I stood on the edge of the cliff, overlooking the Sea of Serenity and the palace just beyond. It sparkled and glittered like a jewel, nestled in the relative safety of the vines of sweet scented blossoms, pillars of the smoothest stone and the soft water produced by the magically created fountains. The large dome sparkled in its elegance towards me, haunting my eyes. My long hair flowed in all directions, sent by the refreshing winds. The sea below was calm, as it was always, and I watched it in mild curiosity a moment before turning away.  

I wasn’t there to allow the sight haunt me, allowing guilt to hound me. I was here to end my pain. 

I turned my gaze sharply to the ground directly below. The drop would be swift, and the sea would embrace me quickly. I was born of the sea on Venus, and I would return to the sea on the Moon; born from Beauty, lost in Serenity. It would be a fitting ending.  

I couldn’t bear living on any longer; it would be too much. The Princess would be forgiving, I knew, as she always was, and the Queen would be the eternal peace I had sought so often in her wisdom. I would forfeit both of them, my Duty to my weaknesses. In the end, I lost my control to myself. 

My blade would be useless for me, as the magic would heal me just as quickly as it would destroy me. It wasn’t built to turn against its master, and could not be used to destroy those that would not be worthy of its use. It was a symbol of my title and rank in the Senshi, the Eternal Soldiers sworn to protect the Eternal ruler, the Princess. I held it loosely, caressing the edges with delicate fingers with the movements I had long since memorized. Not a drop of blood showed, not a single tear of those I had destroyed with its graceful power. The gold and silver shone with the brilliance that had been shone when it was first created for me. It was antastically light and flawless, a trait I did not own nor will ever achieve. I dropped it, listening to the chime like sounds as it cluttered at my sandals.  

The orange skirt shimmied around my thighs, pushing forward the ribbon of gold at my back and the royal blue at the front, my golden hair gently caressing my face. The wind was oddly calming, despite its wild and free ways. I felt the numbness towards myself I hadn’t felt in ages, not in so natural a setting. I felt out of place; this place of shimmering beauty contrasting with the artificial one of my form.  

My compact, and disguise pen followed suite in accordance and, this time, an odd glassy tone when it struck the enchanted metal of my sword. I wouldn’t need them in the after life, if such awaited for me. I had sinned too often and no amount of healing could give me repent for the people I wronged, nor the mistakes I made. I didn’t deserve to live so many lives, nor have so much power.  Princess and warrior, I didn’t belong here, among the warriors who were so pure in comparison to the darkness I held.  

By the right of being the Leader of the Sailor Senshi, I was allowed a second identity, in the assumption that I would act alone in many situations. As Venus, soldier of Venus, my power would be greater only with my friends around me to draw power from. As V, the masked maiden of justice and love, I drew the strength I needed from myself and the moon I protected.  

I couldn’t fault Gregory for giving me the power I didn’t deserve. He was only trying to give the advice that was asked for, and had been brilliant in his ideas. Sometimes, I wished I could have told him just how much I appreciated his help. 

I couldn’t help but smile when I saw, in my mind, all those times I had lounged around the computer and had first christened him my ‘Boss’, a name that soon came to mind quicker than Gregory ever did and even chosen frequently by Artemis to be called by. We all smiled when we mentioned it off handedly, and it had been a quiet conspiracy between all three of us. 

‘Here,’ I remembered his voice, still sounding oddly metallic to me. ‘Catch.’ And I did. I remembered how I had been impressed by the workmanship of both the disguise pen and compact, each more special and carefully designed the Sailor 
Senshi’s ever were. The tiny engraved roses and delicately painted vines of leaves were beautiful. 

I don’t think I would ever forget that day… 

I gently caressed the metal of the crescent compact curiously, still amazed at the slight tingle when I felt the power locked and 
harnessed within. The pen was equally as beautiful, but the compact struck me as radiant, and I wondered why he had changed the 
shape of the transformer from the normal henshin pens to an engraved moon.  

It was oddly refreshing and relaxing; symbolic, almost.  

"Thank you, Gregory," I murmured quietly, turning to smile brightly at him. I admired him secretly, and he often became a confidant 
when I couldn’t find understanding from Artemis, nor solace from Mars. Though he couldn’t understand as deeply as 
either of them, he set me straight with my Duty and made me forget that all problems would cease once I focused on the Princess and 
what I knew I must do. I wasn’t sure he had many friends, since most of the normal court were intimidated by his knowledge and 
skill. I knew that he and Mercury cooperated quite well, and that the Queen herself often spoke to him. What about, I couldn’t 
possibly know, but I wasn’t about to interrogate him to find out.  

He smiled back, his dark eyes twinkling. "None needed, Venus. An idea in the shape of a gift. I thought that it might be worthwhile to 
see if it were possible to design such an item."  

"They’re beautiful," I admitted, still caught off guard by the pair. "What idea? Why me?" I asked a moment later, realizing that I 
was being short with him. I raised my eyes to stare into his own, using all my will to tear my gaze away from the unnatural twinkling of 
the golden metal.  

I couldn’t be sure, but I knew he was smug. "Perhaps it would be better to not talk in the hallway?" He offered instead. I flushed 
a light color, I knew, glancing around a moment in concern. The Engineer laughed softly. "No one heard us, Venus, if that is your 
worry." 

I grimaced slightly, then began motioning for him to explain as quickly as possibly. In another few moments, we were both in his 
computer room, and I nearly stumbled when I saw Artemis, also grinning smugly at me. "Finally," he muttered darkly, but the effect was 
ruined when he smiled at me.  

"What are you two up to? I’m not getting dragged into a conspiracy, am I? I’m busy enough, thank you."  

"You wanted an explanation, and we all know how stubborn you are with anything new and untested. You never were any good with 
anything beyond Senshi worth." Gregory chided. I blushed again.  

