~1st~
 

The door opened. Sakura fumbled with the light switch. He gave up and struggled over to the bed, dumping the small figure he was holding down on top of the blankets.
Hyde murmured something. "Mm...sa..........."
Shaking his head, Sakura fell down onto his knees. With great difficulty he removed Hyde's coat and high-heeled boots, and helped him under the blankets. As Sakura gently lay his head down on the pillow, the other again tried to say something.
"No. Don't try to talk, you're too drunk. Go to sleep."
Hyde closed his eyes.
Sakura paused for a second, looking down at the angelic sleeping face. Then a sudden nauseous feeling overcame him. He hurried to the bathroom, almost tripping over the other bed, and only just made it to the toilet before he threw up violently. "Ah... was it something I drunk..." he thought, as he leaned his head against the wall next to the toilet. Then the feeling overcame him again, and he leant back over the toilet.
After he thought he had finished, Sakura brushed his teeth and headed into the other room. After throwing up he felt more light-headed and sober. As he stepped into the room he was surprised to see Hyde sitting on the edge of his bed.
"Hyde....why are you still awake.." he went over and tried to push Hyde back down. He resisted.
"No....no... I feel sick....my stomach....." No sooner had the words come out than he suddenly fell forward and retched all over Sakura.
"Oh, my god!!" It was all over his shirt, in his hair. As if this wasn't enough Hyde fell forward onto him, getting it all over himself as well.
"Oh....god........" Sakura managed to push him away, and started to wipe the stuff off his face and neck. It must have been something they drunk.
Hyde, lying beside him groaned. Heaving a long sigh, Sakura picked him up and carried him back to the bathroom. "I wanna go to sleep....."
Under the strong fluorescent light of the bathroom, Hyde looked up and managed to focus his eyes on Sakura, who was turning the shower on. Sakura came and sat down on the tiled floor next to him. "Now take your shirt off."
Hyde looked at him and blinked. Sakura sighed again and helped pull Hyde's shirt over his head. He removed his shirt as well, and put both in the sink, deciding to deal with them tomorrow.
Hyde looked at Sakura's face again, and was again trying to say something. It sounded like an apology.
Sakura smiled. "It's ok." He pulled Hyde closer, standing him up. "Now what would the others say, seeing us like this..."
Hyde managed to laugh. Sakura half-carried him into the shower, and pushed him away so he could clean Hyde's vomit off his own skin and hair.
He turned around. "Do you need help?"
Hyde was leaning against the wall, letting the water run over him, his eyes half-closed, his mouth slightly open. He looked even more beautiful than usual. If Sakura took advantage of the situation now, Hyde would kill him in the morning.
But did that matter now?
The heat of the shower was overwhelming. And Hyde's skin was overly enticing.
Hyde reached out suddenly to grab for Sakura as he lost his balance. But after Sakura caught him and steadied him back into a standing position, his body pushed Hyde's against the wall.
"Ah, Sa-" Hyde's words were blocked as Sakura pushed his mouth against his, slipping his arms around Hyde's waist and bringing them even closer together. Hyde groaned slightly as Sakura took his mouth away, but didn't protest.
Sakura pulled him even tighter, sliding his hands over the wet skin, and kissed him again, this time pushing his tongue in. Kissing Hyde wasn't as good as he'd imagined, because his mouth still tasted of vomit. But the rest of him could make up for it.
The air in the shower was becoming unbearably hot. Sakura decided it would be a lot more comfortable, especially for Hyde, if he took him to the bedroom. Pulling away from him, he turned the shower off. Then he picked him up and carried him out of the bathroom, laying him down on his bed. He began to remove the rest of Hyde's wet clothes. As he undid Hyde's belt, he began to protest suddenly, sitting up and trying to push Sakura's hands away.
"What's wrong?"
Hyde shook his head, his beautiful cheeks blushing red.
Sakura pushed Hyde's hands away. "It's ok. Don't worry. Nothing I haven't seen before." He pushed Hyde back gently on the bed, quickly removing the rest of his clothes. Then he smiled up at Hyde. "So cute."
Hyde bit his lip.
Sakura kissed him again as he slowly lay on top of him. He pushed one hand into the back of Hyde's head, feeling the soft brown hair between his fingers, bringing their heads closer together so he could push his tongue even further down Hyde's throat. His other hand began to slip down Hyde's body, sliding over his chest, then his stomach. When it reached his hips Hyde's whole body jerked suddenly, and he groaned.
Sakura kissed him more lightly, moving one hand around his waist while the other moved between Hyde's legs. The movements which had been gentle at first suddenly became harder.
Hyde gave a shriek that sounded so like one of pain than Sakura pulled his head away. "Are you ok? Did I hurt you?"
Hyde shook his head impatiently and gently pulled Sakura's head back down, encouraging the lips back onto his with an annoyed expression on his face, as if the separation had hurt him somehow.
Sakura resumed his movement. He moved his lips over the rest of Hyde's face, feeling his breathing speed up and become heavier. Unable to hold it back anymore, Hyde began to cry out.
Just as it seemed Hyde was reaching the limit, Sakura stopped his hand. He pulled back, watching Hyde's face. Hyde was still breathing heavily, unable to speak. His eyes looked up pleadingly.
"What do you want me to do?"
Hyde tried to talk between gasps. "Finish........"
Sakura pulled away from him, moving Hyde's body further up on the bed. Then he moved down lower.
"Aahhh....saku......ah!!"
Hyde's whole body jerked upwards violently as Sakura used his mouth. Sakura felt Hyde's hands grab at his hair, his nails biting into his scalp.
As Sakura moved his tongue slightly Hyde's hands clutched art his hair more tightly,
"Sakura......ah......ahh.........." Hyde screamed suddenly and Sakura pulled away quickly as the fluid poured down his throat. He swallowed most of it and looked up at Hyde, smiling. Hyde had released Sakura's head and now lay, his whole body heaving, his eyes focused somewhere on the ceiling.
Sakura didn't stop smiling as he wrapped his arms gently around Hyde. He knew he couldn't actually finish on Hyde tonight. He was too drunk, and he didn't have the energy. And after all, he could always leave that until another night.......

