh...that hurts.."
"Mn... I told you.."
I have my head resting somewhere around his neck area, and can feel as he stretches his neck back, gritting his teeth. It seems to really be hurting him. But I look up and see him open his eyes slowly, and can tell by the deep, regular breathing how much he's enjoying it. Enjoying the pain.
"Ahh..." I wrap my arms tighter, feeling the wet skin against mine as the movements grow faster and faster. His breathing becomes deeper, more irregular. I feel I can't hold him tight enough, even when my nails are digging into his skin and I'm almost breaking his ribs.
The desire in me is not quenched but instead grows, moving my hips harder, faster against his. There's the familiar feeling I've had with only some girls, where all my senses seem to expand to the point of exploding. I'm looking down at his face, and suddenly realize how much I love this guy. I kiss him lightly, again and again.
"Ah....ah!....I'm sort of glad...I'm not...a girl...." I feel his nails are also digging into my skin deeply.
"I'm sorry...I'm not that good at this..."
"No....it's good....Ah..."
"I love you." I wrap my arms around even tighter this time, feeling the damp hair between my fingers, laying my cheek against his.
"Mmm ...." In the next second, I can't speak either.
It gets faster and faster, and I know the end is coming.
He calls my name again and again, as everything explodes.

"Mm..." He makes the small sound as I pull out of him. His body is limp. Mine feels weak too, the way you feel if you've been under water for too long and your body lacks oxygen. I just lie there, holding him, running my fingers through the beautiful soft hair.
"So... what was that like?"
His voice comes back softly against my shoulder. "Well....I've done it before..."
I pull back sharply. "WHAT?"
He smiles weakly. "Not that far, but..."
"You said you hadn't done it!"
"No I didn't.... "
"What...who with? Not....another member?"
He only grins further, and rests his exhausted head back against my chest, closing his eyes.
He won. Alter all that, he won. I can't believe it.
After a while, the irregular breaths even out, and he falls into a deep sleep.

I lie for a moment, considering whether or not to ignore the shrill sound. Last night's events are beginning to drift into my head. I push them out, deciding to deal with them later, after I've answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hi....it's me..."
Ah. That voice. Now I have to deal with them now after all. I sit up, feeling a faint pain in my head. "Oh... how are you?"
Last night I ended up calling his house, and the girl that had answered the phone had come and taken him home. She had been beautiful.
"I'm fine.... It's just, I don't remember anything...." He sounds so different, a lot less cheeky, almost guilty-sounding now. "It's just, if I did anything stupid, I want to apologize."
I can't help but smile. He must remember something, just faintly, and he doesn't know if it's a dream or reality. He's too embarrassed to ask me directly.
I decide to take the easier path. "Well, I don't remember much either....."
He sounds so relieved, I can almost hear him smiling.
I'm happy to keep it like this, but I know deep down, we both know.....

Only a couple of weeks later, he calls and asks me to pick him up from his studio, because apparently he's bored. Having not seen him since that night, I want to talk to him again so I agree.
He gets into the car, hugs me, and settles into his seat. "Where do you want to go?"
"I thought I was taking you home."
'That's boring. Let's go somewhere first."
"Ok then." I start the car. 'Where?"
"I don't know, anywhere is good..." He smiles wickedly at me, making the offer.
"Ok then." Anywhere is good.
The knowledge is there between us, there's no need for words.
This is going to be fun, I think, and return the smile.
 

Ah, sorry!
Well you have no way to prove I wrote that!
Well, I knew I wasn't any good at writing ones with no plot. It's just that my other one at this rate will probably never get finished (It's 62 pages already and only two thirds of the way through...) because I'm too damn busy. So.....this one sucked. I'm sorry. I'm only good at writing plots. The only novelty is seeing if anyone can guess the couple....