"Basically, it is an extension of your rights of being Leader of the Sailor Senshi." Artemis began. He eyed me critically and continued 
when I remained silent, more intrigued now, "You know very well that working alone as a Planetary Senshi is dangerous because of 
the drain in power, and you are often alone as Leader. You are too motivated to listen to reason to stay and go as a team…" 

"It is better to have only one member taken and not the entire team destroyed!" I protested.  

"Perhaps, and that is a sound argument, but a dangerous one. We shouldn’t take the unnecessary risk. You do realize that you 
are the only Senshi that can’t draw from an element, right?" Gregory quickly picked up. 

I was beginning to feel very much trapped. "I draw from love, yes, but I fail to see what that has to do with anything. Love is in 
abundance; I have nothing to fear." I said slowly, unsure. They had seemed far too sure of themselves.  

"Against creatures that are all evil? They drain love, Venus, and you never admit just how weak you are after battle. I’m more 
than surprised you haven’t collapsed straight after." 

Artemis chuckled. "Her pride, of course," he replied before I could. I glared at him a moment, before returning my attention to the 
compact and pen in my grasp. "The compact gives you a second identity, perhaps another version of Venus. Sailor V, for short, I 
suppose." 

I arched an eyebrow. I didn’t think my powers could be manipulated that way just by the way I transformed. I gently opened the 
oddly shaped transformer, and blinked my eyes when there was a minor flash of light. When my sight cleared, I saw that it was a mirror 
and, in the reflection, I could see myself in Princess form, the orange of my eyes sparkling and the golden light from my sigil glowing 
softly. I shut it tightly after another moment. <Such delightful surprises,> I thought to myself. 

"I knew you would want a way to see past disguises of enemies and incorporated them into the compact. The disguise pen allows you to 
have better access in the power of Veiling, since I know that all the Senshi lack that power. This time, however, you can change your 
hair and eye color as well. A wider range."  

I glanced at them suspiciously. "And?"  

"And what?" Artemis returned, confused.  

"What other fun things did you do to these things?" I glanced at the shimmering pen and compact, which sparkled almost mysteriously 
with their secrets. "You two are devious in keeping track of us; what else did you do? So far, you&rsquo;ve given me so many new 
abilities, and yet you trust me enough that I wouldn&rsquo;t just use these two more than I should. There must be something you did to 
them." They remained silent, caught. I smiled softly. "You&rsquo;ve just given me tactic permission to go on any planet, even Earth, 
alone and not even needing the others for help. Granted that I wouldn&rsquo;t often, other than spying, but&hellip;" I trailed off 
meaningfully. 

"You can&rsquo;t jump to each planet on your own will, you see. Sailor V is strongest with the Moon&rsquo;s radiance. If you were on 
Earth, you couldn&rsquo;t be in battle forever; the compact would need to be allowed to bathe in the moonlight and recharge. Plus, 
your handicap would be that only your compact controls your crescent beam and shower. It has a few more&hellip;abilities placed 
into it, but you&rsquo;ll just have to figure those out on your own," Artemis said.  

"And, the pen allows me to keep track on your location and keep in contact with you, no matter what," Gregory added. <I knew it,> I 
thought with an inward sigh. 

"Ruin my fun," I grumbled, but it was with a glint in my eyes. Somehow, I felt that Sailor V would soon be very important to all of us. 
Perhaps, even important to the Princess and that was the only thing that mattered to me. 

But I was wrong. Sailor V would never rise to become a name of importance, and, even still, the others knew nothing of my second 
power as a second Senshi. Though I trained often as this new Senshi, I had kept my secret hidden from all except between the three of 
us. Despite Gregory&rsquo;s reluctance, they agreed that they would keep it my secret. 

Already, I could feel my resolution slipping and quickly tightened the self placed steel vise around it. I had to go through with this; I 
couldn&rsquo;t afford not to. 

Pluto would surely know what I had decided, and, if she did, I thanked her for not appearing and beginning to berate me on my place 
in Destiny and how my untimely death would disrupt Time Space and the Gate. I held so little power over the lone Senshi, and I was so 
distant from her. I admired her for her motivations and loyalty to her job and Destiny, despite its glum standards, but keeping so silent 
seemed so extreme to me. Nevertheless, she knew what she was doing and, so far and judging that we were all very much alive, it 
wasn&rsquo;t the wrong way to complete her Duty.  

She was so beautiful, in her own way, but we all were. It was part of our power, in a way, and it represented us as well, in some ways 
like our auras; power in its beauty and yet separating our identities from becoming one.  

It allowed us to build our own characters, but it also allowed us to lose ourselves as well, such as I had. 

I had killed in the name of justice and the safety of the Princess of the Lunar Kingdom, and in the divinity of Venus, I had fought with 
the blessing of Love and Beauty. In battle, there was little appreciation or thought given to those that were dead because they had 
underestimated our power. I was alive simply because my opponents were dead. I wonder, now, when I reminisced about all those 
battles and scorned rage, how I could have been so impassive to the blood that had been dissolved from my energy, nor seeing youma 
charred, frozen, or struck by bursts of lightning. Was I that cold hearted? How could I be considered the warmest Senshi if I did not 
offer a single prayer of peace for the souls that were lost because of my need to defend the Princess? I was ordered into battle; 
couldn&rsquo;t they be ordered as well?  

Mars, I knew, prayed often to the Sacred Fire either in the small temple in a secluded, private garden or on her planet, Jupiter did so 
many offers of selfless actions that it hardly mattered, and Mercury already felt pain she didn&rsquo;t need that she already repented. I 
offered nothing to those that fell before my sword, a flash of energy, or the pain I could give in a moment&rsquo;s notice.  