Hyde's consciousness gradually began to return as he opened his eyes in the dim room. The curtains were closed, letting only a few beams of sunlight in from under and around them. Sakura's bed was empty. He tried to sit up.
"Oh, my head........" He lay his head down on the pillow. Images of what had happened last night floated into his mind. The memories were fractured and blurry, as if it had all been a dream. But it seemed too real...
Suddenly, the door opened. Sakura stood in the doorway, carrying on a conversation with someone in the hallway. He said something else, laughed, and closed the door behind him. He turned around and smiled. "You're awake?" He approached the bed.
Hyde pulled the blankets tighter around him and glared at Sakura as he knelt down next to him. "What happened last night?"
"Why, what do you remember?" Sakura grinned.
Hyde, not returning the smile, looked angry. After a moment, he asked "Um...we didn't, you know....."
"What?"
"You know...do it."
Sakura shook his head, "I didn't have to."
Hyde let out a long sigh of relief. "Man, I would have killed you."
Sakura grinned, and moved his face closer. "And what are you going to do now?"
In one sudden movement, Hyde picked up the pillow he'd been leaning on and bashed Sakura over the head with it. As he fell back slightly Hyde jumped out of the bed and pushed him face-down onto the ground, twisting his arm up behind his back.
Sakura yelled in pain.
"You ever take advantage of me again and I'll break your neck, ok? Only if I say you can specifically!"
Sakura managed to laugh. "You liked it, admit it..."
Hyde shoved his arm up further.
"Ah.........ah...." Sakura was laughing and screaming at the same time.
"Never again without my permission."
"Ah.....ok!!."
Hyde got off Sakura's back. With an annoyed expression on his face, he began pulling clothes out of his bag.

It was strange that even an event like that could have no affect on their relationship. The only real change was Hyde being angry for a few days. In the car that day he yelled at him angrily.
"You wanna have fun Sakura, go and find any girl! Not me!"
"But there weren't any girls around... and Hyde is much cuter."
"Stop saying that!"
They'd had to shut up before anyone else heard. And after a while Hyde had stopped mentioning it.
But from that day onwards, although neither really noticed, there was a closeness between them that had never been there before. From that time, they were apart even less of the time.
 
