Once upon a time there was a pink-haired demon named sugizo. He lived in an evil castle on a mountain far away from everything else.
Sugizo was in love with a princess called Hyde. But, Hyde did not live him. So, he spent a lot of time in his laboratory, trying to concuct a potion that would make her love him.
One day, he was working away when some guy who also lived in the castle, Ryuichi, came in.
Ryuichi saw that Sugizo was experimenting on a weird pink liquid which was bubbling in a test tube.
“Sugi, is that your love potion? You don’t need a love potion for anyone, I love you!!”
“Shut up, monkey!” Sugizo shoved him out of the way.
Ryuichi began to cry and walked out. He decided that he wanted Sugizo to love him. So, he decided to try and become as possible so Sugizo can’t resist him. So, he decided to grow his hair.

Two years later, Ryuichi’s hair is still growing very slowly. After all this time it’s only down to his shoulders! But, he still looks very beautiful (Ryuichi with this hair is so kawaii!!) and thinks he’s really good.
Ryuichi was doing what he does for a long time everyday, which is looking at himself in the mirror, brushing his hair, putting on his makeup, etc…
“Hmm, I am so beautiful! Maybe my eyebrows are starting to grow back normally, Better make another appointment at the beauty therapist...”
All of a sudden Sugi comes in, and Ryu as usual totally changed!
“Hey monkey, I have finally perfected my love potion! But now it’s a special tablet. I have to go and give it to Hyde now! I still love her, even though she cut her hair and dyed blonde...”
Ryuichi began to cry, “Why do you still love her? I am so beautiful, look at my beautiful hair!”
“I said shut up, monkey! You look like a monkey!”
Ryuichi got angry. “That’s enough! I‘m sick of you! I’m going out with the demon that lives next door…J!!!”
So he walked out and went to J’s castle. And Sugizo unfolded his demon wings and flew to the nearest town to find Hyde…

In the bar of the town, hyde was sitting with her best friend Ken, drinking. The other princess, Mana, and her friend Gackt were also at the table with them. They were already half-drunk. Sugizo quickly hid his wings (and tail!) and went over to the bar.
Then, when Ken went over to order the drinks, and was busy chatting up the female bartender, he slipped the tablet into what he thought was Hyde’s drink.
But, Sugizo had made a mistake in his calculations, and although he thought hyde would automatically fall in love with him, in reality the tablet would make the person fall in love with who gave it to him… And ken went back to the table and gave the drink to Gackt…

After that, Gackt fell asleep very quickly, and hyde and Ken took him back to Ken’s house, while Mana went home to get her beauty sleep. They tried to wake him up, but he wouldn’t. So they decided to leave him on ken’s couch, and hyde went home.
Ken didn’t mind Gackt staying over, he was already good friends with him because several times Mana and Gackt had double dated with Ken and Sakura. But now… Mana is going out with Sakura!!! So Ken is lonely.
Gackt still didn’t wake up, so Ken decided to go upstairs and…have a bath…
 

Sugi met hyde on her way home.
“Hello hyde!”
“Hello Sugi.”
“…”
“What?”
“Aren’t you in love with me?”
“No…”
“Oh no! My plan failed! So who do you love? Tetsu? Ken? J?”
“No, it’s…its…”
“Who? Gackt? Sakura?”
“No, it’s …it’s …YUKI!”
Sugi collapsed on the ground twitching. Then he said, “Ok. I’ll have to go to plan B.”
And he unfolded his demon wings and flew off laughing evilly

Ken got into his bath and put in strawberry-flavoured bath salts.
“Aah, this nice.”
All of a sudden he heard a noise.
“Ke…ken…” He heard, and the door opened! He looked around and saw…
 

