Shinji lay in his bed pondering. <Why me? Why would anyone want to
love me? Am I special? I mean, I do pilot Eva, but
other than that, I am just ordinary. > What he didn’t know was that
he was special. He was different from every other
person on Earth. As was every other person on earth different from
each other. This made him special. This made him
special to Asuka. Although his self-confidence had grown in the past
couple of weeks, he still felt that he was unworthy
of anything but the barest minimum of praise or love.
He looked over at the clock. It said 7:00. <Why do I have a bad feeling
about today? I guess Asuka is going to get tired of
me, and dump me or something. I guess she’s just tired of me waiting
when it comes to the sexual part of our relationship.
She just doesn’t understand. >
He got up, and stood before the dressers as though they were supposed
to open on their own. After a few moments, he
opened it, and removed his clothes. He started dressing when the faint
droning of sirens could be heard walking across
the city, and finally right outside the apartment complex that he called
home.
Misato called down the hall, "Shinji, Asuka! Get up, we have to get to headquarters, pronto!"
Shinji finished dressing, then ran out of his room, and right into Asuka.
"Hey, watch it! Oh, it’s you Shinji." That statement brought at least
a small measure of comfort to him. "By the way, I need
to talk to you, when we get some time." Uh-oh.
They ran down the hall, and found Misato coming out of her room, partially
dressed, but hurriedly throwing clothing on
her body. "Shinji, here are the keys, go get the car started. Asuka,
see if you can find my bag in there real quick." She said
pointing into her room.
"Ok." Asuka didn’t like taking commands, but if it would get them out
of the house quicker, and down to NERV, she could
handle it. She picked her way through the room, wondering if there
was actually a floor under all that mess. She spied the
bag in question, and also saw a thin notebook. Glancing at the notebook,
she found it was about her. "SECOND CHILD:
SPECULATIONS ON ACTIVITIES" was written neatly across the front. "Hmmm."
She picked up the bag along with the
notebook. Leaving the room, she flung the notebook in her room, and
took the bag to Misato, who was waiting in the
living room, frantically putting on her jacket.
After getting the keys, Shinji raced down the hall, and into the stairs.
They would be faster. When he reached the bottom,
he ran out to the car, and got in. After starting it up, however, he
figured he would make it easier for them, so he put it in
gear, and backed out of the space, and put it in drive. Intending to
go forward slowly, he lightly touched the gas, and the
car lurched forwards, and his foot slammed down in surprise.
Misato exited the building to see her car racing around the parking
lot, narrowly missing cars, and swerving all over the
place before it finally came to an abrupt stop in front of the building.
She ran out to her car, and opened the door. "What
are you doing? Are you trying to kill yourself? All I asked you to
do was start up the car. Move over."
"I’m sorry Misato, I was just trying to help; I wanted to bring the
car around to the front." He scooted over so that the
seat could be leaned over, and Asuka got in back. Misato stepped in,
and it seemed like she hadn’t even closed the door,
before they were racing down the road, juking left and right to miss
cars.
They made it to Nerv a few minutes later, and found that defensive preparations
were already underway. Dr. Akagi sat
behind a computer console, typing furiously. "I was wondering when
you would decide to show up."
"Yeah, well, unlike other people, I actually live at home. What is it?"
"We can’t tell much right now. Our sensors can’t get a good look at
it. It is staying in the upper atmosphere, between
layers of clouds. We know it’s near the average size and displacement
of the first few angels, but it isn’t giving off any
energy readings whatsoever. So far all it has done is hover there.
A weather satellite picked it up this morning. It just
seamed to appear. Look at this." Ritsuko showed her a printout. On
it was several pictures, arranged like videotape. On
two there were just clouds, then on the third a large hard to make
out shape appeared.
"What is the status of the Evas?" She asked.
"All units ready for startup procedure."
"Good. Shinji, you and Asuka go get your suits on, it’s time to go to
work. When you get back, we may have a briefing for
you."
Shinji and Asuka hurried to the locker room, not taking the time to say much to each other.