 

After he'd switched off his cell phone and taken his other phone off the hook, Hyde crawled into bed and pulled the covers over his head. He was still shocked and didn't want to think about what tetsu had said. It was too much. His body was still painful from just walking from the studio to his car. But most of all was the affect of tetsu's words.
"Leaving the band..." Worse than leaving, being thrown out. The other members would have to split up. One member change was already too much for a band. Hyde felt numb. He'd been ruining not only his life but the other members' as well.
He tried to push the thoughts out of his head, and closed his eyes. Soon, sleep overcame his exhausted body.
Soon, he was lying in a dark place, in almost pitch blackness. There was a pressure on his body and against his back, as if he was being pushed against something like a wall. Although he felt he was alone, he could hear someone talking to him. Although he couldn't make out the words, he felt he had to escape the sound.
He tried to cover his ears but the pressure on his body prevented him from moving. The idea slowly came to him that the thick liquid he was sitting in and which covered him was his own blood.
"Stop!!" Hyde screamed, trying to move his arms.
The pressure changed, pushing his downwards. Hyde screamed as his head was pushed under the liquid. "Help me!" he yelled out to the person who was speaking. But nothing happened and Hyde realised that the one speaking and the one pushing him downwards were the same being.
In the next second his face was under and he was choking on his own blood.
"Ahh!!" Hyde's eyes snapped open as he awoke from the nightmare suddenly. He was in his own bed, and thankfully there was no blood anywhere. Where the hell did that come from, he thought, still terrified from the after-affects of the dream.
Trying to calm down, he looked at the clock; it was early evening.
He remembered what had happened. He had to ring Sakura. He sat up quickly to pick up the phone.
"AH!" He cried out again. He'd forgotten he couldn't move too suddenly. Groaning, he pulled his legs over to the side of the bed and picked up the phone.
Sakura picked up after a few rings. "Hyde?"
"Can you come over?"
"What's wrong? You sound terrible."
Hyde wanted to cry. "It is terrible, everything's terrible..."
"What's happened?"
"Where are you now?"
"Now, I'm driving."
"Can you come over please... I need to talk to you." Unable to hold back the tears any longer, Hyde hung up the phone. Then, he crawled back into bed and pulled the covers back over his head.
He couldn't remember how much longer it was before Sakura entered the room. He took him down to the kitchen, and Sakura sat down at the table. "Tell me what's wrong."
Shaking, Hyde quickly recounted what tetsu had said.
Sakura didn't say anything after Hyde had finished speaking, but just sat there, staring straight ahead.
"Well, aren't you going to say anything?"
"...What do you expect me to say?"
"You must have a suggestion or something, to tell me what to do!"
"Why would I know what to do?"
"Cos you're the one that caused all this!"
"Oh, we're back to that again, I'm the one that causes everything...."
It was turning into another big husband-and-wife fight.
Finally Hyde was yelling "You're the one that got me into this mess, at least give me advice on how to get out of it!"
"I can't give you advice on anything, I don't know the answers!"
"So you're just going to let the band split up again?!" Hyde yelled. "You've already ruined my life once, don't do it again!"
Sakura's eyes narrowed. "That's it." He pushed past Hyde, nearly knocking him over.
"Oi, Sakura, wait - " Hyde was already sorry for what he'd said.
"I won't ruin your future again then Hyde, good bye." He slammed the door after him.
"No, wait, don't go!" Hyde wrenched the door open just as Sakura got in his car and drove off.
"Oh, dammit, why do I say such stupid things?"
 
 