THE PIXIE!!!!!!
“Aaarghh!” Ken screamed. But he was still a bit drunk and what he saw was only an illusion. It was actually…
GACKT!!!
“Ken! I love you! Please let me have a bath with you!!”
“What? Just because mana has taken sakura, doesn’t mean… hey, get out! There’s no room!”
“That’s a good thing!”
“Oh, man, what has happened to you? I bet that demon Sugi is behind this…”
Suddenly, Gackt remembered the LOVE POWDER he’d had in his pocket to give to Mana. But now it was all wet, and mixed with the water and spreading all through the bath!
“Gackt, I like you as a friend but… Ah! What’s happening…Suddenly, I, too, love you!”
“Good!”
“Even though you copy hyde”
“Well, he IS my idol you know”
“Oh well, let’s ‘discuss world politics’ now…”
Sugi is hovering outside the window spying on them. “Now I’ve done it…”
“Oh, Ken!”
“Oh, Gackt! Kiss me! Gackt…”
“Ken, Ken…”
“Now I’ve REALLY done it…”
“Ken…”
“Ah, Gackt! Don’t push me under water! I’ll drown!”
“Ok, shall we sit up then?”
“I’m getting out of here…”
And Sugi flew home.

Sugi now planned to kidnap hyde and take her to the castle. There, she will finally realise how beautiful he is and fall in love with him! Also, he can kill two birds with one stone by forcibly dying her hair.
He used his magical powers to find out where hyde is. To his surprise, he finds she is at… Yuki’s house!”
“Oh, no…” Sugi has to go and kidnap hyde before anything can happen…

Unfortunately, Ryu has been kicked out of J’s castle because J is already married to Inoran! He was very sad as he trudged along the path outside the castle. It was getting increasing hard to keep up his incredibly high self-image of himself when everyone kept treating him like this…

“Yuki, I love you…”
“Um, I love you too hyde…” Yuki was backing away.
“Yes, but I want to express my love in more… physical ways!” Hyde grabbed the poor defenseless Yuki.
“Help!!”
Sugi burst through the window in a super-cool way and grabbed hyde.
“Hey!!” Sugi hit hyde on the head and he fell to the ground unconscious.
“My hero!!” Yuki gazed at Sugi with stars in his eyes…
“Oh, it was nothing…” Sugi leapt out the window carrying the unconscious hyde
“Hey, what about my window…”

Hyde slowly woke up and found that he was tied to a chair “Man, I’m gonna kill that Sugi…” he thought, angry at him for interrupting him and Yuki.
Sugi entered the room with a concerned expression on his face…
Hyde looked at him “What’s wrong?”
“Well…um…I…um…you…”
“What? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?”
“Well… um… I tried to dye your hair, but…um.. I guess it was too light for the dye I used..”
“WHAT? What colour is it?”
Sugizo picked up a mirror and showed him.
“Aaarghh!!! It’s BRIGHT RED you moron! What have you done?”
“I meant it to be brown, but…”
“I was perfectly happy with blonde! Now I’m a freak! I can’t be with you now, pink and red will clash…”
Sugi looked very upset. “I’m sorry… I’ll try to change it…”
“You’re saying there’s no black hair dye anywhere in this castle?”
“Well, no! My hair is black already, don’t need dye, lah! And it’s too far to go and buy some…” Sugi held out a drink. “Here, drink this. It will make you feel better.”
“No! It’s probably got some love potion in there!!”
Damn, there goes plan C, Sugi thought.

“Oh damn! I got the short straw!” Ken said.
“Hahaha!” Now they are both in the bathroom after they got out of the bath when the water got too dirty and are just wearing bathrobes, and they are deciding who will be on top.
“Well, ken, it means you have to be the girl then!”  Gackt said with an evil laugh. “Don’t worry, I have a lot of practice on Ma—hang on, I didn’t say that!”
“Yes, I have practice too, on Sa—umm…yeah…” So they go to the bedroom.
 A little pink haired angel is flying past the window when he hears strange noises coming from the house.
He looks in the window “Aaaargh!! I’m a nice angel, I shouldn’t have seen some thing like this!!” The angel watches for a few more minutes. “This is getting worse! I almost remember something like this from one of my past incarnations…oh wow! That’s disgusting! How can that tall guy _DO_ that?”
Then the shorter guy like that looked up, and he had to fly away quickly…

