RECIPES

There are very few Great Recipes in the world. Below are a few that my friends will vouch for. I trust them. But I've given their E-Mail Addresses in case you need to ask them questions.

Shortbread  Buttermilk Rusks   Koeksusters  Melktert   Carrot Cake  Basic Biscuit Recipe  Brownies  Bolognaise  Lamb & Lentil Curry  Saucy Seafood Surprise  Saddle of Venison with Apricots  Pot Roast Leg of Venison  Cheesy Potato Bake  Ice Cream  Meringues  Sosaties  Boerewors  Bobotie  Hertzog Cookies  Scones 

You Might need to know this beforehand:

Converting ounces to grams:
 
1oz = 28.35grams
2oz. = 56.7gr
4oz. = 113.4 gr.
8 oz.= 226.8gr.
16oz (1lb ) = 453.6gr. 
 
Converting pounds to kilograms.
 
1 lb = 0.45 kg.
2 lb = 0.9 kg
5 lb. = 2.3 kg.
10 lb. = 4.5 kg.
100lb. = 45kg.
 
1 kilogram = 1,000 grams = 2.2lb.

Or go here for an online Imperial-Metric Converter http://www.worldwidemetric.com/metcal.htm 

Shortbread (Submitted by Maatjie Greeff E-Mail ) (my mother waited 30 years to get this one off an old lady who passed it on with her dying breath, well almost, and I believe it is the ultimate shortbread recipe.) 

Ingredients :

5 cups of Cake Flour
1 cup of Castor Sugar
500 grams of Butter (absolutely not margarine)

Method :

  1. Cream together the Butter and Sugar while adding Sugar a little (very little)  at a time.
  2. Stir in the Cake Flour. The resulting mixture must not stick to your hands.
  3. Press into jam roll tins. This must be no more than 1 cm thick. Bake at 140°C for 30 minutes or more. The top be golden brown when done.

Buttermilk Rusks (a dunker's delight) (Submitted by Maatjie Greeff E-Mail )

Ingredients :

1.5 kg of Self-Raising Flour
3 teaspoons of Baking Powder
500 grams of Hard Margarine
1 cup of Sugar
2 Eggs
500 ml Buttermilk
1 tablespoon of Aniseed
1 cup of Bran

Method :

  1. Sift together the Baking Powder and Self-Raising Flour.
  2. Rub in the Butter. Then add in the Sugar, Bran and Aniseed.
  3. Seperately mix the Buttermilk and Eggs together. Then add this resultant mix to the Flour mixture.
  4. Kneed the whole lot well.
  5. Make balls and put these on a baking tray.
  6. Bake at 160ºC for 30 to 45 minutes.
  7. Allow to cool and then break into pieces. Dry these pieces in an oven at 100º Celcius while leaving the oven door slightly ajar.

Koeksusters (kinda doughnut) (Submitted by Maatjie Greeff E-Mail )

The Syrup :

To be made the day before and left in the fridge to cool down. Boil well 3 cups of Water with 24 grams of Root Ginger. Then remove the Ginger and add 3 more cups of Water. Bring to boil again. Then add 2.5 kgs (12 cups) of Sugar and allow to boil for 5 minutes. Put in fridge.

The Pastry :

6 cups of Plain Flour
6 teaspoons of Baking Powder
125 grams of Margarine
2 Eggs
125ml Evaporated Milk
312ml Lukewarm Water
A Pinch of Salt
Mix all the above together and kneed well. Then leave to rest.

The Method :

  1. Roll the dough flat into an oval/square until it is 5mm thick. Cut the dough into strips 2.5cm across. Then cut these strips into lengths of 6cm. (So you are left with a whole bunch of rectangles 2.5cm x 6cm.)
  2. Then make two cuts along the length of the rectangles so that you can braid them. What you're aiming at is the same braid in a scout's toggle. (or similar to a girl's 3-strand braid in her hair.) When you're finished you should have a whole bunch of braided dough pastries ready to be boiled in oil.....
  3. cook these in hot oil and dip the whole cooked Koeksuster immediately into your cool syrup that you've hauled out the fridge.
  4. Remove from the syrup and allow to cool (on a newspaper) before eating.

Melktert : Milk Tart (Submitted by Maatjie Greeff E-Mail )

The Crust :

  1. Beat together 113 grams of Soft Margarine, 1 tablespoon of Castor Sugar and 1 Egg Yolk.
  2. Sift together 1 cup of Flour and 1 teaspoon of Baking Powder and add this to the first mixture. Then add Half a Cup of Milk and Water. This will result in a soft dough.
  3. Butter 2 Tart plates and spread the dough with a spoon across the bottom and sides.

