They call me Queen of the World. I'm starting to believe it.

There are days I lose myself in their praise and blind myself to their wrongs. I forget that they were Oz...they were responsible for my father's death. No, that's not quite right, I should say the man I thought was my father. He was, in every way but biologically; hence my current situation. I grew up privileged, content with who I was and my position in life. Yet in these past months I have gone from diplomat's daughter to princess to prisoner to queen, all too fast for me to fully comprehend it. Is it any wonder I've lost track of who I am? People pull me in all directions at all times, telling me how to dress and act, what to say and whom to say it to. It's not so different from school, I suppose. Everyone wanted a piece of me then, too. I was the richest girl at the Academy. I never asked for popularity, but it found me easily. Through it all I knew who my true friends were, though. I wish I had such certainty now.

There are times I long for the innocence I once had and never appreciated until it was gone. All I have now is a constant dread of the future and what it may hold for me, for the planet I love, for my brother...Gods, it's strange to call him that! I spent much of the last ten years believing I was an only child. To find out that not only did I have a brother but that he was my enemy shook my beliefs more than anything before or since. Well, almost anything before.... Just saying his name sends chills down my spine and raises hairs on my neck, all at once. The coldness in his eyes when he first made his threat...I believe he would have killed me in those early days, had Oz not come to kill me. Common enemies create odd alliances and ours, though tenuous, served some unfathomable purpose.
A pity we are now enemies.

I saw him in the balcony as I gave my speech today. It was not a trick of the light, of that I am sure. His eyes were the same, cold and dark as the steel in his hand. I can't say with certainty that the click I heard was a round slipping into the chamber, but I can't imagine what else it could have been. I glanced away for a moment; when I looked back he was gone, as I knew he would be. His only other option was something I'd rather not ponder.
Yet ponder it I must. If Heero and I are enemies, then there is a great chance I have compromised my ideals for my life and become that which I so despise...and I am unwilling to accept that. So I will play their game for now, and when they least expect it I will show them what it truly means to be a Peacecraft. I'll prove, once and for all, that I am Queen of the World Nation, not a puppet for them to control.

I pray I live that long.

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