Hello Morning 11/04/01 Translation version 0.2 Nar: Last week, the new members who appeared on Hello Morning for the first time were abruptly "baptized" by playing the program's famous game. Chyron: Last time- new members appeared for the first time Chyron changes when Konno appears: An abrupt baptism Nar: This week will be more exciting! Chyron: Hello Morning Nar: The second part of the welcoming of the new members will be done by reviving an old game for a challenge! What will happen to them? Chryon: The challenge of the legendary game Nar: and they will appear in this tale for the first time! Can they do it well? Chyron: New members first appearance in the tale Nar: Also today the explosive Pyonseijin (translator's note: aliens from the planet Pyon but it's easier to say Pyonseijin). Chryon: Also today the explosive Pyonseijin!! Nar: The leader's fury is explosive too! Chryon: Coming up next: The revival of the big karaoke battle: Big collision!! (translator's not, not totally sure on the big collison part, but that's the best I can do to make out the kanji considering the quality of the source) Commercial break #1 Nar: Hello Morning Theater: Until the bus arrives Chyron: Hello Morning Theater: Until the bus arrives Sign on building: Pain Well Hospital Nar: In the city, there is a bus stop on the corner that the Hello Morning Girls' school students use often. Chyron: Hello Morning Girls' School Teacher* Yuko Nakazawa Nacchi: I'm sorry Nakazawa-sensei Chyron: Hello Morning Girl's School 2nd Year Class B Natsumi Abe Yuko: Eh? Nacchi: I just bumped into you a little bit, please don't get so mad. Yuko: I'm not mad. Nacchi: Yes you are, you've taken such an angry stance! Yuko: Just a second, this is a bus stop sign. I'm Nakazawa-sensei. Nacchi: Oh, there you are. Good morning. Yuko: Good morning Abe-san. It's good that you're studying, but it's dangerous if you don't watch where you're walking. Nacchi: You're right, I'll be more careful. Kaori: Fight! 5th gen: Yeah! Kaori: Fight! 5th gen: Yeah! Kaori: Turn right! Introduce yourselves to your sensei and senpai. (translator's note: I assume people know what sensei-teach anbd senpai-upperclassman mean) Chyron: Hello Morning Girls' High School 3rd year class B Kaori Iida Risa & Chryon: Middle School 1st year class B Risa Niigaki Makoto and Chyron: Middle school 3rd year Class A Makoto Ogawa Ai and Chyron: Middle School 3rd year class B Ai Takahashi Asami and Chyron: Middle schhol 1st year class C Asami Konno Yuko: Iida-san, what are you doing so early in the morning? Kaori (speaking in masculine tone): They're on the middle school basketball team, and they told me they wanted to be stronger, so I'm helping them. Nacchi: Ah, Iida-san, you talk like a tough guy but you've got a kind heart. Kaori: Quit it, you're embarassing me. Nacchi: what incredible power! Kaori: Ok everyone, let's continue your training! Turn left! Fight! 5th gen: Yeah! Koari: Fight! 5th gen: Yeah! Nacchi: That girl's going the wrong way... Yuko: She's strange... Nacchi: Yeah, oh, speaking of strange, that Yoshizawa-san that just came back to Japan... Yuko: Oh, she can't speak Japanese well yet can she? Nacchi: Yes, that's right. And also she's picked up foreign customs/habits too. It's a hassle. Yuko: Foreign customs? Nacchi: Yes...the other day in the classroom, she was making this noise about Halloween halloween and it was annoying. Yuko: I see, that's a hassle. Yuko & Nacchi: Ah! Hitomi: Hi! Halloween! Yuko: Yoshizawa-san? Hitomi: Halloween! Yuko: Halloween's fine, but don't bring this stuff to school, leave it at home! Hitomi: But it's fun! Yuko: you're the only one having fun! Leave that stuff at home, it's not for school. Hitomi: Sensei, your head is itchy isn't it? Chyron: Hello morning girls' school 2nd year class C Hitomi Yoshizawa. Yuko: It's not itchy at all. Hitomi: Sensei, your head is smelly isn't it? Yuko: I wash it well. Hitomi: Sensei, your head is hard...isn't it? Heh. Yuko: She put it back on. It looks like it'll take her time to readjust