~2nd~

"Haha, yes tetsu, yes, but I have to go and play with Sakura now."
A laugh on the other side of the phone. Tetsu's kind voice.
Hyde laughed at whatever tetsu had said. "Ok, bye bye now."
"You're going to play with me?" Sakura put down his sticks.
Hyde was pulling the futon out from the cupboard. "Well, this meant to be our practice time together right? But I'm too sleepy now, I'm going to bed. If you're going to play, you'll have to stop making such a noise and come over here."
"EH?!! Come over there? To play in bed?!"
Hyde went red. "You dirty mind!" He picked up Sakura's bag and threw it at him. "There, go and read a pervert magazine if you feel like that!!" Angry, he crawled into the futon, too lazy even to take off his clothes.
Sakura, who had just had to dodge almost getting hit by a bag, got up from behind the drumkit. To be nice to Hyde, he switched off the light, and only the lights from the other skyscrapers filtered through the window onto the floor. He lay down on the couch.
"Baka, you don't have to sleep there, I'm not mad at you now." Hyde lifted the blankets.
Sakura gratefully crawled into the warmth beside Hyde. "You sure?"
Hyde nodded. "Just don't think of anything bad."
"Right." Sakura smiled.
Hyde moved his hands to Sakura's shoulders. "So how are things going with you, my Sakura?" he asked.
Sakura laughed. "I'm yours now?"
"Yes, and don't you forget it."
"Ok, your Sakura is good. So what do I have to do for you?"
"Well...you could start by explaining all this." Flashing his eyes at Sakura, he let go of his shoulders and grabbed his arm.
"Hey...let go.....don't look...." Sakura tried to pull back his arm.
Hyde was inspecting it. Then he looked upset. "Sakura...."
"What?"
"Sakura doesn't like me anymore, I'm not good enough for him..."
"Hyde...no hyde, don't think that..."
Hyde let go of his arm. "Sakura hates me, he has better things to do.." He lay his face down into the pillow.
"Don't be like that." But Hyde seemed to be pretending to be asleep.
"Hyde?"
No answer.
After a second Sakura smiled, then pushed his arms deeper under the covers. The next second he had his arms around Hyde's waist and was tickling him.
Hyde jerked up. "Waah!!"
Sakura didn't stop. "Aaaah!! No, stop it, please, aaaah!!" Hyde was laughing desperately. He was amazingly ticklish. "AAH! STOP, PLEASE!!"
"Who belongs to who now?"
"Aah...whatever...please....I'm yours....anything....aah....."
Sakura finally stopped.
Hyde, still laughing, managed to look up at him weakly.
Sakura kissed him on the cheek. "Don't talk about any of that stuff now, ok. Don't worry about it. I just want you to be happy."
Hyde, still catching his breath, weakly put his arms around Sakura's waist. "Don't worry, I'm so happy already.... Sakura, ne....I....."
He seemed to be falling asleep. Sakura tried to put his arms around him as well, but Hyde suddenly jerked backwards, his body still sensitive from the tickling.
Sakura laughed. "Hyde..." He put his arms around him very slowly, laying Hyde's head into his chest, feeling something beautiful and pure between them.
Hyde mumbled something on the verge of sleep. "...warm...."
Sakura held him tighter, not needing words.
"As long as you're beside me...I.. don't need anything else...just you..." Hyde's voice drifted off.
"I love you. But you already know that."
Hyde made a small sound in his throat that seemed to be an answer, and drifted off into sleep.
Sakura lay there, treasuring the words Hyde had said to him, his closeness... Even if Hyde was ultimately out of reach, the one he loved was beside him....that was the most deep and satisfying happiness of all.
 
 

"Dammit, I know you can hear me, so pick up!"
Silence. Sakura's answering machine had been on all day.
"Sakura, don't do this to me. Pick up the phone."
The answering machine seemed to be set on unlimited time, so Hyde just kept on talking.
His voice grew weaker. "Pleaase pick up the phone Sakura. I'm sorry about what I sad to you. Just let me talk to you.."
More silence.
"Dammit!" Hyde threw the receiver across the room with anger. Then, feeling stupid, he went to retrieve it.
This time when he dialed Sakura's number it actually rang. Hyde felt slightly better. The phone was picked up.
"Yeah, what the hell is it?"
"I've been trying to ring you all day!"
"I noticed."
"Tell me why the hell you're ignoring me."
A sigh.
"...What?"
"It's over, Hyde, I'm sorry. I'm not going to be the one to jeopardize your future."
"....What? You can't do that..." said Hyde in a small voice.
"I have to."
"But you can't...how could you do that to me?! You're the one that started all this, are you just going to pick me up and drop me?"
"I'm sorry. It seems I was going about this all wrong from the start. But there's nothing I can do anymore. It has to be like this."
Hyde was crying. "But, I love you...."
Sakura's voice became more gentle. "It's just not the right time right now, understand?"
"What? Sakura, you sound like....... I mean, it's like you'd say..." He couldn't get the words out properly. What he meant was the words sounded like something someone would say when breaking up with a girlfriend.
Couldn't he understand it was more than that?
He took a deep breath and changed the subject slightly. "Can't I just talk to you. I mean, in real life?"
Silence.
"I'm coming over your house."
"You shouldn't. It's better this way."
"No, I'm coming, I'll come right over."
The line had gone dead.
Hyde sat on the floor, crying at how cold Sakura was being. If he could go over there again, maybe he could work things out. As he got up, the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hyde?" When Hyde heard Ken's voice he sighed with relief that he hadn't said 'Sakura' when he picked up the phone.
"e, Ken-chan?"
"What's wrong? You sound like you're crying."
"No, I'm ok.." Hyde took a deep breath. As he talked, he was getting ready to go out. "What is it?"
"Are you really going to leave the band?"
That old problem again. Just when he'd been trying to forget it.
"Tetsu's kicking me out."
"...Why?"
Hyde shook his head although he was on the phone. "I can't tell you."
Ken sighed. "I know you've been fighting with him, and then I was fighting with him as well. He said to ask you about it."
"It's a long story."
"Hyde, what on earth is wrong with you lately? You cry all the time, you get so sick...and noone ever sees you anymore. Are you having any problem?"
Hyde sighed, leaning against the wall next to the front door. "I wish I could tell you. But I don't want you to hate me as well."
"You're always having problems Hyde. You should get a girlfriend."
"That's your stupid solution for everything ken. I have a bad day, I should get a girlfriend. I have a headache, I should get a girlfriend. I trip over, I should get a girlfriend. Why don't you go and get another damn girlfriend?"
"Ok, ok, ok. At least you've stopped crying now."
"Oh yeah......I did. Thank you."
Ken sighed. "Well if you're not going to tell me anything, I should leave you to whatever you're doing."
"Thanks. I'm going somewhere important now." Hyde was heading out of his house.
"Ok, but can I ask you do one thing?"
"Yeah?"
"Make up with tetsu, ok?"
Ken hung up before Hyde could even reply. Hyde put the phone away slowly as he got into the car. He felt terrible to be hurting Ken like this. Would he really be selfish enough to hurt all of them just to help himself?

