“What kind of a creature are you anyway?” Maul asked sharply, annoyed by the brat’s constant jabbering.
“I’m a person and my name’s ANAKIN!!” he yelled, thrusting his small body forward close to Maul’s in an arrogant fashion. Gritting his teeth against poison-tipped words, Maul did his best to ignore the rowdy child. The floor dinged and the doors opened. Anakin scurried out of the elevator quickly leaving Maul to follow with the dead fish, slab of raw meat, and carton of eggs. The bags floated behind him once more. Anakin stopped in front of room 303 and stabbed a finger at the door’s lock.
“Open it!” he commanded. Maul’s eyes fired up with his containted rage as he fumbled for the correct room key. He jabbed the key into the lock, twisted it fiercely, and kicked the door open. He tossed the bags inside the room and resisted the urge to do the same to the brat. Anakin gaped in shock and stomped his small foot on top of Maul’s with force. Maul howled in rage and backhanded the kid into the room.
“Damned brat!” he snarled and Force-shut the door, locking it from the outside in the process. Anakin wailed and assualted the door with his small fists. Maul ignored him and entered the elevator again. He had another job to finish.
* * *
The sounds of men groaning and moaning entered Maul’s ears almost as soon as he stepped off the elevator. He clamped his hand over his mouth to prevent the spew from spilling forth and rapidly banged on the door to the suite. From the inside he heard Qui-Gon answer in a breathless “Yes?”. The sound of a whip being applied to skin punctuated his words. Maul shuddered and opened the door a notch.
“The stuff you asked for,” he said gruffly, thrusting the requested items forward. Qui-Gon, now dressed in a black dominatrix outfit topped with a black girdle, strolled forward in his five inch pumps and took the items from Maul’s shaking hand. A moan sounded from behind the cross-dressing Jedi. Maul dared a peek around Qui-Gon’s body and did a double take. Obi-Wan was strung up in some sort of body harness above the hot tub, blindfolded and wearing a frilly pink tutu. Maul blanched for the second time that night and slammed the door shut. The whip cracks resumed, as did the howls of pleasure and pain from Obi-Wan. Maul couldn’t hold it back this time. He whipped around the corner of the hall and hurled into an ashcan. After emptying the contents of his stomach, he rose and swiped at his mouth with the edge of his jacket. He hoped to never ever see anything as repulsive as that again! This Wookiesuit was bad enough!
* * *
An hour later found Maul back at the front desk checking in another pair of unusual guests: Jedi Master Yoda and Mace Windu. Yoda was dressed in a Hawaiian flower-print shirt with brown sandals. Mace was still in his normal robes. Maul paid no heed to the Muppet and ruthlessly snatched the credit card from Mace’s hand. He scanned it into the computer and told them their room number. Yoda chortled and waddled to the elevators. Mace gestured towards the luggage cart and followed his pint-sized superior. Maul grimaced when he noticed the amount of bags was doubled compared to that of the perverted Jedi. Grunting in defeat, he heaved the whole cart with his Force and trailed after the Masters.
“Here’s your room,” Maul said absently as he flipped through a series of room keys on a large gold ring. Yoda waddled up to the Sith bellhop and raised one green hand towards the door. It swung open without the aid of a key and the Jedi Master piddled inside. Maul tossed the keys over his shoulder and directed the bags into the room. Mace thanked him gruffly and handed him twenty credits. Pleased with the larger amount, Maul pocketed the bills and left the floor.
Inside the room, Yoda was digging out a pair of black spiked boots from his travel bag. Mace sighed and started removing his robes. “Must you do this again, Master Yoda? You haven’t recovered from the last encounter.” Yoda chuckled and started changing into his now trademark whore outfit then turned his back so Mace could lace him up. Mace did so reluctantly before changing his own clothes. His outfit consisted of a polyester white suit with bellbottoms and a large gold chain that ended in a large “M”.
“Leave before all of the best men go we must,” Yoda babbled and started to walk out of the room. Mace nodded, placed a pair of raybands on his face, and followed the small creature dressed in drag. Tonight would most likely be no different from any of the others. At least they’d make a profit; everyone wanted to bang a Jedi Master after all.