I didn&rsquo;t deserve to serve under the rule of the Princess, nor her gracious mother, the Queen Serenity. They didn&rsquo;t deserve 
a soulless Princess who was so shallow that she never repaid them for the friendships they offered. I knew I could trust each of them, 
and yet I couldn&rsquo;t tell them anything. Somehow, losing their trust cut me deeper than I realized. They deserved more than I 
could ever give. I knew that, the other Senshi knew that. 

And knowing hurt. 

I had murdered for the sake of the Princess, but it was murder nonetheless. I had little pity for those who chose to use their lives against 
my lieges and my friends. Battles were long and fierce and often painful, as my enemies were always good at dodging my attacks. Only 
after hours, with my opponent badly bruised, cut, and hurt, would it finally end; I would go home and rest, to heal after another long 
skirmish. I paid little mind to their screams of defeat and anguish.  

How could I be dispassionate towards them? Souls were souls, whether dark or light, and we all felt pain. 

For that, to murder those who were innocent in that they couldn&rsquo;t help being who they were, I deserved death; it was a rule for 
those who went against their oaths. My oath had been never to allow the innocent to be injured by my power. If I couldn&rsquo;t keep 
that simple promise to myself, how could I be trusted? 

Mars was a passionate and fiery leader; no one would change her mind otherwise of what was right and what was wrong. She would 
never betray the Princess as I had. Elegant and beautiful like the flames she commanded, I knew she wouldn&rsquo;t lead the others 
into danger. 

Mercury, as well, was far more intelligent than I, the equal to Gregory, and someone with such understanding towards all of us. She 
would never allow emotions to rule good judgement in any situation and could see past many illusions that the others took for granted. 
She, too, would be a fantastic leader. 

Jupiter loved to defend those in need, unselfishly, and I had seen her leap into battle before I would think to gain control of my senses. 
It was because of her that so many were alive due to her impulsiveness. Her strength supported so many and she was sincere in her 
actions. She would never hesitate in doing what was right. 

Even if all of them declined, I knew Uranus would accept. She wouldn&rsquo;t like it, but her wild and free ways would be countered 
by the easy grace of Neptune, and she would listen to reason. Her love of movement wouldn&rsquo;t allow the others to stagnate in 
depression or lack of training. She fought because she loved to fight for the future and her kingdom, not because it was her Destiny to.  

I stopped those trailing thoughts abruptly. Why was I worrying over such details? I knew that they would be mine no longer, but 
someone else&rsquo;s, possibly the Queen&rsquo;s and Pluto&rsquo;s. After another moment, I realized that I was reassuring myself 
in what I was doing; it had to be right, or else I would forever be tormented by what I did wrong because of my foolishness.  

I stepped closer to the edge, over both the sword and the compact.  

I knew I could have chosen to wear my Princess gown, and allow the golden silk to soothe me, but I wouldn&rsquo;t. I wanted to die a 
warrior, though I would be dishonored in my way. I wouldn&rsquo;t die in battle, for I would never purposefully allow an evil being to 
leave me in death and possibly hurt the others; my sword would heal me; no poison could push me into the embrace of death. 

It was only right I returned the way I was born. 

Yet, somehow, it didn&rsquo;t feel right. I was so sure; I had thought this through completely, from cause to effects. The Senshi could 
survive without me, but I could never survive without the Senshi. 

And yet, a memory appeared in my mind, forcing me to freeze. 

I came upon Princess Serenity in the Lunar Gardens, near the large pools of water, sobbing brokenly into her hands. I frowned gently, 
and felt more hurt that my liege and friend was in so much pain she had thrown herself far away from all of us. <Oh Sere!> I ran 
quickly over to her, kneeling beside her and making soft, &lsquo;hush&rsquo; tones to her, as if she were an animal. 

She continued her choking sobs, not replying to my soft inquiries, throwing her arms around me and pulling me close, for comfort. She 
buried her face in my shoulder, and I could feel her warm tears against my skin. I wrapped my arms around her, even as I kneeled, and 
rocked her gently, making soft crooning sounds, like a soft lullaby. 

"Oh Venus! It is just horrible!" She cried out suddenly, as her sobbing slowed. She shivered and shook with her sadness, her mind still 
trying to force her body to calm down.  

"What happened? Are you hurt? Who hurt you?!" I said in a hurry. She raised her teary, reddish eyes to me. Serenity remained silent, 
as if probing my eyes. I didn&rsquo;t hurry her, knowing that she would reveal to me her troubles in her own due time. 

"No one hurt me, Venus," she said softly. Then, she smiled and added, wiping away a tear or two, "You are such a worrywort!" 

"I am performing my Duty!" I returned, my eyes betraying my amusement. I could never hold in my smiles when I saw her smile. Then, I 
softened as soon as her infectious giggles ended. "Now, then, what is troubling you, Princess?" 

"None of that, now. I thought I ordered the lot of you to call me Sere." 

I shrugged. "You did. You can&rsquo;t order habits though."  

She nodded in approval. "I know that very well." She said with a sigh, her eyes twinkling. Then, her next sigh was one of depression. "I 
had an argument with the Prince, Venus. It was my fault really," she added quickly as my anger seethed inside my eyes. I could never 
understand how anyone could disagree with the simple, but pure heart, knowledge and advice of my Princess. Only demons did so. 
"We&hellip;he&hellip;I&hellip;" 

"Excuse me?" I asked, confused. "What are you babbling about?" 

"I was not!"  

"Were too babbling. Luna would not approve, Princess." I returned easily, grinning. She grumbled to herself and I tilted my head to the 
side. "It isn&rsquo;t Princess-like to mumble under your breathe, Princess&hellip;I mean, Sere." 

Serenity smiled. "Well, *Sere* isn&rsquo;t a Princess; for now, Sere is hereby just a commoner of the court! And you, my bubbly, 
over-protective friend, are to be my best friend who will listen to every word and will NOT be the Guardian of Venus, understand?" 