Once again, in front of the door to Sakura's house.
This time, not having the strength to yell or bang on the door, he just pressed the doorbell repeatedly. No answer. He leant on the doorbell so it rang continuously. At last he heard somebody approaching.
The person who answered was not the one he had expected, and caused him to step back in surprise.
The girl looked down at him, being about 10 centimetres taller than him. Hyde had never seen her before.
"Yeah, what is it?" She was tall and very beautiful. She was wearing only a bathrobe. It was obvious what she and Sakura had been doing.
Hyde, standing frozen with shock, shook his head. He was terrified if he spoke she would recognise him. A small part of him was thankful he hadn't forgotten to wear a hat and sunglasses when he came here.
"Are you going to answer? You sort of interrupted something."
Hyde shook his head again. "No, it's nothing." he managed to say.
The woman looked at him closer. "Hey, do I know you?"
Hyde just shook his head again.
She shrugged and shut the door quite rudely in his face.
Hyde stood for a moment, staring at the door. A sudden anger overcame him. He thought about smashing something. But, that wouldn't impress Sakura very much.
Having nothing better to do, he went back to his car, and drove home.
He lay down on the couch in his own home, the feelings of numbness and hurt overcoming him. As he fought down an urge to cry, a sudden thought occurred to him.
He sat up, suddenly feeling better. Of course, Sakura had deliberately had that girl there, just so he could get rid of him.... He wanted Hyde to be hurt, so he would leave Sakura alone.
Well, he's not going to get rid of me that easily, thought Hyde. But deep down, something seemed to pierce his heart at the thought of Sakura with another woman. What if Sakura didn't want him at all anymore? He lay back down slowly on the couch, the faint pain in his heart not disappearing.

The next day.
"Sakura, you can't avoid me forever. You have to meet me sometime. Or, I'll just keep coming to your house. You didn't think you could get rid of me with just that girl, did you?"
Finally the phone was snatched up. "Alright, alright!! I give up!! You can deal with this yourself then. God, you're impossible!!"
"Deal with what myself?"
"I was trying to do this the easy way, but it's not going to work. I can't make your damn decisions for you, Hyde."
"What were you trying to do?"
He sighed. "If I stopped talking to you, then you would have to go back to the band. I told you, I don't want to ruin your future. But, I can't force you. In the end, it's your decision."
Now it was Hyde's turn to be silent. "....my decision?"
"Yes! So would you hurry up and decide? This isn't very nice fore me either, you know."
Hyde stared at the ground, silent for a long time. Then he said "Can I have some time to think it over? Then can we meet? I still want to see you....."
"Ok, ok we can meet. But not at our houses, ok? It's getting too dangerous."
"Ok, somewhere else."
Sakura suggested the name of a small park in the suburbs far away from where they lived.
"Waah, that far away? That's almost out in the country!"
"We don't want people to be there, ok?"
"........ok then. Tonight."
"What? I thought you meant tomorrow."
"No, I'll have decided by 5 o'clock tonight."
Another sigh. "Ok. And haido..."
"What?"
"Remember it's your choice. But if you want to go back to them....then tonight's the last time, ok." Sakura hung up, leaving Hyde holding a silent phone.
 
