Note: This fanfic was written by E-chan Maxwell Tenjou, and I really appreciate being given the permission to MST it. I intend no injury to the writer or the story—in fact I like this story. Why is Akio nuts about me in this? Simply because my MSTs are a separate branch of Ohtori no Gekijou, where Akio always being after me is simply a fact of RPG-life. It’s what I’m used to.

(MIKI, TOUGA, AKIO and REANNA file into a nondescript theater in Ohtori—an "Ohtori no Gekijou," if you will. They sit down in adjacent seats.)

REANNA: Who picked out this fanfic? Just so we know what to expect.

AKIO: I picked this one out. I think you’ll like this one, Rea-chan. (smiles lasciviously) It’s right up your alley.

TOUGA: (smirks) Right up Reanna’s what?

REANNA: Shut up or I’ll beat you with my shoe.

MIKI: Shh, the fanfic’s starting.

(Everyone sits down to watch)

>STRAIGHT JACKET MAYHEM!!!!!

ALL: GAHH!!

>Chapter 1!

TOUGA: Chapter One: Attack of the Exclamation Marks!

>E-chan was wondering how he always got into these things. The screen pans wide

>to reveal he's in his dorm, in his pajamas only, he's also in a straight jacket.

AKIO: Look, Reanna. Bondage.

REANNA: Okay, okay… I get it…

>Why does the dean have to pick on me?? thought E-chan. Akio was sitting in E->chan's favorite chair about five feet away from where E-chan was sitting on his >bed.
>Akio was dragging on a cigarette grinning evilly. "you look so cute in that outfit E->chan, you should wear it to school," the dean laughed evilly,

REANNA: That’s gotta somehow be against the dress code.

MIKI: (whips out a copy of the school handbook) I see no rule against wearing straight jackets, but I suppose it would make it difficult to write and things…

>and E-chan looked daggers at him right after sweat-dropping. Well, I guess Becka->kun would be happy, I'm in "special" clothing, thought E-chan. The dean moved >over next to E-chan. E-chan *eeped* and tried to escape but Akio grabbed onto >one of the straps of the straight jacket so it was all for naught.

(REANNA notices that AKIO is staring at her intently)

REANNA: What are you doing?

AKIO: Watching you get turned on.

REANNA: eep!

>Where is Katie-sama when I need her???

TOUGA: Where are all these question marks coming from???? Do any of you know???? Do you think three question marks is excessive????????

MIKI: That must be where this "Katie-sama" is.

TOUGA: Where?

MIKI: Off making more question marks and exclamation marks for this fic.

>E-chan thought desperately, then he remembered her dorm was next door. >"KATIE!!!!!" he screamed.

TOUGA: KATIE!! HELP ME GET OUT OF THIS RIDICULOUS FANFIC!

>A voice with a very poorly imitated oriental accent came through the wall, "Miss-a >Katie is-a not home at the moment,

MIKI: This-a fic-a is-a not-a funny-a…

>please leave a massage after the beep... BBEEEPP!!!!!!," then came the real voice >of Katie, "you deserve everything you get E-chan,,"

AKIO: She’s probably taking her revenge on him for putting him in this fic.

>a horde of evil laughter

REANNA: A "horde of evil laughter?"

>followed on both sides of the wall, one source was Katie-san, the other was Akio, >"You'll get no help from her," he said, "she even let me borrow her straight jacket" >Then E-chan recognized the rebel alliance symbol

(Everyone sings the theme to "Star Wars")

AKIO: Use the force, E-chan.

>on all the straps of the jacket. "KATIE!!! YOU'RE GONNA GET IT!!" he screamed >threateningly. "Oh am I?" came a muffled response, "I don't think your in the >position to talk, I could always bring over my whips and chains for Akio's use,"

AKIO: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me."

>"what did I ever do to you?" E-chan pleaded.

TOUGA: (a sobbing Katie-sama) You wrote me into this fic! How could you do this to me?!

>"I wonder," (hear a shadow girl popped up out of nowhere but Katie-san threw her >sword at it so it retreated to where-ever it had come from) said Katie-sama, "the >keys to my apartment just accidentally and miraculously wound up in Akio's hands >yesterday, I suppose,," "Oh that," E-chan said in a tiny voice. "Now, LEAVE ME >ALONE!" she yelled. Akio started playing with E-chan's shoulder length brown hair >and E-chan *eeped*.

