All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or copied in any form by all means. Sailor Moon is a product of Bandai, Toei, and Naoko Takeuchi. All the other character and this story is property of Lady Jupiter and Co. To reproduce any part of this story requires strict permission from her and her only. All other standard fanfic disclaimers apply. Flames, comments, questions and other things go to Lady Jupiter at Ladyjupiter@sailorjupiter.com Please put the fanfic name as the subject if you do actually mail me. I'm already confused as it is, you don't need to drive me even more off the cliff okay? This is a whole different series than my other ones. If you read Jupiter Knight and Past Lives, you'll see some tie-in and same character basis. Yes, I know, all my fics are somehow connected to each other. Well, that way, I won't go out of my mind trying to recall which fic was which. Thanks to Lord Talon (heeehee! The mighty Lord Talon) for giving me the idea, even though you don't know it yet. Self Control By Lady Jupiter You could hear a pin drop. No one knew what to say. Ken didn't know what to say. Ken's mind asked him. He answered himself. "Kennie, stop kidding around. We know it's not you," Lita looked at him with her emerald green eyes. Eyes that where pleading, "Please tell me it's not ture." "Lita, it's me. I'm the one Greg has been having visions about. I'm the one who is going to harm you." The words were burning in Ken's mouth as they left. He couldn't beleive what he was saying. "Stop lying, why would you do that?" Lita asked, forcing a smile on her face. She hoped that he was just kidding. "Lita, get it through your head. It IS me." Ken said sternly. He stood up and looked down at her. Every muscle in his body wanted to go down, take her in his arms and guarantee her that it wasn't him. His mind shouted out at him. "Kennie...." Lita pleaded. Ken couldn't stand it anymore. Another second in this room with her and he'll lose that self control. Ken walked swiftly out of her apartment and slammed the door behind him. "Ken!" Lita shouted. She wanted to get up and run after him, but her knees remained rubber. She burried her face in her hand and put her elbows on her knees. Lita tried to convince herself. A hand came on her shoulder, trying to comfort her. Lita looked up. Serena was sitting beside her, looking at her. Everyone was staring at her. "It's not Ken. I know it can't be Ken. I don't know why he did that, but it's not him." Lita said to them. The others looked at her, their faces expressionless. Greg felt ashamed at what he did. Why did he go and tell them might be Ken? Was he right? "Lita, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry he ran off like that, but just think hard. Could it be him? Did you two have a fight before or something?" Greg asked softly. "NO! It's not Ken. I'm telling you that. You guys have to beleive me. Ken's not like that. I've known him my whole life." Lita insisted. "But could-" Luna started. "There is no could or would in this. It can't be Ken, period!" Lita finished. Rei got up, "C'mon. Come to the temple. I'll do a fire reading and we'll see what we come up with okay? Maybe Greg was wrong. Maybe it's not Ken after all." Rei tried to say cheerfully. "Yeah, let's go to Rei's temple first." Serena agreed. "Greg, do you want to come?" Ami asked. "Maybe you'll get some new visions there." "Okay," Greg got up. Lita got up slowly, not sure if her feet still worked. She followed the others out of her apartment and locked her door. She was oblivious of her surroundings. She just followed the pair of shoes infront of her. Rei tried to think why Ken would have a sudden outburst like that. Maybe he was... her mind told her. Rei didn't want to believe that Ken was going to turn on her friends. She thought Ken was nice, he was thoughtful and perfect for Lita. Lita would just light up anytime she saw him. If Ken ever turned against Lita, Rei thought, then she would just die. They reached Cherry Hill Temple in an hour's walk and checked around to see if there were other people around. "Grampa went to the temple on Mount Fuji to study new meditation techniques. I think Chad is still training with the martial artist at the next temple." Rei said, so it was safe to do some scouting there. She unrolled the straw mats and sat around the higher step where the fire was going to be. Everyone sat still and looked earnestly at Rei, who was starting to pump fresh oxygen toward the fire, feeding it logs. Greg had never seen this before and was interested at how the fire would give Rei visions. Rei wasn't a psychic like he was, but she could see some answers because