Ryuichi walked along the road for a long way, until he reached a little house…
He went and knocked on the door “I’m so good-looking, whoever it is will be happy to receive me…”
A cute little boy with blonde hair opened the door. “Hello!”
“Hello, little boy, can I stay here?”
“Sure! Me and my friend Takuya will be so happy to have company…”
“Takuya…no, it can’t be…Sugizo’s failed younger cousin?”
“Oh, his cousin The Evil One? You know him?”
“Yes, he is my ex…”
“Well, you can stay, as long as you’re not still holding any of his evilness..”
So Ryuichi was very happy, and went inside
“Takuya!” the boy yelled
A cute boy with long pink hair floated around the corner. “Aaah! It’s that monkey form the evil castle! Jiro, how could you let him in?”
“But he’s a nice monkey!”
“Hey! I AM NOT A MONKEY! I am a beautiful girl!”
“Well, his hair is not the ‘evil colour’, so I guess he could be nice…”
“Yay!!” Jiro jumped up and down in happiness
“What do you guys do here, anyway?”
 “Well…Takuya is a demon, so he…makes love potions!!”
“Aaargh!!” Ryuichi fell on the ground twitching. “Ah… hang on…maybe I can use that to get Sugi to love me!!”
 “But…you see, I am a failed demon…so my potions sometimes don’t work…”
“Oh that’s ok! Sugi’s don’t work either.”
‘But these ones are worse… I can only make them so they have to be injected into the person…”
“Injected?!! How the hell am I gonna convince him to let me do that?” Ryu yelled angrily.
Takuya flew away and cowered in the corner. “Don’t hurt me! I’m a nice demon…”
“Grrr…stupid failed demon…” Ryuichi mumbled

“Hello, my love, are you awake already? Ken gave Gackt a drink
Gackt sat twitching. “Oh god…now I’ve done it…this is worse than last time…”
“What’s wrong?”
“Grr…help me…ARGH! WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES!?”
“In the bathroom, I think”
“Argh…not ken this time…last time it was J… damn that Sugi! I’m gonna kill him.”
“Relax, Gackt… are you tired from last night? You should be…hehehe…”
“AARGH! Now what have I done? I can’t remember anything… damn Sugi _could_ make a love potion that works for more than 12 hours…but NO, oh NO…”
So ken starts to “hug” Gackt, and Gackt has no clothes on and he’s very embarrassed. So he tried to struggle away and gets the phone on Ken’s bedside table…
“Hello, tetsu?? Arrgh…help me! Come to Ken’s house please…”
“Kiss me Gackt…”
“Please, hurry! He’s crazy…”
Tetsu is very worried (because he love ken) so he decides to come right over…

“Hmmm…” Yuki looks at the address in his hand “This looks like the place where that spunky demon lives…maybe I can get to talk to him again…”
He was just about too knock on the large, foreboding gates when somebody suddenly shoved him from behind.
“Aargh! What are you doing?” He yelled angrily
“Shut up, pixie! The question is, what are you planning to do with my Sugizo?!”
“Pixie? Rather a pixie than a monkey!!”
“Shut up! I’m a pretty girl! Sugi is mine!!”
Somebody opens the door to see what all the noise is just as Ryuichi leaps on Yukihiro.
The servant looks at them in blank surprise.
Ryuichi quickly got off Yukihiro “I’ve come to…uh…see Sugizo…hahaha… that’s right… ahaha he’ll never know the truth…”
The servant, Shinya, looked at him while he mumbled to himself, and then let them in. Ryuichi was laughing evilly and trying to conceal something behind his back.
“I think sugizo is asleep right now…” He led them upstairs.
“Sugi-cha~~~~~~n!!!! I’m back—AAARRGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sugi, how could you do this to me?”
Yuki came in “Aaargh! It’s that perverted freak monster!”
“Aah, Ryu!”
“Yuki!! Um…it’s not what it looks like!!!”
“Sugi! Having a bath with someone besides me! How could you?” Ryuichi began to cry. Hyde was trying to deny everything so Yuki wouldn’t leave him. “We’re not having a bath! Ummm… well, we are…but…sugi was just trying to wash the hair dye out.”
Sugi & Hyde were in the bath together, and sugi was washing his hair. But, the dye wasn’t coming out!
Ryuichi was still crying. He went over to the bath and tried to yank Sugi out.
“Don’t touch me, you dirty monkey!”
Ryuichi was so upset he gained superhuman strength and pulled sugi right out of the bath!
Yuki looked at sugi with lovehearts in his eyes “ah, KAKKO I~~~~~~~~!!”