AKIO: Hair is fun to play with. (he reaches over to REANNA)

REANNA: I agree. (she yanks AKIO’S ponytail)

AKIO: Ow!

>Over in Utena and Anthy's apartment, Utena wondered what all the commotion was >all about over near Katie-sama's dorm. I wonder if I should go check it out, >thought Utena, Akio was mentioned, this could be bad. "Miss Utena-sama, is >anything wrong?" Anthy asked in her sweet little voice. "I just wonder," said Utena, >I wonder I wonder, Do you know what I wonder A-ko sang in her annoying voice, >Do you know Do you know,

MIKI: Do you know? Do you know? Do you know what a run-on is?

REANNA: I think there are no question marks because the author used them up already.

>Have you heard the news? asked B-ko in her own voice that was equally as >annoying and sing-songy. None noticed the strange shadow people except for >Becka, who cringed in a corner waiting for the terrifying aspirations

MIKI: "Terrifying aspirations?" Shouldn’t that be "apparitions?"

TOUGA: A terrifying aspiration is when you find out your kid wants to be a porn star.

>to disappear. "I wonder what's going on over there by Katie-san and E-chan's >dorms." finished Utena.
>"Why don't we go and see?" asked Miki, then his eyes glazed over rapidly as >Wakaba turned her head and her barrette shined threateningly

REANNA: Shined… threateningly?

TOUGA: Cower and fear at my shininess!

>in the moonlight. There came the trademark call of "My Shining Thing!!" from Miki >as Wakaba, for once, was glomped violently by Miki.

MIKI: Oh, no…

REANNA: It’s okay, Miki-chan…

MIKI: Nobody gets it…

TOUGA: Besides that, it’s kind of a rip-off of Blood Soaked and Honor Bound.

>Utena just shook her head in disbelief and walked towards the door.
>Utena and Anthy were rapidly drawing close to there destination, a.k.a. E-chan's >apartment. There were strange noises coming from it.

AKIO: All right! Now it gets interesting!

REANNA: Hush.

"Oh God," said Utena

REANNA: Hey, Miki-chan!

MIKI: What?

REANNA: (Haruto) OHH MY GODDDDDDDDD!!!!!

MIKI: Reanna-chan, most people haven’t even seen "Haunted Junction."

>"what is Akio doing to him?" then a bright light appeared and Dios was standing >before them. "yes?" he inquired in his amazingly deep and manly voice for only >being eleven years old. "not you," Utena said as she sweat-dropped an amazingly >big sweat-drop.
>Katie-san stepped outside her apartment to see what the commotion was all about. >"Oh, Hi Utena-sama," Katie chimed happily. "hhmm," Utena said as she scanned >the area then she saw Katie, "Oh, Hello Katie-san." "Good evening, Katie-sama," >said Anthy in her quiet almost sing-songy voice. "What's happening to E-chan?"

AKIO: Oh, probably nothing you’re not familiar with.

(REANNA hits AKIO)

>asked Utena who was starting to get concerned as more alarming noises started >coming from E-chan's dorm. "Oh, Akio has him," said Katie happily. "what!?!?" >cried Utena

TOUGA: I don’t think that’s necessary, do you?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

>who immediately facefaulted in disbelief. "Yep," said Katie-sama smugly, "and he >deserves every bit of it." "Noone deserves that fate!"

UTENA: Who’s Noone?

MIKI: I’m not sure, but apparently, he deserves that fate.

REANNA: Oh, that’s right, Noone is Noonsa’s cousin.

TOUGA: Enough with the Slayers.

>Karen-sama said, who had popped seemingly out of nowhere, "now, we've got to >save him," Dios shook his head, too late, He thought. Just then Akio walked out, >smiling evilly, licked his lips and winked at Katie-san.

(REANNA shivers visibly; AKIO smirks visibly)

>"I'll see you later," He said then left. Katie sweat-dropped and in a tiny voice >uttered, *help*. The small assembly of people walked into E-chan's dorm, and >there he was laying in a broken little pile on his bed,

REANNA: Ew… that’s kind of morbid.