to Japanese customs. Nacchi: Yes. Chyron: Old woman-Kei Yasuda Kei: It hurts, it hurts... Nacchi: Hey Obaachan, good morning! (Translator's note: Obaachan is an affectionate term for an elder woman). Kei: Ah, morning. Hey you, you shouldn't be hanging out with a delinquent like that. Nacchi: Delinquent? Kei: With her hair the color of takuwan (pickled radish)...that's something a delinquent would do. Nacchi: Delinquent...obaachan, she's a teacher at Hello Morning Girls' school. Kei: She's like that and she's a teacher? Eeeeeeek! Nacchi: Obaachan, obaachan, obaachan, are you ok? Kei: Well then... Narrator: Coming up later, old lady Yasuda in a big pinch! Chyron: Coming up later, old lady Yasuda in big trouble!? Commercial break #2 Kei: Ug...well well...the pain! Yuko: Obaachan! Are you ok? Nacchi: Hang in there Obaachan! Yuko: What's the matter Obaachan? Nacchi: Obaachan! Yuko: Abe-san, go call the doctor. Nacchi: Ok. Yuko: Obaachan! Nacchi: Doctor, please come quick! Doctor: What's the matter? Chryon: Doctor-Michiyo Heike Nacchi: The old woman's in trouble! Michiyo: Yasuda-san! Are you ok? I'll take a look at you. Nacchi: Hang on! Yuko: Huh? Just a sec...Mi-chan? You're Mi-chan! Remember when we were little? Obaachan, you're in the way! I'm Yuko Nakazawa! Kei: Doctor, doctor? Michiyo: Yu-chan? Yuko: Yeah! Yuko & Michiyo: It's been such a long time! Yuko: You've become a doctor. Michiyo: I've been here since 6 months ago. Yuko: 6 months ago? How nostalgic, do you want to go for some tea? Michiyo: That sounds good. Yuko: Let's go get some right over there. Yuko and Michiyo: Let's go let's go let's go. Kei: Ow! It hurts!!!! Nacchi: What about Obaachan? Yuko: Obaachan! Nacchi: Obaachan, are you ok? Kei: No I'm not, I'm in pain... Michiyo: We should take you inside. Kei: It's like a bear attacked me... All: Let's go in; don't strain yourself. Kaori: Konno! Konno! Where'd you go? Hey! Nacchi: I'm glad Obaachan's problem wasn't serious. Yuko: I'm worried about her head though... Nacchi: Me too. Yuko: Really. Nacchi: Ah, Rika-chan? Chyron: Hello Morning Girl's School 2nd year class A Rika Ishikawa Yuko: Why does she look so sad? Nacchi: She's always like that... Yuko: oh. Rika: Humans are sad aren't they? Yuko: What's the matter? Rika: when I woke up this morning I had "racoon" eyes! Chyron: Racoon eyes Nacchi: No way, you've got no idea Rika-chan. Maki (as Fumimaro, who uses polite male speech): I understand... Chyron: Good-looking boy Fumimaro Ayanokouji -Maki Goto Maki: I understand your feelings... Chyron: racoon eyes Yuko: Who's that? Nacchi: That's Fumimaro Ayanokouji from Poetic Narcissist High School. Yuko: Oh, that's who that is, I've heard the rumors. They're really ? (translator's note: the adjective is unintelligible to me) Maki: It is impossible to have genuine, total sorrow, along with genuine, total hapiness. Tolstoy. Chryon: Great writer Tolstoy. Nar: Let's explain...Tolstoy is a famous Russian writer who wrote about the path of life. Rika: I'm going home. Yuko: What are you saying? Come on, let's go to school. Rika: I can't go with such sadness... Yuko: It'll be ok, let's go to school together. Rika: I can't. Yuko: Ishikawa-san! Eii! (sound of physical exertion) Rika: Aaaah! Nacchi: Whoah! Yuko lapses into Yakuza/Kansai-dialect: Hey! What's wrong with having racoon eyes? Think you can always look cool and worrisome? Eh? Someone who just studies and watches TV can't get racoon eyes! Just go to bed earlier and they'll go away! (translator's note, due to speaking slurred and fast and in a weird dialect, Yuko kind of lost me on this part of her speech, I did my best but take it with a large helping of salt). It'll get better. Don't lose! Don't lose to mere racoon eyes! Shit! Rika: I understand! Rika will do her best! (translator's note: In Japanese it's not all that uncommon to speak in 3rd person). Yuko: You will? Ok, let's go to school. Rika: Ok. Yuko: What a face you had... Rika: I'm ok now. Kaori: Fight! Asami: Yeah! Kaori: Fight! Asami: Yeah! Kaori: