It had been the first night in which they had not made love. The first night after a long, long time.

The youko had tried. He had spent the whole night trying to reach out for Hiei, but the youkai slipped off his grasp at every attempt, shifting away and offering no excuses but a bad humored grunt everytime the youko cuddled to him.

In the morning, Hiei had been the first to wake up. He dressed up and left the den in the same dour mood of the previous evening. Kurama, who suffered from a long, stressing insomnia that whole night, did not waste time. Under those circunstances he did not want to wait for Kinno to start the house chores. He hurried after Hiei gently, promptly arranging and serving him breakfast, offering him the biggest and juiciest fruits he found in his orchard.

All the while his golden eyes demanded an explanation, but Hiei offered him none. Kurama tried to establish a conversation, but Hiei's only response to whatever he said, and whatever he asked was his trade-mark "Hn."

Kurama even prepared and served Hiei tea. But Hiei remained shut like a clam.

When the kids woke up, the tension in between the couple seemed to fade; but it was just an impression. Hiei started to talk normally, and he even laughed at Kinno's constant silliness, and Hyoko's playful mirth. He cuddled to Ikki, bringing the shy kid closer to him, and sharin breakfast withhim, and all for a moment, it seemed a very happy family.

But Hiei still did not talk to Kurama.

After breakfast, Hiei got his his cloak and his katana, and told the kids he would be away for some time.

Kurama panicked then - Hiei had talked to the kids; he had not even cast a glance in his direction, always acting as if he were invisible.

Inari! He could not put up with all that despise any more!

When Kurama watched at Hiei head down the field with resolute steps, the youko decided to forget about his damned pride and ran after the fire demon. He was already ready to bed, to kneel down at his feet, and do anything he could in order to prevent his lover from walking way from him.

He cried out Hiei's name, begging him to hold. The despair in his voice was so loud that Kinno's ears prickled forward, and Hyoko and Ikki hurried to see what was happening.

They were not stupid, after all. They had realized there was something wrong happening between their parents... Even Kinno had noticed that, although he kept his mouth shut about it...

The kids crawled behind a shrubbery, and watched the whole scene with wide-eyes curiosity.

Hiei stopped, and just stood there, with arms crossed at his chest, waiting for the youkoto catch him up. Then, when he sensed the fox had reached him, he turned around and faced his lover wth an intense, bitter stare.

Kurama reached out to touch Hiei's shoulder, but the youkai elbowed him away, with annoyance.

"Hiei... You've been acting weird all morning... What's up?"

Those red eyes fell heavily on him, implying  a yet unspoken accusation.

The fire youkai looked around.

The baby youko, Ikki and Kinno were observing it all, sitting in the grass just a little way away from them.

Hiei glared at them.

"Go away! This is between Kurama and me! It's adult's talk!"

Ikki and Hyoko immediately fled away. Only Kinno stayed there, propping his chin on his cupped hands, and his elbows on his bent knees.

The golden youko blinked, inquisitively, eager to try to help his daddy and his cute Ji-chan. .

It was the silver fox's turn to shoo Kinno away, impatiently.

"Hey, punk! It means you too! Go away!"

Kinno rushed out of sight at once.

The demon lovers faced one another intensely. Kurama showed sad, pleading eyes, and Hiei's gaze was very direct and unmoving. Kurama sat on his ankles, and quietly joined his hands before him, in a begging fashion.

"Baby... You say nothing... At least give me a chance of defense. What's wrong? Everything was so perfect yesterday; what made it change overnight?"

Hiei murmured a three-word answer.

"The Dream Flowers."

Kurama became deadly pale.

"Are you leaving me because of flowers? I can't believe it!"

Hiei merely nodded his head. Perhaps the youko could not understand, but it had been treason somehow. And the existence of  those flowers have triggered a fear Hiei always had in the back of his mind.  The feeling Kurama might one day leave him for either a new or an old-time lover.

