Note: This is a short story which I wrote on the BH fanfiction mailing list.

The Prince and the Toad

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful (haha) prince named Marron Glace. Marron was the successor of his father, Onion, who ruled the Spooner Continent. Now, poor Marron didn't know what the real name for his land was because it had been dubbed into English. What cruelties he had to endure. Not only was he confused between English and Japanese but his brother was also hell to live with.

Carrot, Marron's older brother, dwelled at the bottom of the castle in a moat. Where else were they to house a 20 foot dragon with eyes that made the strongest maiden collapse with fright?

And so Marron went about his duties as prince but always wondering what his purpose was for sitting on a throne all day. It could be so dull at times.

Then, the day of misery was bestowed upon him when his father announced his bethrothal to Mamu, the queen of the fairy lands. Marron had a big problem with marrying a lady bigger than his dragon brother and older than time itself. It seemed indecent to him. With nothing better to do, Marron decided to rebel. And he did by running away on his brother. Carrot carried him high above the clouds, flying in circles and breathing flames onto the treetops below. Occasionally, the dragon would begin to hurtle downwards for some unsuspecting 'pretty girl'.

They took a break at a pond so that Carrot could nurse the numerous bruises along his flanks. Girls could be so mean in this day and age. Too many whips and chains being sold at the marketplace. This pond that they rested at was uglier than any they had ever seen before. Filled with muck and upended roots of a plant long forgotten. Even the toad in the center of the lily pads was ugly. Nasty, dirty toad.

"Hey!," the toad called out.

Marron glanced over at it, ignoring his brother who fainted from fright. "Are you calling me?," asked Marron. He was somewhat familiar with talking animals since he liked to mess with magic. What would his father think if he ever found out?

"Yes, beautiful one. I am a magic toad." Over it hopped to sit on Marron's lap, ruining his clean pair of pants. Dirty, muddy toad!

"I gathered that already. What can I do for you?"

"Plenty. Give me a kiss!"

Was that ever rude. The toad hadn't even said 'please'. "And why should I do that?" Marron was fed up with his father picking out dates for him which he almost always abandoned. And now he was to marry a really big woman who would crush him and... "I suppose there are worse things. And you aren't too revolting..." So Marron picked up the slimy toad and kissed it. Nothing happened. "Aren't you supposed to turn into a pretty girl for Niisan to manhandle?"

"Good point." The toad clicked its heels together three times while sayind "there is no place like home" or "bring me back to Kansas Aunty Em," something like that. And before Marron could imagine where the heck Kansas was, he was smothered by a very large man wearing a smirk which looked all too evil. "Thank you soooo much, Marron. Now, your wish will be granted."

"What wish?" Marron gave the man a suspicious stare. "I didn't wish for anything, certainly not such a large man as yourself."

"You wanted to marry someone other than Big Mama...whoops, wrong version. We're on subtitled now?"

"Yes, we switched over without telling anyone."

"Oh, well then. You wanted to marry someone other than Mamu so here I am. Gateau the magical toad King...of the toads no less. Here to marry you and sweep you off your feet. And do anything and everything to make your life easier, more comfortable and one hundred times more annoying."

"Okay." Marron accepted Gateau's clothes as a sign of his affection and went to wake Carrot. Gateau went about flexing in his underwear. "Niisan, we can return. I've found a husband."

"Meow!" Carrot bolted upright and choked. "But...he's a man!!!"

Carrot had to be subdued by Gateau and dragged back to the Spooner Continent where Gateau married Marron. Onion had a heart attack but got over it for Gateau's sister, Eclair. And Mamu...she grew to be a very old, single lady.

The End