TOUGA: I think the other characters had had all they could stand of this fic.

>still wearing the straight jacket though most of his pajamas were missing which is a >bad thing considering his pajamas consisted of blue boxers only.

TOUGA: Thanks for that extra bit of info, E-chan.

>Katie had a worried look on her face, I hope Akio doesn't "visit" me tonight, she >thought. E-chan's voice, though a little warbled rang clear, "I will get you for this >Katie-sama," Wakaba crawled in Miki attached to her hair, *save me* she croaked >quietly as Miki began to glomp her violently once again.

AKIO: The glomp-y dance is your chance to do the glomp!

TOUGA: Glomp me baby!

AKIO: Do the glomp-ty glomp!

REANNA: That’s enough.

>"Oh boy," said Karen-sama, "Miki,," Miki looked up to see Karen click his >stopwatch, he immediately attached himself to her arm forgetting all about poor >flattened Wakaba.
>Utena extracted E-chan from the straight jacket. E-chan stood shakily, then when >he gained his balance he stuck his tongue out at Katie-san, "Loopy Gerbilbuns!" he >said threateningly.

ALL: WHAT?!

TOUGA: I don’t know what that means… but it’s got to be impossible to say something as impossible as that threateningly.

>Everyone looked at him questioningly,, WHAT?!?! everyone thought >simultaneously. E-chan looked around the room, why are they giving me that look?
>he thought, all I said was I hate you Katie-san.
>The next day at Ohtori academy things were very calm, except for Katie-sama who >scuttled around afraid that Akio or E-chan's revenge lie just around corner.

AKIO: Me Tarzan. You Jane.

MIKI: Me think this fic lack good grammar.

REANNA: Me think you right.

>The day passed rather uneventfully until dusk when Katie-san knocked on E-chan's >door, "yes?" he called. "Can I come in??" asked Katie pitifully. "Sure," said E-chan. >"Oh, thank you,," she said "I was afraid Akio would fin--d,,"

TOUGA: D—o y—ou eve—r ta—lk li—ke thi—s?

MIKI: N—o.

>Katie-sama facefaulted as she entered E-chan's bedroom. There was Akio. E-chan >was sitting on his bed Indian style looking down at a book that he was reading. >Akio sat behind him braiding E-chan's hair. "Yes, Katie-sama," E-chan questioned, >he looked up and smiled evilly. Akio smiled sweetly, a scarier site then his evil >smile,

(AKIO smiles sweetly at REANNA)

REANNA: That IS creepy.

>and Katie sweat-dropped, "May God help me," she said under her breath. Dios >appeared and smiled helpfully at Katie. Dios nodded his head at E-chan who smiled >back. Dios vanished as quickly as he had come and Katie was without help once >again, thinking fast she bolted out the door, tripped on a rock, stumbled over the >balcony, fell one story landed soundly with a nice thump,, in, the Akio car. Katie->san *eeped* and tried to escape but then Akio jumped in on top of her, "Hello my >squishy gigglebrains," he cooed.

TOUGA: That’s the best pickup line you can come up with?

AKIO: That’s not me. (a la "Twister) See, there was another Akio. A badly stereotyped Akio… and I killed him.

>Katie melted immediately, despite she knew of the "manipulation" yet to come. >Touga's voice broke the spell, "I'm an ally to all women," he said, "plus, I'm >chivalrous." Akio looked up at Touga, forgot all about Katie and jumped out of the >Akio car to "manipulate" Touga. Katie jumped out of the car and bolted up the >stairs into E-chan's apartment. "I think we're even," he said smiling. Then Katie >realized Akio had managed to manipulate her out of a good portion of her clothes,

REANNA: She only realizes that now?

AKIO: That’s what happens. Most people are so dazed that they don’t know what’s going on until about five minutes later.

REANNA: Oh, shut up.

>"ooooh," she huffed, "I'll see you tomorrow," E-chan laughed, rolled over and >pulled the covers up to fall asleep, "remember to lock the door Katie-sama," he >said as he heard the door slam.
>Chapter 2
>Katie-san woke up and became immediately aware that she was in a straight >jacket, she looked around the room calmly, one of two people were responsible for >this, Akio or E-chan. If it was Akio she was going to be very afraid and try to >escape. If it was E-chan she was going to get very mad and go kick him out of bed.

