Here to save your little ones
This is the tale of the undaunted and always heroic hero, El Bastardo. At a young age, El Bastardo was continually on the lookout for danger and evil. When he turned 10, the little bastardo had already rescued 7 old ladies, stopped robberies at 18 banks, performed numerous CPR rescues and had given 23 men head. Oopsa, didn't mean for that one to slip. Anyway, at a ripe age of 17, this icon of heroism recieved his name, "El Bastardo". How, might you ask?
His Story
One day in art class, Liz and I were talking about Don, the wonderful kid he is. This was at a point where he was being a bastard again and Liz was pissed off. Liz revealed to me that she had written "Don is a bastard" all over her notebook. I quickly started saying "El Bastardo" after a few moments of making fun of him. She whipped out this little frame she had with his picture in it and it was orange and heart-shaped, so I drew all over it "El Bastardo" and things of the like. I have the frame I just dont feel like scanning it right now. You can wait you fucking whores.
But yes, that is how the legend of El Bastardo began.
Here's a little series of pictures of the bastardo.
 In the morning, our Bastardo awakens and takes a shower in a cute pink towel. |
 But then, Olay! Bastardo realizes he can hang clothes hangers on himself. |
 ...And masturbation ensues. |
 But that is not enough! He seeks the unseekable, speaks the unspeakable, and grabs the ungrabable - Liz's ass. |
 But they get it on anyway, Endele, Endle, Areba, Areba! El Sexo de Grande! |
 They share a few tender moments afterwards but... |
 El Bastardo cannot be fooled! He realizes his love partner is none other than the evil El Bitcho! (dun dun dun...) |
 He then continues to beat her as the unknowing crowd watches in awe. |
 Hooray for El Bastardo, he has defeated her! |
 He steals away El Bitcho's evil "Got Poop?" shirt so he can forever seal away her powers! |
 He then rides away on his trusty steed, El Horsecock, into the deep New Jersey sunset. |
 Bastardo goes to visit El Bitcho in the local jail... |
 And recieves head.. |
 And then gets a cute photo opportunity. |
Ahh, a day in the life of El Bastardo. Watch out for action figures and a feature film in the near future. He has kung-fu fighting grip!