"Of course," I mumbled. Her large, silvery blue eyes gave me a death look a moment, before shrugging. 

"Where was I? Oh, yes. We were in the Gardens, or rather, I was. Prince Endymion has that annoying habit of being everywhere I am 
and I," she flushed a dark color and I smiled, already knowing the outcome, "sort of, crashed into him. Really, though, I saw a 
Lunarian butterfly and we all know how rare they are. I didn&rsquo;t see him. He was rude! I was about to apologize, but he just had 
to smile that cursed smug grin and comment about how clumsy I was. Then, after I berated him that it was his fault that he 
didn&rsquo;t know anything about the fact that we hardly see butterflies except when something special was about to happen and 
that he should have seen me. It is hard to not see me running in a *field*."  

I blinked. "And then?" 

She slumped into depression again, her mirth gone. "I don&rsquo;t know. I let my anger get the best of me and, when he called me that 
name he decided fit *perfectly*, I lashed out and began ranting that he was a fool and didn&rsquo;t deserve to be here, on the moon, 
nor be the Prince of Earth. I think I managed to touch a painful moment in his life, for he attacked verbally as well." She seemed on the 
brink of tears. "He said that I was too young to understand and too dense to be observant to see what was truly going on around me, 
that I lived in the fantasies I dream about. Endymion says he couldn&rsquo;t understand how *I* could be the heiress to the throne 
and pretend everything was fine with the worlds. He couldn&rsquo;t understand why you all protected me so, when I was a fool myself, 
and that you four just defend me because you *have* to. Then, he stalked off when I broke into tears, murmuring that I was too 
child-like." 

She collapsed into tears once more. I had stiffened in anger. <How dare he! That obnoxious man. He will pay. I will have to have a talk 
with him.> Nonetheless, I whispered soft things to her, telling her repeatedly that she was never too childlike for her rank or too dense. 
"You are who you are, Sere, and you can be no one else than Sere. Who cares what that Prince says? I certainly don&rsquo;t think you 
should. He doesn&rsquo;t know *you*, my friend, and he can&rsquo;t understand how special you are to all of us. Besides, for an 
educated lord, he certainly knows nothing of Lunarian nature!" I had her laughing again, though it was tense and softer than usual. 

She nodded. "True. But, when he said those things to me, they hurt! They hurt more than anything Mars ever said to me and I feel 
awful." 

"About what he said?"  

"No, about what I did. Venus, I don&rsquo;t think he&rsquo;s as cruel as I make him out to be; I think he&rsquo;s just lonely. Besides, 
it was my fault for hurting him first. He would never have had burst out like that if I hadn&rsquo;t hurt him first. I mean," she turned to 
look up into my eyes once more, "his Guardians, his Royal Guard, they seem so disposed to him as you all are to me. Not because he is 
their Prince, but because he is their friend. He can&rsquo;t be that bad, can he?" She sounded so innocent that I couldn&rsquo;t 
answer her. There were many people who were very shallow indeed and yet, no one could see past that illusion, either. 

"No, I suppose he can&rsquo;t." I tightened my grip around her. She placed her head on my shoulder, sighing happily. "Don&rsquo;t 
worry about what he said, Sere; they were all lies, anyway. What can he know?" 

She sighed softly. "I know." She whispered. We remained in that position a moment longer before I pulled away, satisfied that I had 
dispelled her fears and worries and helped her to her feet. She turned to me, her eyes wide and asked me, "Venus?" 

"Hmm?" I turned to her, curios. 

"You will always be here, right? I mean, as a friend and not as a protector. You will always defend me as a friend and not as a 
Princess?" Her lower lip quivered.  

"I will, Sere. I will always be here for you, whenever you need help. We all will." I answered immediately. My heart thudded a moment, 
and I was unsure whether the words that had poured from my lips were from my heart, or from my Duty. But, they were the same thing, 
right? 

"Promise?"  

"Promise." And she smiled a smile so bright and earnest, so happy that I would have given up my life then and there only to see her 
smile. 

I felt tears trickle down my cheeks in sadness, faltering a moment. <I&rsquo;m sorry, Princess, I&rsquo;m afraid I can&rsquo;t 
complete my promise. I&rsquo;m so sorry&hellip;> The others, though, they had their honor and would complete the promise for me. 
Not because it was my promise, but because it was a promise we all knew we would always give.  

I remember how beautiful and large her eyes were, how deep they seemed to me, and how they always shone with the love she could 
never control. The amount of blue highlighted the silver, it seemed, and it seemed that Selenity, goddess of the Moon, gave her a pair of 
stars for eyes, that twinkled with mirth, happiness and love. It was the sight she gave that I would never have. 

Her voice, so bubbly and cheerful, was like an angel&rsquo;s, and I knew she loved to sing loudly, and intensely about love, joy and 
peace. She always laughed, and always smiled, or found reason to smile. Whether it was because her heart never seemed to grow old, I 
don&rsquo;t know, or if she smiled because she wanted to see others smile as well. I believed them both with all my heart, the little 
there was. 

She was so beautiful that I was always afraid that I might break her, like some fragile doll or object. I had always thought she was so 
strong, and she was, but there were times when she seemed so fragile that the slightest breeze would shatter her. I always felt that no 
one deserved her beauty, her laughter, or her joy, and yet she gave them willingly and always did so without second thoughts. It had 
made me realize that she was never truly aware to the fact that she was indeed a *goddess*, and that made it all the more a wonder.  

It seemed I could never give enough for the gift the gods gave me in protecting her. 

I didn&rsquo;t have anything else to hold me here, not enough reason to make me jump now and end my pain.  

A snow white cat grinned at me in my field of vision before fading away. Artemis. 