AKIO: That would be hard to do while in a straight jacket.

REANNA: Oh, you’d be surprised what one can manage while in full bondage.

AKIO: Oh, I know. … … Reanna-chan?

REANNA: No, you may not.

>She didn't see Akio lurking anywhere, he usually sticks around for "manipulation". >Then she tried to inspect the jacket more closely, then she saw it, a big silver rose >imprinted on one of the straps followed by these words in small print "E-chan's >personal steel-lined straight jacket!" "OH!!!! I'm gonna get you good, E-chan!!" >yelled Katie-sama. "You'll change your tune when you realize its impossible to get >out of my patented steel-lined straight jacket," he called back calmly.

REANNA: He sounds like a villain from a James Bond movie.

MIKI: (villain) So you see, Mr. Bond, that it is impossible to escape the bounds of this awful fanfic!

>Katie fumed for a moment then realized the truth and logic in his statement, >"Okay, I'm sorry, come get me out of this!!!" she pleaded. "I'll think about it," >came the reply through the wall. "I'm gonna get you for this I swear it!!" Katie >screamed and thrashed violently to try and escape the binding straight jacket.

TOUGA: Reanna’s having much too much fun over there.

(REANNA blushes)

>Katie calmed down and decided to change the subject with E-chan, this is obviously >not the way to get him over here, she thought. "Hey, why do you get a silver >rose?" she asked. "I have silver streaks in my hair and my duelist outfit has silver >threading and sections."

AKIO: I guess that’s a given that he would have his very own duelist outfit.

REANNA: Hey, I wrote a dopey SI fic where I was a duelist!

TOUGA: Don’t remind us.

>he responded. "You do not have silver streaks in your hair!" she said indignantly. >"Yes I do," he called. "Wait, why is your voice moving E-chan??" she inquired, >worried. Then she heard her front door lock click, good, she thought, he's gonna let >me out!.
>"Yes, I do." said E-chan as he walked into Katie's room. Sure enough his hair was >streaked with silver, why is he wearing that?!?!, thought Katie.
>E-chan was wearing a Spanish conquistadors outfit, complete with big froofy >feather.

ALL: Froofy?

TOUGA: Sounds like a name for a pet cat.

>The outfit was done in pink, purple, green, red, yellow, orange, silver, blue, black >and a pretty, very shiny, gold.

REANNA: Ugh.

AKIO: That’s not an outfit, that’s an explosion at a paint factory.

>"wait a minute!" said Katie, "I figured out every other color, whose gold for?" >"You," said E-chan Calmly. "Me?!? why gold?" she inquired. "the same reasons as >me only gold."

REANNA: Say "aye" if that made sense to anyone.

(silence)

REANNA: Just as I thought.

>Katie sweatdropped and facefaulted, "Why don't they ever tell ME about script >changes?!?!" she cried.

TOUGA: It could have something to do with the fact that this story doesn’t have much of a script to begin with.

>Here a very surprised E-chan and Katie-sama jumped twenty feet into the air >followed by a monstrous sweatdrop. The reason for this reaction, a very upset >Wakaba ran through the apartment screaming, followed by a crazed and drooling >Miki chanting MY SHINING THING! repeatedly.

REANNA: Okay, that’s scary.

TOUGA: Is there a quotation mark shortage?

>Then through the other entrance (the one Wakaba escaped through) ran a very >surprised Utena followed by a very happy Wakaba yelling Utena, My love! very >loudly, followed by a less crazed but still drooling Miki calling out My Shining Thing! >between Wakaba's bouts of Utena My Love!. Katie and E-chan fainted in disbelief. >Then, back through the door they had left through came a slightly peeved Utena >being pursued by an ever happy Wakaba still calling Utena My Love! and trying to >glomp Utena, followed by an ever drooling Miki giving up on his calls of My Shining >Thing! and devoted his energy to catching the very shiny hairpiece he was >pursuing. He in turn was being chased by a scantily clad Kozue

(MIKI covers his eyes)

>who was rapidly losing more clothes and trying to do the same to her brother.
>Back again through the adjacent door came a very peeved Utena being followed by >an ever chirpy Wakaba still chanting Utena My Love! in high pitches who was still >being pursued by an ever more determined Miki who was still barely escaping being >stripped by his very scantily clad sister who was now being pursued by a very >happy Juri who was beginning to drool over the very scantily clad Kozue.
>Then once again through the other door the procession came again only this time >Wakaba was pushed out of the ranks by a very excited Touga.

