Chapter Three:
Battle of the Century!?
DISCLAIMER:
Ryouga Hibiki, Ukyou, Kuonji, and Ranma 1/2 are NOT my creations and are all copyright of Rumiko Takahashi, bless her.I claim no credit whatsoever and use them here. So, please don't sue me. I'm broke anyways. All you'd probably get is an I.O.U. hastily scrawled on a cocktail napkin with lipstick. Well, that is, if I could afford to buy a cocktail...Sigh...
Ryouga sped full throttle towards the huge mass of police officer that stood before him, grim determination spread across his face twisting and dancing with unchecked rage. Ukyou could only watch as the man she loved leapt headlong into another fight.
Another fight...for her.
In some ways, she loved him for things like this. She’d never met anyone so dedicated to something in her entire life, and it was more than a little flattering that this overwhelming dedication was soley towards her. She finally began to understand how hard it must have been for him to let go of Akane. It must have been much like how she felt when she lost Ranma, she surmised. Although, it did flash in the back of her mind that it was *still* impossible to lose something you never had to begin with. Still, it hurt, all the same.
The thoughts continued to rocket through her mind as the world seemed to pass around her in slow motion. Although she definantly appreciated Ryouga’s lifelong dedication, if he continued to jump on people like this, he’d eventually wind up seriously injured. Possibly worse, even though he was about as hard to harm as a steel reinforced office building. He could end up crippled, or...or...
She shuddered inwardly and pushed those thoughts from her mind. After their whole ordeal with the four seasons, she never liked to think about things like...that. Instead, she focused back on the world around her. In fact, she was able to see the expressions of everyone else at this exact moment.
Nabiki, being the person that she was, wasn’t worried in the least. At least, she didn’t express it if she was. She still wore her cool, calm, collected buisnesswoman-like demeanor, and actually seemed somewhat amused by the whole thing. Hiroshi, who was at her side (Naturally, of course, Ukyou though with some momentary humor), was paying more attention to her than what was happening. Ukyou often wondered if Hiroshi knew Nabiki was leading him on, or if he was really just that...well, that stupid.
Daisuke was motionless, still maintaining the position he had been in when they had first “encountered” Officer Hinako. In fact, he had barely moved since Ryouga leapt at him. Perhaps he was terrified, or perhaps he was just lazy. Maybe a little of both. Kuno and Sasuke were looking elsewhere, and Ryu, well, he was Ryu. No other explanation was necessary to her. She finally turned just as Ryouga swung out at the brick wall of a Lieutenant.
Then, it happened. Ryouga’s fist smashed soundly into Hinako’s solid chest, with a resoundingly painful sounding ‘thud’...
And Hinako crumpled like a paper doll.
At first, everyone was silent, perhaps stunned by what had happened. The only sound was Hinako’s wheezing coughs and gasps as the air was pressed from his body. Ryouga looked at his hand, then back at Hinako, then at his hand again. Nabiki raised an eyebrow curiously, Hiroshi following in tandem. After a moment, Daisuke stood up and brushed himself off, looking slightly annoyed. He walked over to Hinako and pointed mockingly, and began to laugh.
“Come on, is that it? What a complete loser!” he said between fits of exstatic laughter. Ryouga just looked at the two of them, and then walked over to Ukyou and smiled slightly.
“I...guess I beat him.” He said uncertainly. Ukyou understood perfectly. After all the hardships they had experienced on their trip, this seemed...strange, somehow. Unreal. She reached out and put a hand on Ryouga’s shoulder, and looked over at Hinako, who was struggling to stand, trying in vain to ignore Daisuke’s nagging.
“Looks that way.” She said. There really wasn’t much else that needed to be said. “He had it coming to him.”
“I guess.” Ryouga said. He seemed almost disappointed. In some ways, it made her want to laugh. In another, darker way, it scared her a little. She felt that strange, nagging urge to make him happy, and hugged him tightly.
“Thanks for defending my honor, Ryouga. I couldn’t have asked for a better champion.” She said sweetly. It was a goofy, corny thing to say, but she really did mean it. Well, however it sounded, it worked. She looked up at him to see Ryouga’s face flushing a bright crimson.
“Well, er, um, thanks...I didn’t do much, really...” He half-said, half-mumbled shyly. She smiled warmly at him and he returned it with his typical fanged grin.