He would be shattered, and yet there would be no reason to be. Luna, of course, would hold him together, but could I leave my best 
friend like this? How could I not trust him? I owed him as much as I did anyone else in an explanation. Possibly more, in fact.  

My feet tingled in a need to take a step away from the ledge. I held still, tightening my resolve.  

Artemis could survive, and without me as his burden and concern, he could pay attention to his duties as Royal Advisor with Luna all 
the more. Though he grumbled about it, it gave him a chance to be with Luna all the more. I wasn&rsquo;t so blind to see how they 
admired each other and how they were each deeply in love. Only love of the truest forms made my heart leap and sing the way it did 
when they simply smiled at each other, or when they danced during a ball. 

But that was Princess Venus, not Sailor Venus, who was a failure. The Venus Droplet was lost to me forever, and I could no longer 
access my powers as Goddess of Love and Beauty. It was hard being the only Princess to not be able to have as smooth and graceful 
abilities even in Princess state. Perhaps my goddess had chosen to protect me from its power, I do not know, but my powers as the 
goddess of love were hard to grasp and hold for long periods. Usually, my star seed lent its power and control to help me approach its 
power. I knew that, if Mercury ever found out how it was I could use my powers as long as I could, she would flay me alive and leave me 
for dead.  

I knew there was so much more Mercury had to offer, if only she would stop being so unsure of herself. 

But, I knew Uranus could handle it. I winced slightly, praying that the aggressive Senshi wouldn&rsquo;t badger her, forcing her to 
move beyond her limits. I would never forgive her if she did. Never, even if I were dead.  

Artemis could take care of himself, and I knew that he would never learn to care for me beyond the fraternal protection he seemed to 
have indulged in when he became my Guardian. I would never be able to tell him how sorry I was for keeping what I felt from him, 
about everything, being leader, being a warrior, or even being a Princess. I knew he would forgive me, but it was the kind of impulsive 
forgiveness based on who I was and not what I did. He would never forgive what I did, but could forgive who I was. 

Before me, hanging in mid air, were ghostly images of my friends, smiling and apparently laughing in one of the private Gardens of the 
Court, one filled with blossoming fountains. They looks so happy, even Mercury was smiling gently, setting down her book and 
giggling at the antics of my Princess. Even Luna and Artemis were there, each grinning sheepishly at them when Serenity whirled and 
began accusing them of spying.  

Then, I saw four figures I had not intended to see. 

The Princes of Earth, every one of them, save Kunzite, and each smiling at the girls. Mars seemed to fall enraged at Jadeite, berating at 
him for frightening them all and for spying on the Lunar Court without permission. He merely stood silent, grinning, until she leaped 
into his arms and kissed him.  

Jupiter just smiled lovingly at Nephrite, who embraced he slowly and they fell into their own world as they kissed. 

Zoisite was just staring at Mercury, who flushed a light color, the book falling from her grasp before she hastily knelt and hurried to 
grasp them again. Before she could, he picked them up for her and smiled as he touched her hand. She flushed slightly darker before 
nodding her thanks and smiling as he bowed and gently kissed her hand. He grinned at that. I remembered how he always seem so 
stubborn in seeing her smile, which she did so little. 

The Princess and Prince seemed to outshine everyone else as Serenity reached for his hand and murmured what I interpreted as 
&lsquo;I love you&rsquo;. He returned something which made her smile brightly and he leaned forward to kiss his soul mate.  

The whole group broke into a fit of laughter as both Guardians began ordering them to stop being so personal in public with their 
affections.  

I did not need the Venus Droplet to know that the area must have been filled with love. A glimmer of the future shown to me by Pluto? 
Or the image of the present, which was somehow an accident of my powers?  

It didn&rsquo;t matter; they were happy, and that was all that matters. 

"Goodbye." I whispered, closing my eyes and preparing to simply fall from where I stood. I would end it, here at the Sea of Serenity, in 
the kingdom I chose and was chosen to save and protect.  

After all, how much pain could one heart take? And, how long would I survive if I had no heart? 

Then, I heard it. 

Princess Serenity sighed happily, leaning against Endymion and closing her eyes a moment as the others fell into conversations, which 
she commented on every so often. Everything was perfect, save that nasty war that was beginning to boil on Earth. No matter. She knew 
her Prince would end it before it began and be in her arms forever. 

Then, she realized that the familiar hint of golden hair and shimmering blue eyes were not in presence, nor the last lord, her love.  

"Where&rsquo;s Venus?" She asked, her eyes opening and staring at each of the Senshi. The others turned to her, as if that idea never 
occurred. 

Mars gave her a strange look. "She said something about finishing some problems that had arisen since the last battle. Why? You think 
she&rsquo;s going to run off to the border?" 

Serenity glared at her. "How long ago? What problems? You didn&rsquo;t consult her? What if she went off to take of something 
nasty? Didn&rsquo;t that ever occur to you? Aren&rsquo;t you her best friend?!" The violet eyes flashed a moment and it was by pure 
will alone she kept herself from letting her anger show.  

"It isn&rsquo;t our place to ask her about everything she does or decides about her own life. I trust her to do what is right and she 
would never go into battle without telling us first, and I know she will have a good reason for being tardy." Mercury gave her liege a 
mild look. "You shouldn&rsquo;t mistrust the judgement of our leader, Princess." 

Serenity chose to ignore that comment. "It isn&rsquo;t that. I trust her, but, she seemed so sad these past few days, and it was just after 
that battle. I couldn&rsquo;t understand why. She had this blank look on her face and she stared at the Wink Chain Sword as if she 
had just realized she held it. I didn&rsquo;t understand; none of you were hurt and the skirmish was minor. I had meant to ask you 
about it, but I wanted to speak to her first." 

"That sounds serious," Jupiter mumbled softly, her green eyes shining with worry. 