After dressing, they were told to go to the briefing room. Rei, Fuyutsuki,
Ritsuko, Misato, and the tech crew were inside.
They sat down, and the briefing began.
"This is the angel. It hasn’t made any moves yet, but it is hovering
about 7½ miles above sea level directly over Central
Dogma." An outline of the Angel appeared on the screen as she spoke,
rotating a full 360 degrees. It was a large sphere
studded with long sharp spikes placed seemingly randomly on its surface.
"We don’t know anything about it yet, except
that we are unable to detect any energy readings in it. This is to
say that it is strange, because it isn’t using any energy to
hold itself off the ground. It may have a naturally occurring negative
gravity-well, but that is all we can come up with."
The image changed to a map of the surface. "All three units will deploy.
You will be spread out like so. One mile from
epicenter, in 120 degree directions." The map showed three dots forming
a triangle around the overlay of Central Dogma,
each a mile from the center of it. "Everyone understand? Good. This
is going to be a reconnaissance mission. That means
that you will not fire until fired upon, and you will make no aggressive
movements towards it, until told to do so. Right
now, we just want to know if it will do anything in your presence.
That’s all I have, report to your stations."
Far above the city that was Tokyo-3, the angel watched and waited for
it’s adversary to make itself known. After a while,
they finally appeared, and took up positions around their base directly
below it. It thought about descending, and dealing
with them, but it figured it might hurt itself unnecessarily by staying
in the city. So it slowly moved north, towards some
mountains, and woodlands.
Below in Unit 01, Shinji was trying to figure out what was happening.
The Angel had moved like they said it probably
would, but it was moving away from them! Was it fleeing? Then it stopped.
"Misato, what is it doing? Should we follow
it?"
"Stay put for right now, I’ll be back in a second."
Another screen popped up, and Asuka’s face appeared. "Shinji, don’t
go running off to fight it without me. I don’t want to
lose you like last time. I know I may have been a little callused then,
but I don’t want anything to happen to you. OK?"
Misato came back on the screen. "OK you three, I want you to follow
it as best you can. Try to keep the current formation,
I also want you to follow it at its speed. Don’t gain any ground."
"Roger"
"Yes ma’am."
"Who put her in charge, anyway?" Asuka whispered.
"Actually my father did."
"Well, she doesn’t have to be so bossy. It’s not like we’re stupid or something."
The three Evas moved out slowly, keeping their distance with the Angel.
After a while, they dropped their umbilicals,
because they had reached the limit of their reach. After getting new
ones, they each continued their trek.
"Misato, how far outside the city do the umbilicals go?" Shinji dared to ask.
"We have them installed for about 12 miles outside the city. We hoped
to extend the range farther, but funding was not
great enough to do so."
The angel kept moving at an incredibly slow pace. It was nearing darkfall
when it finally came to a stop. It began slowly
descending.
"Ma’am, what should we do. It’s not falling on us. It’s like a controlled descent."
"Wait for it to make the first move. This has turned from a recon to
a standoff. We were unable to gain any more
information about it, except that it is using an increasing amount
of energy to descend. It’s like it has to work to get closer
to the ground. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing."
"Why do you say that?" Shinji asked hopefully.
"Well, taking that much energy just to stay on a level to fight you,
it may be drained far below it’s normal operating
abilities. But at the same time, by showing us that it uses that much
power for something as trivial as staying on the
ground, instead of fighting, it shows us that it must control a huge
amount of power."
They stood there for a few minutes, waiting for it to descend. When finally it did. It sat for a while, taking it’s time.
Shinji eyed it when a strange sensation came over him. "Asuka Rei move back! Hurry!"
"What’s the matter?"
Just then, the Angel pumped up, then back down like a heart, and a loud
thud shook, then radiating out from the Angel a
shockwave-like AT field rolled out of it, flattening and destroying
trees in every direction. They could see the
compressioon wave coming for them, but were powerless to react. It
hit Rei’s Eva so hard that she flew back into a
mountain, and slid for about half a mile. Asuka and Shinji were just
knocked down.
