IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE ...

(page up on 9/7/97 1:59 HK)

  The Old Version Says ...

                       If you love someone,
                       Set her free ...
                       If she comes back, she's yours,
                       If she doesn't, she was never ...

 The New Versions ...

      Pessimist:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free ...
                      If she ever comes back, she's yours,
                      If she doesn't, as expected, she never was ...

      Optimist:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free ...
                      Don't worry, she will come back.

      Suspicious:
                      (1) If you love someone,
                          Set her free ...
                          If she ever comes back, ask her why.
                      (2) If you love someone,
                          Set her free ... but get someone to follow her
                      (3) If you love someone,
                          ...
                          are you sure you love that someone?

      Go-getter:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free ...
                      If she comes back, she's yours,
                      If she doesn't, go get her !

      Hunter:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free ...
                      Don't even wait whether she comes back, go hunt her down!

      Impatient:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free ...
                      If she doesn't come back within some time
                      forget her.

      Patient:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free ...
                      If she doesn't come back, continue to wait
                      until she comes back ...

      Playful:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free ...
                      * If she comes back, and if you love her still,
                      set her free again,
                      repeat *

      C++ Programmer:
                      if(you->love(m_she))
                      m_she->free()
                      if(m_she == NULL)
                      m_she= new CShe;

      Posessive:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free? NEVER !

      Paranoid:
                      If you love someone,
                      When you let her go, she'll be out to get you.

      Fascist:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free ...
                      She WILL come back or be shot.
                      She WILL be yours or be shot.

      Old-Fashioned/Conservative:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free,
                      But only if chaperoned by her parents.

      Animal-Rights Activist:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free,
                      In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free !

      Lawyers:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free,
                      Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment
                      of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that ...

      Bill Gates:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free,
                      If she comes back,
                      I think we can charge her for re-installation fees
                      and but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

      Biologist:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free,
                      She'll evolve.

      Statisticians:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free,
                      If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high.
                      If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.

      Dental hygienist:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free,
                      She'll be back when the cavity strikes.

      Shwarzenegger's fans:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free,
                      SHE'LL BE BACK !

      Weatherman:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free,
                      If she comes back, it's back !
                      If she doesn't... who cares !

      Pathetic:
                      If you love someone,
                      Set her free,
                      If she comes back, okay !
                      If she doesn't, how could her !

      Sore-looser:
                      If you love someone,
                      Let her go,
                      If she comes back, dump her !
                      If she doesn't, make up bad stories about her !
Taken from Shadow's Homepage back to index page? 1