"American Pie" (Slayersized)

by Hotaru Aino

send comments to: minako_15@hotmail.com

her website: http://www.acmecity.com/animation/typography/441/index.html

[A girl with shoulder length black-purple hair (me!) enters and looks around, she clears her throat and the Slayers gang make their way onto the scene as well. Music begins and they go through the first verse together]

A long long time ago, we can still remember how that music used to make us smile. And we knew that if we had the chance, we could make those people dance. And then they'd be happier than before…

[Me]- Did you write the book of love, And could Zelgadis be human again? If Clair Bible tells him so… Well he always be rocks and stones? Could it be music to save his self esteem--

[Lina breaks in, grabbing the microphone] - Gourry will you give me Hikari no Ken!

[Amelia to Zelgadis] - Well I know that you're in love with him, and although my own chances are slim--

[Xelloss pops in] - We both kicked off our clothes--

[Amelia wails) - Man I hate these rhythm and blues! I am a lonely, teenage, justice gal. With a huge kingdom and a crush on Zel

[Xelloss] - Well if you want me then you're in luck.

[Amelia] - I'd rather the music died!

[Me] - I'll just start singin'. Bai bai Miss Sairuun pie, drove the chariot to the levy, (but I didn't know what a levy was.) And the good ole boys were drinking [Zel grins at camera holding a mug] coffee and [Xel grins holding a mug of his own] rye, singing

[All] - This will be the day that I die, this will be the day that I die.

[Me, looking at the dejected Ame-chan] - I met a girl who sang the blues and I asked her for some happy news. She just glared and stormed away. Well I went down to the sacred bar, where I'd heard the music years before. But Luna said the music wouldn't play.

[Gourry] - Well now in the streets people all scream, bandits cry and Lina [holds his sword away from her] dreams on.

[Lina] - Just one word needs be spoken: FIREBALL!

[Music stops for a moment Amelia is heard off screen] - That was unjust Miss Lina!

[Music starts up again and I jump in] - And there's one man I admire the most, he's the powerful and kawaii [Gourry, Xel and Zel all puff up in pride, each thinking it's them] he is Xelloss! [Gourry and Zel sulk while I'm glomping Xel happily]

[Lina] - I don't know what they [shot of me and Zel looking over at Xelloss] see in Mazoku.

[Xelloss] - Forget it, make sure the music doesn't die.

[Me] - Let's just start singing!

[Everyone] - Bai bai Miss Sairuun pie. What the heck's a levy

[Me] - All I know is it's dry.

[Everyone] - And good ole boys were eating [shot of Zel with a mug] coffee and [Xel with a cone] ice cream, singing:

[Zel and Xel] - I'd sure like some pie, I'd sure like some pie!

[There's a repeat of the chorus, Amelia is still sulking and Lina is getting her arms pinned to her sides by Gourry so she doesn't "borrow" his sword, Zel is pushing Xel away, swearing he was drunk last night. Xel finally stops groping him and just pouts]

[Song ends and slowly everyone walks away leaving me and Xel]

[Xel] - No one appreciates the kawaii ones…

[Me (while glomping him)] I'll always appreciate you Xel-kun!

[Xel] - Why would you do that?

[Me smiling, wagging finger] - Sore wa himitsu desu… wanna find other stuff to parody?

[Xel] - Soft serve ice cream first?

[Me] - Sure, I'll buy.

[Xel g lomps me back and I giggle as the scene fades away]