of the Great Fire. Greg wondered if it would give her another answer than what he had. If his answer was wrong, then why would Ken admit that he wanted to harm Lita? This was all too much for him. He actually was glad that he didn't have to call this his normal everyday routine. "Everyone, sit still and be quiet. I'm starting." Rei instructed. She was now changed into her temple clothes and sat crosslegged infront of the roaring fire. Ami knew that whenever Rei was in this meditation mood, everything had to be absolute quiet or it would not work. Rei felt the fire roar into her. She felt it calming her. "Great fire," she whispered, "Please tell me who this mysterious man is in Greg's dream. Please tell me anything about this mysterious man. Anything that can relate to this masked murderer." Rei could see the fire behind her eyelids as she closed her eyes. It took her years to finally master the art of fire reading. To be able to see what the fire was telling you was an art, not a talent. Rei could see the flames of the fire swaying this way and that, adding to the pattern of smoke swirling around it. The flames started to take form. First, it became a shape. Judgeing from the build, definetly male. "Please, tell show me more." Rei chanted softly. The fire released some details and the man took on more form. Bit by bit, it became clear who this man was. Rei didn't want to admit it herself, but it was him. Ami saw Rei snap her head back, then open her eyes. A thin sweat furrowed her brows. Rei's face was flushed and red. "I saw who it was," Rei said slowly. "Who?" Serena asked eagerly. Darien had a sinking feeling of what the answer might be. He kind of figured that Rei would get the same answer as Greg. "Sorry, Lita. I didn't want this to be like it is, but the fire told me. It IS Ken." Rei said, "I'm real sorry. I wish it was another answer." Lita looked at all of them. Lita thought. She didn't care what they thought anymore. She stopped caring what anybody thought a long time ago. She had taught herself that it didn't matter what everyone thought about her, as long as what she thought about herself was set at a higher standard. Lita asked herself, almost smiling at the thought. "Lita? Are you okay?" Serena wemt amd sat beside Lita. "Don't worry. Whatever it is, I'm sure we can help Ken with it." Serena tried to assure her. Lita looked at her. "Ken doesn't have a problem. I don't really care what you guys think right now about him, but I KNOW that it is not Ken. He would never ever do anything to purposely hurt me. I thought you guys would understand that." "But what if he turned evil by another force or something?" Ami tried to ask. "No, Ken is too strong willed to do that." Lita turned to Darien, "Would you ever turn against Serena?" "No," Darien answered. "See what I mean?" Lita asked, hoping they would understand. "But remember when Beryl turned Darien against us? Maybe that's what happened to Ken?" Mina pointed out. "No, I told you already. Ken is too strong willed to fall for that. I'm not calling you weak-minded, Darien. But Ken is Ken, he has a lot of will power. Way too much for that to happen, trust me." Lita tried to convince them. "But-" Luna tried to say something, but she had nothing against Ken. Neither did Artemis. Suddenly, Chad barged in. The two cats both tried to hide the sweat drops on their heads. "Chad! Don't you ever knock?" Rei yelled. Chad sat by the mat and frowned. "I didn't know anyone was in here." "How long have you been here, Chad?" Ami asked, hoping that he wan't evesdropping. "I just got here and was just going to relax." Chad said. "I don't know what you guys are going to do, but I'm going to go home, eat something and go to sleep." Lita said and got up, "Chad, you can take my seat. Bye everyone." "Wait! Lita, do you want one of us to go with you or something? Incase something happens?" Serena asked. "No, I can make it home by myself, thank you very much." Lita said. "Are you sure? I mean, what if-" Greg asked. "No! I'm going home alone. Don't worry, there's still some light out. If anything happens, I'll call you okay? I doubt anything will happen, though." Lita said and walked out the door. "Lita, wait up. I'll walk you, my house is on the way." Mina said and ran up to catch up with her. For a while the two walked in silence. Mina didn't know what to say to her. "Do you really think it can be Ken trying to hurt me?" Lita asked. Mina didn't know how to answer her. She didn't want Lita to be mad at her, but she kind of did think it was Ken. Why would he admit to it himself it it weren't true? "Don't worry, I'm not mad at you for what you beleive. You're entitled