"Holy shit!"
"Did you see that?"
Getting up, Shinji contacted Asuka. "Are you OK?"
"Yeah, what about wondergirl? It looked like it hurt."
"Rei are you alright?"
"Shinji, what happened?" Misato came on.
"I am alright." Rei said monotonously.
"It looked like the Angel made an AT field like an explosion, it destroyed
the forest everywhere around us, and knocked all
of us down."
"The satellite picture shows that the blast took out a huge amount of
forest. That AT field just mowed it down. Shinji, we
need some offense, now, we can’t just let that Angel walk over us like
that. There is a heavy proton rifle in the arms
building on the northern most side of the city. Get it." Misato said.
"Asuka, you and Rei back off a little. Since Shinji is closest, he is going to get a weapon.
Shinji ran his Eva across the forest, and snatched the rifle without
slowing. Jumping, he landed on top of a building, did a
quick turn around move, and raced back the way he had come.
"OK, Shinji, unfold your AT field, and fire when ready. I am pretty
sure something will come up so that it won’t be that
easy, but this is at least a step towards finding out what it is."
Shinji stepped forward, and expanded hi AT field. The air shimmered
for a second. "Here it goes." His Eva took up a
classic standing firing position.
Energy-laced rounds and crackling lightning belched out of the muzzle
of the weapon. Seeing that it wasn’t doing
anything, he advanced, starting with a walk, then to a jog, finally
at a dead run he realized that he just wasn’t going to
penetrate the AT field. The weapon fired dry, he spun about, and ran
back for the perimeter of the destruction. The
expected blast from the Angel caught up with him while he was only
halfway back. His Eva, caught in the throes of the
compression, tumbled forward many times before finally coming to a
stop a quarter of the way to the perimeter.
"Unnhh."
"Shinji!"
"I’m OK. Just gimme a minute." His Eva rose slowly, looking like it
was a drunk man, wobbling to and fro, finally getting
it’s bearings, and making it’s way back to the outside.
"Can we get a reading on the power behind that AT field while it’s in defensive mode?" Misato asked in the control room.
"Maybe. The extrapolation program is not quite complete, but it should
give us at lease something to go by." Dr. Akagi
stated.
"How does it work?"
"It works by taking data from previous instances, then runs the data
through an algorithm to show a graphic
representation of the field." She explained.
The view showed up on Shinji’s interior just as it had on the other
Evas. There was a large pinkish hemisphere over the
Angel that was pretty thick. "This shows that the AT field is very
powerful, but that it is even stronger when it uses it in
the offense." The view shifted, and showed an animation of the same
field only brighter radiating from the Angel.
"OK, you guys pull back, and we’ll do some brainstorming here. The Angel
doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere. In any
case, keep your Evas powered up, in case it does something. Immediately
respond if something happens." Misato
disappeared from his screen. He joined Asuka and Rei outside the circle
of destruction.
After about 30 minutes, Misato came back on. "OK, we have a little plan.
Shinji, you and Asuka are on a secure channel. I
am afraid that Commander Ikari doesn’t want Rei to know about your
little…ability."
"Why what about it?" Asuka asked.
"You told her?" Shinji asked, not knowing about Misato and Asuka’s discussion
from a few weeks before. They had
explored the dreamworld, and it’s possibilities for many hours, finding
out what they could and could not do. They had
even found out that they could do things in reality while they were
in the dreamstate. They could see reality through their
own eyes or from alternate points of view. But all that Asuka had revealed
to Misato was that she and Shinji shared the
connection, and that they loved each other.
"I…I had no choice. If I had waited and kept it a secret, and she had found out, she would have been hurt."
"Hey, you two, we can settle this later. Right now, we need your talent."
"Ok, what is it." Shinji replied exasperated.
"I want you two to power up your AT fields."
"What so special about that?" Asuka asked. "We have tried neutralizing its AT field. That didn’t work now did it?"
