"The Purple Rose Saga": An otakufic by King Reanna

Episode Five: "Happy Egg"

Original version, "Miki’s Shining Thing" written Nov. 21-22, 1999

Second version written Dec. 26-28

[Scene: The dance hall. Grams: "Butou no Eros." We see Utena, Anshi and Miki in the foreground, with Touga, Kozue and Nanami behind them.]

Utena: We have to stop them!

Miki: We can’t let Akio-sama… well… you know… (blush)

(Touga walks by the three of them, up to Akio and Reanna)

Touga: Akio-sama, I can’t let you do this.

Akio: And why would that be? She seems to be willing enough.

Reanna: Yeah, Touga. You’ll get your turn soon enough.

Touga: (grabs Reanna’s arm) Come on, Reanna. (Pulls her away from Akio)

Reanna: Akio-sama, I will come back to you. (Turns to Touga) Hey, where’s Miki-kun? (giggles)

(Touga sweatdrops. NOTE: Throughout all of this, no one else really seems to notice what’s going on)

(We see Utena, Anshi, Miki, Juri, Nanami and Kozue again. Miki and Utena are flipping through a chemistry textbook)

Miki: Well, as near as I can figure…

Utena: Kozue, Nanami, I’ll ask you one more time… what did you do to that punch?

Kozue: (defiantly) I don’t remember.

Utena: Kozue, I can’t understand what could make you hate her so much.

Miki: (shuts the textbook) It’s my fault.

(Touga comes back over with Reanna, who wears a big smile on her face)

Touga: I brought Reanna back. Have you figured it out yet?

(All shake their heads)

Touga: Damn.

Nanami: (trying to embrace Touga, but Reanna is already there) Forgive me, Oniisama! I just can’t remember what we did to that punch!

Utena: I really don’t believe the two of you!

Touga: (holding Reanna at arm’s length) Don’t worry, Tenjou-kun. We’ll figure something out.

(A teacher walks by)

Teacher: Is there something wrong here? I heard yelling.

Juri: (ever calmly) Nanimo, sensei.

Teacher: Okay. Just checking. (Exit teacher)

Reanna: (smiling lasciviously) Miki, come here.

(All sweatdrop, Miki trips while "scootches" away from the general area)

(Enter Wakaba. She wears a fairly decent green dress)

Wakaba: Utena-sama! (glomps Utena)

Utena: Oh, hi, Wakaba.

Wakaba: (observes the unusual scene and gets off Utena’s back) So what’s going on here?

Utena: Kozue and Nanami turned Reanna into a playgirl by putting something in her punch. We’re trying to figure out how to turn her back.

Wakaba: Hmm. Well, you know, I’ve always been good at chemistry. Why don’t I try to work something out?

Juri: (raises an eyebrow) Anata?

Wakaba: Don’t worry about it! I’ll fix this!

Title: "Happy Egg"

[Scene: A certain wall at a random sunset. Grams: "Kashira Seijin." Kagee Shoujo-tachi A and B appear]

A-Ko: Kashira? Kashira?

B-Ko: Oh, dear girl, this is unexpected!

A-Ko: Don’t worry, don’t worry! (pats B-Ko on the shoulder)

B-Ko: (curiously) But, why not? Why not worry in a world where nothing is as it seems?

A-Ko: (laughs maniacally) In a world where nothing is as it seems, order does not exist!

B-Ko: Do you know why that is?

Both: (As they bob up and down) Do you know? Do you know? Do you know why that is?

(Fade out)

[Scene: The dance hall. Grams: "Butou no Eros." Touga still holds Reanna at arms’ length. Reanna still has that lascivious look on her face. Enter Wakaba, running. She holds a tiny test tube]

Wakaba: I’ve done it! I’ve done it! (she stops running, panting)

Reanna: (with a kawaii curious look on her face) What’s that?

Wakaba: (in a friendly tone) This will return you to normal, Reanna-sempai.

Reanna: (offended) And just what do you mean by that?

Wakaba: Hold her, Touga-sempai! (Touga does so)

Reanna: (Reanna looks startled until she settles in) Mmm… this is nice.

(We see the faces of other cast members as we hear Reanna coughing and spluttering. Kozue looks disappointed; Nanami looks amused. Other students begin noticing what’s going on)

Utena: (noticing the growing crowd) Go away, minna! There’s nothing to see here!

(Touga lets go of Reanna)

Miki: Reanna-sama? Are you okay?

Reanna: (coughs a little) Hai. I’m fine now… Arigato, Wakaba-kun.

Utena: (obviously impressed) Good job, Wakaba! You really managed to do it!

(Kozue and Nanami look genuinely disappointed)

(Suddenly, Reanna’s eyes become larger and much more kawaii)

Reanna: Touga! Touga-sama!

(Reanna gets behind Touga and glomps him)

Touga: (not significantly affected, even when Reanna begins to glomp-huggle) Wakaba-kun?

Wakaba: Uh… oops.

