| 1: What Goes Up (season premiere) | TV's first family of dysfunction returns for a second season of the charmingly offbeat reality series. A tidal wave of change has swept over Ozzy and his clan since the March debut of the Emmy-winning hit that made celebrities of the entire family. Matriarch Sharon is waging a battle with colon cancer and making plans to host an upcoming talk show. Daughter Kelly launched a singing career and her friend Robert Marcato moved into the Osbournes' guest house after his mother died of cancer. Son Jack, meanwhile, is basking in his newfound celebrity status. In the season opener, Ozzy's plans for a romantic candlelit evening with Sharon bring the L.A. fire department to his door.
| 2: Must Come Down | Jack injures an elbow jumping off a pier; Ozzy goes to pieces on tour over Sharon's cancer.
| 3 | Kelly reveals her new tattoo at her family birthday party (much to Sharon's chagrin), and Ozzy promotes his new CD with an interview on KROQ's "Loveline," where he announces he's on Viagra.
| 4 | Kelly brings home her first boyfriend, Bert, prompting responses from Jack and Sharon.
| 5 | Sharon reconciles with her dad, with whom she hasn't spoken in 20 years; and the parents try to crack down on Kelly and Jack's partying.
| 6 | Jack's friend Jason Dill returns to stay a while; Kelly tries to get her friend Sara a job as the drummer in her band; and there is unrest among the family's many pets.
| 7 | Kelly rebels against the rigors of music stardom. She also meets Sean Combs, and Sharon speculates about the two becoming a couple.
| 8 | Ozzy becomes obsessed with keeping Sharon safe from germs, and learns he's not allowed to have sex with her for nine months. Also: Jack teaches Robert how to make beans on toast.
| 9 | The family flies to Las Vegas, where Ozzy plays a concert and Kelly celebrates her 18th birthday. Kelly's friend Sara performs a striptease, to Ozzy and Sharon's chagrin.
| 10: Wedding Special | Ozzy and Sharon renew their wedding vows.
| 11 | The family that put the fun back in dysfunction returns with new episodes to complete the second season. Much has happened since we last looked in on the heavy-metal icon's brood---matriarch Sharon was allegedly involved in a brawl with a talent agent in a restaurant, and son Jack checked into rehab for substance abuse---but here, it's business as usual. Ozzy goes to the dentist and gets whacked-out on nitrous oxide, in which condition he looks...well...the same. Kelly, meanwhile, makes unkind comments about Christina Aguilera, while Jack offers a decidedly more upbeat view of the singer. And the family goes medieval for Jack's 17th birthday. Oh, those kooky Osbournes.
| 12 | The Osbournes have a flea infestation, and Sharon redecorates to try to stem it. Kelly goes to Philadelphia to visit her boyfriend, Burt, and comes back with a new piercing.
| 13 | Ozzy works out with a personal trainer and celebrates his 54th birthday with a bat-decorated cake. He also struggles with the voice-recognition feature of his new car.
| 14 | Ozzy and Sharon go to Hawaii for 4 days, leaving Kelly and Jack at home, where they fight like cats and dogs.
| 15 | Ozzy stays home while most of the family is in New York. He ignores Sharon's plea for him to get to know Rob better, and instead bides his time watching two of the dogs mate and shopping for kitchen utensils and candy. Also: Melinda announces she's pregnant.
| MTV News Now: Jack Osbourne: Back from Rehab | Jack Osbourne is profiled.
| 16 | The neighbors' new tennis court touches off a feud with the Osbournes that nearly results in Jack's arrest. Also: the Osbournes' cats begin to go missing.
| 17 | Jack meets Courtney Love and her houseguest, Brienann, and likes Brienann immediately. Also: Ozzy writes a new song and Sharon finds out about Jack's new tattoo.
| 18 | Ozzy takes Jack and two of his friends fishing on the ocean.
| 19 | Ozzy and Sharon have empty-nest syndrome when Jack and Robby take a trip to the family's house in England and Kelly goes on tour for three weeks.
| 20: Ozz Well That Ends Well (season finale) | This unlikely success story---planting cameras in a heavy-metal singer's home and turning his dysfunctional family's life into a reality-TV show---wraps its second season with much to celebrate. Matriarch Sharon has survived cancer, son Jack has cleaned up his act in rehab, and the series itself has been renewed for a third season and nominated for an Emmy (as has that zany soft-drink ad the clan starred in). In the finale, Kelly's hot-and-cold romance with singer Bert McCracken of the Used reaches a climax, while Ozzy and Sharon sort out relationship problems of their own. And the family gathers once again to deal with a domestic crisis---this time involving Jack. | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