Mars sighed softly. "You all take her for granted. She isn&rsquo;t as strong as she seems, you know. She is just as fragile as the element 
she represents. You&rsquo;d be surprised how insecure she is about everything. Sere, if you breathed wrong, she would find some way 
to blame herself," she admitted slowly. The others stared at her, silent. "I&rsquo;ve seen it, too, when she looks at us after battle and 
during fights. They darken to almost a midnight blue and there is no sparkle in them. Even I fell for her cheerful act, before I realized 
that it was all an act. At least, sometimes it was. Others, it is just when she is feeling sad but doesn&rsquo;t want us to worry so she 
fools us into thinking she was fine."  

Serenity pulled herself from Endymion&rsquo;s arms, aghast. How could she not have seen? 

"Where would she be now?" Zoisite asked after another moment. In truth, all of them had fallen for her act, and it seemed as if she was 
more a silly girl than the warrior she was. 

Mars motioned to the exit. "Where she always is when she sulks. Overlooking the Sea of Serenity."  

I gasped softly, a hand over my mouth. The others rose and left, presumably to come here and speak to me. Yet again, future or present? 
Was this how they came to find I was dead? Or was this happening now? 

Mars had seemed more distraught than she had dared allow be seen physically. I could see the way her eyes had sparkled in concern, 
her face pale and stiff. The concern was mirrored on the other Senshi as well, most of all, the Princess. I swallowed deeply. I 
hadn&rsquo;t known just how much they had cared for my welfare. Could I destroy that? 

I had to. For their sakes, I had to. 

Then, why did I feel so&hellip;heartless?  

I was so confused, not knowing whether to jump, a small step or two forward, or run back to the palace and too the safety and 
happiness I had with my friends. If I ended my pain, I caused it all the more, if I continued, I would forever betray my lieges and live in 
agony. There were so many reasons to die, and yet so many reasons appearing just now to live as well. 

No, I had to finish what I had set out to. I couldn&rsquo;t be so weak and such a coward to leave now at the moment of completing my 
oath. I realized all my reasoning was just a way to stall the outcome. I was hoping for someone to suspect what was happening and 
rush to save me, holding me safe and telling me what I had told myself were all lies.  

&lsquo;Always think things through&hellip;&rsquo; I had, dear Mercury, and I found only two choices, neither was suitable to make 
everyone happy. 

&lsquo;Complete things that only come from your heart&hellip;&rsquo; I want peace, don&rsquo;t I, Mars? How do I tell from heart 
and soul? 

&lsquo;Always strive to protect the innocent and the truth&hellip;&rsquo; I am! I was! I was protecting the truth of my soulless body 
from the world and saving you all from being tainted from my evil, Jupiter! 

The voices intensified and I clasped my hands over my ears, grimacing in discomfort, stepping back over the sword and compact. I was 
so confused.  

"Venus?" A deep, soft voice asked me, thick with concern. 

I gasped, whirling around, my hands leaving my ears and spotting Kunzite, who watched me intensely. I stumbled back, and tripped 
over my blade, falling back.  

Time seemed to slow. 

I saw the others rushing up from the side of the cliff face, and saw Serenity cry out as I fell backwards, tears already in her eyes. Artemis 
looked horrified, his eyes wide and Luna clutched to him as well, both human. I saw the Senshi begin to scramble to save me and I saw 
Kunzite. 

The dark gray eyes were darker now with fear and I realized how my heart twisted when I saw that. The pain in everyone&rsquo;s eyes 
was unbearable. Could I really do this? Wasn&rsquo;t this what I wanted? 

"Venus! Please?! You promised!" Sere cried out, somehow running past the others, nearly pushing them out of the way, surprising 
them. Her long, pearly white gown of the Lunar kingdom flew behind her, the long silvery tress waving in the wind, the strands long 
and silky. She was crying fiercely. 

For me? Or for my promise? 

"Serenity!" I shouted without thinking, my hands reaching to grasp the ledge. But I was too late; I was an inch too far. 

Tears streamed down my eyes as I realized that I was wrong; I couldn&rsquo;t do this to Serenity. I couldn&rsquo;t do this to a girl I 
loved so dearly that I would even give Kunzite up if it meant to save her in any way. Of course, I would sacrifice myself as well if I did 
this, but I would do it if it meant to save her.  

Serenity. 

I&rsquo;m sorry. 

And, suddenly, a hand closed over my own, warm and insistent. I looked up, tears in my eyes when I saw Kunzite. For a moment, I 
faltered, as he held my hand and I was still hanging a moment. Then, I gently grasped his own and my other arm reached up to grab it 
as well.  

"Venus," he whispered and I nodded quickly, shaking with fear and my realization. He pulled me up and I held onto him tightly, crying 
into his shoulder. I could hardly believe what I had done. What I had almost done.  

"I&rsquo;m sorry. I&rsquo;m so sorry." I repeated into his shoulder, shaking and crying at the same time. My heart ached and burned 
with my guilt and yet, somehow, blossomed in knowing that I was loved. His arms clasped around me and he just held me tightly, as if 
he never wanted me to leave. "I-It w-was a foolish thing, I know, but I-I had," I broke, unable to complete my excuse, for that was what 
it truly was. An excuse. There was no excuse for my behavior.  

"Shh, Venus, all is forgiven. Don&rsquo;t worry." He murmured into my hair. I didn&rsquo;t know if the others were simply rushing 
towards us or if they had simply frozen, but I hardly cared. I felt safe in his arms and I felt a whisper of true happiness, not feigned nor 
forced. Serenity gave me a reason to live and a reason for being; Kunzite gave me a reason to continue to care, and gave me the love I 
craved. Even still, I didn&rsquo;t deserve it, any of it.  