The Filling :

  1. Boil together 3.5 cups of Milk and one tablespoon of Butter.
  2. Meanwhile, mix together 2 rounded tablespoons of Flour, 2 rounded spoons of Maizeno, the Yolk of 4 Eggs and 1 cup of Milk.
  3. Stir this mixture into the boiling milk mixture and boil until cooked. Then add 1 cup of Sugar and remove from the stove.
  4. Beat the Whites of the 5 Eggs until stiff and add this to the boiled mixture.
  5. Put the resultant into your 2 prepared Tart plates and bake at 180ºC for 20 minutes.

Carrot Cake (Submitted by Elise Goldstone E-Mail)

Ingredients :

340 grams of Cooked Carrots, pureed
2 cups of Ground Almonds
6 Eggs, separated
250 grams of Sugar
1 teaspoon of Butter
1 tablespoon of Grated Orange Rind
12,5 ml of Brandy

Method :

  1. Grease a 220 mm loose-bottomed cake tin with the Butter and set aside.
  2. Beat the Egg Yolks in a bowl until pale and frothy, then add the Sugar gradually, beating all the time, until the mixture is thick and creamy and makes a ribbon trail if the whisk is lifted.
  3. Stir in the Carrot Puree, Orange Rind, Brandy and Almonds and blend well.
  4. Beat the Egg Whites until stiff and fold into the Carrot mixture with a spatula. Spoon into the prepared cake tin.
  5. Bake in the center of the oven at 160°C until a skewer inserted into the center comes out clean, about 50 minutes.
  6. Remove from the oven and leave to cool in the tin for 15 minutes. Turn out carefully onto a wire rack to cool completely. This cake can also be frozen

Basic Biscuit Recipe : for boring Saturday afternoons (Submitted by Elise Goldstone E-Mail)

Ingedients :

1 kilogram of Cake Flour
500 grams of Margarine
500 grams of Sugar
5 Eggs
2 tablespoons of Baking Powder
2 teaspoons of Salt

Method :

  1. Sift the dry ingredients, except the Sugar, together into a mixing bowl.
  2. Cream the Margarine and Sugar in another bowl until light and fluffy.
  3. Add the Eggs to the creamed mixture, one by one, beating well after each addition.
  4. Fold in the dry ingredients and mix well. The mixture can be frozen at this point for later use.
  5. Roll the dough out to a thickness of 5 mm on a lightly floured surface and press out biscuits with a cutter. Place on a greased baking sheet and bake in the oven at 180°C for 10 minutes.

Variations :

  1. Spice biscuits : Add 1 teaspoon each of Ground Ginger, Ground Cinnamon and Mixed Spice to the dry ingredients.
  2. Coconut biscuits : Add 120 grams of Desiccated Coconut to the dry ingredients.
  3. Coffee biscuits : Add 50 ml Coffee essence to the dough.
  4. Chocolate Chip biscuits : Add 80 grams of Chocolate Chips to dry ingredients.
  5. Nut biscuits : Add 80 grams of Chopped Unsalted Nuts to dry ingredients.

NOTE: To freeze, shape dough into long rolls 4 to 5 cm in diameter, wrap well and freeze. To bake, cut the rolls into 5 to 7 mm slices and bake on a greased baking sheet as above for 7 to 10 minutes.

Brownies (ooooh baby ! ) (Submitted by Elise Goldstone E-Mail)

Ingredients :

110 grams of Self-Raising Flour
170 grams of Sugar
4 Eggs
110 grams of Butter
110 grams of Plain Chocolate
110 grams of Ground Almonds

Method :

  1. Place the Butter and Chocolate in the top half of a double-boiler over hot Water, or in a basin over a saucepan of hot Water, and heat gently until the Chocolate has melted.
  2. Meanwhile, beat the Eggs and Sugar together in a bowl until light and thick.
  3. Fold the Chocolate mixture into the Egg mixture, then fold in the Self-Raising Flour and Nuts.
  4. Pour the mixture into a greased and lined shallow tin, 250 x 200 mm and bake in the oven at 180°C until firm, about 40 minutes.
  5. Turn out onto a wire rack and cut into fingers.

NOTE: Brownies should be sticky in the middle, so do not bake too long.