Daisuke watched Hinako prop himself up on one arm, gritting his teeth and struggling to stand. Man, He thought irritably, and I was afraid of this guy? He kicked Hinako’s arm out, sending the mountain of a man back onto the ground with a thud. Hinako sneered up at him with a hateful grin.
“I refuse...to be treated...this way...” he said between coughs. Daisuke shook in obviously mocking terror.
“Ohhh, big man! What’re you going to do, Officer Lameass, fall down on me?” Daisuke retorted snidely. Hinako stood slowly, first on one knee, then on his feet, shaking slightly. He was a bit unsteady, but he was mostly shaking from anger. Shoving Daisuke aside, he stomped up to Ryouga, who was still staring dreamily at Ukyou, who stopped smiling suddenly as he approached. The policeman tapped Ryouga’s shoulder roughly, and the Lost Boy turned to face him.
“What do you want now?” Ryouga said, annoyed. Of course, this only served to further Hinako’s anger. By this time, the townsfolk had started to peer out of their windows and doors, daring to see who would challenge the might of their sole police officer.
“I demand a rematch!” Hinako shouted angrily. “It wasn’t fair! You hit me before I was ready!”
“Look. He already beat you. Can’t you just leave us alone already, jackass?” Ukyou said angrily. She was about to continue, but Ryouga held his hand up.
“Hold on, Ucchan.” He said sternly. “I don’t want anyone to say that Ryouga Hibiki fights unfairly. I have a code to uphold.”
“So?” Ukyou said sternly. “You already beat him once. It’s not your fault he wasn’t ready, it’s his. Come on, let’s get out of here.”
Ryouga shook his head and looked at her with his deep, brown eyes. “Please, Ucchan.” He said, and smiled that little fanged smile of his, and she caved in. She turned slightly away and sighed.
“Okay.” She said. “But only this one time, got it?”
He nodded, then turned back to face Hinako, who was still gritting his teeth angrily. “Okay.” He said. “Tell me when you’re ready.”
Hinako smirked triumphantly and straightened the cuffs of his police jacket, then sniffed and stood firmly with his hands at his side.
“Ready.” He grunted.
Ryouga didn’t respond, but instead grabbed Hinako’s face and shoved him, sending him tumbling backwards, landing on the ground with a resounding thud. Ryouga rolled his eyes and walked up to the dazed officer, and looked down at him with a semi-amused, semi-irritated smirk.
“Are you satisfied? There, I just beat you again.” he said. Hinako struggled to look up at him, his short black hair slightly mussed.
“You...you punk kid...you...cheated...cheated me...” Hinako managed to gasp out, still dazed and a little breathless. Ryouga’s face flushed with blood and his anger level began to rise again...quickly.
“Me? Cheat? Wait a second here...How the hell did I cheat you?” he demanded angrily. How dare this man insult his honor like that, he thought sharply.
“You were supposed to hit me, not shove me...I wasn’t prepared...” Hinako said, getting to his feet. Ryouga scowled angrily again as he eyed the “mountain” of a man police officer.
“You said you were ready!” he retorted angrily. Hinako waved his arm dismissingly, a sly smile crossing his face as it was illuminated by the new moonlight.
“Yes, ready for you to hit me, not shove me! That’s against the rules! You cheated!” Hinako whined. Ryouga’s face took on its normal, slightly baffeled appearance.
“Rules?” he said, as if the word were unknown to him. “This is a street fight, moron! There are no rules!”
Hinako chuckled sinisterly. “Oh, but there are, foolish boy! You see, this town is mine, and thus, I make the rules for everything...including street fights! So YOU CHEATED!!!” he shouted, raising his arms triumphantly. In fact, he seemed so ecstatic he began to prance about in a sort of strange victory dance. Confused beyond the capability of rational thought, Ryouga looked back at Ukyou and shrugged his shoulders. She answered him with a silent shaking of her head.
Ryouga turned back to the joyus Hinako. “So,” he said slowly, “You mean I can’t shove you?”
Hinako stopped dancing long enough to nod snidely. “That’s right, bandanna boy! No shoving!” he said gleefully. Ryouga pondered for a minute, then shrugged and walked up behind Hinako, and quickly jump kicked him in the back, sending the big man to his knees, yelping. Then, Ryouga casually strode in front of him and sent the Lieutenant reeling with a quick spinning roundhouse kick to the side of the head. A short distance away, Hiroshi winced painfully.