Hiei had overlooked his apprehensions, but in fact such fear had never left his demon heart. He had always been too jealous of his fox, but his natural stern disposition forced him to hide his feelings, and try to rebuff them. He had concealed his jealousy and uncertainty under that delicious life in the wilderness they shared. Their routine was just to make love, not to think of anything, stuff something in their stomachs whenever hungry, then make love again... It worked out fine, even after the kids came to live with them.

And now he found the youko had secret arrangements with Yomi...

He never knew what happened between Yomi and Kurama. He knew no details, and ignorance of the facts made him start thinking all kinds of absurds. And it was obvious to everyone Yomi still drooled at the Silver Youko...

What had always easened Hiei's jealousy was Kurama remained at safe distance from Gandara's King. Nevertheless such distance was dramatically shortened by the dreams those flowers offered Yomi.

Shura had told him everything. The young youkai exulted with the malicious gossip, while telling Hiei of the way Yomi abandoned himself to those wet dreams, and how he could hardly live without then.

In Hiei's simple logic, it only meant that Yomi could not live without Kurama in the waken world also. On the other hand Kurama, by offering him the chance to experience those dreams, took active part in it. It meant he accepted and even enjoyed Yomi's fixation on him.

Hiei felt betrayed for not being told about it. He had tried during that whole night to forget his anger and ressentment, and give Kurama another chance, but when the morning came, he found he could not do it. At least not yet.

It was then he decided to leave.

"Hiei! You can't be jealous of a dream. I used the flowers to divert Yomi from us. You don't know the way he is... He is obssessed for me and I didn't want him to bother us. Those flowers were the only way I found to make him leave us alone."

Hiei lowered his head. He did not even want to meet Kurama's eyes, not to be moved from his decision.

"Hn. I used to be jealous of you, but when you came to the Makai you finally gave me a proof of unconditional love I could not doubt." Hiei took a deep breath then. "I am not angry because of the dreams! I am angry because you never told me a thing! You cheated! You did not trust me enough to say what was going on!" The Fire Demon looked at the youko with a fierce disposition. "It is the lie that I do not forgive!"
 
"Don't go. Don't leave me just because of Yomi... I can't stand that..."

Hiei shook his head, hopelessly. The youko had not understood it yet. It was not a matter of jealousy. It was a matter of honor.

"I am not leaving because of Yomi. I am leaving because you hid things from me, and now it is hard to trust you any longer."

"No! Please!" Kurama walked on his knees to Hiei. "Stay. Please, stay and I'll tell you everything you want to know..."

Hiei raised one eyebrow, apparently interested in the bargain.

"Will you tell me about your past? About Yomi and you? About your past lovers?"

Kurama acquiesced meekly with a slow movement of his head.

"I'll do it. If it's what you want... I'll tell you everything you want to know."

Hiei sat on the ground, cross-legged, and laid his katana across his lap. He kept his back straight and closed his arms on his chest, as he gazed very intently at the Silver youko. He said nothing. He just waited for the youko to start telling his tale.

The silver youko raised his sorrowful golden eyes. He looked around, making sure no kids were around. Then he sighed in.

"What do you want to know?"

The youkai kept a very stern attitude.

"What do you think I should know?"

Kurama became very pale. He twisted his hands on his lap, nervously, while he looked up at the sky, trying to organize his thoughts and memories.

"The earliest I remember is being left alone on a woods, and watching a silvery male youko giving his back to me and abandoning me there. But I was smart, and I had been well trained. I managed to live on my own very easily. I already had a natural gift for stealing even being still young. After a short while I found the first youko who became head over heels for my looks..."

Kurama paused, testing to see if Hiei would think it was enough. It felt so weird recalling facts so long gone in his past... 1500 years... Most of his memories were fuzzy, hazy, indistinct...

Hiei's firmly inquisitive stare prompetd him to go on.

"He as a  handsome black youko... He atracted me with gifts and with the promise he would make powerful and wise. He knew all about plants and about all kinds of magic. By the time I met him, he was more than 3000 years old. He had lived the age when there was no barrier between Makai and Ningenkai, and demons dwelt freely in the human world. He taught me almost everything I know today and...