Greg’s Gorgeous Gruntus Bolognaise  (submitted by Greg van Schaik E-Mail

Ingredients:
3 cloves garlic
500g mince
1 large onion (at least!!!)
1 fat grated carrot and/ or some chopped celery
1 tin whole peeled (or chopped) tomatoes
1 tin tomato paste
1 t chutney
green pepper
mushrooms   }
olives            } (optional)
bacon            }
olives            }
1 t sugar
½ t basil
½ t origanum
bay leaves
peppercorns (whole)
big pinch curry
touch of thyme
dash of rosemary 

Method:

  1. Greg never wrote this down.

  2. Perhaps he figures everyone knows how to do this?


Lamb & Lentil Curry (submitted by Greg van Schaik E-Mail  


Ingredients:
45ml (3t)  sunflower oil
6 whole cardamom pods
2 ml (1/2 t) whole coriander (or 15ml scorched ground coriander)
1-3 cinnamon sticks
4-6 cloves garlic, crushed
2 onions, chopped
5-10ml (1-2 t) crushed dried chili
small bunch coriander leaves
25ml (5t) grated fresh ginger
10 ml (2t) turmeric
1.5 lamb knuckles
4 tomatoes, skinned and diced
3 potatoes, peeled and diced
250 ml (1cup) brown lentils, washed well
500ml (2 cups)  stock (veg or meat)
salt  to taste
15 ml (3 t) mild curry powder
2 bayleaves
30 ml lemon juice
star aniseed 

Method:
1.  Fry the whole spices in oil until they pop, to release the flavour
2.  Sear floured meat in hot oil
3.  Heat oil in heavy-based saucepan until hot but not smoking
4.  Add whole cardamom pods, etc. And leave for a minute or two
5.  Add garlic and onions and sauté briefly
6.  Add remaining spices and mix well
7.  Add a little more oil and heat. Add knuckle.
8.  Add tomatoes', potatoes and lentils
9.  Pour stock over (wine) reduce temp and simmer until tender
 
Saucy Seafood Surprise (submitted by Greg van Schaik E-Mail

Ingredients Part 1:

One whole whack of freshly harvested mussels plus, if desired, a packet of frozen marinara mix or alternatively any damned seafood bits that you like! 

Method Part 1:

  1. Fry a couple of onions, a greenpepper and a lot of crushed garlic cloves in olive oil.

  2. Prepare mussels normally (i.e. Steam open and extract meat).

  3. Stir-fry marinara mix in hot (+ + +) pan with a little oil and garlic (and ginger if you feel adventurous).

  4. When done, add mussels and onion mix, to which add the following witches brew….

Ingredients Part 2:
            - 1 cup wine (vintage optional)
            - 1 tin whole peeled tomatoes, chopped fine
            - 1 t tomato paste/puree
            - 1 t sugar
            - black pepper
            - salt (to taste, like everything else)
            - packet of black olives
            - a touch of worcester sauce
            - 1/2 to 1/4 t (depending on your philosophy) of the following:
                        origanum
                        marjoram
                        thyme
                        sweet basil (yes!)
                        Cajun spice
            - dash of allspice (pimento)
            - touch of coriander
            - 1/4 t cumin (jeera)
            - sprinkle of ground ginger
            - splash of tobasco sauce
            - chili - quantity depending on the state of your ring } this is where an element of surprise could creep in!! (the next day)

                                                                                
Method Part2:

  1. Cook up for a while, while you sample the aforementioned vintage, and serve on a bed of rice. 

  2. Ensure excess moisture is cooked off.


Saddle of Venison with Apricots (submitted by Greg van Schaik E-Mail

Ingredients:
3kg saddle of venison
20g streaky bacon,rind removed
37.5ml (3 tablespoons (t) ) apricot jam
25ml fruit chutney
500g canned apricot halves
37.5ml medium sherry
2 – 4 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
5ml (1 teaspoon (t)) mixed fried herbs
10ml (2t) salt
freshly ground black pepper

Method:

  1. Make slits in the saddle using a sharp knife and stuff the incisions with slivers of garlic.

  2. Season with salt, pepper and herbs, then cut the saddle loose from the backbone, leaving the meat attached to the ribs.

