what's going on in my head??

August 7, 2002
Well, this is from about a week ago when I returned home after 3 ten day sessions of working as a faculty advisor for the National Youth Leadership Forum on Medicine. I had a lot of fun, but I think by the time I did that third session I was getting steeped in NYLF stuff. I don't actually remember much of the dream...just that I was taking 3 classes at some school I didn't recognize, where the textbooks for all those classes were my NYLF Journal on Medicine and NYLF Handbook (when I woke up that in itself was disturbing enough). The rest of my dream, I was running around from class to class, constantly late....for some reason I had to ride my bike (i have a bike??) around the edges of this Colosseum-type stadium and then ride a tube shaped elevator down to the basement to get to one of my classes. That classroom happened to look like my high school choir room...go figure.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Dreamt about driving the family minivan, trying to get out of this hilly parking structure. For some reason it was indoors, but all the surfaces were snowy, and I kept sliding around. Selvi, Matt, and Kenzie, and some random person I don't know was in the car, and they were all eating food. At one point, I was driving the minivan down some stairs...Oh yeah, before that, I dreamt that I had come home from a Christmas party, and while I was sleeping (there was an IBook next to me) some people in suits came in to take stuff from our house. My mom had seen them but was feeling tired so she just let them take the stuff--I don't even know what they were taking, they were just taking these departmentstore type shopping bags full of stuff from our house, and being mean about it. I got out of bed and suddenly I was out on our driveway, for some reason suddenly I was waving a gun a the people who were just about to get into a car full of our stuff and drive away. One of them pointed a gun back at me....and actually I'm not sure what happened after that. At some point I got to the part with the minivan driving down stairs but I don't remember how I got there....

Thursday, May 13, 2004
Last night, I needed surgery on my shoulder (which I think came from doing a qbank question about a shoulder injury =p), and it was scheduled for about 6 pm. I was lying on my stomach, and these nurses were preparing me for surgery with betadine all over my right arm. And then I was given some sort of anesthesia to put me to sleep but it just never took effect. I spent most of my dream trying to fall asleep, and when I finally couldn't, I was wheeling myself around, exploring the hospital, which had a big room with a lab table (black) type area, really dusty. I was leaning over a bunch of syringes at one point, and one of the nurses was telling the others that they were out of one size or another. I was chatting with one of them, 'how long have you been working as a nurse?' and she tells me not quite 10 years. "what did you do before that?" and she tell me something about cakes, I think, and raising her boys at home. Anyway, now it's practically midnight. My family by now, I figure, had forgotten about me and gone home, so I make my way back to the front of the hospital to get on the elevator. The security guy tells me the one I wanted to take would skip the 8th floor, and go straight to the top, so you can take this other one. I do, and there's another person in there. And I'm toting a huge table into the elevator with me. Maybe it's the one I was lying on.... cuz suddenly I'm walking around. I get to where I'm going, and run into someone who tells me yeah, your doctor (who apparently was someone Korean) went to dinner with your parents to Mikado a long time ago. What??? Here I am all betadined up and it's midnight, I'm anxious because I'd been anxious about being cut open in the first place, but now also because my parents deserted me, and I've missed out on 6 hours of studying and even in my dream I had that surge of disappointment where I want to cry and scream...that feeling only happens when something unexpected and outside my realm of control happens. But I don't scream, I wake up. And I feel like I haven't slept at all--I mean, I feel rested, but I'm still thinking I was awake for the last 6 hours. confusing.

Friday, May 14, 2004
I'm outside walking around by this railing when Mike Lee (NU), who, in real life, I don't really know too well, calls my cell phone and through a bunch of static, asks if I want to go bowling? Bowling? Um...ok, sure, why not? So I tell him I'd just meet up with him and his friends whereever they are going, which happens to be Springfield Mall. I have no idea where Springfield Mall is (even in my dream) but I say OK and hang up. So at some point I meet up with a bunch of people (like Derrick, Charlie, Alain, few others) who are all just about to head off somewhere in this convertible. I hold everyone back asking Charlie how to get to Springfield Mall and he explains, but I promptly forget. Since they are all in hurry I let them go, telling Charlie I'd get going and call him when I get lost. So now I'm driving down a long darkened street (which come to think of it, looked not unlike Jefferson Ave. in Naperville) and I'm shuffling things around in my car, looking for my cell phone, not really looking where I'm going. At one point while I'm doing that I see a car pass me to my right and I realize I'm driving up the wrong side of the road...And I guess maybe I called Charlie and figured out where I was going, since the next thing I remember is being in this huge huge building with lots of floors. I'm getting on an elevator and I mean to get off somewhere, but I miss my floor and get off a few floors above on accident. To get back down, I pass through this rich looking area with tan marble floors to a giant escalator, HUGE, like the ones you sometimes see in subway stations, and I get on. The escalator is all weird because the handle/rubber railing thing keeps detaching from the side and bubbling up and reshifting, so that the section I'm holding onto ends up 3 stairs in front of me. All the while I'm feeling like I'm gonna fall off. I get to a blue carpeted landing mid-way, where there are these war protestors picketing, and stop to call up Mike to tell him I'm almost there, just trying to figure out where in this mall to go. Suddenly I'm looking at a newspaper, and it says that Charlie's in the hospital in a coma! So I call up Serena, who I figure is at the hospital, to find out what happened and when I do, I just happen to 'know' that I'm talking with Serena from the future, 24 hours ahead, since Charlie isn't gonna end up in this coma until that night. Of course I take the fact that I'm talking with future-Serena very much in stride, and upset, she tells me he got sick some hours before and kept getting sicker over the day, and now he's not waking up. umm....at this point I look down and I notice I'm wearing these green scrubs and those ugly dansko clogs I bought the other week...and then I don't know. Isn't it sad when there is more to tell about your sleeping life than your awake life?