“Ohhh...” he said under his breath, “Ouch.” He looked over at Nabiki and leaned over to whisper into her ear. “Say, Nabiki, how long do you think this is gonna last?”
Nabiki smirked slightly and shook her head. “Don’t know. Hopefully for a while. This is the most exciting thing that’s happened since I got involved with you people.” Hiroshi pondered for a moment, then tuned back into his surroundings, just in time to see Hinako fly by, followed by a smiling Ryouga. Hinako hit the ground hard, and waved his arms frantically.
“Stop! No throwing! It’s against the rules!” he shouted in a panicked voice, but was cut short as Ryouga tackled him and set about punching him in the stomach and face. Nabiki’s smile widened slightly, and Hiroshi could have sworn he heard a chuckle. It scared him, somewhat. But, only somewhat. Slight dementia he could get use to. He was willing to learn.
Ryouga looked angrily at the still struggling Hinako, who was clutching his side in obvious (although somewhat overexaggerated) anguish.
“There, I BEAT YOU. Are you satisfied now? And I never shoved you once.” he sneered. Hinako smiled darkly and shook his head.
“No.” He gasped in short breaths. “You....still cheated...”
“What!?” Ryouga moaned. “Cheated!? How the hell am I cheating? You said I couldn’t shove you, and I didn’t!”
Hinako chuckled, stopping momentarily to wince. “This is my town, boy. I determine whether or not the rules are broken. I won’t accept you defeating me because you’re breaking the rules to do it.”
Ukyou sighed and placed a hand assuringly on Ryouga’s shoulder. “Hey, sugar, this is stupid,” she said matter-of-factly. “Let’s just go, okay? We don’t have to prove anything to this nutball.”
“No.” Ryouga said defiantly. “He’s questioning my honor, Ucchan. It’s the one thing-”
Ukyou raised an eybrow quizzically, silently telling Ryouga to think very hard before finishing his sentence. Which he did.
“...Er, it’s...a very important...thing. Before I met you, it was really all I had. Not now, of course....but, you know, it’s still a matter of honor.” He finished, somewhat nervously. Ukyou rolled her eyes, groaning laborously at the man she loved.
“I have no idea why I’m putting up with this.” Ukyou said with slight annoyance.
“Because you love me, right?” he said uncertainly. Ukyou rolled her eyes and sighed.
“You’re such a man.” She said snidely. Ryouga’s face became awash with mild confusion, as was generally the case when something was said whose meaning was not blatant.
“Uh...thanks.” he said uncertainly. It sounded like a compliment to him...but not. He pushed it aside for later contemplation. Ukyou shook her head and ignored it as well.
“Listen, sugar,” she said sternly, looking into his eyes. “There is no reason for us to be here. All we are doing is wasting time. We could be on our way back to Nerima right now instead of sticking around with Officer Wet Paper Bag over there and playing ‘Beat Up the Cop’. Now, let’s just get on our way, okay?”
Ryouga sighed and looked away from her slightly. “I guess you’re right, Ucchan.” He said with some sense of dismay. Behind him, Officer Hinako suddenly laughed in a maniacal victory squeal.
“That’s right!” he shouted triumphantly. “Go home! Run away! The law triumphs again!” So said, he began to do his disturbing ‘victory dance’ again. Ryouga growled angrily. Ukyou creased her brow, an indication she was frowning sharply.
“Please, Ucchan.” Ryouga said, not even looking at her. “Please let me beat this guy up. Please...”
Ukyou sighed. Ryouga really seemed intent on beating this guy into a bloody pulp, no matter how he had to do it. And, watching Hinako dance, she knew he really deserved it. Really. Nodding, she turned Ryouga’s head to face her, putting her soft, somewhat small hand on his cheek.
“Okay, fine.” She relented. Ryouga smiled somewhat deviously.
“You’re the greatest, Ucchan.” He said, smiling his fanged smile that drove her so crazy. Smiling, she reached up and gently placed a kiss on his lips.
“Just kick his ass for me.” She said, smiling. “Kick it hard.”
Ryouga nodded, still a little taken aback from her kiss (as he generally was), and put his rough hand over her smaller one. He noted with no small triumph that his nose was not bleeding. Progress is a wonderful thing, he concluded with an inward smile. Then he turned back to Hinako, his face reshaping itself into a look of grim determination.
