(1-97) When I was young I often heard of ma ma Chang or ma ma Lin became a vegetarian and a Buddhist. I was too young to realize that it often meant their marriage was down the drain. While they hung on to their empty marriage, they mentally acknowledge the fact that all is nil.

However, the common Zen phrase "all is nil, and nil is all" is not as pessimistic as it sounds. I am convinced that Zen is a discipline and training of the mind. To perceive that all is nil is only the beginning. To completely understand Zen, you would also have to perceive that nil is all.

When passion is gone and emotion ground to zero by daily routines, imagine that you can train your mind to rediscover the emotions. The trouble is when most people perceive "nil," they think that is the truth, and cannot go back from nil to all. Truth in this case is what a Buddhist would call the knowledge of barrier.

It is unfortunate that most people cannot get the gist of Zen. For the few who do, all they can do is accept and go their own way. Especially in the case of marriage, it takes two to entangle. Often, the one who finds Zen has to go his/her own way. The tragedy is not Zen, the tragedy is not knowing Zen.