Vignette By Joshua Trujillo 2.3 His mind screams at me. I can do little except sit there and listen. The screams come like a whisper on the wind. He tells me what he wants me to do and what can I do but respond. He is a demon. I knew that when I let him in to my body. It is a force of will that keeps the little bastard down, that keeps him from traveling up my arm toward my heart or my brain. And yet, he is already there, pushing at my will, pushing at my sense of self. He enjoys playing in my memories and much of the time, I am lost in a miasma of my own making. Memories flash across my eyes as I relive each one in exquisite detail, every feeling, every hope, every joy...Every pain... Yuuuuuuuuiiiiiiiii... Yes. And Yui too. Every love. I cannot hide what I feel from him because he is me, to some extent. He feels my love as I felt it. Feel it. He knows of Shinji. He knows that Shinji has killed Angels. Every time there is a battle, every image that flashes on the large holographic screen across from the Command Center brings a whimper of pain from him. I smirk slightly, my mouth covered by my gloves. I took up this position during the talks with the JSDF. They bored me. Now, it serves me well enough to hide my mouth from those on the bridge. And from the old man. My mouth gives me away. My pain shows there. I smile when happy. I frown when disgusted or sad. I can keep my eyes still and my voice steady, but my mouth gives me away every time. Many of those that see it do not realize what they see and they misinterpret me. Only the old man knows what I mean. There is no battle today. But there are tests. Something to do with the Magi, I do not know, nor do I wish to. The Magi just need to work. The Second Child whines. It grates at my nerves. It grates at his nerves too. We frown. The tests are over. We will have some time before the next Angel arrives. Fuyutski looks to me and I nod. I rise from my seat and exit through the elevator at the back of the tower. Nananananaoko... She is gone. Images of dead people flash in my mind at this. I must concentrate to push the right button. See through the images of the men and women who have died on my watch. The people I've personally killed...The elevator bings slightly in acknowledgment of my request. If only humans were so compliant. Ah, but some humans are... Riiiiiiiiiiiitsuko! I smirk. Free of the constraints of worrying who sees me, I smile further. Yes. Dr. Akagi is *quite* compliant to my...demands...The little bastard begins to purr in excitement and I take a deep breath and think about baseball. There is much to be done before I get to her. He understands and calms. Since he and I are symbiotic, I must control my urges in all regards, lest he surface and take over. Food, lust, feelings of heat and cold, all of these things from a human perspective thrill him to no end. It is one of the reasons I dally with Dr. Akagi. The heightened emotions and hormones involved in orgasm send him into an almost catatonic shock. He seizes and doesn't invade my thoughts for close to six hours afterward. It is this time that I am most capable of functioning and I make the most of it, though I do not want Akagi to suspect, so I must be slightly irregular in my dalliance. The way down is a long one and there is much that occupies my mind, not the least of which is my son. He is a complex boy and that is good. The complexity will help him with what will come- ...Shinji... Adam does not like the boy. I smirk. He doesn't need to like Shinji; he just has to accept him when the time comes. Adam growls slightly. My smile fades. No one knows and I dare not tell them, but...I love my son. I honestly do. There is just so much for which he needs to be strong, and for that, I cannot help him. It is my own shame and there is no one short of Yui with which I could talk. I find myself wondering sometimes what would happen if Yui had not gone and the same answer keeps repeating itself in my head. We would be an abominable family. What a disgusting family...There is Yui standing at the sink, myself reading the paper, Shinji studying his homework...And then we go to work and do whatever it takes to unite all humanity. I never wanted Third Impact. I never wanted to be connected to everyone else, to have someone be able to look at my naked soul. Only Yui is allowed that...But to be with her again? I would allow that. I would destroy the world to have her again. SEELE, Fuyutski, Akagi, the government and Kaji, all of them can go to Hell for all I care for them. Yui? Yes. Only Yui matters... Shinji? No. For Yui, even Shinji can go to Hell... The doors open and I walk to the large green doors not far in front of me. There are only a few select people in the world that know what lies beyond. And some of those that knew are dead. There is no malice behind what happened to them; honestly, some of them could have lived. They just ended up being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Of course, being anywhere near Second Impact would be the wrong place at the wrong time. It was also someplace that I was not. Yui was pregnant with Shinji, after all...I couldn't be away from them...I smirk again as I slide my card through the reader. The little green light came on and the doors slid open. The little bastard hums as she comes into sight. She who was and is. There is no one else down here except those that must go on. I give in to Adam's urges and raise my arms in a wide V of acceptance. I can feel him pulling both of us toward her. It is quite dangerous for me to be here, but with danger comes knowledge and that is something I must have. I know that she pulls at the restraints we have in place. Those won't hold her for much longer. They don't need to hold her for much longer. I can tell that the last Angel attack my son repelled effected her growth, but more so than I thought. I will