“Aaah!” Sugi went red “I’ll kill you, monkey!” As he jumped up to kill Ryuichi, he suddenly pulled out his mystery object and plunged it into sugi’s arm…

“Aaah!! My arm! My…” suddenly Sugizo collapsed.
Hyde looked at Ryuichi with love-heart eyes. “Thank you!! You saved me!” Hmm, it’s a shame he looks like a monkey, he thought.
Suddenly Sugi woke up. The first person who came into his vision was………..
YUKIHIRO!
“Yuki! I love you…mon amour…je te veux…”
“At last you return my love!”
“Um, Sugi…….”
“What?”
“Maybe you should, um,  put some clothes on…”
“AAARGHH! I only want Yuki to see my beautiful, sexy body, not that weird monkey guy…” He jumped into the bath.
Ryu began to cry. “Stupid love potion…damn failed demon…”
 

Tetsu crashed through Ken’s bedroom window…
“Aaah!” Gackt, who was being ‘assaulted’ by Ken, now was trying to dodge bits of flying glass.
“Ken-chan! What are you doing?” Tetsu began to cry.
“Ah…tetsu….ehe…um…” Ken got off Gackt. “It’s not what it looks like…don’t cry!!” Suddenly he notices “My window!!”
“Shut up! I thought you loved me!!”
“Aah…I do…but …Gackt…I love him too…oh don’t cry, be a nice angel..”
While this is happening, Gackt is trying to sneak out the door
“Aa, Gaku-chan! Where are you going, my love?” Ken grabs him
“Damn, this isn’t working…now I’ve just upset tetsu. Ok, time for plan B…”

Princess Mana’s servant Kozi knocks on the door to the chamber. “Ah, Mana-sama, there’s a phone call for you.”
Mana opens the door to let kozi in and he falls down twitching.
“Mana-sama! Aargh…should a princess really go around wearing an outfit like that?”
Mana is wearing the outfit she wears in S-Conscious and illuminati on that Merveilles video.
“What are you doing--?”
“Hurry up! This is an emergency!!!” shouts the voice from the phone.
“Shut up!!!!” Mana yelled into the phone. Then she said to kozi “Me and sakura were just um…just…um…you know….ummm…you know…”
“Where is sakura?”
“Oh, he’s chained to the--- Hang on! No he’s not! I didn’t say that! Get out!!”
“But…”
“Get out, you worthless servant! Is my love potion ready yet?”
“No, but Mana, sakura already loves you…”
“Shut up! If  I want a love potion, you make me one! Is that clear?”
Mana raises her whip. Kozi ran out the door quickly, mumbling something about the ‘crazy beastwoman’.
Mana was just about to go back to what she’d been doing, but then she remembered the phone.
“Hello?”
“Grrr…why the hell did you take so long…”
“Shut up!!! If that’s all, I’m going! I have better things to do…”
 “Nonono! Don’t go, Mana-hime my love! I need your help! I’m being, um, attacked by ken! And tetsu isn’t helping, he’s just sitting there crying”
“So you want me to help you?”
“Yes! Can you get some sort of ‘reverse love potion’ so he’ll fall out of love with me? He’s crazy!”
“And what will I get in return?”
“Um..well…” Gackt couldn’t think of anything. “I’ll get you a new skirt…and makeup…and a monthly subscription to “SM” magazine! And, I’ll let you borrow my boots…”
“Yeah! I love those boots! Ok, I’ll be there in an hour…”
“An hour?! But… you don’t understand…I’m trying to fight off…” But Mana had already hung up. Now she walks into the “other room” and closes the door.
“Tsuzukeyou ka…..”
 
 

Tetsu was playing with Ken’s remote control car downstairs when mana came in.
“Hi, weird angel-thing-that-likes-ken guy. Where is Gackt?”
“Umm, he’s upstairs with ken I think…tell ken he’s dumped!!”
“Ok then…” Mana went up the stairs. As she approached the top she heard blood-curdling screams…
“Aah…that sound like Gackt!” (how does she know what he sounds like when he screams like that? ^_^;;; )
There’s no one in the bedroom, but the sounds are coming from…the bathroom…

Meanwhile, in another bath somewhere…
Sugi and Yuki are ‘discussing world politics’.
“The bath water is getting cold…” said Yuki. After all, it had been a long time…
“Hahahaha…well let’s make it warm again…”
“But it’s all dirty!” (YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
“Hmm. You’re right. Let’s go to the bedroom…but one more time first?”
“Ok!”