Fight! Asami: Yeah! Kaori: Don't space out on me! Asami: Ok! Kaori: Turn left! Fight! Asami: Yeah! Kaori: Fight! Asami: Yeah! Chyron: Until the bus arrives Song performance: Mr. Moonlight I decided not to translate songs or commercials...if people want song translations, I'm sure there are tons elsewhere. I want to do this project for the comedy/game skits. Bumper Kaori: The plan for adding new members... Kei: The special we've gotta play! Yuko: The second part (translator's note, I assume the first part was in last week's episode) don't say the last phrase! All: Don't say it! Hey hey hey hey! Don't say it! Hey hey hey hey! Various: How nostalgic...it's been such a long time since we played this. Yuko: The Blue 7 played last time. You made mistakes though... Mari: The something or other 7... (yes, that's what she says "nandaka 7") Nacchi: Now we have disciples! Yuko: Last week, we tested the new members' reactions with the buura buura (dangle dangle) game, some of them cried...now we're going to play the famous hello morning game "don't say the last phrase!" Applause Yuko: Now the new members will sing the Morning Musume songs on TV for the first time. Chyron: New members sing sing songs on Tv for the first time!! Yuko: Old songs too. For the first time. Kei: And solo too. Yuko: Yeah. Kei: I'm so nervous... Yuko & Chyron: But you're not a new member. Nar & Chyron : The members will try to sing the lines to the song in order. The one to sing the last line to the song loses. Nar&Chyron: Each member can sing up to 3 phrases. Yuko: And I will participate as well. Chyron: Old Girl Special Nakazawa Participation (translator's note, OG stands for Old Girl/alumnus thanks to macat for the info) Yuko: I deserve to try too! Mari: You're allowed. Nar and Chyron: Time to shuffle the order of the participants Yuko: Even those of you who aren't singing should still be excited and have fun! Various: Ok! Yuko: Here we go! Daite Hold on Me! Start the music! Chyron: Round 1 "Daite Hold on Me!" Translator's note: it's another song, the lyrics are on the screen, I'm sure you know where to find translations if you want them. Chyon: Loser- Yuko Nakazawa All make noises and Banzai! Yuko: It's been so many months, I forgot the music! This was terrible! Tsuji, you piss me off! Bumper Yuko: Ok, let's all get fired up for the next one! Here we go. Chyron: Round 2: Koi no Dance Site Chyron: Loser: Yuko Nakazawa All babbling at onceMari: Yu-chan just lost again! Yuko: I did? Yuko: Did I just lose? But I dragged you into it too. Kaori: Why didn't you let me go when it was your turn? Mari says something but Kaori is laughing too loud Kaori: It was your turn! I didn't deserve to get sprayed with CO2! Nar: Way on the other side of space, there were some obscure aliens planing to dominate the earth. Nar: These aliens were studying the earth to come up with a strategy. Chyron & members' narration: Minimoni- Pyon-seijin! (aliens from the planet Pyon) Translator's note: The members of this storyline end their sentances with "pyon". It doesn't mean anything, I think it's just done to be cute. So since it has no translation, I left it in as "pyon". Mari: Pyon-seijin, assemble! Nozomi & Mika: Pyon! Mari: Ok, sound off! Nozomi: Pyon! Mika: Pyon! Ai: Pyon. Mari: Is everyone here? No they're not! Tsuji-pyon, it certainly doesn't look like it! Chyron: Pyon-seijin Yaguchi-pyon, Tsuji-pyon, Mika-pyon Mika: What's wrong Oyobin? (translator's note: Oyobi is something a group of thugs call their boss, they use Oyobin in this case because it sounds cutsie) Mari: Where's Kago-pyon? Mika: She's trying to raise her allowance so she's at home helping her mom. Mari: Oh, in order to raise her allowance pyon. Picture of Kago-pyon: Performing plan "help mom in order to raise allowance" Nar: Kago-pyon is taking a break to raise her allowance pyon! Mari: So what does everyone use their allowances for? Mika: I, Mika-pyon, use my allowance to see movies, go to concerts, read books... Mari: Ah, that's what you do is it pyon? What about