to your own opinion." Lita assured her. "I think it might be Ken. Sorry Lita, but why would he admit it if it weren't true? And why did Greg say it had something to do with him? Why did Rei say it was related to him? It's the only logical explanation to all this." Mina asked, sounding almost like a lawyer. "Maybe it's just a mass hallucination. Remember a while ago, one person saw a youma and suddenly, everyone said they saw youma's walking down the street?" Lita defended Ken, even if he wouldn't defend himself. "I don't think so. I mean, Greg doesn't even know Ken that well. And I don't think Greg is the kind of person that would make things up." "I still don't think it's him. One day, I'll figure this out, and find dout why Ken said what he did." Lita sighed. They came to Lita's house in another half hour since they were now walking in a much quicker rate. "I can spend the night if you want me to, incase something happens." Mina added. "No, I can take care of myself. Thanks for walking me, thought. I'll call you if anything happens, okay?" Lita asked. She just felt like being alone tonight to sort things out. "Are you sure?" "Positive. I'm a big girl, I think I can manage not to get kidnapped." Lita insisted. "But this isn't some ordinary kidnapper." Mina said in a hushed tone, "It might be Ken!" "It's not, so don't worry." Lita said. "Go home, it's getting late. You're parents might worry or something." "Okay, bye Lita." "Goodnight," Lita unlocked her door and went in the house. She looked into the fridge to see if there was anything edible in there. She was too wiped out to cook, so she just go a frozen TV dinner and stuck it in the oven. While the dinner was "baking" Lita took a shower and put on her pajama's. Luckily, there was no homework that night, so she could go to sleep early. Since the last night, SOMEONE called too early in the morning. Lita could smell the dinner when it was almost done cooking. She went into the kitchen and brought the tray out of the over and set it on the counter to cool. A shadow leaped onto her window sill. "Luna!" Lita gasped. She almost jumped out of her socks. "Sorry, did I scare you?" Luna hoped into the kitchen. "You bet! Don't you ever do that again or you'll turn into dogfood okay?" Lita threatened. "I wanted to check up on you. Mind if I spend the night? I don't take much room." Luna said. "I guess. If I say no, you'll probaby spy by the window anyway, huh?" Lita asked. "Me, ofcourse not. I don't stoop that low. That's Artemis's job." Luna said, trying to get rid of the sweat drops forming on her head. "Yeah, sure." Lita said, not believing what Luna told her. She started to eat her dinner, then asked Luna, "Did you eat yet?" "No," Luna said, "But I don't really have an appetite. Don't worry, I'll go and find food when I feel like it." Lita went to the fridge and brought out some fish from last night. There was still half a fish left on the plate. "Here, you can do me a favor and finish the fish." Lita set the plate down infront of Luna. "Thanks," Luna said and started on the fish. "What do you think?" Lita asked when she was done with her dinner. "It's pretty good fish." Luna said and licked her mouth for any remaining fish. "Thanks, but I didn't mean that. What do you think about Ken, about the visions?" Lita asked. "Darien was once turned against us by the Negaverse, so maybe that is what is going to happen to Ken." Luna said. "So why did he admit it?" "Why indeed." Luna repeated, "I have no answer for this. Just be careful until we get this thing solved." "I still don't think it's Ken. It has to be someone else." Lita mumbled. Lita went into the closet and fetched a large box. She found some towels and a small pillow and put them in the box. Then, she picked Luna up and put her in the box. "It's not much, but this will have to do, okay?" Lita said to Luna. "It's fine. At least now I won't have to sleep fearing that Serena might roll over me or something." Luna kidded. Lita carried the box and set it on her dresser. She got into bed herself and crawled under the blankets. She took one last look around the room before turning off the lights. In the morning, Lita was the first to wake. Luna was still sleeping soundly when she came out from the bathroom. Lita was happy it was a Saturday. That gave her a chance to go talk to Ken. She was going to call him at first, but decided against it. Phones were too impersonal. Leaving a note for Luna by her bed, Lita walked out of the house. She didn't want to wake Luna, thinking that Luna might want to stop her from going. Since everyone but Lita thought Ken was turning bad or something, Lita decided not to