Outside, hyde and Shinya are trying to calm down ryu. Finally Shinya gave him some bananas. So he calmed down a little bit.
While Shinya went off to get him some banana cake and banana flavoured ice cream, Ryu said to hyde “Don’t you have anyone you love?”
“Yes…but he doesn’t love me, especially since I have this hair…”
“How do you know he doesn’t love you?”
“Because he never talks to me… and even if he did love me, his girlfriend won’t let him out of the house….and before she was his girlfriend, he went out with Ken”
“Oh no! Is his girlfriend that crazy beastwoman, mana-hime?”
“Yes”
“Ahh! The beastwoman! That’s even worse than a pixie!”
Suddenly the noises from inside increased in volume. Ryuichi began to cry again.
“Hmm, that demon is really mean…so mean to this monkey guy…”Thought princess Hyde
“Maybe I’ll get Mana to ‘punish’ him…”
“Eh? Mana? No!! I’m scared of her! She called me a dirty monkey!”
“Yes, but she’s my sister! I can tell her to make Sugi love you…”
“Your SISTER? You’re related to the beastwoman? Aaah!!!” Ryu ran away, but then he saw Shinya and grabbed his food and began eating it happily.
“Stupid monkey.”
Hyde tried to ring Mana on her phone but there was no answer, so she decided to go home and left Ryuichi alone eating his bananas…
 
 

Hyde reached her castle where the royal family lived (the parents are Queen Yoshiki and King Toshi). He went to Mana’s part of the castle but she wasn’t there. He was about to leave when he heard yelling.
He followed the sound and went into mana's “SM room”
“Aah! Saku-chan!! Why are you here? Where’s mana?”
“She went out and didn’t unlock me! She’s crazy! I’ve been here for THREE DAYS!!!”
“What have you been doing?”
“Umm…er…well…ah…yeah…you know…”
“Hmmm…I can’t find a key…I’ll go get help…”
“No! Don’t leave me!” But hyde is already gone.

 “Ah! Mana! Don’t kill him, he can’t help it!”
Mana was wrapping the whip around Ken’s neck. “Shut up!!! He was doing something when I came in! He was--”
“You don’t have to tell me, I know very well what he was doing. But he needs ‘reverse love potion’!”
“Mmmm…I have some of that.” Mana pulled it out of her pocket. Meanwhile ken is slowly choking to death.
“Ah! Kenchan!” Tetsu runs in and uses her “blasting power” to get mana good.
Mana falls unconscious into the bath … which Gackt is in…
Tetsu takes Mana’s love potion and gives it to ken. Ken falls asleep.
“Mana! Speak to me! Mana-chan! She’s DEAD! DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Umm…”
“WHY, GOD? WHY?!?!”
“Gackt, she’s breathing…”
But gackt stands up. “Don’t worry Mana…I’ll avenge your death if it’s the last thing I do.” He stormed out.
Tetsu pulled Mana out of the bath and dragged her into the shower to get the dirty bath water off. But Mana’s clothes were getting all wet, so she took them off…
“AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!” Tetsu fainted as well.
Who will rescue them???
 
 

Ryuichi went back to Takuya’s house to kill him for making a wacky love potion. He took a supply of bananas to eat on the way. As he was walking along eating them, in the darkness he suddenly bumped into a tall gay-looking figure.
“Ah! A gay guy!”
“Ah! A monkey!”
“I’m not a monkey! Where the hell are you going?”
“To kill that evil demon Sugizo! Not only did he make me, um, do some things to, um, someone, and, um, that person, um, ANYWAY, he indirectly caused the DEATH of my love!!!”
“Oh no! That’s terrible! But you can’t kill Sugi-chan! I mean, he’s very mean, but…..I love him!”
“I’m sorry, but he must die! But can you tell me where his house is?”
Ryuichi, being the sly, cunning creature that he id devised a “sneaky plot”
“I’m going there right now. Do you want to come with me?”
“Ok!” And they headed off towards Takuya’s house…

