The Question of death

 

Each time a star slips, some people believe that a person had just deceased from the earth. I am not so sure what I believe but it is worth to think about I guess. I have been grown up as a muslim hence I have believed in heaven and hell, and good people and bad people. As long as I was good, heaven was a place that would keep me still on earth in a better way.

 

But when I lost my grandmother, this explanation did not work. I wanted to be sure that she was okay. I wanted to be sure that she was in heaven as she was deserving, but I could not. I have lived with her in my room for almost my whole teenage hood. She was my inspiration, and my guide. Besides unbelievable comfort with being at her lap, and being closer to her good heart, I was always safe from everything bad could happen till that summer day, she has died. I was 17. One year before her death, we have lost a 17-year-old cousin from our family due to heart problems, unexpectedly. Hence, I was already thinking about death. But, her death had shaken me off. I am in my early thirties now, and I can only start to understand my whole misery about her death. It was not only not knowing where she has been afterwards, but also not knowing how I would I live without her. But I did.

 

We all do. A few people dye after they lose their relatives their loved ones, etc. But most of us still keep on living. A cut tree in a family or surroundings makes us to think about “the meaning of death and life”. Otherwise, we tend to ignore not only to search for the answer but also the existence of the question.

 

When somebody dies, when a tree has been cut we start to think of remaining trees, the life of the remaining trees without the tree being cut. We do not think exactly about the person who died. We pretend, but we do not. We think about us, we think about the family and relatives of that specific person, but not that person. Then sorrow begins. Unconsciously tough I believe that the sorrow is due to the fear of unknown and our helplessness facing it.

 

I am not sure if this helps to other people as well, but it helped me. It took my 13 years to be able to say to myself that death is as close to me as the life is. I realized that no matter what the real answer is, this question is one of those questions that we can think of as bliss. We all are free to believe whatever we want to, and nobody can take it from us, as long as we live in consistent with this belief and hope that it is real.

 

Recently, I do believe that reincarnation is not a fussy idea. Even science accepts that nothing is lost from something and nothing is created from nothing. I want to believe that all those little babies and kittens, and little flower buds, and little trees are where we all go afterwards. And it makes me feel comfortable, it makes me to see the beauty in the nature around and think of it as a part of my grandmother and my cousin. Hope that you find comfort someday soon, too!