"No, but you didn’t let me finish. After your done, stay synched with
your Evas, and go to sleep. Rei is going to fire
another volley at the target, this time doing some damage…theoretically
at least. We noticed that while you slept…."
Suddenly Misato was cut off, and Commander Ikari’s voice only box came
up.
"This information has no relevance to the situation at this time. It
will be revealed to you when it is appropriate. Now, do
as the director says. That is all."
"Why do they always have to be like that?"
In the control room, Misato was fuming with anger. She didn’t like being
cut off like that. All Ikari had to do was say don’t
tell them about it, and she wouldn’t. She didn’t like secrecy, but
she still respected his authority. She just gritted her teeth,
and bore the humiliation.
In a moment, she reestablished a connection.
Misato’s image appeared again, and Shinji was relieved. "Misato, Asuka and I are going to start now."
"Good luck." Misato said. She gave him a slight smile, and her window disappeared.
"Expanding AT field." The air shimmered once more, this time before
both Evas. Shinji, who was feeling tired from a day of
inactivity, smiled at Asuka, and adjusted himself in the chair.
Asuka looked at him a moment longer, then started to go to sleep herself.
She met him in the same empty space as the first
time. "Shinji, I’m sorry about not telling you. I didn’t want to hurt
Misato. She does mean a lot to me, regardless of how I
treat her."
"I know, it just…took me by surprise. That’s all. What did she say about us?"
"She told me that she figured that we were an item, but didn’t know
for sure. I found a notebook in her room this morning;
I was planning on looking at it when we get back home. It’s about me,
and I want to know what she is reporting."
"Even though it doesn’t seem right, I have wanted to know what she reports
on me as well. I have noticed Nerv
intelligence following me sometimes."
"Well, I think that since we haven’t met like this for a while, we ought to have some fun, don’t you think?"
"Maybe a little, but how about just kissing. I don’t think I can handle
much more right now, and we are in the middle of a
crisis."
"I understand. I don’t want you rushed. That makes it less attractive
if it’s rushed." Reached for him, and brought her face
towards him. At the moment that their lips touched, They were both
reminded about how much they loved each other. The
waves of emotion crashed over them, and they soon found themselves
holding each other, lying on the ground. Just
holding each other tightly.
Shinji thought to himself. <Why do I have to be like that? I am taking
away from her experience by delaying it. I should be
man enough to say that I’m ready. OK, that’s it. I’ll do it tonight.
After this battle. When we get home. Home. > He though
about what that word meant. Lately, it had just been him and Asuka
at home. Misato had picked up a larger workload, and
was seldom around anymore. He missed her. They should go do something,
he decided. Something that they all would
enjoy. He would have to think about it.
Right now, he was the happiest man alive. Was he a man? Or a boy? <What
is it to be a man? Is it to be of age? Or is it to
love someone over yourself? Or is it maybe to do something heroic?
>
Inside Central Dogma, the extrapolator was going crazy trying to keep
up with the growth of the two AT fields. They were
now bordering on the Angels own field, and showed no signs of stopping.
The two Evas Fields merged into one, and
flowed over the Angels, nulling the field, making the side closest
to Rei vulnerable.
"Rei?" Misato ventured.
"Yes, ma’am."
"Fire at the Angel."
"Yes, ma’am." Rei aimed, and fired her newly acquired rifle empty on
the Angel. It was dead with the first few hits, but she
fired anyway, without knowing why. After settling a little, the Angel
exploded. All three Evas were shaken, but
surprisingly the blast was directed upwards. The pillar of flames reached
at least a mile into the air, but did no damage to
the Evas or what was left of the forest around it.
Shinji and Asuka were jolted awake, and sat upright, as the last rumblings
of the blast settled into the background. "Did it
work?"
"Yes. It worked. Good work you two." Commander Ikari said.
Shinji found that he no longer craved the compliments as much as he
did before. They were no longer his reason for living.
He looked to the image of his love, sitting there, squeezing the bridge
of her nose, and relieving some of the tension that
had built up over the past day.