REANNA: "Very excited?"

MIKI: Could be worse.

TOUGA: With the sight of all these half-naked girls running around, I think "excited" is an understatement.

>So, the procession went by, a newly frantic Utena a very excited Touga Miki

ALL: ?

>still running after the person in front of him though this time Touga's zipper caught >his attention,,,

TOUGA: Why, Miki! I never knew!

MIKI: Can we stop this fanfic now?

AKIO: I didn’t even see an NC-17 label on this fic.

>Kozue still ran after Miki trying to grab at any article of clothing that she could, Juri >pursued Kozue holding a very important piece of Kozue's clothing. Wakaba stood >over by E-chan (who had lost interest and was reading) tapping her foot angrily

TOUGA: That’s gotta be hard to do.

REANNA: Kind of like saying "loopy geribuns" threateningly.

>at Touga. Katie sat on her bed and watched the procession go by laughing >maniacally when appropriate.

REANNA: OH HO HO HO HO HO HO!!

TOUGA: Please do not imitate Naga.

>Once again the procession ran through, A now very angry Utena avidly followed by >a very excited Touga who somehow had managed to lose his shirt still followed by >Miki, who had decided to call My Shining Thing! again now that Wakaba had shut >up, Kozue followed closely now especially happy since she had finally been able to >grab Miki's shirt and tear it from him. Juri had stopped drooling but her eyes had >glazed over in ecstasy.

ALL: O_O

AKIO: What’s going on? I want more details!

REANNA: Ecstasy? Isn’t that a little extreme?

>Chu-Chu had joined the procession after Juri for no apparent reason but Anthy was >running after him fervently. Wakaba still fumed on the side lines, Then the crazy >line of drugged (Katie-sama had decided) Utena cast members. Utena now >contemplating whether or not to turn around and kick Touga's ass ran as fast as >ever,

ALL EXCEPT TOUGA: Get him! Yeah! Kick him!

>Touga still pursued, now smiling and murmuring something about straight jackets, >Miki followed more determined than ever trying to grab Touga's pants, Kozue >bounded happily after still playing with Miki's shirt. Juri had managed to grab >another article of clothing on the way through Katie-sama's dorm and was >inspecting it happily she was no longer pursued by Chu-Chu, Anthy had caught >him, Juri was now being followed by Anthy herself, who was not really following >Juri but rather running from Saionji who ran after her and had already managed to >lose his shirt and was spouting something about hidden love. At the site of Saionji >Wakaba gladly joined the ranks again losing own share of clothing on the way.
>E-chan read, occasionally glancing up to see who had lost more clothes.

TOUGA: Now, now, it’s not a contest.

REANNA: Maybe in LA Blue Girl.

>Katie-sama watched avidly, this is the best show I've seen in forever, she thought. >E-chan wondered whether or not to yell to Utena something about why doesn't she >take a different route instead of running circles around his and Katie's dorms. He >decided better of it though, why ruin the fun? he thought. Back again came the line >of Utena cast members an ever maddening Utena followed by an ever stimulated

REANNA: Stimulated??

AKIO: Either there’s a great lack of details in this story or the author is using inappropriate words.

MIKI: I think both.

>Touga though this time he was pursued by a very concerned Nanami whose calls of >Big Brother! drowned out Miki's calls of My Shining Thing! though his shining thing >was no longer Touga's zipper (thank Dios) but now it was Nanami's shirt which was >a unusually shiny yellow. Kozue pursued Miki fervently, frustrating that she couldn't >get a hold of anymore of his clothing. Juri was one step away from drowning in her >own drool over the nearly naked Kozue.

REANNA: Ick…

MIKI: What a way to die…

>Anthy still ran from Saionji "I'm not engaged to you anymore!" she cried >desperately but Saionji wouldn't have any of it and begin talking about hidden love >again. Wakaba chased Saionji happily delighted at how much of his clothes she >managed to apprehend.