"No, all is *not* forgiven." I whispered hoarsely as my breathing calmed and I could find the will to speak. I bit my lip until it nearly 
bled from the intensity; I would *not* cry any more. "I&hellip;" 

He pulled away slightly and pressed a finger to my lips, shaking his head. "No worries, love. You *are* forgiven; we should have seen 
it earlier." 

"No!" I said sharply, trying to pull away, frantic. I wanted to run, anywhere, but the understanding I felt here. It was one thing to be 
hidden from everyone&rsquo;s view, but another to be suddenly pushed into the light and have everyone smile and agree with 
everything I did or said. He held me loosely, but tightly, still, unrelenting. His eyes had a hurt gleam to them. "I&rsquo;m horrible! 
Unforgivable for all eternity because of what I am! I am nothing, absolutely nothing." My voice dropped into a low whisper.  

"Venus." Serenity said, surprised and shocked at this display. I looked to the side and saw her, standing rigid and her mouth gaping 
slightly. "You&rsquo;re never *nothing*. Why didn&rsquo;t you tell me?"  

Emotions flooded me quickly: confused, love, Duty, shame, numb, shock, fear. I went rigid a moment as I lost control and the intensity of 
everything overtook me. I fainted. 

Later, I awoke and took one glance at everyone before bursting into tears and running out of the infirmary. I ran to the Gardens, 
ignoring their calls of protests and my name being shouted and echoing off the halls. I hurt, and I didn&rsquo;t want to face them. I 
had no wish to face them. 

I didn&rsquo;t deserve to be a Senshi; I had defaced myself in front of everyone, and lost my right to protect her. Golden ribbons 
surrounded me as I ran, making it seem as if my fuku was being shredded and stretched around me. I closed my eyes, feeling the rush of 
power. I heard footsteps behind me, and I didn&rsquo;t concentrate enough to listen whether the person following was a guard or 
perhaps the group as a whole. My hands instinctively grasped the silky material that flew back as I ran, even with my eyes closed and 
golden light surrounding me. When I felt my bare feet touching the floor, a chain around it, I knew my transformation was complete.  

And Princess Venus now dashed about the halls. 

I slowed a bit as I felt the grass beneath my feet, though soft, unsure where to go that the others couldn&rsquo;t follow me. When I 
heard the follower, I took a step forward to resume running.  

A hand enclosed my wrist, pulling me back. I yelped involuntarily, pulled back into a warm embrace.  

"Let me go!" I hissed, trying to twist free of his grip.  

"No, Venus." I stopped my struggling, only a moment to stare into the silvery eyes of Kunzite. He looked so sincere&hellip; <No,> I 
thought fiercely.  

"How *did* you find me? I didn&rsquo;t see you in the scene, and yet you were there before they were. How did you know?" 

"Don&rsquo;t you remember? You *told* me." I gave him a blank look. He sighed softly, still holding me. "The last time we spoke, 
remember?" 

"Something wrong?" I turned as I saw Kunzite wrap his around my waist. I smiled softly and leaned against him, sighing softly. 

"Nothing is wrong, love." I murmured. I pointed to Earth, drawing his attention from me to acknowledge the planet. "Your planet. It is 
so beautiful and I long to see it. The Princess has, many a time she has told me about the wonders she had seen. The others said that it 
was more beautiful than words could describe. Now, I wish I wasn&rsquo;t to bound to Duty and could have traveled with them to see 
it as well."  

"It *is* a beautiful planet, but you surpass it." 

I giggled softly, a blush creeping across my face. "None of that! You asked me what was wrong, and I tried to tell you, but you tried to 
switch the subject! Don&rsquo;t deny it either." 

He smiled, I&rsquo;m sure, and I wished I could see it. I twisted around in his grasp and looked up into his eyes. They twinkled in 
amusement. "You are the one who told me that you love romance. Is it wrong for me to try?" 

"It is wrong for you to go out of character, yes. It&rsquo;s foolish to do something just because I said I would like to see it happen to 
me." I said, smiling brightly. "Like this, for instance. I would love to see Earth, but that doesn&rsquo;t mean I will." 

Kunzite gave me a curios stare, as if analyzing me. "You would do all that for Duty?" 

"You would, as well," I countered softly. He remained silent. "Yes, I would. I would give everything for Duty, for Princess Serenity, for 
anyone." 

"But yourself," he stated with confidence, an odd, distant note in his voice. I nodded. He looked into my eyes a moment and I 
didn&rsquo;t understand why. "What else do you wish for? Truthfully, now, not what you think I want to hear." 

I blushed, returning wryly, "Why? Why do you ask?" 

"Do I need an excuse?" 

"Possibly," I said lightly, then shrugged. "No dreams beyond the fact that I will survive for my Duty. If I don&rsquo;t have any hopes or 
dreams, they can&rsquo;t be smashed, can they?" To my disgust, my voice had turned soft and frightened. He held me tighter, for 
reassurance, I suppose. 

"You have had your dreams destroyed before, love?" I nodded, not really wanting to say more. "What, then?" 

I turned wistful, forgetting myself and where I was. "Not really a physical destruction of my dream, just that, when I was born," here I 
averted my eyes, "my crystal drained from me and fell back from whence I came and was lost. The people still say that I should have 
died, right then, and even the planet Mercury is still trying to puzzle it out. When they discovered that I had a star seed still, one of a 
Senshi, they were even more confused as to where the other crystal had been formed. There were some readings on it before it 
disappeared into the sea, and they were confusing. Supposedly, it is much like the relationship between the Lunar Royalty and the 
Silver Crystal. Only, the Silver Crystal *is* the star seed of the family, so they naturally assumed that the crystal was mine. I searched 
for it the first years of my life, always watching the beach as if it would appear one day and allow me to understand why whatever it is 
happened. I never did find it, and I realized that I never would. All this time, I felt a part of me missing, as if I lost something very 
important but never knew what it was. 