 

~3rd~

The door of the apartment opened silently and the small figure with the bright red hair appeared into the room. He shut the door quickly behind him, putting the key back into his bag.
"...Sakura?" he called softly as he took off his shoes. If Sakura was sleeping, he didn't want to wake him suddenly and scare him. He was meant to be home, he knew Hyde had been going to come over today.
He was not in the kitchen or living room, but Hyde saw evidence that more than one person had been here before. He put his bag down on the couch, noticing an empty packet of cigarettes on the table beside it. They weren't Sakura's brand. Hyde suddenly felt a twinge of jealousy. It was unreasonable, but his heart felt heavy.
He stood up, and went to the bedroom where Sakura must be. He opened the door and smiled as he saw Sakura's figure lying stretched out on the bed. He appeared to be fast asleep.
Hyde went over and shook Sakura's shoulder lightly. "ne, Sakura, wake up."
Sakura didn't stir. Hyde shook him harder. Still there was no movement at all.
Fear began to build up, hidden in the back of Hyde's mind. His hand brushed against Sakura's neck. The skin felt cold.
Hyde lifted him up, shaking his shoulders violently. " Sakura! Oi! Wake up!" Sakura's head fell back limply. Hyde slapped him. "Sakura! Open your eyes!!"
Nothing. Sakura wasn't going to move. Hyde dropped him, bringing his hands up to his face in a panic. He took Sakura's hand and felt for a pulse. Finally he detected something very faint. He thought it might be almost gone.
On the verge of tears, Hyde desperately began to shake Sakura again while he thought of calling for help.
As he reached for his phone, he heard a faint noise.
"Sakura?!" He sat him up and held him while he lightly slapped his face. "Speak to me... please..." Tears were beginning to pour out.
"..Hyde?"
He opened his eyes slowly, seemingly coming out of the sleep on his own accord.
"Sakura!!" The relief caused Hyde to burst into tears as he hugged him. "I thought you were dead..."
"Hyde...I need to get to the bathroom, please..." Sakura groaned.
Hyde nodded and helped him stand up, half-dragging the larger figure to the bathroom connecting to the room. As they reached it, Sakura stepped in and closed the door on Hyde. He tried to open it, but it was locked.
"Sakura?" Hyde tried to wipe the tears away, but they kept coming. "What are you doing?"
Sakura didn't answer for a while. Then he heard him say in a strange voice. "You should go into the living room."
Confused and upset, Hyde did as he said. He sat down on the couch, holding his head in his hands, crying and unable to stop. He didn't want to think about... what if Sakura hadn't woken up? What if he had died? Not seeing Sakura again was too terrible even to think about. He couldn't recover from that one moment when he'd thought Sakura might be gone.
At last, he appeared in the doorway. His face was white, he looked so sick.
Hyde, doing the first thing that came into his mind, jumped up and slapped him hard. "How dare you make me so scared like that?!" he yelled angrily, wiping the tears off his cheeks with the back of his hand. "You made me cry."
Sakura, who had stepped backwards at the force of the slap, leant against the wall, not having the strength to reply.
"I hate you!! I'm going home." Hyde turned to retrieve his bag.
"No...don't go...." Sakura finally spoke up, and Hyde turned around.
Their eyes met. "..Aren't you going to apologize?" Hyde said quietly.
Sakura nodded. "I'm sorry..."
Hyde, still crying, suddenly wrapped his arms around him. "Why...why did you do that? You scared me so much.." he sobbed.
Sakura hugged him back. "Don't cry..." he said softly.
They stood like that for a while. Finally Hyde whispered, almost to himself. "I thought I'd lost you.." He didn't know how soon the premonition would come true.

Sakura hadn't been able to go out that night, so they'd stayed at home. Hyde ended up sleeping on the floor next to Sakura's bed, not wanting to leave him alone anymore. He'd had no way of knowing it would be their last night together. Or else, he might have slept somewhere else.
"Hyde."
"...yeah?" the sleepy voice replied.
Sakura wanted to speak, to express himself, but the words would not come out. Instead, he reached out his hand to Hyde in the darkness. After a second, he felt the warmth of Hyde's hand in his.
He wanted to say thank you, for someone as beautiful as Hyde to give love to someone worthless like him, who didn't deserve it. But he didn't know how to say it.
"Thank you..." The words sounded in the quiet, dark room that would be soon be occupied by many strangers.
An era was ending. But neither of the two, who lay in the darkness clasping each other's hands, had any idea of it.
 