"Did you love him?"

Kurama flushed.

"Well... In fact I stayed with him just to learn. Eventually I ended up in his bed, but he never forced me. It was an association based on interest, not on love. He enjoyed my company, and I enjoyed being trained. I was so focused in becoming a powerful youko like him I had no time for real affection. I let him possess my body, and in exchange for his training I treated him with respect; It was all there was. Old lords such as Mukuro and Raizen knew him. He was one of the few youko who managed to make it to the A Level."

"What was his name?"

"Saga."

Hiei shook his head. He had never heard the name.

"I was being taught to be his heir. He taught me to wield my plant-whip. He also taught me tricks like the Fuuka Enbujin. And it was from him I learned the art of concealing seeds in my hair. Saga had a long, flowing black hair, down to his waist, and the fiercest, most intense golden eyes I ever met."

"What happened?"

"He was killed. He had many enemies, mainly among our own demon race. He had  traded slaves during part of his life. He got many vengeanceful enemies because of such occupation."

It was then Hiei showed some emotion - Disgust. He had never appreciated slave traders - it remind him somehow of what those despicable Ningen who had imprisioned his sister Yukina, and the countless bastards who had explored Kinno so much.

Kurama breathed deeper.

"I was young; I think I was in between 120 and 140 when he was trapped and slaughtered. It was needed a whole army to catch him, because he was very powerful. But the enemies were many and he could not resist."

The youko gave Hiei a slight smile, trying to ease his angry disposition. But The fire Youkai remained still and grave.

"After that I left his domains, and I started to gather youkai under my command. I was powerful, even still young, and my first idea was to join a group and avenge my Master's death. But after a while, I gave up the idea. I was young and carefree, but I had many ambitions. There was much to know and conquer, and many treasures to steal. I preferred to find my own adventures than to waste time searching for vengeance. I started an adventuresome life to balance the rigid routine I faced while in Saga's company. I let my hair down. I started to plunder the Makai and kill indiscriminately every youkai I met. I did it for the pleasure and to practice my powers. At that time I had no one; I loved no one." Kurama played with some strands of hair falling along his face and shoulders, quiet for a moment. "I never loved Yomi. This is why he keeps following me and insisting on it..."

"You have been lovers."

"Yes. But it was nothing serious. He was nothing to me but a piece of meat. It was all skin deep on my part, although he is still obssessed for me."

"And you do all you can to keep his flame for you burning hot..."

"Hiei... I didn't tell you about he flowers because I knew you would be upset. Yomi was drooling at me badly while we stayed in his castle. I thought it better to give him some distraction or..."

"Or you would end up in his bed..."

Kurama seemed shocked.

"No! Never!"

Hiei did not continue. He was not jealous of Yomi. He could imagine how much he must have suffered. Even blinded and betrayed, Yomi could not yet set himself free from the non-corresponding love he shared for the silver youko. It made Hiei feel pity, and not jealousy.

"What about that winged youkai called Kuronue?"

Kurama blinked. He felt strangely embarrassed.

He twisted his hands on his lap, and fidgeted in place. He could feel his heart throb, and a sudden tension enveloped his body.

Hiei had never asked him any details about what had happened to Kuronue. He managed to perceive by his altered emotions it must have been grave, and yet he used his discreetion to offer him support, not condemnation. Hiei had accompanied in silence and expectation his fear and his intense guilt when that despicable Demon who followed Lord Yakumo disguised himself as Kuronue to threaten him. He had not asked him anything. He had even tried to help cheering him up afterwards...

There is no one who doesn't have scars on his heart - it is what Hiei had spoken to him then.

"We had been lovers for years. He was the first youkai whom I was indeed affectionate of."

Hiei smiled to himself. He always wanted to know details of their relationship, but being of a taciturn nature, he never asked Kurama directly. He had always expected the youko to tell him voluntarily about these things but it never happened. Even when pushed into the subject once in a while, yet Kurama managed to skip the subject in a foxy fashion.

