Disclaimer: I do not own Fushigi Yuugi or the Twelve Days of Christmas. This is pure fluff, meant for the enjoyment of FY fans. Enjoy! ^_^
Warnings: Not for Children. Implied Adult Themes. Rated PG-13.
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The Twelve Days of X-mas
FY STYLE!!!!
Taitsukuun motioned for the gathered audience to be quiet. "The Mikos wanted to do something special for this 'Christmas' of theirs, so they rewrote some song from their world and conned the Seishi into singing it with them. No, you can't leave and the Nyan Nyan will be checking your ears to make sure you haven't stuffed cotton into them."
Byakko frowned and elbowed Genbu. The latter gave him a funny look and pulled the earplugs from his ears. "Wha-" He was ambushed by Nyan Nyan and had his hands tied to his chair. Beisde him, Keisuke chuckled and was rewarded with his mouth being taped up.
The Creator sighed. "Anyone else not ready? Good." She took her seat beside (and slightly above) Tetsuya as the curtains parted.
Miaka grinned and motioned for Yui to turn on the tape player. As the music started, the Seishi (minus Ashitare and Miboshi, who were nowhere to be seen) started singing.
"On the First Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me-"
At the mention of 'true love', Miaka and Tamahome, Tatara and Suzuno, as well as Toraki and Subaru looked adoringly at each other. Suboshi also looked at Yui, but she kept her eyes forward.
"-Old Suzaku in a pear tree."
Suzaku glared at his Miko. "Old?"
"Shhh!" Taitsukuun smiled as a Nyan Nyan put a big sticker over his mouth that read, 'Do Not Open 'Til Xmas'.
"On the Second Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me-"
This time, Nuriko, Soi and Tomo joined Suboshi in gazing adoringly. Nakago remained unaffected, while Hotohori started fidgeting.
"-Two Boshi Twins. And Old Suzaku in a pear tree."
"On the Third Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me-"
Soi and Tomo grinned suddenly.
"-A Seiryuu Seishi Threesome-"
Nakago paled. The other Seiryuu and the Suzaku looked like they were going to be sick and the Byakko and Genbu started laughing.
"-Two Boshi Twins. And Old Suzaku in a pear tree.
"On the Fourth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me-
"Four Beast Gods. A Seiryuu Seishi Threesome. Two Boshi Twins. And Old Suzaku in a Pear Tree."
"On the Fifth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me-
Both Nuriko and Tomo glared at Hikitsu and Tomite as the latter two grinned.
"FIVE CROSS-DRESSING QUEENS!-"
Tetsuya snickered, then immediately ducked as he saw Nuriko pick up a piece of the set.
"-Four Beast Gods. A Seiryuu Seishi Threesome. Two Boshi Twins. And Old Suzaku in a Pear Tree."
"On the Sixth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me-
"Six wars-a-brewing-"
Taitsukuun glared at the Beast Gods, as they all turned their attention to something interesting on the ceiling.
"-FIVE CROSS-DRESSING QUEENS! Four Beast Gods. A Seiryuu Seishi Threesome. Two Boshi Twins. And Old Suzaku in a Pear Tree."
"On the Seventh Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me-"
Tasuki and several other Seishi began making faces at the "loving couples".
"-Seven Genbus Swimming. Six Wars-a-brewing. FIVE CROSS-DRESSING QUEENS! Four Beast Gods. A Seiryuu Seishi Threesome. Two Boshi Twins. And Old Suzaku in a Pear Tree."
"On the Eighth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me-"
Tamahome finally noticed Tasuki making faces at him and slugged him.
"-Eight Monks-a-floating.-"
Miboshi floated above the others, giving a thumbs-up sign to Ashitare off-stage.
"-Seven Genbus Swimming. Six Wars-a-brewing. FIVE CROSS-DRESSING QUEENS! Four Beast Gods. A Seiryuu Seishi Threesome. Two Boshi Twins. And Old Suzaku in a Pear Tree."
"On the Ninth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me-"
Tasuki grabbed the curtain and pulled himself to his feet, stumbling into Tomo.
"-Nine Reborn Demons.-"
Shouka raised an eyebrow and glanced at Hikou. "Think they're trying to tell us something?"
Tomo pushed Tasuki offstage, knocking him into Ashitare.
"-Eight Monks-a-floating.-"
Ashitare let go of the rope holding Miboshi up. The short priest panicked for a moment, then landed on Karasuki.
"-Seven Genbus Swimming.-"
The Byakko Seishi screamed and punched him. Amefuri then helped her pull the smaller Seishi offstage.
"-Six Wars-a-brewing. FIVE CROSS-DRESSING QUEENS! Four Beast Gods. A Seiryuu Seishi Threesome. Two Boshi Twins. And Old Suzaku in a Pear Tree."
"On the Tenth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me-"
"-Ten Bishie Bandits.-"
Kouji grinned while the other bandits started cheering. Taitsukuun glared at them, silencing all but one that was declaring his love for Hotohori.
"-Nine Reborn Demons. Eight Monks-a-floating. Seven Genbus Swimming. Six Wars-a-brewing. FIVE CROSS-DRESSING QUEENS! Four Beast Gods. A Seiryuu Seishi Threesome. Two Boshi Twins. And Old Suzaku in a Pear Tree."
"On the Eleventh Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me-"
Hotohori looked extremely nervous as Nuriko switched places with Chichiri and the bandit moved up to the edge of the stage.
"-Eleven Seiryuu Flutists.-"
Amiboshi glared at his brother, as the Genbu Seishi all turned to glare at him.
"-Ten Bishie Bandits. Nine Reborn Demons. Eight Monks-a-floating. Seven Genbus Swimming. Six Wars-a-brewing. FIVE CROSS-DRESSING QUEENS! Four Beast Gods. A Seiryuu Seishi Threesome. Two Boshi Twins. And Old Suzaku in a Pear Tree."
"On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me-"
Nuriko decked the bandit, then glomped Hotohori. Miaka glomped Tamahome. Toroki grinned at Subaru and pulled her off-stage. Suzuno smiled as Tatara grew a rose for her.
"-Twelve Undead Seishi. Eleven Seiryuu Flutists. Ten Bishie Bandits. Nine Reborn Demons. Eight Monks-a-floating. Seven Genbus Swimming. Six Wars-a-brewing. FIVE CROSS-DRESSING QUEENS!-"
The group took a collective breath (those that were being glomped tried to).
"-Four Beast Gods. A Seiryuu Seishi Threesome. Two Boshi Twins.-"
Miboshi, now covered in honey and feathers, was lowered from the rafters into a pear tree made by Tatara.
"-AND A HONEY-ROASTED CHICKEN OF DOOM!!!!"
The stage emptied quickly (except for a slightly panicked Miboshi) as the room began glowing red. Taitsukuun snickered as the other Gods started rolling on the floor.
Kouji quickly jumped up on the stage, pulling Tasuki from the wings. "And now we want to sing you the Mount Reikaku version, 'The Twelve Nights of Christmas'."
Taitsukuun waved her hand as the two bandits started singing and the Curtain closed on them. "I think we'll save that for next Christmas."
~fin~
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