 

Hyde sat on the park bench, smoking. Sakura was late. Maybe he won't turn up, he thought. He shivered, and wrapped his coat tighter around him with his free hand.
It was almost evening. The park was completely deserted. Hyde blew out the smoke on his cigarette, leaned his head back and closed his eyes under his sunglasses.
Someone touched his neck from behind.
Hyde sat up with a start, turning around to confirm the presence behind him. Without speaking, he wrapped his arms around Sakura's waist.
After a second, Sakura hugged him back. They stayed like that for a while, neither speaking. Hyde never wanted to let go of him.
Then Sakura spoke. "I have a place where we can go."
"Where?"
"This park is near my old apartment. I still own it."
"Really?" He hadn't figured out there were near there.
"We can walk there." Sakura picked Hyde up over the back of the bench and stood him up. "It's just a few streets away." He started walking down the path, pulling Hyde's wrist.
"...Sakura?"
"Yeah?"
"I...I don't know if I can walk that far...can you help me..." Hyde's face looked painful.
He let Hyde lean against, him, putting his arms around him to support his weight. This way, they departed the small park and made their way down the small back streets. Passers-by smiled at what they thought was the young couple walking close together.
By the time they reached Sakura's old apartment, the sun had almost set, although the sky was too clouded to really tell. Sakura unlocked the door and as they came inside the small apartment Hyde headed straight for the heater and turned it on. He sat down on the couch, looking tired.
Neither had spoken since they had left the park. Sakura, after taking his coat off, came and sat next to Hyde, not knowing what to say. Neither wanted to mention what they'd been talking about that morning.
Finally Hyde said "Is there anything to eat here?"
Sakura shook his head. "I haven't been here for a while."
"Would you go out and get me something then? I'm hungry."
"Damn it, what am I, your slave?"
Hyde leaned his head back on the couch, looking pathetic. "I'm so tired....."
Sakura hadn't had a choice, right from the beginning. He went out to get Hyde his food.
When he returned, it was already dark. Hyde was sitting on the table in the kitchen, the only room where he'd turned a light on. Saying thank you to Sakura, he took the food happily and ate it. Sakura watched him.
"Aren't you hungry?"
Sakura shook his head, and continued to watch him closely. Hyde finished the food quickly. Once he'd finished he looked a lot happier and less tired.
Sakura said "We need to talk." He led Hyde to the living room, where he sat down on the floor in front of the sofa. Sakura sat down next to him. There was light coming in from the window, but the room was still dark compared to the kitchen.
"I didn't want to have to talk about this but - "
"Then, why did you bring it up. Look, I've been thinking about it ok?"
"Then, have you decided?"
Hyde looked away, out of the window. Sakura couldn't see his face.
"...haido?"
"What you said before."
"What? What did I say?"
"About it not being the right time for us. I hated that."
"Look, I didn't mean it."
"It's more than that! You don't understand!"
"Of course I do. Of course it's more than that." Sakura tried to hug him, saying anything to comfort him.
"You don't just think this is like breaking up with a girlfriend do you. It's more than that...." Hyde repeated. Frustrated he couldn't express himself properly, he began to cry.
"Shh, don't cry." Sakura held him tighter, bringing Hyde onto his lap. "Don't worry. We're still together now, we've still got tonight, ok? No matter what you decide."
Hyde nodded and hugged him back tighter. They sat again for a long time. Hyde eventually stopped crying and simply lay against Sakura's chest with his eyes closed. Sakura stroked his hair.
"...What do you see in me?"
"Mm?" Hyde looked up slightly.
"I was just wondering....why would someone like you put up with someone like me?"
Hyde managed to smile despite himself. What a crazy time to bring that up, he thought. "Hmm... maybe it's because you always think you can use me, when as a matter of fact you're the one being used yourself the whole time."
"Eh?" Sakura shook his head slowly. "I don't understand you at all."
"So." Hyde asked softly. "What do you like about me?"
"What? Oh, don't ask me that."
"You asked me."
"I was just trying to change the subject."
"Well, you have to answer now." Hyde pulled away and looked at Sakura's face.
"To tell the truth, I have no idea. There must be something wrong with me to find something in a little brat like you."
"What?! Oh, you're just trying to make me mad."
"No, I'm serious."
Hyde looked angry, and then seemed to see the funny side. He smiled suddenly and wrapped his arms back around Sakura. "I love you!! If I was a girl I'd marry you."
Sakura grinned at the thought. "Well, you could pretend to be a girl a bit now, if you want."
"...What?"
Sakura pushed him over backwards. "This might be our last night together. Do you really want to spend all of it just talking?"
Hyde looked at the clock. It was only just past eight o'clock. He sighed. "I still want to talk to you... But we can talk in the bedroom, ok?"
Sakura nodded in agreement and picked him up.
They lay down on the bed, and Hyde talked on and on for a very long time. What he was actually saying didn't seem that important. Just as long as there was someone there to listen and to comfort him.
When he'd finished talking, he stared past Sakura for a long moment. His expression looked bleak.
"Ne, Sakura....even if we can't be together now..."
"Yeah?"
"We'll be together someday, right?" Hyde pulled himself closer.
Sakura nodded, although he didn't know if that was true or not.
The moon came briefly out from behind a cloud. The soft light that fell into the room illuminated the two as Sakura's lips moved on top of his. This time, although he tried to keep it in, more tears slid down Hyde's cheeks as he held Sakura tighter and tighter.
Sakura touched his cheeks, trying to brush the tears away, to comfort him. Hyde's arms were wrapped around him strongly, never wanting to let go. "I love you...." Hyde whispered again, as the clothing between them was removed. "I love you...don't leave me...."
Once again, neither wanted to mention, to think about, Hyde's decision. The important thing was this one night.
Time can't be turned back, no matter how hard one tries. And in real life, true love can't always succeed....