After they had returned, and powered the Evas down, they exited, and
headed for the showers. Shinji redressed, and went
to the Lounge for a drink. He was halfway through his tea when Misato
walked in, with Asuka in tow, and told him that
they needed to go home. "Commander Ikari has decided that we can go
home tonight, without a debriefing, and tomorrow
we can have off. Let’s not give him time to reconsider!"
They left Nerv, and drove home, considerably slower than they had gotten
there that morning. They talked then for the
most time that Shinji could remember. They talked of recent events,
about school, about what dinner would be. They had a
heated debate over who would be cooking, ending in Shinji and Asuka
cooking, while Misato watched and learned. They
had a good laugh over that.
Times were good. Shinji had his love. Shinji had his life. Shinji had
his happiness. That night at dinner, he and Misato
talked candidly about the Asuka situation. Asuka was there, listening
to all of it, and she felt that now that things were out
in the open, they were OK. No longer would she have to cry over her
futures possibilities.
"So what are you going to do?" Shinji asked.
"About what?" Misato asked, trying to evade the question for as long as possible.
"About us, me and Asuka. I don’t want my relationship invaded, and analyzed.
It is mine, and I like it the way it is." He
winked at Asuka. She caught it, and wondered silently what he meant
by it.
Misato, gulping down a little more beer, thought for a moment. "Well,
I am going to have to report it. But I will make sure
that it is put as delicately as possible, and you won’t be invaded.
Even if he orders you chaperoned, or broken up, your
relationship will be safe at least behind my doors.
With that she stood, and dumped her dishes in the sink.
"By the way, great meal. I should put you on full time." She laughed to herself.
"I don’t see what’s so funny. We’re on full time anyway." Shinji said.
They finished up, and cleaned the dishes. Shinji noticed that Asuka
looked lovely with her hair all mussed, her hands
covered in suds. He reached over with a soap-covered hand, and caressed
her cheek, slowly from her ear to her chin. She
looked at him a little startled. She had been thinking to herself,
and he had jolted her back to reality.
"I just thought of how beautiful you are. It made me feel…something
I can’t explain. It is a feeling that borders between
joy and love, welling inside me. I can feel my heart beating."
Asuka placed her hand on his chest. "So can I. It’s a strong heart."
"I haven’t yet thought of a delicate way of asking this, so I will just
ask it. I am ready, are you willing?" The semi
frightened look in his eyes melted to relief. Relief that he had finally
stood up to his fears, and faced down reality. That he
didn’t have to be ruled by fear, but by himself.
Asuka looked at him, and stepping into him, wrapped her arms around
him, embracing him in a blanket of love. They
kissed deeply, wanting never to break. They moved, somewhat clumsily
down the hall, and into Asuka’s room, mostly
because it was farther from the sleeping Misato.
No words were needed. In that moment, they were one, moving in perfect
unison, almost as if fighting the 7th angel,
Israfael. The music was no longer classical, but it was the blood rushing
through their veins, coursing throughout their
bodies, making one immutable beat. What they had done in the dreamworld
was now taking place in reality. It was no
longer a measure of pleasure, but the result of a shove from their
love.
They moved towards the bed, but missed, and flopped on the hard floor
instead. Neither of them noticed. The beat was
faster now. Deafening, it guided their movements. The clothes came
off. The sex commenced. Asuka was writhing from the
sensation, and Shinji was spent quickly, and although it had only taken
less than 15 minutes from the beginning to the
end, it had lasted an eternity. Their breathing and heart rates returned
to normal, and they relaxed on each other, lying on
the floor, dazed, and unawares of anything else around them.
"Shinji, I love you. I want you to know that. I pray that it will always
be that way. Whatever you may think of me, I will
love you." With that Asuka drifted to sleep in Shinji’s arms. He slowly,
ever so slowly eased from under her, and picked
he up, and gently placed her on her bed. Feeling sleepy himself, he
slid in next to her, and slept.
That night they slept. No dreamsworlds to occupy them, and no nightmares
to haunt them, but pure blissful sleep. Shinji
figured out ‘why him’. There was no other explanation: ‘Just because…’