In order to smooth the process of planning meals for a family that has recently had a baby or suffered a loss, or in which someone is recovering from surgery, these voluntary guidelines are proposed. They have been drafted with the spirit of the mitzvah of bikur cholim (or menachem avel) in mind.

Three individuals or groups are recognized in this process: the person who coordinates the meals (the coordinator); the primary contact among the recipient family (the recipient); and the cook for any given meal (the cook).

The recipient should designate only one coordinator, unless the duties or time periods of multiple coordinators are explicitly understood between recipient and coordinators.

The coordinator should procure the following information from the recipient:

1. If meals would be useful for two weeks, or only one week, or any necessary length of time;
2. Any dietary restrictions, allergies, or negative preferences (in this regard, the recipient should be as specific as possible with regard to milchig vs. fleishig meals, salads, and especially the eating preferences of children);
3. If additional relatives will be in town staying with the recipient family for some of the days in question;
4. Some guidance on appropriate portion size;
5. If dessert (though not required) will be appreciated or will likely remain uneaten;
6. What time the family usually eats;
7. A list of potential cooks to ask for their time and effort.

The coordinator should inform the recipient that, unless otherwise requested, it will be assumed that wine and challah do not need to be provided for shabbos, and that se`uda shlishit will not be covered (although during EDT this should be reconsidered).

The coordinator should

1. Ask for volunteer cooks only from among those the recipient has listed; if others call to volunteer, the coordinator should be noncommittal until confirming that person with the recipient;
2. Pass along all relevant information to the cooks, who might then ask the coordinator to provide more information;
3. Ask two (or more) cooks to prepare for each shabbos meal (i.e., dinner and lunch); those cooks should contact each other to divide their efforts appropriately;
4. Let the recipient know the complete schedule of who is cooking for which dates;

5. Consider calling cooks to remind them of their day.

The cook should

1. Make contact with the recipient no later than 5 pm on the day the meal is to be eaten, in order to let them know when the meal will arrive (ideally, the meal should be delivered as early as is practical so that the recipient has maximum flexibility on when to eat);
2. If desired, call the coordinator or recipient to find out what the previous meals have been, in order to ensure some variety;
3. Make sure that any information that has passed directly between cook and recipient is also shared with the coordinator, if it may be relevant to another cook;
4. Consider preparing small amounts of perishable foods, such as salads, that do not freeze well;
5. Favor disposable containers whenever possible. Nondisposable containers should be limited to those the cook can do without for an indefinite period of time, and should be explicitly labeled in two ways: the name of the cook’s family (to ensure return), and, where ambiguous, "pareve," "milchig," or "fleishig."

During the course of the cooking period, the recipient should inform the coordinator—for the purpose of passing along to the cooks if the recipient chooses not to call them directly—of the following information:

1. If significant, who among the regular family members will not be home for a given meal;
2. If and when the family will be out of town;
3. If the family has sufficient leftovers and would like to spare the cooks’ efforts for any length of time (with at least twenty-four hour’s notice);
4. If the family has sufficient leftovers of a particular type (e.g., salad, dessert) and would like the cook not to include such items in the upcoming meal (again, with appropriate notice given).

Please keep in mind that the purpose of all these efforts is for a mitzvah, and that it is the job of the coordinator and the cooks to see to it that the recipient derives the desired benefit from the meals.