ANOTHER songfic I started on a few days ago, and had t re-start after I had to whipe my hard drive (the male Parental Unit didn't think it was worth getting a virus scan, and didn't think it was nessisary to back up any of the files- PUs, boy do they stink!)
Yeah, I was a bit down when I started this, but then my friend come on ICQ and, well, he cheered me up... so I had the go in me to write a happy ending... so, without further haste...... my latest songfic!!!
the song is “Full of Grace” by Sarah McLachlan the fic is “Its Better This Way” by Silvernyte
The winter is cold and bitter It chilled us to the bone
Zelgadis shivered, not from the cold, but from the hopelessness seeping into his self like blue ice that can form in an old hollow tree in winter. He’d been searching for a cure, a way to turn himself human again, for years… with no luck. He was beginning to think that there was none.
I haven't seen the sun for weeks Too long too far from home
He needed that cure, now more than ever, if he was to be worthy for the one his heart now beat for. He was considering giving up. All was lost; at least that’s what he was beginning to believe.
I feel just like I’m sinking And I claw for solid ground
I can’t give up, not if there’s a chance, he tried to tell himself. Hopelessness froze inside him, an almost physical pain. He decided to leave Lina’s group, and told them coldly he was going off on his own to look for a cure.
I’m pulled down by the undertow I never thought I could feel so low Oh, darkness I feel like letting go
As he walked away his hand went to the dagger he had picked up a
while ago, a blood dagger,
capable of piercing even his stone skin without any aid.
“
It’d be
better this way, especially if by some
miracle she does feel for me,” he whispered, tears falling from his
eyes as he walked onward.
If all of the strength and all of the courage Come and lift me from this place I know I can love you much better than this Full of grace, full of grace, my love
He looked behind him, even though he knew they were out of sight -
that she was out of sight. He
cursed his cowardice to continue his life as a Chimera, his blue, stone
skin setting him apart from every
human, apart from her.
I’m sorry Lina, you deserve better than me…”
It's better this way, I said Haven't seen this place before
He took the dagger out of its case, clutching it in his fist, his
eyes shut tight, a tear falling through every
now and then. He held it level with his heart.
“Its better this way…”
Where everything we say and do Hurts us all the more
He barely heard the footsteps nearing where he stood, but it was
her
voice that broke his resolve for a
moment.
“What’s better what way?” Lina asked. She then noticed the
dagger that had barely touched his
chest, and the bead of blood on the tip of the blade. “Zel! What are you doing!” she managed to
scream… her eyes began to water and then softly, she spoke again, “No
Zel, I love you…”
It's just that we’ve stayed too long In the same old sickly skin
The words touched his heart and strengthened his resolve,
“It’s
better this way… if I’m gone, and not
like this.” He damned Rezo for turning him into what he now was, with
more hate than ever now that he
knew Lina did care for him as he had come to care for her…
I’m pulled down by the undertow I never thought I could feel so low Oh darkness I feel like letting go
She screamed as he began to push the dagger towards his chest,
“Zel... no... you don’t have to be
human – I love you as you are!!” She ran to him and tried to push the
dagger away from him...
If all of the strength and all of the courage Come and life me from this place I know I can love you much better than this Full of grace
He heard her gasp as she pushed the dagger away, then he saw what
had happened. The dagger had
embedded itself in her shoulder, blood flowed from the wound, her eyes
were shut and she was barely
breathing.
“Lina... why?” he asked as he pulled out the dagger. He held
her close to him as he tried to
stop the flow of blood... “I love you...”
I know I can love you much better than this
Slowly her eyes opened and she smiled.
“I’m gonna be okay, Zel,
it’ll just take some time... don’t
worry...” He smiled at her and bent down to kiss her...
“I was wrong,” He spoke after the kiss...
Its better this way.
“Its better THIS way...”