you Tsuji-pyon? Tsuji: I eat cake, eat cake, eat cake, and in addition, eat mochi. Mari: I see. All you do is it don't you pyon? Anything else? Mika: Yes! I'm using my extra money to help dominate the earth! Chyron: using money Tsuji: I'm using my extra money to eat to help dominate the earth! Chyron: Eat Mari: Hey! Tsuji makes panic sounds Mari: Stick out your tail! If pyon-seijin they get zapped in the tail they lose their energy! (translator's note, Mari says lose their genki, and we all know genki has a myriad of meanings) Mari: Ugyuuuu! (no translation, just an angry zapping sound effect) Mari: Did you calm down? Tsuji: Yes I did. Mari: Do the contemplation pose. Chyron: Tsuji-pyon baby monkey wind (that's what the 3 kanji are, maybe it's a pun or something) Mari: You're making me nauseous pyon. Chyron: Tsuji-pyon comtemplation pose failed Mari: You're making me nauseous pyon, and surprised pyon. Big boss: It's all well and good that you have a good appetite. (I'm not totally sure because it's hard to tell what big boss is saying because it is speaking a weird dialect and with voice altering effects) Picture in corner: Voice on phone- big boss Tsuji: That's right, big boss-sama. (sama is added for added respect). Big boss: But you have to do more than just eat. I'm going to send you a new item, so study it well! Robot: Next item to study, next item to study... Chyron: Earth domnination item #004. Mari and Chyron: You can have fun now and smile later. Mari: Do you know how to use this item? Mika: Oh yeah boss! Mari: Yeah? Mika: You use it for black magic! Mika: Turn Tsuji-pyon into a bad girl...into a bad girl! Tsuji: Huh? Huh? Huh? Signs in the background: Danger! Danger! Mari: Your eyes look scary pyon! Bird picture: knee attack Mari: Ow...counterattack! Mari: That surprised me pyon! That's not what you use this for pyon! Mari: It's a coin bank pyon! (Mari says "chokinbako", which translates to "box for saved money" so I suppose you could translate it as "piggy bank" though it doesn't look like a pig) Tsuji & Mika: Coin bank! Coin bank! Nar: These are other types of coin banks pyon! Chyron: Mechanical coin banks Mari: Ok, first let's put some money into the coin banks pyon. Tsuji-pyon, you start pyon. Tsuji: Roger. Mari: Alright, go for it! Mika: Oh, cool pyon! Mari: That was quite a sight pyon! Tsuji: Let's put in some more* (it's hard to know for sure what she says because Mika is talking louder at the same time) Mika: Can't we just put the money in ourselves pyon? Nar & Chyron: If you say that, it's all over Mari: How about this one, the kissing lovers? Mika: Where do you put the money in this one pyon? Mari: Oh...huh? All: Where did it go? Robot voice and Chyron: Slow-motion replay Mari: This thing is mysterious... Mari: Shall we move on to the next one pyon? Mari: Here it goes... Mari: Oh, the leg...the leg came out! Mari: This one's sexy pyon isn't it? Mari from Koi no Dance Site PV: Sexy beam! Tsuji: Like this? Like this? Mari: Tsuji-pyon, that's dirty pyon. Chyron: Educational leadership (if you want to be less literal and more in context, you could translate as "learned from leader") Nar: Tsuji has a hidden history with sexy poses Mari: How about this one pyon? How will this one grab it pyon? Mari: They're a married couple pyon. Tsuji & Mika: What...what just happened? Mari: Something was born! Nar: It's the wonderful birth of life Chyron: Please take another look at the birth of life Mari: This one is interesting pyon isn't it? You just see it for an instant pyon. Mika: Oyobin...How do we assault the earth using coin banks pyon? Mari: What will happen if we give them out pyon? Mika: They'll be sad and save their money pyon! Mari: And what happens after you sadly save money? Tsuji: People won't have money on hand anymore, so they won't be able to buy tickets for the train pyon. Mari: And what happens if you can't buy tickets pyon? Mika: Everyone will have to walk to work or school, so they'll be exhausted and woozy pyon! Mari: Right! When they are