Yuki is sleeping on a double bed in sugi’s bedroom.
“Yuki, my love…” Sugi came and sat next to him. Yuki opened his eyes. “How are you feeling…hope I didn’t hurt you too much last night…hehehe…”
I have to get out of here, thought Yuki.
He’d had a fight with his girlfriend, but now was feeling guilty and wanted to go back to her…and this sugi guy was scary…
Sugi gave an evil grin. “Hehe, what do you want to do now?”
“Um, I have to…call someone…” He decided to call her and get her to come and get him away from this freak!
“Hello, Izam? Eh, you won’t believe where I am …AH! SUGI, STOP THAT! Ah, can you come and get me quick…” He hoped she wouldn’t ask where all the whip-marks on his body came from…

“Eh, do you think they’re really all dead?” the demon asked
“I don’t know…but I saw them last night and I wanted to check up on them” the angel said.
The demon landed beside the body in the bathroom. “Oh, he’s just asleep!” He pulled Ken’s body out of the bathroom and put him on the bed in the bathroom.
The angel went over to the other two. “Ah! There’s where tet-chan went…”
Suddenly the blonde one opened her eyes. “Arghh! Who are you!?”
“ne, I’m an angel, ne!”
“Aah! The last ‘angel’ knocked me out! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill all of--”
The demon, Kami, had knocked her out (he is evil, after all)
Kami and hide floated happily in the air (they are SD, ok? ^_^)  before noticing that tetsu was still unconscious. The shower water had turned cold while he was fainted, and he might have caught a fever..
…So they put him in the bed beside ken and are about to leave.
“Hang on! What about that weird boy-girl?”
“Ah, let’s leave her there.”(he IS evil)
“But…wasn’t that princess Mana? Shouldn’t we take her back and…um…give her to…um, her mother?” *_*
“Ok, then (sigh)”
So, they take mana back towards the castle…

Hyde came back to where Sakura was. “Umm, I can’t find a key…so I brought kozi here to see if he can set you free with his evil powers.”
Sakura: “Did you have to bring another person? Eh…this is kind of embarrassing…”
“Don’t worry!” Hyde said cheerfully, and kozi used his “evil powers” to set sakura free.
“Thank you!” As kozi has been doing that, hyde has been looking at the various pieces of SM equipment around the room.
“What does _this_ do?”
“Um, hehe, you better not worry about that, a nice princess like you ne! Now, what can I do to thank you?”
“Um, well, hehe…”

“Get down from there, you stupid failed demon! I’ll kill you!” Ryuichi shouted angrily to where takuya was cowering in the corner of the ceiling.
Jiro threw a saucepan at Ryuichi, and knocked him out.
“Thanks, Jiro-chan!! ^_^”
Gackt suddenly appeared. “Which one of you is Sugi?”
“Ah! He said it! The name of ‘the evil one’!” Takuya and Jiro grabbed each other in terror.
“Yes, I want to kill him, because…” Gackt wiped away a tear “…He killed my love!”
“Ahh…” Takuya and Jiro looked very pitiful
“And what’s more, he caused me to get raped by ken!!”
“Er…umm…” Takuya and Jiro exchanged glances, and then quickly decide to divert their attention to Ryu.
“Mm…stupid demon…made Sugi fall in love with a pixie instead of me…” Ryu mumbled.
“Hm, poor little monkey.” Said Jiro. “Hey, monkey guy, why doesn’t sugi love you anyway?”
“He says I look like a monkey!” Ryuichi began to cry. “Why doesn’t he realise how handsome I am, I’m such a pretty girl!”
“Maybe…I can make a potion to…um, make you even more prettier! Then would you forgive me?” Takuya feels sorry for the cute little monkey.
Ryuichi looked happy, so takuya started making it right away…

Ken slowly woke up, and he could hardly remember where he was. He found himself in his bed, and he remembered he had been doing…something before he went to bed. He struggled to remember. Uh…Gackt?
Then he noticed somebody beside him, and they were _both naked_ (they took tetsu’s wet clothes off, ok?). So it _wasn’t_ a dream!
Suddenly he saw the person’s face. It wasn’t Gackt’s weird face, it was a much prettier one, Tetsu’s!
“Yay!” thought ken, glad the gackt thing had been a dream after all.
After all, who would want to touch _him_?
 
