The Donner Party

Original Version:
[2:01]
Thanks for the Ether
Date of first release: 8/6/96
The similarities and situation between the Donner Party and the Colonial Pilgrims is both appalling,
frightening, and incomplete. In both cases, you'll find one: a fairly large group of ill-prepared
greenhorns pitting themselves against nature and each other; two: an insufficient willingness to
endure the very real hardships of frontiering, and three: coincidental misfortune at every turn. 

Disasters of both camps were initially brought about by departure, delay, desert, inertia; which
caused our heroes to begin their journeys at absolutely retarded times weather- wise. If fantasy is the
refuge of a frightened man, and a castle in the air is a safe harbor for a foolish few, just imagine
living in a hut buried twelve feet below the snow, with the sight and smell of the scattered carcasses of
loved ones at your feet; it is the lay of the land, just another day. I would like to propose that
cannibalism was indeed rampant among America's earliest settlers: The Pilgrims. For what does
settler imply, if not the willingness to settle? To settle for a meal of human flesh if my thoughts on
the subject are to be believed. In conclusion, spread the word of this. Look to the night sky, and hark
back to our forefathers' shortcomings, (and your own), as you cut your meat and lay the groundwork
for a new tomorrow.

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