(Touga has managed to pry Reanna off of him, but Reanna glomps onto Juri instead)

Utena: Uh… this could be a problem.

Reanna: (In a very Wakaba-like manner) Why?

Nanami: She’s just like Wakaba! (does her annoying laugh)

Touga: Nanami!

Nanami: (embraces Touga; this time there’s no Reanna in the way) Forgive me, Oniisama!

Touga: Wakaba-kun… can you fix it?

Wakaba: I’m… not sure… I don’t know what went wrong.

Juri: Well, you’d better figure out how to fix it.

[Scene: An elevator. Caption: "The next day" Grams: "Densetsu: Kami no Na wa Abraxas." The silhouettes of Miki, Reanna and Touga appear one by one.

Touga: If it cannot hatch from its shell, the chick will die without being born. We are the chick; the world is our egg. If we don’t crack the world’s shell, we will die without truly being born. Smash the world’s shell…

All: For the Revolution of the World!

(We see Touga sitting at a chair. Reanna is glomp-huggling Miki, who barely seems to be supporting her weight)

Reanna: Mikimikimikimikimikimikimiki…

Touga: (Reanna continues her chanting even as he says this) Reanna, perhaps you should get off Miki.

Reanna: (disappointed) Okay… (Reanna gets off, and the two sit down)

Miki: So I guess Wakaba hasn’t been able to fix the glomping thing yet.

Touga: Not yet.

(Enter Juri)

Juri: (Holds up a test tube) Wakaba has finished the antidote. This should be fine.

Touga: But how do we…

Juri: (smiles slyly, points away) Reanna-sempai, look over there. Someone you haven’t glomped yet.

Reanna: (very eagerly) Where? Where? Up here? Really?

(Touga pours the chemical into Reanna’s drink and smiles)

Reanna: (looking back) Juri, you tease! There’s no one there! (Tries to glomp Juri, but since she’s already seated, Reanna just bounces off the back of her chair. Miki, Juri and Touga look at each other)

(Reanna takes a sip of her drink. Her eyes become less kawaii—they become their usual selves)

Touga: Reanna, are you back to normal now?

Reanna: (pause) Hai.

(All breathe sighs of relief)

Touga: Well, good. Anyway, it seems that we there has been a challenge to Tenjou Utena, the current duelist champion, and as it turns out, it’s none of us.

(Everyone looks very surprised)

Reanna: Well, then, who is it?

(Eyecatch)

[Scene: The Rose Doors. Utena approaches them. A random drop of "cold!" water emerges from them to caress her Rose Seal ring. The columns of water shoot up and the mechanism opens the great stone doors. Utena climbs the stairs as "Zettai Unmei Mokushiroku" plays. She finally reaches the top, huffing and puffing. We see the floating castle that hangs in the air above)

Utena: I was never… even told… who had challenged me.

(Utena spots Anshi standing next to her challenger—Chu-Chu, fully clad in a duelist uniform and holding a tiny little sword)

Utena: Chu-Chu? You’re my challenger?

Chu-Chu: (proudly) Chu. Chu, chu, chu!

(We hear the massive bells ringing, signaling the start of the duel. Anshi gives Utena a white rose and Chu-Chu a lavender one)

Anshi: Oh, rose of the noble castle… Power of Dios that sleeps within me… Heed your master and come forth!

(Utena bends Anshi back and draws the Sword of Dios from her chest and brandishes it)

Utena: Grant me the power to bring the world revolution!

(A Japanese techno rock song begins and Chu-Chu lunges at Utena)

Chu-Chu: Chu!

(Utena tries swinging the Sword, but obviously has trouble swinging at such a small target)

(Chu-Chu burrows into Utena’s fuku. Utena dances around)

Utena: (laughs) Chu-Chu, get out of there!

Chu-Chu: Chu chu chu chu chuuuuu!

Utena: Chu-Chu!

(Chu-Chu emerges from Utena’s left sleeve)

Chu-Chu: Chu!

(We see Touga watching through opera glasses)

(Chu-Chu is kind of "hacking" at Utena’s rose)

Touga: Could it be that…?
(We hear Utena gasp. Her rose falls to the ground. The bells ring, and the song ends.)

Utena: I… I…

Anshi: (Approaches Chu-Chu, with a smile) Congratulations, Chu-Chu. I am now your bride.

(Chu-Chu and Anshi walk off)

Utena: (confused) Well, I suppose that’s only fitting.

(Fade to "To be continued…" screen)

Preview of next episode:

(Grams: "Jikai Yokoku." We see Anshi, Utena, Touga, Nanami, Juri, Chu-Chu, Miki and Akio sitting around the table. We also see Reanna on crutches, the Seitokai conversing, Reanna being slapped, and Akio helping her up)

V.O. Reanna: I don’t know what I’m going to do! First, I break my leg, then everybody’s personalities have switched and I’m the one who has to fix things! Even worse, you won’t believe who Miki exchanges his personality with!

V.O. Utena: Next time on "Shoujo Kakumei Utena:" "Ohtori is a Character Gallery!"