REANNA: Apprehend?

TOUGA: Read the Miranda rights! That poor shirt has to know its rights!

>E-chan's eyebrow went up as a shirtless Nanami bounded by followed by a very >happy Miki molesting Nanami's defenseless shirt.

AKIO: Miki, I never thought you’d stoop so low as to take advantage of a defenseless young shirt.

(REANNA hits TOUGA; MIKI slumps down in his seat)

>Okay,, he thought, scary, scary, scary.

TOUGA: What a coincidence! I was thinking the same thing!

>Then although some Utena characters were still leaving through one door, in >through the other door came Utena, followed by the ever *stimulated* Touga. >Nanami followed Touga avidly calling Big Brother! to try and devert his attention >from Utena. Nanami was no longer pursued by Miki but Mitsuru followed her >instead, trying to protect her from Miki. That was in vain though because Miki had >lost interest in Nanami and was only interested on the amazingly shiny buttons on >Mitsuru's shirt.

AKIO: When fetishes get out of hand!

>Miki was still being followed by Kozue who had managed to put Miki's shirt back on >him so she could have the pleasure of ripping it off again, and she did. Juri had >now lost some of her own clothes and Anthy still ran from Saionji but threw Juri's >discarded clothes over her shoulder to distract Saionji and it worked briefly since >he thought it was Anthy herself losing clothes. Wakaba ran after him happily trying >to grab any clothes off of him she could and was also briefly distracted by Juri's >discarded clothes being thrown about.
>As the Utena cast raced through the dorm once more Akio showed up curious about >the extremely high percentage of nearly naked Utena characters concentrated in >Katie-sama's dorm.

AKIO: See? If that was really me, I would have been there much sooner than that.

>Akio noticed E-chan sitting seemingly uninterested in the corner, maybe he needs >motivation, he thought, with that thought Akio walked over to E-chan and cooed >quietly, "I bet you'd look cuter without that silly outfit on," E-chan looked up and >recognition smacked him upside the head like a dead fish.

MIKI: That’s a morbid bit of imagery…

REANNA: At least it wasn’t "smacked him upside the head WITH a dead fish."

>He *eeped* and ran like the wind to escape but had to content himself to run >behind Wakaba to escape the ever more *stimulated* Akio.

REANNA: Not him too!

>Katie-sama seeing her friend in horrible distress decided to be the bigger person >and go save her friend from Akio, it didn't strike her however that she was running >after Akio in a straight jacket (bad idea,).
>The procession ran through once more and Dios watched apprehensively from the >roof, this will be bad unless I do something, he thought. Just as he was thinking >that Utena got the cataclysmic idea to stop,

MIKI: Makes no sense. It makes no sense.

>so she did,, right by the Akio car, as Touga happily ran into Utena, and Nanami >extremely happily ran into her brother's bare back and Mitsuru ran smack into >Nanami, Miki was bubbling with joy as he glomped into the pretty buttons he was >pursuing. Kozue jumped happily on top of her vulnerable, distracted, brother. >Utena was beginning to strain against the heaving pile of fellow cast members

AKIO: Heaving?

ALL: -_-

>trying her damnedest not to fall in the ever closer Akio car. Juri gladly pushed >herself into the *barely* clad Kozue. Anthy cried out because she knew,, too late, >Saionji was atop her and they were both part of the ever growing mass of Utena >characters. Wakaba laughed evilly

REANNA: There’s a scary image.

>and leaped into the air to land right on top of Saionji with a satisfied *umph!* E->chan cursed aloud and was forced into Wakaba by the *very stimulated* Akio. >Katie-sama let out a terrifying, bloodcurdling battle cry and leaped into the air to >vanquish Akio,

REANNA: I vanquish thee! (whacks Akio upside the head)

>just as she impacted Utena lost her grip,, the piled high characters were in the air >almost in the Akio car,, Then a huge, Olympic size, pool appeared beneath them, >and they fell in, missing the Akio car by along shot, in a tangle of arms and legs. >Dios nodded approvingly, all in a days work, he thought.

REANNA: So suddenly, Dios thinks he’s Xelloss.

AKIO: We said enough Slayers.