  3. In a bowl combine the jam chutney and sherry and rub the mixture into the meat.

  4. Place bacon rashers over the saddle and bake, uncovered, in the oven at 160 c (325f) for 40 to 60 minutes.

  5. Serve with canned apricot halves.


Pot Roast Leg of Venison (submitted by Greg van Schaik E-Mail

Ingredients:
1 leg of venison, 2 to 2.5 kg
250g lardons (strips of spec)
1 onion, thinly sliced
25ml (2t) flour
25ml (2t) fat or oil
25ml (2t) brown sugar
100g seedless raisons
500ml vinegar
250ml dry red wine
50ml medium sherry (optional)
50ml(4t) apricot jam
2 cloves garlic (or more) cut into thin slivers
2ml (1/2 t) ground ginger
1 bay leaf
6 cloves
25ml (2t) salt
2ml (1/2 t) pepper
 

Method:

  1. Marinate the lardons for 45 minutes in a mixture of 125ml of the vinegar,5ml of the salt and 5ml of the sugar.

  2. With a sharp pointed knife , pierce holes in the leg of venison and stuff each incision with a raison, a sliver of garlic and a marinated lardon.

  3. Rub the rest of the salt and sugar , and the pepper and ground ginger into the meat.

  4. Place the meat in an earthenware or glass container together with the onion slices, bay leaf and the rest of the vinegar and red wine.

  5. Marinate for 2 to 3 days, turning the venison twice daily.

  6. Heat the fat or oil in a heat saucepan and brown the meat.

  7. Add the cloves and 250ml water and simmer till tender, 2 to 3 hours.

  8. Make a paste with the flour, apricot jam and sherry and baste the meat with it.

  9. Roast for a further 5 minutes. Serve with stewed dried fruit, quinces or apples.  


Cheesy Potato Bake (submitted by Greg van Schaik E-Mail  
(should really be called rosemary potato bake)
 

Ingredients:
650g potatoes, peeledand cut into slices
1 onion finely chopped
2 cloves garlic crushed
15 ml butter
1 bay leaf
15 ml dry rosemary
75 g cottage cheese
250 ml cream
5 ml paprika
salt & pepper to taste
grated cheddar cheese and breadcrumbs for sprinkling on top
15 ml chopped parsley
 

Method:

  1. Preheat the oven to 190 c(375 f).

  2. Grease an ovenproof dish with butter or margarine.

  3. Arrange the potato pieces in the prepared dish.

  4. Saute the onion and garlic in melted butter till soft.

  5. Add the bay leaf, rosemary, cottage cheese, cream , paprika and salt and pepper to taste.

  6. Mix well, reduce the heat and simmer slowly for about 1 minutes till the sauce thickens slightly.

  7. Pour over the potatoes and sprinkle with a little grated cheddar cheese, breadcrumbs and parsley.

  8. Bake for about 1 ½ hours or till the potatoes are soft and done.  


Kay’s Ice Cream (submitted by Kay & Peter Bale) 

Ingredients:
1 tin condensed milk
4 egg yolks
500 ml cream
2 tablespoons brandy (or Van der Hum)
1 teaspoon vanilla essence

 

Method:

  1. Combine egg yolks and condensed milk.

  2. Beat cream until fairly stiff.

  3. Add to condensed milk mixture.

  4. Add vanilla and brandy.

  5. Freeze.

  6. Chomp.

Meringues (submitted by Dot Hooper) 

Ingredients:

1 egg white
1 cup castor sugar
2 t white vinegar
2 t boiling water
1 t  vanilla essence 

Method:

  1. Put the whole lot into a mixing bowl and beat at high speed for 10 minutes.

  2. Scoop out a teaspoon (for small ones) onto a baking sheet.

  3. Bake at 120 c for 20 minutes.

  4. Switch off oven and leave for 20 minutes.

Sosaties (submitted by Greg van Schaik E-Mail

Ingredients:
1 large leg of lamb (about 2.5 kg) boned trimmed and cubed
125g dried apricots
sheeps fat or sliced bacon
marinade
2 large onions skinned and quartered
125ml white vinegar
375 ml dry red wine
12 lemon leaves bruised for flavour
15 ml brown sugar
45 ml curry powder
30 ml ground coriander
10 ml salt
5 ml ground allspice
2 ml ground cumin
1 ml ground cardamom
milled black pepper
 

Method:

  1. In medium saucepan combine marinade ingredients, cover and simmer for 5 minutes.

  2. Cool then pour over cubed lamb, turning to coat well. (use enamel, glass or stainless steel container).

  3. Marinate, covered and refrigerated, for 3 – 5 days, turning the meat a couple of times a day.

  4. Before preparing the skewers place dried apricots in a small bowl, pour over boiling water and leave to plump up for an hour or two.