Mana also woke up. She found herself in her own bed, as she could tell by the blue lacy covers and dolls sitting around everywhere ^_^;;
Aagh…where am I…where is Gackt. Aargh!! SAKURA!! It’s been four days! He could be dead!” She quickly got off the bed. “and that crazy demon…I’ll kill him!!”
So she searches around the castle, but fins that the weird crazy SD angel and demon have run off with a) her mother and b) Kozi, respectively, and there’s noone here. (I _don’t_ want to write about these couples, ok? Use your imagination)
Finally she gets to the ‘SM’ room to unlock sakura
“AAARGHH!!!!!!!!!!” Mana fainted again.
“um….mana-chan…” Sakura got off hyde with a guilty expression on his face.
“Oh, hi, Mana! You didn’t tell me how fun this SM stuff was! I should’ve tried it earlier!” Hyde was oblivious to her sister’s unconscious state
“Um, maybe we better help her…”
“Nah, let’s ‘discuss world politics’ some more…”

“Uh-oh…” The single word echoed through the large house.
“What?” Jiro ran up to the room where ryu and takuya had been. “Did something go wrong?”
 “Um, yes...Don’t come in!” But Jiro had already entered the room. Takuya quickly hid something behind his back…
Gackt also came in  “Um, Takuya…where is Ryuichi?”
Takuya gave a nervous giggle.
“……….”
“……….”
 

Two days later, Takuya was leading Gackt across a large open field on their trek to get to sugi’s place. Takuya had agreed to take gackt there even though he was scared of Sugi, because he thought sugi might not so much of a failure as him and might be able to change Ryu back from his present state.
“Hmm, I better check on him now…” Takuya reached into his backpack and pulled out the monkey doll. It seemed happy enough, so he put it back in and resumed floating after Gackt.
Gackt was walking along with his usual dazed, crazy expression. “Ah, look at the sky! Isn’t it beautiful?”
“Ah, yeah, I guess…”
“When I’m out here like this, when there’s ground all around me and I can feel the wind, I can ‘feel’ the sky so much! Can’t you?”
“Er…yeah…What is it with you and the sky?”
“The sky is very important! People are always asking ‘where did we come from? And where are we going?’ I’ve heard we come from the sea, and the ground…so why not the sky? Well, where we come from’s not really important, but where we are going, what’s gonna happen in future, I have a feeling, we‘ll return to the sky…At least, I think _I_ will.”
Takuya looked at him.  “So what you’re saying…is that you’re an alien?”
“Yes!! I mean, no! I mean…my secret!!”
 “Oh, so _that_  explains why you’re so funny-looking. But who ever heard of a crazy, gay alien? I wouldn’t like to live on your planet…”
“Ah! Is that Sugi’s castle?” Gackt pointed to small dot on the horizon.
  “Yes! It is!” Takuya was so happy he could finally get away from the crazy, gay guy, and flew away even faster.

It was three hours later, and Mana still hadn’t woke up.
“Aah, what can I do? I killed her!” Princess Hyde said.
Suddenly Mana woke up “Hyde! Sakura! What are you doing here?”
Hyde and Sakura looked at each other and decided not to remind her. Suddenly, Hyde remembered something.
“Mana! I have something to ask of you!” she said quickly, before Mana could remember the reason she’d fainted.
“Er…what?”
Hyde explained how she wanted mana to use her “sadistic beast woman” personality to punish Sugi for being so mean to Ryu.
Mana thought about it (after getting up) “Ok…but what do I get in return?”
“Well…I’ll teach you to dance…and write music…and play guitar…”
“Oh thank you! All these things I can’t do already.”
“Yay!” So they decided to go to Sugi’s house, to punish him…
 
Sugi is sitting alone feeling very lonely and annoyed that both his loves have left him.
“Ah…what is wrong with them…leaving a beautiful demon like me! Oh well, at least I still
have my beauty…” Sugi admired his long legs in the mirror. “Hmm…I’m a bit bored now…” He picked up the phone.
“Hello? J? Do you want to come over for a while? Hehehe…”