tell anyone where she was going. Ken's house was across town and Lita had to ride the bus to get to it. It was about a fifteen minute ride to Ken's house. When Lita got there, the family car was still there, which meant they weren't going anywhere yet. Lita rang the doorbell and waited for an answer. Someone unlocked the door and opened it. "Good morning, Mrs. Miyake," Lita said politely, "I'm sorry, did I wake you?" "No, not at all, Lita. How are you?" Mrs Miyake asked. "Fine, how about you and Mr Miyake?" Lita asked. "The usual. You just missed Ken. He sped off somewhere early in the morning. Wasn't he going to your house?" Mrs Miyake asked. "No, I don't think so." Lita said quietly, "Thanks anyway. I'll find him myself. Bye!" "Oh, Lita. If you find him, tell him that we're leaving for the ballet at eleven and if he's not back by then, we're leaving without him." Mrs Miyake said. "Ok, I will." Lita walked off their porch and toward the park. That was the only place she thought Ken would be. He was too much like her. Whenever she needed thinking, she would also go to the park. Lita stopped by the nearest park. She knew this neighborhood pretty well since she use to live here herself. She knew there was a large park about ten minutes walk from here. As she walked by the neighborhood, she remembered when she lived there. She remembered some of the neighbors who still lived there. She remembered each mailbox at each corner. The park came into view. It was still pretty early, and not a lot of people were there yet. Lita liked this park the best, because there was not a lot of noise pollution to interupt your thinking. Lita walked down the trail, looking for any sign of Ken. She saw faint tire marks on the dirt and followed them. Ken's mother had told her he went on his motorcycle. Lita caught sight of him by the lake, skipping stones. One of the stones skipped at least five times before sinking. Ken didn't see Lita yet, and continued skipping stones. Lita saw his motorcycle and decided to wait for him there, let him think out some things first. She waited patiently and silently, watching him skip stones. He looked too innocent to be bad right now, so she was having a hard time believing what the others did. Luna woke up, still thinking she was in Serena's room. She hopped out of the box and directly jumped on Lita's bed. First, she was jumbled at why Serena had gotten up. Then she remembered she was in Lita's apartment. Lita had gotten up early. Luna saw a note on Lita's pillow. She got closer to it and read it: Luna, I'm going to Ken's house. Don't know when I'm going to be back. Don't worry about me. There's some food on the table. Love, Lita "Oh no, she's going to Ken's house." Luna said to herself. What if Ken attacked her then or something? "I'd better go look for her. No, I'll call Artemis. He's better at sneaking around." Luna ran out the window toward Mina's house. If she was lucky, he was up already. Mina had left her window open, which was good for Luna. She jumped in and looked around for Artemis. Mina was still sleeping on her bed, but Artemis was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, something hard fell straight on Luna. "Oww!" Luna yelled, then shut her mouth. "Luna? What are you doing here?" The surprised Artemis asked. "Where did you come from?" Luna asked. It's like he fell out from thin air. "I jumped through the window when I saw you come. I thought you were a burglar or something." Artemis admitted. "Why would a burglar come out at plain daylight?!" Luna asked. "Sorry! You just scared me, that's all." Artemis said. "Come on, we have no time to waste." Luna told Artemis to follow her. "Where are we going?" Artemis asked. "Lita went over to Ken's house. We have to keep an eye on them. In case, you know..." Luna said. "Okay. Do you know where Ken lives?" Artemis asked. Luna started to sweat, "Uhh, no. I thought you would." "You're lucky I do," Artemis said and leaped out of the window. "Hey, wait up." Luna tried to catch up to Artemis. Ken stopped skipping stones. Saturday would be a boring day today. Usually, he went out with Lita at this time, but now he knew he shouldn't. He was afraid to get close to her. What if he WAS going to flip out and try to kill her? No, it would be better to stay away from her for the time being. He couldn't risk Lita's life. Ken thought to himself. He walked in the direction of his motorcycle with his head down and staring at his shoes. Yes, today would be a pointless Saturday. No way he could see Lita, it would be too risky. What if he cracked like in Greg's vision and started hurting her? Ken scolded himself. He was hurting the both of