  5. Assemble the Sosaties as follows: cut the fat into the thinnest slivers possible, then thread with the meat, apricots and slices of onion (from the marinade) onto the skewers.

  6. Return the Sosaties to the marinade until Braai (BBQ) time.

  7. Braai over hot coals, basting with remaining marinade, for 15 – 20 minutes.

  8. The lamb should still be pink in the centre (makes about 16)

Boerewors (Boer=Farmer. Wors=Sausage.) (submitted by Greg van Schaik E-Mail)

(You want to make a South African feel nostalgic? Feed him Boerewors. The Boerwors recipe is considered a National Treasure and everyone has their own voodoo to make it better.) 

Ingedients:
2 kg well matured beef
1kg fatty pork (neck, shoulder, belly)
45 ml whole coriander
5ml whole cloves
30 ml salt
15 ml milled black pepper
2 ml grated nutmeg
10 ml ground allspice
10 ml brown sugar
125 ml dry red wine or dark vinegar
90 g thick sausage casings, soaked in water
 

Method:

  1. Prepare beef and pork by trimming off all sinew, and other nasty bits and pieces that may affect the texture.

  2. To facilitate mincing, cut meat into long, narrow strips about 3 cm in diameter and freeze for about 30 minutes.

  3. Mince meat through a course mincer for a rough texture , or finely if you prefer.

  4. Allow the meat to be fed through with very little assistance from the tamper.

  5. Finish off by mincing a piece of bread to remove every vestige of meat from the mincer.

  6. Roast coriander and cloves in a dry frying pan, tossing the spices about until uniformly brown and aromatic.

  7. Don’t allow to burn.

  8. Grind spices with a pestle and mortar, sift to remove husks, mix with remaining spices and sugar and sprinkle over the mince.

  9. Lightly mix in wine or vinegar.
    Drain the casings and place over one end of the filling horn and carefully push all of the casings on leaving a 10 cm length hanging down.

  10. Tie a knot in this.

  11. Grabbing hold of a second pair of hands at this point makes wors-making less traumatic.

  12. You can then feed the mixture in while assistant hold the casings, guiding the filling in.

  13. Feed the mixture into the mincer a little at a time , while securing the casing with a gentle pressure of one hand on the horn to control the unrolling of the casing as its filled.

  14. Mould the sausage with your hand to make it uniformly thick.

  15. Don’t pack the casings too full, or the wors will burst while cooking, but try to avoid air bubbles.

  16. After the casing has been filled, remove it – still attached to the horn – from the machine.

  17. Push any remaining filling into the casing and tie a knot in the end.

  18. Braai quickly over hot coals.

  19. The skin should be crisp and the middle just pink.

  20. Serve immediately.


Bobotie (submitted by Greg van Schaik E-Mail  
Bobotie is one of the best known South African dishes , and like Sosaties, Chutney, Sambals and some preserves it was brought to South Africa by Muslim slaves in the late 17th century. It was traditionally made from left over meat (The roast leg of mutton from the Sunday meal was served as Bobotie on Monday). When made from minced left – over meat  - be it mutton, beef of venison – the Bobotie will have a much finer texture than when made from fresh meat. The same ingredients are used, with a slight change in cooking times.

Ingredients:
1 kg minced beef or mutton
2 mediun sized onions,peeled and thinly sliced
30 ml oil
15 ml medium curry powder
5 ml turmeric
30 ml white vinegar or lemon juice
15 ml sugar
5 ml salt
2 ml black pepper
1 slice white bread (3 cm thick)
250 ml milk
2 large eggs
75 g seedless raisins
45 ml fruit chutney
grated rind of 1 lemon
2 bay leaves
6 – 12 almonds blanched and quartered
6 lemon leaves

Method:


  1. Parboil the onions in a little water until just opaque, then drain, reserving the water, chop and fry in the oil until just golden.

  2. Add the curry powder and turmeric.

  3. Fry for 2 minutes, stirring all the time, then add the vinegar or lemon juice, sugar, salt and pepper.

  4. In the meantime, soak the bread in the milk, the squeeze dry, strain the milk and set aside.

  5. Crumble the minced raw meat into a pan with the onion water and a little boiling water. Cook for 5 minutes.

  6. Next, lightly mix the meat, soaked bread, onion mixture, 1 egg, raisins, chutney, and lemon rind (if used).

  7. Pack into a buttered casserole, add the bay leaves, cover and cook in the oven ( 180° c) for 1 1/2 hours.

  8. Remove from the oven and stick the almonds and lemon leaves (turned into little cones) into the meat.

  9. Whip up the remaining egg with the milk – add about half the cup more to make a full cup (250 ml) and carefully pour onto the meat (over the back of a spoon) to make a smooth layer.

