The Eau Claire Bible: Prologue

Shiny People and Gold Dust

By Reanna King

AN: Even I usually don’t write something this pointless, but this idea has been bouncing around in my head for quite some time begging me to let it out, so here I am putting on it paper… er… pixels. What’s the deal with the "shiny people?" Sore wa himitsu desu!!!! Actually, that may or may not be answered in a future chapter, depending on … this and that. Okay. Note: for those interested, Eau Claire, Wisconsin is the lovely city I live in and it’s French for "clear water," or something like that. Kirei ne? Also, this is the first time I’ve put myself into a Slayers fic, but it had to come sometime. If I get enough votes for it, I just may make it an ongoing series. And for those of you who have read TEAORAA: Yes, the preview of the next segment is a direct rip-off of the preview of the next segment in "The Ecchi Adventures of Reanna and Akio," complete with the selected quote at the end. Anyway, here we go… Oh, again… it’s on FFN at http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=386769. So if you like it, please go there to write a review. J

 

(Reanna sits at her computer one day typing stories, listening to Slayers music and drooling over pictures of Xelloss when there was a knock at the front door. Reanna falls out of her chair, spilling Kool-Aid and causing minor chaos throughout the living room)

REANNA: Who is it?

(There’s no answer)

REANNA: I said, who is it?

(Pause. There’s still no answer)

REANNA: WHO IS IT???!!!!

(finally Reanna gets up to see who it is. She opens the door and sees Zelgadis standing there with his deadpan look, with his hood and mask on)

REANNA: Hmm? Zelgadis-san? Is there something I can do for you?

ZELGADIS: Where is it?

REANNA: Ummm where’s what?

ZELGADIS: The Eau Claire Bible. Where is it?

REANNA: The… Eau Claire… Bible? What’s that? Hold on a minute! What are you doing here? Did you sneak over into this dimension while Lina-tachi wasn’t looking?

ZELGADIS: Well, actually—

REANNA: Oh, I’m so rude! Why don’t you come in and meet the family!

ZELGADIS: Huh…?

(Reanna grabs Zel’s wrist and pulls him inside)

ZELGADIS: Really, all I’m here for is the—

(Reanna’s curly-haired little brother runs in with a plastic gun making explosion sounds)

JON: Ranna, look it’s Zelgadis!

(JON begins running circles around ZEL, yelling "ZELGADIS! ZELGADIS! ZELGADIS! ZELGADIS!")

REANNA: Mom! Dad!!

ZELGADIS: I really just need to find the—

(REANNA’S mom and dad come in)

REANNA’S MOM: Wow, that is an amazing costume you have, young man! Is that face paint or a mask?

ZELGADIS: You find my face that freakish?

REANNA: Be nice mom, this is my friend Zelgadis!

REANNA’S DAD: Are you taking Reanna on a date tonight?

(ZELGADIS blushes profusely)

ZELGADIS: Actually, I—

REANNA: Yes, that’s exactly it!

ZELGADIS: Ano…

REANNA: Zelgadis-san! While we’re out, we can go look for that Eau Claire Bible of yours!

ZELGADIS: (whispers back) Errr…. Hai…

REANNA: Yay! Date with Zelgadis! Date with Zelgadis! C’mon, Zel!

(REANNA grabs ZEL again and drags him out to the car)

ZELGADIS: Hey, hold on a minute!

REANNA: Woohoo! Get in, Zel! We’re goin’ downtown!

ZELGADIS: What… do you mean… by that?

REANNA: The Eau Claire public library, of course! It’s downtown! (makes kawaii face)

ZELGADIS: I see…

(REANNA starts up the car while ZEL gets in)

REANNA: (as she pulls the car out of the driveway) So… how did you come to be here in the first place, Zelgadis-san?

ZELGADIS: (twitches) It… it was… and… … turtle with Italian accent… cappuccino… and… (turns red) Sh-sh-shiny people… gold dust from head… (trembles) Please don’t ask…

REANNA: Awww, you poor thing! (leans over and gives ZEL a big hug) Come here, come here.. there there, I understand…

ZELGADIS: (panics) REANNA-SAN, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!!!

REANNA: Gomen!! (steers the car straight again)

REANNA: Do you like music, Zelgadis-san?

ZELGADIS: Uhh… what kind of music?

(REANNA turns on the tape deck and "Secret~ Dareka no Message" starts blasting)

ZELGADIS: (kinda freaked out) You shrunk Xelloss and put him in that box!!

REANNA: Eh? That’s a radio!

ZELGADIS: That’s a strange name for a spell!

REANNA: That’s not a spell, that’s—

XELLOSS’S VOICE: (sounding tiny) That is a secret!

ZELGADIS: (poking at the radio) You DID shrink Xelloss!

(a tiny chibi XELLOSS pops out of the tape drawer)

XELLOSS: Konnichi wa! Yare yare! I thought I’d never make it through to this dimension… what with the shiny people and all.

ZELGADIS: Shut up.

REANNA: Cute!!! XELLOSS-SAN, YOU’RE SO KAWAII!! (REANNA picks up CHIBI XELLOSS and huggles him)

XELLOSS: Teehee! I have fans! (XELLOSS pulls a bunch of oscillating fans from his cloak) I have these too!

ZELGADIS: And what are you doing here?

XELLOSS: Following you, of course. I just followed the trail of gold dust—

ZELGADIS: SHUT UP!!

XELLOSS: (smirking) Sorry. And what are you here for?

ZELGADIS: … … … … Sore wa himitsu desu.

XELLOSS: (from his newfound perch atop REANNA’S head) Ooh, that wasn’t very nice. (waggles his index finger) Naughty Zel-chan!

ZELGADIS: Kisama!! (tries to hit XELLOSS, but instead hits REANNA on the head, knocking her unconscious)

XELLOSS: Oh, what an interesting turn of events. I assume you know how to work this thing.

ZELGADIS: Why the hell would I?!

XELLOSS: Oh, how very unfortunate…

(the car veers out of control)

ZELGADIS: You dumb Mazoku! We’re gonna die!

XELLOSS: Oh, dear…

To be continued…

Preview of the next:

Will Zelgadis and Xelloss crash my mom and dad’s car?

Who’s waiting for us at the library?

And why is the there?

These questions, and some questions you never wanted to

know the answers to will be answered in:

The Eau Claire Bible, Part Two:

"Dead Priests and Nonexistent Books!

~~~It… it was… and… … turtle with Italian accent… cappuccino… and… Sh-sh-shiny people… gold dust from head… Please don’t ask…~~~