have to think on it more. I am not the scientist that Yui was. Is. I lower my arms and smile at her, up there on the cross. I know she smiles back, though I cannot see her face. I know her face. My suspicions confirmed, I leave Terminal Dogma. The clock in the elevator tells me that more time has elapsed than I thought. Indeed, a whole night has passed. The rapture between the two must have caught me once again. I sigh. I wish I had not gone, for I am hungry now. I head for the cafeteria. One of the bridge crew, Hyuuga Makoto passes me on his way to the Magi. Yes, Akagi said something about further tests for the Magi tomorrow. Today. I hate it when I get trapped in the hum. I lose all sense of time. There is a turkey sandwich. I like turkey. And they added extra mayonnaise. Extra mayo is good. I finish and make my way up to my office. I walk across the floor as lightening filters slightly down from above. Yes, there were many thunderstorms in the forecast, though I had thought that they were supposed- Riiiiiiiitsuukoooooooo... Perhaps...I raise my eyebrow...Yes. I think it's a good time. I pull out a drawer in the desk before I sit down. There is a phone in there and I dial an extension. "Akagi," she says from the other end. "Are you available?" "...Yes," she is hesitant. "Good." I hang up the phone and take a deep breath. No need to arouse the little bastard before he's needed. Just as he feeds from me and the emotions coursing through me, I feed pheromones, adrenaline and other such things that he feels are necessary to keep the experience going. It almost makes me sorry that Yui can't experience what he gives me...It's quite a rush on both ends...Another elevator takes me to the office level. It is late morning, but in order to quiet him down, I think that one orgasm wouldn't hurt. The hallway is dark when the elevator opens. I almost step out. ??? "Is it not odd?" I ask of him, "Doors opening and closing?" ???...Riiiiiiiiiiiiiitsu- "Shut up." The door to her office opened before me and she pouts for me. Her lower lip trembles slightly in anticipation and she roughly pulls at my jacket, kissing at my neck. I know what she wants me to do. I favor her with a smile as she pushes me to my knees. I cannot stand her. But not for long. ...It is the one concession that Adam gives me. Instead of the disgusting faux-brunette who moans as I lick her, Adam takes my vision and twists it with memory. And there is my Yui. Yuuuuuuuuuiiiiiyuiyuiyuiyuiyui! Now, as I climb onto the table, I can enjoy it. She moans, her tight, young, graduate student body underneath me. She looks at me and I want to weep with joy. I can still fool myself sometimes. As I finish, I lay at her shoulder, panting at the nape of her neck, Adam dissolves the memory and I am left with stinking life once more. I get off and begin to put my things back together. I notice the clock on the wall. More hours wasted. But not really wasted as this will allow me several hours, Adam-free. Akagi still writhes on the table, panting from multiple orgasms. I need to say nothing to her. If she doesn't know her place, then who am I to tell it to her? I continue to stuff my shirt back in as I head for the door. It opens and I step out. Something strikes me and I turn back to her. I give her a slight smile. No reason to alienate the help, after all... Noise down the hall alerts me that I am not alone out here. Ah, but what can he do with what he is not sure of? Nothing. I venture back to the elevator and sigh as I get on again. It seems that my time spent in the Geofront consists of going up and down various elevators. At least today...The doors open and I almost step out. Major Katsuragi is there and she almost stepped in. I look down at her and she steps aside. There was a woman so like Yui. Tough, intelligent, erotic. Too bad she is an alcoholic. Really, too bad. At least Shinji seems to like her. As I pass the cafeteria, Hyuuga Makoto is back at his table, watching some awful reruns. Let him have his fun. Let him be what he wants while he can. He doesn't notice me as I fetch another sandwich. He probably thinks I am another member of the crew or some such. That is fine. I smile to myself and step quietly to the back of the cafeteria and each my sandwich in peace. There is a paper near and I enfold myself in its ink. Nothing new though, there hardly ever is. And when there is, it's because we're the ones that make it. There's a knock on the wall near the door and I lower my paper slightly. It is Katsuragi again. "Ritsuko's about ready for you," she says, an absent eye on the tv. "Oh," Makoto slurps his ramen and tosses it in the garbage, "Thanks Major." He scurries out and she soon follows. I refold the paper and set it down on the table. It is about time for me to get back to work as well. A slow time is nice sometimes, however. I exit the cafeteria and, as I walk down the hall toward my office, the elevator at the far end opened. "Commander." "Rei," I say, then, a thought occurs, "Are you on your way to Terminal Dogma?" She nods slightly. "I will accompany you." She nods again and makes room for me on the elevator. I have already been down there once today-No. It was yesterday. I must check my planner and make sure I did not miss anything. Rei is quiet today. She normally speaks of her schoolwork, or her thoughts about her piloting, or even sometimes her thoughts on other things. Today, she is quiet. She also has a strange expression on her face. If I did not know better, I would call it romantic distraction. She undresses as I make the preparations ready for her immersion. She finishes as I take some readings on the clones. Once in the tank, she turns away from me and nods slightly to them. They mimic her and she smiles slightly in return. She turns back to me, but continues to smile. I return her happiness. Even without the mask, I know that face.