A painful sigh was heard coming from he youko's lips.

"He died because of me; he died because of my pride and stubordness. I dragged him into a very dangerous assault, where he was mortally wounded. I missed  him so much I promised myself I would never be attached to anyone else." Kurama looked up at Hiei then, and he smiled. "Till I met you..."

The fire youkai did not seem touched by the preference.

"That pretender fooled you for a long while. I remember you were so baffled out of your senses you almost lost that battle."

Kurama agreed, nodding his head softly. In fact what actually started him was not only Kuronue's presence, but the accusations he had suffered.

"Yakumo's warrior managed to impersonate Kuronue with perfection. Kuronue had very distinctive features. He always wore black; I think it was his favorite color. He was a very fast, very nimble kind of demon.  And he wore straps around his arms, and had a whole collection of sharp blades he used in combat..."

Hiei interrupted him with an ill-disposition.

"He did not have a Jagan did he?"

"No, he had wings. A large pair of black-wings..." Kurama smiled then, not noticing Hiei did not like what he was being told...

"I see why you felt attracted for me... Straps around his arms? Dressed in black? Blades?"
 
Kurama became paler yet. He gaped his mouth, and his hands started to tremble from nervousness. Kurama realized in panicm, where that talk was leading them to. But it could not be! Dreams and a deceased appearance could not trigger Hiei's jealousy like that! It was insanity!

"Hiei, it has nothing to do..."

"You seem to have a fixation on black hair. Your master, Kuronue, Yomi... and I..." Hiei stood up, slowly. "I think perhaps in the end I'm just a replacement for Kuronue. You seem to have loved him too much. I see your mood change completely whenever his name is mentioned."

Kurama was scared with what he had heard.

"No! Hiei! Kuronue was tall! He had blue eyes! His hair was waist-lenght!"

Hiei gave his back to Kurama.

"Hiei! Please, stay! I still have a lot to tell you! Don't go, please!"

The youkai shook his head with helplessness. Funny how now Kurama seemed to interested intelling him more about his past. But Hiei had finally made up his mind that in relation to Kurama's past, ignorance was bliss. He loved the silver youko, but he must admit the Dream flower episode made him a little confused. Maybe they needed some time apart. Perhaps they needed a break to be sure of their real feelings towards each other.

Not to mention Kurama had to learn a lesson - He had to learn even little white lies might hurt when they were disclosed. 

Hiei started to step down the hill, leaving Kurama, and the youko jumped up, very tense with his lover's sullen and irrational departure.

"Hiei! Don't walk away on me like that!"

The youkai stopped and looked back at Kurama over one shoulder. He gave the youko a sneer and a derisive sideways glance. Hn! He had cut that haughty fox demon too much slack!

"Why do you want me to stay?"

The youko burst out, nervously.

"The kids. What are they going to think? Hyoko will miss you so much... And Ikki? He's so attached to you. And you can't leave me just because of a past dead lover and some dreams. What about Yomi? If he gets to know you left I'm sure he will come here and annoy me with lots of propositions and invitations. And I can't guarantee for Kinno's safety - If I spent time alone with that stupid bimbo I will end up strangling him to death!  If you leave, who will help me if Yomi's horny son decides to confront me?And your job? I thought you were enjoying the patrol... "

Hiei patiently let the youko babble it all in a long, unstoppable stream. The red-eyed youkai merely observed, aiming a gloomy, penetrating stare at his companion.

Kurama spoke it all in a row, and it was so much he felt out of breath when he finished. He panted and smiled to Hiei, spreading his arms to welcome his partner in a squeezing embrace...

Hiei just snorted.

"Hn. I thought you'd want me to stay because you loved me..."

Kurama grew taut and his expression was frozen in a total shock.

"But I love you!"

Hiei shrugged in a careless fashion. He gave his back to Kurama again.

"Gimme a break!"

Then the youkai just walked down the hill, while Kurama watched him leave, knocked out by surprise.