all exhausted and woozy, if we raid the earth we'll be able to win without fighting pyon! Mari & first Chyron: We'll call it the "give out coin banks, no money for the train, exhausted and woozy" plan! 2nd chyron: "give out coin banks, no money for the train exhsuted and woozy plan" (yes, all the second chyron did is add "plan" to the end) Tsuji & mika: Yay! Mari: It's perfect pyon! Let's aim for earth domination! Hey! hey! All: Pyoooon! Mika: That's our oyobin! Mari: Thanks...you guys helped too... Nar: Will they be able to carry this out when they haven't realized they just put their own allowances in the coin banks? Chyron: To be continued pyon Bumper Yuko: Ok, time for the last song! There's a lot riding on this one, let's go! Chyron: Round.3 Love Machine (I bet you couldn't figure that one out lol) Yuko: Love Machine! Start the music! Chyron: Loser- Ai Takahashi All: come here, come here... Someone: Yu-chan, go see how she is...quickly. Nachi: Cold? Yuko: Are you ok? Ai T: I'm ok... Yuko: They really got you there...how did the CO2 feel? Ai T: It felt good. Nacchi: No way! Yuko: Was it fun? Ai T: It was. Yuko: That's good. Yuko: Ok, that was the "don't say the last phrase!" game. Charmy/Rika: Tarzan! Aaaaahhhhhhh! Nar: Charmy, where are you going? Chyron: Coming up next, Charmy goes berserk again this week! Commercial break Rika & Chyron: Newscaster, running around the jungle in pursuit of justice, Tarzan! Aaaaahhh! Rika: I'm Charmy Ishikawa Chyron: Newscaster Charmy Ishikawa Yuko: You're weird... Rika: Aaaahhhhh! Yuko: How should I say it...I knew it was inevitable that Morning Musume would become weird... (I'm not totally sure of this line) Yuko: Beauty Commentator Yuko Nakazawa, yoroshiku onegai shimasu (chances are many people reading this already know that phrase, it doesn't translate well into English in this context, but you could say "pleased to meet you"). Rika: Yoroshiku onegai shimasu! Chyron: Hello-pro commentator Yuko Nakazawa Yuko: what's with the uncoordinated applause? Rika: When did you add "beauty" to "commentator"? Yuko: Ever since I was born Rika: Please forgive me. Yuko: Hey, I'm the physical embodiment of beauty, aren't I? Rika: Ah... Yuko: What do you mean "ah"? Rika: Am I too? Yuko: What are you the physical embodiment of? Rika: Charmy Ishikawa is the embodiment of "charming". Yuko: Oh really? Rika: Sounds good. Rika: Ok, now it's time for this week's news. Rika: It has been decided that Sexy Mi-chan, Michiyo Heike, will release her new single "Propose" on November 11th. Rika: So first, we would like to present the song live. Here it is! Yuko: So this is a marriage-theme song isn't it? Rika: Yes it was, wasn't it... Yuko: By the way, I heard Michiyo went to a wedding ceremony. Yuko: and when she was there, I hear she caught the bouquet. Rika: That's great! Yuko: Do you know what it means to catch the bouquet? Rika: It means you'll be the next to get married and it'll be really soon right? Yuko: Well I don't know about "soon"... Yuko: Well how should I say it, it would be bad if I got married before her. She's the first member of hello project. Rika: Yeah. Yuko: But she's younger than me. Rika: I see... Yuko: Let's see, she's 22... Rika & chyron: Oh, then she's too young. Yuko: What was that? Yuko: Wait just a second... Rika: I didn't mean it... Yuko: Even though I'm lower in hello project seniority, I really want to get married. Rika: I understand...well it's fine the way it is. (Noises) Yuko: You're just a kid... Rika: Excuse me. Well there you have it, that's the end of hello project news. Ciao! Yuko: You're weird. Chyron: Withdraw Rika: No! Yuko: Don't struggle, it's dangerous! Rika: What's this? Nar & Chyron: Who is this week's NG musume? (translator's note: you probably already know what NG means, but just in case, it's "no good" as in making mistakes while shooting for television or movies) Commercial Chyron: Today's NG Musume (yes, I know before they said "this week" and now they're saying "today") Maki: I understand your feelings...