“Okay, Hinako, no more stupid rules. Let’s fight. Just you and me. Whatever goes, goes.” He said, the anger and impatience obvious in his tone. Hinako stopped his idiotic “victory dance” short and looked at the boy before him.
“Hmmm.” He said, rubbing his chin, feining deep thought. “Anything goes?”
Ryouga groaned inwardly. He had to say ‘Anything Goes’, didn’t he? And to think Ryouga had almost completely worked Ranma out of his system. He nodded slightly.
Hinako looked around causually, rubbed his chin, then, suddenly, his eyes lit up as if in a sudden revelation.
“Well,” he said slowly. “...NO!” he shouted, resuming his victory dance. Ryouga could hear everyone around him (including himself) groan at this seemingly endless exercise in stupidity. Nodding resolutely, Ryouga walked up to Hinako, grasped him by his shoulders, and calmly kneed him in the stomach. Hinako’s eyes rolled back and he exhaled deeply, falling to his knees.
Not wasting a single moment of time, Ryouga uppercutted the hapless cop, knocking him out cold. As the officer’s body fell to the street, the townsfolk were stunned into silence. They looked at Ryouga, wid-eyed. Noticing this, a somewhat nervous ukyou walked up and tapped Ryouga on the shoulder.
“Uhh, Ryo-chan...” she said nervously, and he turned and saw their faces as well. Coughing, he rubbed the back of his head absently, almost unaware that ukyou was now holding onto his free arm. In fact, she barely noticed it herself.
“Uhh...” Ryouga said, glancing at each of them, but not really looking at any of them in particular, “Sorry. About beating up your policeman and all.” He said lowly. The townspeople all looked at each other.
“He deserved what he got.” Ukyou chimed in, suddenly her old, brash self. “He was a pompous moron, and I can’t believe none of you had the spine to stand up to a complete weiner like him anyway.” Ryouga looked at her, taken aback slightly at her sudden outburst. It almost seemed intended to defend him.
Suddenly, the townsfolk all around burst into joyous laughter. Some danced. Some threw confetti and blew horns. Some had noisemakers. One woman even stripped bare and ran through the streets. Daisuke shortly followed, but no one really noticed.
“Hurrah! The tyrant king has fallen!” A man in a trenchcoat and hat said joyfully.
“Thank the gods for these violent children!” chimed in a local storeclerk.
“Get the secret weapon! Hurry, while there’s still time!” added a grocer. A group of townspeople ran towards a small toolshed that neither Ryouga nor Ukyou had ever really noticed before. They exchanged worried glances.
“Secret weapon?” Ukyou said. Ryouga shrugged. The two lovers watched curiously as the group dragged out a large pickle barrel, obviously empty. They lugged it to Officer Hinako’s prone form and studiously stuffed him into it, nailing the lid shut tightly.
“What are you doing?” Ukyou said. One of the townsfolk smiled evilly.
“We’ve been waiting for a chance to rid ourselves of this idiot for a while now. We’re going to take this barrel and throw it into a river!” he said, laughing maniacally.
“Full of water!” another chirped proudly. Ukyou rolled her eyes. Not surprisingly, Ryouga looked confused.
“Wait a minute, there aren’t any rivers near here.” He said thoughtfully. The townspeople looked at him, then the barrell, then each other.
“Oh yeah.” One said. “Damn.”
“Wait!” another shouted. “I have an idea!”
So said, the townfolk present huddled together and began to murmur amongst themselves. Ukyou leaned over and whispered into Ryouga’s ear.
“No wonder Hinako could manipulate these people. They’re as stupid as he is.” She said. Ryouga could only nod. Eventually, the “town meeting” was over.
“So...” Hiroshi said, deciding to chime in, as this spectacle had aroused his interest, “What did you decide to do?”
“We’re going to kick the barrel off of a hill. It’ll roll until it finds a river, then fall in!” one townsfolk said proudly. Hiroshi groaned.
“A truly brilliant plan.” He said snidely, but no one either noticed nor cared. They were already busying themselves for the work ahead. Ryouga turned and looked at Ukyou, who was still a little befuddled.
“Let’s get the hell out of here.” He said quietly. “These people...bother me. They’re very...strange...”
Ukyou nodded, and the two began to walk out of town silently, the rest of the strange group following in stride. In the distance, the moonlight shone brightly.
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End of Chapter Three...