Hyde gradually became aware of the darkness around him. Although he tried, he could not fall back asleep even in the comfortable environment. This was an unfamiliar bed. Gradually, he realised where he was.
The clock said only 1 am. Perhaps due to all the extra sleep he'd been getting lately, Hyde didn't feel tired at all.
Very slowly, he slipped out of Sakura's embrace. Sakura stirred, but didn't open his eyes as Hyde slowly got out of the bed. He put his clothing back on, then stood up and went over to the window.
"Looks like it might rain..." he mumbled.
He lit a cigarette, and then glanced over to where Sakura was still sleeping. He remembered how many times Sakura had left when he was sleeping, leaving him to wake up alone. It was so like him to do that really, to try to be all mysterious and sneak away without the other knowing.
I'll show him, Hyde thought as he put the cigarette out. He smiled, almost sadly.
He went over to the bed where Sakura was sleeping. Very gently, he took the face in his hands, and brushed his lips against it softly. Sakura once again stirred, but Hyde just touched his hair gently, calming him back to sleep.
This way, it would be clear that in the end, it had been Hyde's decision. That might ease Sakura's guilt slightly.
He leant over the other one more time. "This time I'm the sneaky one Sakura." He touched his face one last time. "We'll meet again, ok?"
There was no need to leave a note. There was nothing else Hyde needed to say. He closed the door to the apartment behind him as quietly as he could, and exited the building. Once out in the street, he pulled on his hat and coat against the cold night air. This time, there was no one to help him walk, but he felt the emotional pain far overrode the physical.
He finally reached his car just as it started to rain. Hyde stared down at the wheel, suddenly thinking of how much he'd cried in the last few weeks. Usually, he never cried at all. For some reason now though, he felt only numbness. He didn't want to be alone now, he needed to talk to someone.
After a few more seconds, he started the engine, and slowly headed away from the park.

Tetsu looked up from the television show he'd been half-watching at the sound of the doorbell. He hadn't been expecting anyone at this hour. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see Hyde's small figure standing on the doorstep, soaking wet from the pouring rain.
"Hyde?!"
Hyde, losing his balance, fell forward and wrapped his arms around tetsu. "Tet-chan....."
"What's wrong?"
"It's ok. You have your band back now."
"Do you mean..."
Hyde nodded. "I won't be seeing him anymore. Not until it's ok by everyone. Are you happy now?"
Tetsu held Hyde back. "I'm sorry you had to do this."
Hyde didn't reply, just kept on hugging him.
"You're all wet, Hyde. Come in for a while." Tetsu shut the door behind him, and led him down the hallway. Hyde leant against him, his eyes closed. Although Sakura was gone, he still believed they'd be able to meet again someday. And now he didn't have to worry about hurting the others anymore. L'arc~en~Ciel was back.
Hyde wrapped his arms tighter around tetsu and leant his head into his side. Knowing he and Sakura could be together again one day, he wouldn't have to be lonely anymore.

And, Hyde knew that no matter what, he wouldn't be alone tonight. . . .
 
 

Hehe, do you like the ending? Hahaha (evil laugh) ....well I guess you can use your imagination on that one ^_^ anyway, sorry, I'm too much of a depressing person to write happy endings. So, anyway........... well, the next one will be better.............