them this way. Ken looked up at where his motorcycle stood and almost had a heart attack. He didn't expect to see Lita there, staring at him. How long has she been waiting there? Ken asked himself. Lita watched Ken's reaction. First, there was a face of surprise, then it looked like he was thinking to himself. Finally, Ken looked at her again. His expression blank. "Hi Kennie," Lita tried to say cheerfully. She didn't know whether she should ask him about yesterday or not. She didn't want him to run off like he did again, but she wanted an answer to why he did what he did. "Hi Lita," Ken tried to sound non-chalant about it. "Whatcha doing?" Lita asked. "Nothing," Ken snapped. "Oh," Lita didn't know why he was being so grumpy, "You want to go for a walk? It's such a beautiful day." "No," Ken picked up his helmet. The expression on Lita's face was so heartbreaking. She looked so sad and vulnerable. He didn't want her to think that he was abandoning her just like her ex-boyfriends, he would never do that. But he had to do this, for her own good. He hoped she would understand. "Do you want to go to the movies?" Lita tried another option. "No, Lita. I don't. I'm kind of busy." Ken lied. He wasn't. "Oh, I understand. You're parents said if you're not back by ten, they're leaving for the ballet without you," she checked her watch, "You better go." "I will," Ken said and put his helmet on. Lita put a hand on his arm, looking up to his eyes, which were clouded with shadows. "Ken, what's wrong? Why are you acting like this?" Every inch in Ken's body wanted to hug her, to kiss her and tell her it's alright, that he'll always love her. But he resisted temptation. Ken pulled down the visor of his helmet, so his face would be hidden in the tinted glass. Ken got onto his motorcycle and looked at Lita. "Careful, Lita. I advise you stay away from me. I'm bad, I'm evil. I might kill you." Ken choked out those words, that left his mouth so bitter it hurt. "I know you're lying," Lita said. "Bye, Lita." Ken wheeled his motorcycle a safe distance away from her and sped off. Leaving only a cloud of dust behind him. "Ken Miyake, I know you are lying. I'm not giving up on you. You can bet that." Lita said determined. She was determined to find out why Ken was saying all these things that were not true. "Do you see anything?" Luna whispered to Artemis. "No, it's empty." Artemis whispred back. He was perched on the window ledge of Ken's second story bedroom. It looked like everyone was out of the house. "See anything suspicious?" Luna asked again. "No, everything looks fine." Artemis said. "He must be out. We didn't see his motorcycle in the garage, did we?" Luna said. "The whole family is out." Artemis told her. "Then where is Lita?" Luna asked. Ken snuck up behind Luna, who was sitting on the brick wall. "See anything interesting, yet?" he whispered. He knew what they were doing. They were going to spy on him and Lita just incase something happened. "No, looks like Ken's out." Luna answered, thinking it was Artemis. "Who are you talking to, Luna?" Artemis asked, still looking in the window. "Artemis?!" Luna shouted. Who had asked her that then? She slowly turned and faced Ken, who was frowning at them. "Ken!" Artemis jumped down beside Luna. Both cat's were caught in the act. They had huge sweat drops on their heads and hung their heads in shame. "What are you two doing here?!" Ken demanded, even though he knew perfectly well that they were spying on them. "Oh, uhh....we ummm...just...." Artemis stuttered. "-we just stopped by. It was on the way.....to..... to....." Luna continued. "The fish market!" Artemis came up with an excuse. "Oh? Are you sure you're not spying at my bedroom?" Ken asked. "Well...um...ofcourse not. We just wanted to see if you were in! Why would we want to spy on you?" Artemis asked, laughing nervously. "Gee, maybe to see Lita locked in my closet, perhaps?" Ken provided. He knew it was not true, but he had to make them stay away. If they were here, then Lita would come, then who knew what would happen. "Ofcourse not....we're going now. Bye, Ken!" Luna and Artemis flew off the wall and ran down the street. Ken wheeled his motorcycle around to the garage and locked in inside. He looked over his shoulder, expecting to find Luna and Artemis hiding behind the bushes or something. But there was no one. He went in the house and changed his clothes. He changed into a polo shirt and a pair of slacks. Today, he would be all alone. His parents would be at the ballet for maybe two hours, then his parents would probably go visit some friends. Ken decided to go to the shopping center to buy his mom a present for