Presently a spindly man with a pinched chin and a mustache even more unflattering than the maitre d'hotel's had been walked over to their table.
"Bon soir. Ah ahm Jean-Louis, ahnd Ah will be yoah waiter tonight," he greeted with a thick, affected accent.
"Bon soir. Je suis Zelgadiss et cette belle fille est Lina. Nous--" Zel stopped speaking, noting the amusing blank look the waiter had. He heard Link snicker.
"Uh...." the waiter stammered.
"Let's try again," Zel suggested politely, and Lina actually giggled. Zelgadiss informed the waiter that he wanted a simple steak and baked potato dinner. "Lina?" Zel prompted.
"I want this, this, this, and this."
The waiter was ready to faint at that.
"Is that all, Lina?" Zel inquired.
"Yup, that's all," she confirmed, grinning.
"Vould yew lahke somzing to drink?"
Zel looked at Lina, who shrugged. Zel proceeded to order a bottle of fairly expensive wine.
"Riaht ahway, sir," the waiter said before retreating.
"That's some pretty expensive stuff, Zel," Lina commented.
"It's nothing, considering the money I've saved with your frugal order."
"Oh," she said, then chuckled self-depreciatingly.
Zel smiled.
"Um...what did you say to the waiter before?" Lina asked after a moment.
"I simply introduced us to him."
"And he had no clue what you were saying," Lina recalled with a wide grin. "So he's faking the accent."
"The *imperfect* accent," Zel corrected. "The man is a poseur."
At that moment, the subject of their conversation returned, bearing a bottle of wine and two wine glasses. 'Jean-Louis' set the glasses down before them, then proceeded to open the bottle. This took the waiter many moments longer than it really should've, and Lina bit back another giggle.
'Jean-Louis' poured a little bit of wine into Zel's glass. Zel took a sip, an appraising look on his face. After a moment, Zel swallowed and said, "That will do nicely."
Lina watched that last exchange blankly, unsure what the bloody hell was going on and therefore observing instead of getting mad.
'Jean-Louis' then filled both of their glasses. "Yoah deenir vill be reahdy soon," he said before leaving just a bit to quickly.
"Uh, Zel....? What was that all about?" Lina asked once their waiter was out of sight.
"I was making certain the wine was of the proper quality before we accepted the bottle," Zel explained. "And before you tried it; no need for you to have bad wine, is there?"
"Oh." Lina had not been to many truly "upscale" restaurants, preferring more casual places with cheaper food. She grabbed her wine glass and took a sip. It was good.

_______

--Elizabeth, Trickster Priestess ~_~