A long while later Takuya and Gackt finally reached the castle (they’d had to stop for long periods of time while Gackt stopped to admire the sky) and knocked on the door.
There was no answer (it was Shinya’s day off) and Gackt got angry.
“Stupid demon!” He yelled. “Trying to lock us out…” He tried to break down the door with his body, but being the stupid wimp he is, he fell down.
“Ah…lying on my back like this…I can see the sky…” Gackt went into another one of his dazed states. Takuya got annoyed and used his power to break the door down (yes, he actually _did_ something for once!) and they went inside…
They looked all over the castle, and in Sugi’s bedroom, but they still can’t find him…

…That’s because they were down in the dungeon, in the SM chamber…
“J!”
“Sugi!”
“Oh, J…”
“Oh, Sugi…”
“AAHHHH!!!!” That was Takuya’s scream as he opened the door.
Sugi: “AAHH!”
J: “AAHH!!”
Gackt “AAHH!! This is it! First you do all this stuff against me, now what are you doing to that poor guy?!”
Sugi got a big sweat drop and  guiltily put down his whip. “Uh….Gackt….Takuya….hehe…..um….”
“No explanations! I’ve had enough of you Sugi! AHAHA! FEEL THE WRATH OF MY ALIEN POWERS!!”
Suddenly he changes to that weird suit thing with nails, wings etc (can’t be bothered describing it) and charges at Sugi. Sugi unfolds his wings and floats out the way. Gackt uses _his_ wings to follow him and grabbed him.
Sugi: “Aaah!”
J: “Sugi!!” He was chained up and couldn’t help. Takuya could but he was too scared to try to stop Gackt.
Gackt raised his hand up, he’s about to kill Sugi with his super-long razor-sharp nails.
Takuya knew he had to help Sugi, he is his cousin even if he’s an evil freak. Reaching into his backpack, he pulled out the first thing he put his hand on…..
THE MONKEY DOLL!!
As Takuya threw it, it flew through the air and hit Gackt on the back of the head.
Gackt caught sight of the stupid monkey doll and was so shocked by its funny-looking-ness he lost concentration for one second, and Sugi could slip out of his grasp.
Being the unco that he is, as Gackt lowered the hand that was going to kill Sugi he somehow managed to hit himself in the stomach.
“AAH!” Gackt fell to the ground coughing up blood.
“Ah! I killed him!” Takuya yelled.
“Monkey doll! You saved me! Ah, what a cute little monkey!” Sugi picked up the monkey doll and hugged it.
Ryuichi was so happy he….changed back into a human!!
“Sugi-chan! I love you!” Ryuichi hugged him back.
“Ah, what a happy ending…” said Takuya.
“Yeah…” said J, both forgetting Gackt…

Suddenly, in walked Mana, hyde and Sakura.
“AH! Gackt!” Mana ran over to him.
Gackt was sitting on the ground coughing up blood and looking in fascination at his blood-covered hands.
‘Le Ciel’ starts playing in the background.
“Gackt! Speak to me!”
“ah…Mana-chan….”
“Gackt!”
“Mana…”
“Gackt!”
“Hold me….before I return to the sky….”
“I can’t…..your nails will cut me.”
“Oh yeah….” And they walked off happily.
Everyone watched them go. “Umm….”
“I guess Gackt has special alien healing powers.” said hyde.
“Why doesn’t he heal his face then?”
“I don’t know…”

So Gackt changed back into human form, and both he and Mana changed into the clothes they wear in ‘illuminati’. Then their good friends Kozi and Kami came over to Mana’s house, and they chained up Gackt, and they were all very happy.
Then  – Tetsu married ken
-- hyde married Sakura
-- etc (can’t be bothered writing all the other couples)
and they were all happy.
One year later, at the hospital…
Ryu: “Oh, I’m so happy! Now we finally have a family! Hm…what will we name her?”
Sugi: “Hmm…I’ll think of something.”
Suddenly the nurse, Izam, ran in. “Ah!” she said holding out a bundle. “You had a ‘’freak baby’!!! Look! It has wings and a monkey tail!”
Ryu: “Ah, what a cute monkey!” Izam put the baby down on Ryuichi and it scrambled up and clung to him like a monkey.
Ryu and the baby made soothing monkey noises to each other.
Sugi: “Sigh… oh well, at least it’s not hairy…”
 

OWARI

NOTES

1. I don’t really hate Malice Mizer
2. This was finished many many months ago, so the fact that kami and hide were together is no more than pure coincidence!
3. Most of those things about the sky, Gackt actually said.