Love

Love is a weird, twisted thing that I know next to nothing about. It defies any attempt at definition. Once you think you have love figured out, you realize that you don't know anything. Love takes sudden turns that don't seem to make any sense, not even years later. Love can make us feel better than any thrill, any drug, or any thing else. Love can also hurt us more deeply than anything else. In the Disney classic, The Sword in the Stone, Merlin states that he believes that love is the greatest power in the world. We must never think that love is safe - it is anything but safe. The Song of Songs describes love as a consuming fire that cannot be put out, and the beloved begs the daughters of Israel three times not to awaken love before it's time. Love is not safe, but love is good. Love is good and right and … holy. Love is not safe, but love is good. Love is a weird, twisted thing - at least from my perspective - that I know next to nothing about. And God is love...

Though it may be a bit obvious, my first love would have to be Jesus. Honestly, I haven't really experienced "falling in love" … I've been far too cautious, and far to stupid! I love my friends, and I love my family, and I also love Pizza Hut pepperoni pan pizza, Dr. Pepper, the outdoors, and wolves. I could write about any of these, but I honestly want to write about Jesus. I have known Him ever since I can remember, and as I grow older, I learn more and more about Him, and realize that I love him less than I thought, and that He loves me more than I thought possible. His love is overwhelming. I would like to share, in the next few lines, an image that I have of Jesus, that shows His love for me and my limited, selfish, human love for Him.

It all started at some worship service long forgotten when we were singing the old song that goes,

"Blessing, honor, glory to the lamb. Holy, righteous, worthy is the lamb.
Death could not hold Him down, for He is risen!
seated upon the throne, He is the lamb of God!"

As I listened I began to picture what I was describing in song. I saw a Lamb, sitting (more like laying, like when you tell your dog to lay down) on a golden throne. The Lamb had horrible, bloody gashes in His side and neck. The Lamb just looked at me, with deep, black eyes. His expression was impossible to read; it said too much. He looked powerful, though He didn't even fill up the throne He was laying in, He was so small. He looked noble and wise, but had short, curly fur all over Himself. He looked lovely, and I could tell He loved me. I would like to stress now that this was not a vision as such, rather I was just imagining it. I was filled with a mix of many different feelings - to run, to bow, to crumble to pieces, to throw my arms around the Lamb, to shrink away and die …

This experience was awesome, and I still picture the same thing when singing this particular song, but more was added to the image later. One day, I was sitting in my room looking at one of my many wolf posters. This particular one has a wolf standing in the woods, staring at the camera with a calm, strong look. While looking at the picture, I noticed something I hadn't seen before - there was a reddish brown stain on the wolf's muzzle. I thought about it for a minuet, and I figured that the wolf must have killed and eaten something. Now I can't remember if it was at that moment or later that I put the song together with the picture, and identified myself with the wolf. You see, you and I are both carnivorous - we must eat the flesh of others to survive. We hunt and kill and pretend to love, if it will help us find meat. That is the whole of our existence. We feed on and kill the weaker - the sheep. But God, in His ridiculous love, sent us His Son. Jesus came as a gentle Lamb, and gave His life to us. We are the ones who inflicted the wounds on Jesus. We killed Him. And, even more ridiculous than God letting Himself be killed by us, He turns around and lets us have life by feeding on Him. He gave us His blood and His flesh, and by these we have eternal life. We will never be hungry or thirsty again. We can end the cycle of killing and feeding, and instead share the love that we have found. We become sheep, for other wolves to slaughter, so that they too can live. Our muzzles become stained with the blood of the One we killed, and it is this very stain that saves us from the punishment for killing.

"Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man, and drink his blood, you have no life in you." (John 6:53, NIV)

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