REANNA: (her eyes already glazed over) Xelloss-sama…

>Chapter 3
>Katie-sama awoke once again imediatly aware that she was in a sraight jacket. E->chan! she thought, why?!?!?

TOUGA: Because you deserve it!!

>didn't you take me out of this thing?!?! Then she heard the loud music coming from >E-chan's apartment, what the?!? she thought. Then again recognition smacked >upside the head like a dead salmon

MIKI: Does E-chan have a thing for dead fish in metaphors, or is it just me?

>being slapped against the land, *whap* came the revalation, Mission Impossible >music. Oh My Dios,, she thought, Lord, please save me from whatever it is he plans >to do. Dios did appear once again but just shook his head and said in his amazingly >manly voice, "I'm sorry but I can not interfere with this endeavor." Katie-sama >shook her head pleadingly, "please!!" she said pitifully

TOUGA: That IS pitiful.

>Dios apologized with his eyes and disappeared, *dammit* she said in a quiet, >frustrated voice.
>Over in E-chan's apartment, he was decked out in, dare I say, *special* clothing.
>He was wearing a spandex suit that stuck to his lithe swimmers body, large >weapons of various type hung from him like hundreds of unnamed appendages, >and he had black war paint smudged on his angry face. "I will get you for this....." >he hissed through gritted teeth. *What in the HELL is he talking about?!?!* thought >Katie-sama desperately *and who is he going to get?!* then it struck her, *Akio >still has his steel stopwatch, Oh My Goodness,* she thought dumbfoundedly,

MIKI: "Oh My Goodness?"

UTENA: It was a spin-off of "Oh My Goddess."

>*I feel sorry for Akio.. but, at least it's not me!!*
>Akio sat in his office, not worried about anything. *i wonder if anything... >interesting is going to happen today?* he thought, sipping on his random iced >drink.
>Touga walked into Akio's office, hips swaying provocatively, he raised one eyebrow >playfully. "Maybe you would like to demonstrate to me the meaning of the >commomly used word... manipulate, hhm?" he almost cooed.

(AKIO smirks at TOUGA)

TOUGA: Don’t look at me like that.

REANNA: Know you know how it feels.

>Akio lazily removed himself from his leather couch, "maybe I would..." he purred in >his knee-melting manly voice. Touga placed his hand on Akio's shoulder, "maybe I >could give you a lesson also, hhm?" he questioned playfully. "perhaps," Akio cooed >softly, grabbing Touga's hand and leading him to one of the leather couches. Let's >start the lesson now," said Akio commandingly, reaching for his belt.

ALL EXCEPT AKIO: Stop! No! Stop the fic!

REANNA: Where’s that "off" button?

>Katie-sama screamed, mentally and physically, *AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!*, >"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!", simotameously.

AKIO: Oh, now Katie’s involved! I love threesomes!

REANNA: Stoppit!

(TOUGA and AKIO chant the words "peanut butter and jelly"; REANNA covers her ears and slumps down)

REANNA: Don’t remind me.

>*must... not... think.. about... dream... ugh, Dios help me,* she thought. Dios did >not appear however, really what did you expect, he said once he couldn't interfere. >*Sheesh* thought the author.
>E-chan burst into Katie-sama's dorm, "you... must... help... me..."

REANNA: You… must… stop… using… so… many… ellipses…

>he said, straining against strong rage that roared in his ears. His eyes cleared >momentarily, "wait, why did you scream?" he asked turning his head from side to >side suspicously, pulling out a ridiculously big gun.

AKIO: Now that sounds suggestive.

>"I had a.. very... special dream," she said sheepishly. "What about?" E-chan asked >still swiveling his head but squinting curiously to catch any movement he might >have missed. "Akio... Touga... doing, something..." she nearly choked in fear. "Ah, >I always new you liked Akio," he said nonchalantly. Katie-sama was up and off the >bed in aproximately 2.3 seconds.

REANNA: Miki must have been there with his stopwatch.

>"WHAT?!?!" she protested loudly, very loudly.
>"You like Akio," E-chan repeated calmly. "I like no such thing!" screeched Katie->sama indignantly. "Whatever, come on let's go."

ALL: We agree!

(EVERYONE runs out of Ohtori no Gekijou now that the fic has ended)