The X-Follies

NOTE: THIS STORY APPEARS MORE OR LESS AS IT ORIGINALLY DID IN THE MAD LIB. THE WORDS I FILLED IN ARE UNDERLINED.

You and your best friend, Reanna, are driving to work in the beat-up Miki-car your dad always complains about. This morning you're out particularly early because your dad found out there is a leak in the steering wheel.

"This piece of kuso was never worth the money I paid for it," he screamed.

But right now, you try to put that out of your mind. You talk to your friend about Utena, not paying any attention to the road. Suddenly, you hear a large thud. You twist your head forward to find that you've accidentally rear-ended the van in front of you.

"Oh great," Reanna says sitting next to you. "You're dad's gonna have a cow with this one."

You can just imagine the driver stepping out of the car with a Sword of Dios and then smashing the steering wheel of your car. But for some strange reason, the van doesn't stop. It just keeps driving. Curious of the driver's actions, you jam your foot on the brake pedal and follow the van in front of you.

After following the van for almost 21 minutes, one of the back doors of the van swings open. Inside you can see the head of some green object.

"What in Japan is that?" you ask yourself. Your mind races to all kinds of different explanations about the strange object; however, you are convinced that the green object in the back of that van was the head of an alien.

Your friend, of course, doesn't believe you. "What a kawaii piano player you are! That's just a parsley truck!"

"There's no such thing as a parsley truck!" you scream back. "Besides, you think I just fell off the parsley truck yesterday?"

After arguing for about an hour, you realize once again that you are driving. You veer your car back onto the highway and start following the mysterious van, despite the fact that Reanna is screaming "OOIIII!!!!"

The van realizes that it's being followed and quickly turns on a corner with its tires screeching loudly. It pulls into a driveway, and the driver rushes through the music room door of the house. You park the car across the street, in front of the house. The windo wis rolled down and you are hunched down behind the steering wheel. Suddenly, a goon with a blue suit rips the steering wheel clean off the car. You cower in fear, your pajamas soaking wet. The goon grabs you by the pajamas and throws you on to the street. Reanna runs off for Akio.

Suddenly, you wake up tied to a chair in a pitch black room. A man walks up behind you and blows some smoke in your face.

So," the smoke-blowing man says. "We've finally caught up with Agent Mulder."

"Mulder," you say looking puzzled. "I'm not Agent Mulder."

"You're not Agent Mulder?" the smoke blowing man says. "Who are you then?"

"Miki Kaoru sir," you answer in a quivering voice.

"Oh, we're sorry," the smoke blowing man says slapping his forehead. "Tell you what, because we made such a big brainfart, I'll give you this #20 dollar gift certificate for the school store and the doorman will give you the steering wheel to your car back. Honestly, we're very sorry from the bottom of our lungs. Bye-bye now."

You walk out of the music room door with your car's steering wheel in your hand. You pass the van that you tailed that morning. Curiously, you peer into the back door of the van to see what's inside. Slowly, you put your fingers on the door handle. You can feel your lungs pushing the air through your nostrils. Building up enough strength, you push the button on the handle and throw the door open with your eyes shut. There is a second of silence when you slowly open your eyes to find ...... parsley.