the upcoming birthday in a week. Ken wheeled his motorcycle out again and was on his way. Lita walked absently around the shopping center. She had to find a present for Mrs Miyake, Ken's mother. She remembered that Ken's mother's birthday is coming up in bout a week. She didn't know what to get her. Last year, Lita go her a set of pot holders. The year before, an apron. Lita thought. This year, she wanted to give something unique. If she had been paying more attention to where she was walking, maybe she would have avoided this walking collision. Lita walked right into someone and fell on her butt. "Sorry, I should have watched where I was going." Lita mumbled an apology and got up. she thought. She looked up to see who she ran into. "Ken?! What are you doing here?" Ken scolded himself. It was hard enough staying away from her, but now, he was running into her everywhere he went. He was surprised he didn't see her in the men's room. "I'm shopping for my mom's present." Ken mumbled and started to walk away. Lita grabbed Ken's arm and attached herself to him. Lita thought. "I'll go with you. I'm shopping for the same thing. What do you think she wants?" "Lita," Ken pushed her off his arm. How could he say nicely that he wanted to be alone? There was probably no way he could say it that wouldn't hurt her feelings. "I need to shop alone." Ken thought miserably. He could at least think of a decent excuse, instead of that lame one. "Why? We can chip in and buy her a much nicer present together." Lita said. "I wan't to buy her one myself," Ken answered. "Well, help me pick one out for her then. I'll let you chose her present by herself." Lita said. "No, Lita!" Ken said, exasperated. Here he was, trying to keep her out of danger from himself,(if he was the one who was actually going to hurt her), and she was practically painting a target on herself. "Kennie, why?" Lita asked. Ken couldn't look at her. The face she had on was so sad, tearing his soul apart. "Because..." Ken said. He couldn't find a reason. He started to walk away, leaving Lita to stare after him. "Ken, you can't say you don't love my anymore. Because I know you still do." Lita said after him. Ken turned around, his eyes pained. Lita didn't know what was giving him so much emotional pain. "I still love you," he mouthed to her, then turned around and walked swiftly down the hall. Luckily, there was a bench behind Lita. She sank down to it, aware of the people staring at her. She didn't care. She didn't cry. Invisible strength. That's what her mother told her. Invisible strength. Never show them you're hurt. Never show them your weaknesses. Never show them in vain, your abilites. Lita reminded herself. Lita put on a smile and got up. She wasn't going to let this ruin her day. She was going to shop and have fun. Lita thought. She located the nearest payphone, but noticed she had no change to make the call with. "Why didn't I think of this before?" Lita reached into her pocket and found her communicator. She could call Mina on that, for free! Lita went into the bathroom, where in private, she could call Mina without anyone suspecting a thing. "Mina? Mina?" Lita asked into the communicator. Mina's face blinked on screen. "Lita, are you in trouble? I'll call the others." "No, wait. There's no trouble." Lita said. "Oh, is there another meeting?" "No. I'm at the WestSide Shopping center. I was wondering if you would want to meet me here. You know, just hang for a while. I need to buy a few things too. Maybe you could help me choose." Lita said. Mina never refused an offer to shop, and agreed to meet Lita infront of the Food Place. Ken was sitting on a bench in the Food Place, and saw Lita walk past him. Ken immediatly got a newspaper and hid behind it, hoping she wouldn't see him. Lita didn't even notice him and walked right past. Ken put down the paper and looked after her. He saw her stand just infront of the door, and wait for someone. Fifteen minutes later, Ken saw Lita walk past again, but this time with Mina. He was glad that Lita called Mina. Now, she didn't have to walk around the shopping center alone. He sighed and got up. It was about time he got that present for his mother. But, his heart wasn't into it. He couldn't stop replaying Lita's face, all the emotion in her face. He could hear every single word she said clearly. "Ken, you can't say you don't love me anymore, because I know you still do." ******************************************************************** That's all I have time for. Stay with me for the next chapter, it's a doosy! (Dang, where did that word come from?) You know who to mail and where to mail comments and stuff.