"When I arrived here, my next dream was to visit Earth; I fell in love with it the first time I saw it from here and I always imagined what 
it would be like to set foot on it. As I haven&rsquo;t been able to escape my Duty, I gave up on that as well." I sighed softly. 
"I&rsquo;m sorry, my thoughts aren&rsquo;t very detailed. I don&rsquo;t usually think here." 

"Where do you, then?" 

I pointed to the horizon, at the cliffs and the Sea of Serenity. "That cliff ledge, there. It is a perfect place to watch my home and Earth at 
the same time, and the Palace. In fact, I am always there when I am alone and it helps me think when I am there." I looked into his eyes. 
"I feel alive there, as if the Venus Droplet were there, calling me and telling me exactly why it took itself from me and lost itself in the 
sea. It makes me forget who I am and just lets me be Venus, not Senshi nor Princess. I guess it just offers me peace; I can never find it 
anywhere else just with me, alone." 

"You aren&rsquo;t alone." He returned, leaning closer to me. I smiled, thanking him. When our lips touched, I don&rsquo;t think I felt 
anymore free than being in arms and knowing I was loved. 

My eyes widened. Did I really somehow hint that I was feeling lost? It seemed as if I did, now that I remembered how I spoke to him and 
admitted how I secretly felt. He watched me, analyzing my emotions a moment. I felt undeserving of his love and devotion a moment. 

"You are quick, I grant you that," I admitted after a moment of indecision, the silence beginning to cause me to shudder. "And, perhaps, 
you are more discreet than I had first thought. Perhaps more powerful. I wonder though, is it because you are aware of your powers or 
because you love me? I question everything now." 

Kunzite&rsquo;s eyes flashed in anger a moment before being calmly controlled. "I question why you would even think of jumping off 
that ledge. There has to be more." 

"And if there was?" 

"I would expect you to tell *someone*." 

I glared at him a moment, feeling myself once more. Perhaps it was just that the numbness had begun to spread over me. Then, I 
softened. "Those battles&hellip;I guess I had just put them all in the back of my mind for so long, and the stress kept building until, this 
last battle broke free all those worries. I hadn&rsquo;t really paid attention to their screams, cries, or even how they looked. Am I 
really that cold?" I whispered softly. 

"No, you aren&rsquo;t. Being numb to battles is usual. If you weren&rsquo;t, you wouldn&rsquo;t fight." I blinked, merely staring at 
my hands. "You shouldn&rsquo;t feel sorry for them; they attacked you first." 

"That doesn&rsquo;t mean it was right for me to kill them and not care." I sighed to myself, knowing the matter was closed. "And, I still 
feel bad about being the Leader when everyone else is so capable. I mean, I&rsquo;m not the most powerful, or oriented, and I would 
never be able to do anything without everyone else. I can&rsquo;t help but feel that I&rsquo;m Leader only because the Queen pities 
me. I compare myself to the others&hellip;" 

"That&rsquo;s what you shouldn&rsquo;t have done. They are who they are, just as you can be no one else but yourself. Besides, you 
are loyal, are you not?" I nodded anxiously. "Leaders must be loyal. You are capable of talking to foreign dignitaries without seeming 
to pry." I felt my cheeks burn in embarrassment. He smiled a moment. "And you have the quality of making sure that you don&rsquo;t 
order anyone to do anything and let people do their own judgment. Sounds like a Leader to me." 

I didn&rsquo;t look up. All these facts were making me feel worse for acting irrational before. I didn&rsquo;t want to see the truth I 
knew was there; I didn&rsquo;t want to accept who I was. I realized I was running from myself and not the truth, as I had thought. I 
was only protecting myself, and I could never have been more selfish than that moment when the idea came to mind as the only answer.  

Kunzite gently tilted my chin up to look at him. "You are a truly fragile soul, Venus, and I do not think that the Princess realizes, until 
now, that you would break if anything happened that seemed like it was in your control. But, in being fragile, it means your friends will 
never leave you. They will protect you. I love you far too much to ever think of leaving you." 

I quivered gently. "Are you angry at me? How can you be so forgiving to me, when you say you love me when I would have jumped into 
the sea and never have told you about it?" 

"Because I know that, for once, you were thinking of yourself before others. Besides, I don&rsquo;t expect you to tell me everything. 
You must have some things to yourself in your life." I stared into his eyes, wondering just how I managed to be forgiven and to have had 
all my doubts washed away. <I will live, Kunzite, as you say, but for my Princess only. Forgive me for never taking your feelings 
seriously. I will always protect my Princess, but I will always love you.> 

Instead, I smiled and said, "It never ceases to amaze me how much I love you, love. Or how lucky I am. Thank you." 

"It goes both ways." We kissed and I sighed when he pulled away, allowing the tension to leave me. "Besides, the Queen has given us 
permission to see Earth. Before the war, that is. I don&rsquo;t know how your Princess Serenity managed to do it, but she has." 

I sighed. "I&rsquo;m to be left behind again? You know I cannot go, Kunzite. I have to stay here and watch over the defenses." 

"No, she insists that you have been deserving this wish since you became Leader." I could hardly believe it, and I gaped at him in 
shock. To Earth? With all my friends and no Duty on the Moon. "Well?" 

I could hardly contain my glee. I threw my arms around him and embraced him tightly, nearly bouncing in joy. "Thank you!" I shouted 
happily. 

"Venus, I couldn&rsquo;t think of a better way to die, but I&rsquo;d really rather live." I pulled away, tears in my eyes in my 
happiness. I wasn&rsquo;t alone, as I had thought at first, and I knew that I would survive only if I gave my love willingly and knew 
that my friends were around. 

"Sorry," I said sheepishly, but it was with a wide grin.