  10. Return the casserole to the oven, turning the heat down to 150° c and bake uncovered foe a further 30minutes, or until the custard has set.

  11. If you decide to use cooked meat instead, smooth the mixture down in a buttered dish.

  12. Place the lemon leaf cones and whole almonds on top of the meat and pour over the remaining whipped egg and milk.

  13. Place a flat pan of water on the bottom shelf of the oven.

  14. When it begins to bubble, place the Bobotie dish in the water and bake for 45 minutes or until the custard has set.


Hertzog Cookies. (Submitted by Maatjie Greeff E-Mail )

Ingredients: 
4 cups self-raising flour
100gr (1 tablespoon) butter (25gr=10 oz).
350gr sugar
Yolk from 3 eggs 
A Pinch of salt


Method:

  1. Rub butter into flour, add sugar and salt.

  2. Mix to a stiff dough with beaten egg yolks.

  3. Add a bit of milk if necessary. 

  4. Roll and cut into circles big enough to line patty tins.


Filling Ingredients:
White from 3 eggs
3 quarter cup of castor sugar
1 cup coconut


Filling Method:

  1. Beat egg whites to stiff and gradually add sugar. 

  2. Lastly add the coconut.

  3. Place a bit (a little less than half a teaspoon) apricot jam in centre of lined patty tin and fill with coconut mixture.

  4. Decorate with a piece of glazed cherry (optional)

  5. Bake at 200 c ( 350 f) for 10 minutes

Scones and Turds (Submitted by Lilian Weide E-Mail)

A cheap recipe that bakes quickly. O.K. If you’re just going to copy this recipe, and not follow the tips, don’t bother. You will be wasting your time, and will be disappointed. The success is in the method and serving.

Ingredients:
225g self raising flour
2.5ml salt
5ml baking powder
50g butter or margarine
150 ml milk
Strawberry Jam
Cream

Method:

  1. Preheat oven to 230°C/450°F. 

  2. The oven must be hot (You’re not making a cake)

  3. Sift dry ingredients together 3 times. 

  4. You have to incorporate as much air as possible into the mixture to make it light.

  5. Using a blunt knife, cut the margarine into the mixture until it looks like breadcrumbs. 

  6. Don’t use your hands it will flatten the mixture. (Use your hands when you make bread. Not Scones.).

  7. Still using the blunt knife, mix in the milk.

  8. Put mixture onto floured surface.

  9. Pat lightly to 2cm thick. 

  10. Cut the scones into smaller circles. (Don’t cut big scones) 

  11. Cut triangles if you don’t feel like circles.

  12. Press leftovers together lightly, and cut more circles. 

  13. Don’t be tempted to make them look pretty – nobody will see the tops because you will be cutting them in half remember? Anyway, the more you knead this, the more it becomes heavy and rock like.

  14. Bake for 10 minutes. 


Serving Method:

  1. Just before serving, cut in half, butter them and add strawberry jam and cream. (They don’t look good if they stand for a long time)

  2. Serve only with strawberry jam and cream. 

  3. If you don’t eat butter and cream, forget the Scones and go for the bran muffins!

  4. The scone should be light and airy.

Comments:
I usually wake up 30 minutes earlier on the day I need these, and make them quickly before I go to work. 
They don’t taste good the next day.
Don’t eat too many of these. If you’re hungry, eat the rainbow sandwiches.

How to make a turd. by Lilian Weide 

On my birthday, I made these scones for my colleagues before I went to work. In a Big Hurry.
I noticed the leftover bits of dough that I should pat into another scone. 
I put it together quickly. 
I didn’t have time to smooth out the cracks in the dough. 
I placed it into a hot oven, and promised myself that this ugly scone will be eaten by myself.
It was not to be served to anyone else.
I rushed off to work forgetting the last scone in the oven. 
Forgetting, also, to switch the oven off.
I came home from work and started cooking supper.
I noticed that the oven wass on and that the scone was left in the oven. 
The scone now looked just like a turd.
So I took it to work the next day and put it on your boss’s desk before he arrived. 
The boss was angry the whole day.
...and he destroyed the turd. So I couldn't get it back.
The Moral of the story is: Bosses like Scones. Don't give the Boss a Turd.

 Back to the Top    Sitemap

This page was last updated : Tuesday, October 30, 2007

1