"Touga Flavored Candy"

or

"Okay, now we want you to lean over and lick Touga, okay . . . how does he taste . . .* purses lips * He tastes Touga-flavored"

BY SILVERWOLF AND MIKI NO MIKO

Juri, Miki, Saionji, Anthy, Chu Chu and Utena all stared at yellow official-looking envelopes and then, at each other.

"YOU! You . . . got invited to Touga's party!" Then everyone turned to Miki and said, "Ya know . . . this isn't exactly your type of party!"

Miki held up his invitation cutely and tilted his head, "But this is from Nanami-sama!"

The Student Council, Anthy and Utena (yes . . . along with Chu Chu) whipped their heads around to stare at Miki and then at their lack of clothes (they were only in their underwear . . . they would have been naked . . . but it was cold out!).

"Ner . . . ner . . . okay . . . well if we go in a group and just see what she wants . . . maybe we'll actually survive."

Everyone nodded and followed big yellow rose-shaped signs with big ass bows! Then, they arrived at the ballroom; it was covered with chairs and had . . . A STAGE! They all sat down and then suddenly got strapped down with metal handcuff-things and small metal rods held their eyes open.

Akio wanders into the Kiryuu Mansion and sees the mass of tied up people. He sits next to Juri, whose eyes widen even more than usual! Akio started to play with the orange cork-screw curls and until it was too late because . . . SNAP! The dean was caught too and he rather enjoyed it!

Saionji heard something and freaked, "What the hell is that?!"

Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap * giggle * tap tap tap * giggle * tap tap tap tap tap

Utena tried to run, but realized she was bound to a hentai chair, and screamed… "NO! Not again!"

All of a sudden they all saw a random crowd of shrieking fangirls dressed in the Ohtori school uniform and carrying towels.

Then they all said in unison (IN JAPANESE!) "Utena-sama, you're so cool! Here you want to use my towel?" By the time they were done, Utena was covered with random towels up to her eyes. She sighed. "Well, at least I'm warm now!"

The room lights are cut and spotlights pan to the drums being played by Mitsuru. Then you see Nanami and her minions walk onto the stage and they're all wearing mini-skirts and big ass bows. The minions start grooving and Nanami steps further up on the stage and a gigantic spotlight zooms onto her. Oh . . . and by the way, she's holding a whip, a big one, made of red leather.

She opens her mouth and begins to sing to the tune of "I Want Candy," "I know a guy who's a bastard, but sweet . . . he's so fine, deserves a good beat." As she grooves, she lashes out her whip for amusement and to get a chair! Then the singing goes on, "He's got everything that I desire, he sets the Akio car on fire."

The spotlight pans to the audience where Akio nods and grins and tries to make little perverted gestures . . . 'cept he's tied up and stuff!

Then she and her minions launched into the chorus, "I want Touga, I want Touga."

And then Nanami continues, "Gonna see him when he gets home, and then I'll have to ditch the gnome . . . "

She whips her whip at Mitsuru who looks pained and sighs.

The singing continues, "You're the guy that the dean ordered . . . "

Akio starts to mumble something that sounded suspiciously like, "Not for you, that's for sure!"

Again with the singing, "So sweet, you make my mouth water."

Everyone is grossed out by this and goes, "Ew . . . Nanami . . . keep it to yourself!" Then, the lights pan to Anthy who tries to shake her head and says, "Yuck . . . Nanami, that's your brother. That's just gross!"

Then the music faltered a bit and everyone stared at her, Akio and Utena laughing. Anthy purses her lips, "Huh?" Then Chu Chu leans over and whispers something in her ear, Anthy then blushes and looks amused, "Oh . . . heh heh . . . never mind . . . carry on."

The music restarts, "I want Touga, I want Touga!" "YEAH!"

Touga was wandering around the mansion scantily clad with Kozue draped on him. Passing by the ballroom, he hears his name . . . "Hmm . . . why are the lights out." He turns the lights on and steps in. Everyone realizes they're free and stampedes to the door, but found them locked!

Then they all turned to Touga and Kozue. Miki's eyes widened, "Kozue?!" Kozue turned and smirked, "Miki!" Touga turned to Utena, who ran to the stage and started to tap dance (I think it was the effect of some strange curry she ate before this whole odd story began).

Touga then realized that everyone had surrounded him, next thing you know he's naked on a chair on the stage tied with a big ass bow. The group had offered him up as a ticket to leave the mansion as soon as the song ended.

END . . .