This page hosted by BACKGROUND MUSIC NOT YOUR SCENE? YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO TURN IT OFF RIGHT HERE! (It's a generation-gap thing! TOY BOYS FOREVER by Jane Fraser WHEN exactly are the best days of our lives? Parents such as I have been known to bang on witlessly at our children about the joys of school, but this isn't even funny anymore, let alone true. Everyone knows what a horror stretch school days are, especially for parents. Universities, once breeding grounds of insurrection and, well, breeding grounds, are much too much about hard work and job preparation to provide a pleasant hiatus before the travails of full-scale maturity, and marriage has increasingly become a battleground upon which each partner fiercely fights for the end goal - a serious slice of real estate and you can-keep-the-children. But each one of us has an age back upon which we look with deep nostalgia and a soupcon of sticky sentimentailty. Women are far more realistic In this regard, mainly because they tend to look forward rather than back and also because they mostly didn't play rugby or do any of those Jock things. Men always look back to the olden, golden days when they were king of the scrum, caught forever in the aspic of time, wallowing in wintergreen and sowing their wild oats. Soon, of course, we will be able to choose which will be our glory days and stick with these days forever. Scientists predict that children who are now under the age of 10 will be immortal. It will be possible to genetically put paid to troublesome diseases such as cancer and a throbless heart and, most importantly, the ageing gene will be removed. The only possible reasons for death before 300 or even 5007 will be in the traditional playboy manner of wrapping your car around a tree. What's more, this future generation will be able to decide the age at which this genetic machinery should grind to a halt - or, in other words, what age they would like to be for the rest of their ilves. Without appearing to rub it in too much, we have recently been canvassing forty, fifty and sixtysomethings of our acquaintance who sadly someday must die; if you could choose how old you would like to be for the rest of your life, we ask, when would you arrest your age? The men wistfully and unhesitatingly answer: 25. And the women, also without giving it a second thought, nod firmly and say: 40. This, then, will be the next ageism crisis, nay, the end of the world as we know it. In approximately 15 years, human beings will start eddying down the behavioural sink. At this sad point, the world will be awash with mIllions and trillions of perpetually virile men, filled with youthful brio and baga of testosterone - which will be their jolly lot until the end of time. This chosen and relentless priapism may be of passing interest to women while they are the same age or younger but, given that the females of the gender will then pole-vault over the young men and go on to their chosen year, 15 years thereafter, at the age of 40, they will have completely lost interest In callow youth. Henceforth the only place these men-boys are going to find themselves is beside themselves, weeping for their wasted youth. The world, fulfilling the doomsday prophesy, will indeed end not with a bang but a whimper. Published in The Australian Weekend Review, April 24th., 1999. Want to see last weeks's `Generation Gap'? (Mothers of boys will LOVE it!!) Back To The Table Of Contents Back To The Magazine Reactions, Comments and suggestions to: robink@mail.austasia.net
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BACKGROUND MUSIC NOT YOUR SCENE? YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO TURN IT OFF RIGHT HERE! (It's a generation-gap thing!
TOY BOYS FOREVER by Jane Fraser WHEN exactly are the best days of our lives? Parents such as I have been known to bang on witlessly at our children about the joys of school, but this isn't even funny anymore, let alone true. Everyone knows what a horror stretch school days are, especially for parents. Universities, once breeding grounds of insurrection and, well, breeding grounds, are much too much about hard work and job preparation to provide a pleasant hiatus before the travails of full-scale maturity, and marriage has increasingly become a battleground upon which each partner fiercely fights for the end goal - a serious slice of real estate and you can-keep-the-children. But each one of us has an age back upon which we look with deep nostalgia and a soupcon of sticky sentimentailty. Women are far more realistic In this regard, mainly because they tend to look forward rather than back and also because they mostly didn't play rugby or do any of those Jock things. Men always look back to the olden, golden days when they were king of the scrum, caught forever in the aspic of time, wallowing in wintergreen and sowing their wild oats. Soon, of course, we will be able to choose which will be our glory days and stick with these days forever. Scientists predict that children who are now under the age of 10 will be immortal. It will be possible to genetically put paid to troublesome diseases such as cancer and a throbless heart and, most importantly, the ageing gene will be removed. The only possible reasons for death before 300 or even 5007 will be in the traditional playboy manner of wrapping your car around a tree. What's more, this future generation will be able to decide the age at which this genetic machinery should grind to a halt - or, in other words, what age they would like to be for the rest of their ilves. Without appearing to rub it in too much, we have recently been canvassing forty, fifty and sixtysomethings of our acquaintance who sadly someday must die; if you could choose how old you would like to be for the rest of your life, we ask, when would you arrest your age? The men wistfully and unhesitatingly answer: 25. And the women, also without giving it a second thought, nod firmly and say: 40. This, then, will be the next ageism crisis, nay, the end of the world as we know it. In approximately 15 years, human beings will start eddying down the behavioural sink. At this sad point, the world will be awash with mIllions and trillions of perpetually virile men, filled with youthful brio and baga of testosterone - which will be their jolly lot until the end of time. This chosen and relentless priapism may be of passing interest to women while they are the same age or younger but, given that the females of the gender will then pole-vault over the young men and go on to their chosen year, 15 years thereafter, at the age of 40, they will have completely lost interest In callow youth. Henceforth the only place these men-boys are going to find themselves is beside themselves, weeping for their wasted youth. The world, fulfilling the doomsday prophesy, will indeed end not with a bang but a whimper. Published in The Australian Weekend Review, April 24th., 1999. Want to see last weeks's `Generation Gap'? (Mothers of boys will LOVE it!!) Back To The Table Of Contents Back To The Magazine Reactions, Comments and suggestions to: robink@mail.austasia.net
But each one of us has an age back upon which we look with deep nostalgia and a soupcon of sticky sentimentailty. Women are far more realistic In this regard, mainly because they tend to look forward rather than back and also because they mostly didn't play rugby or do any of those Jock things. Men always look back to the olden, golden days when they were king of the scrum, caught forever in the aspic of time, wallowing in wintergreen and sowing their wild oats.
Soon, of course, we will be able to choose which will be our glory days and stick with these days forever. Scientists predict that children who are now under the age of 10 will be immortal. It will be possible to genetically put paid to troublesome diseases such as cancer and a throbless heart and, most importantly, the ageing gene will be removed. The only possible reasons for death before 300 or even 5007 will be in the traditional playboy manner of wrapping your car around a tree. What's more, this future generation will be able to decide the age at which this genetic machinery should grind to a halt - or, in other words, what age they would like to be for the rest of their ilves. Without appearing to rub it in too much, we have recently been canvassing forty, fifty and sixtysomethings of our acquaintance who sadly someday must die; if you could choose how old you would like to be for the rest of your life, we ask, when would you arrest your age? The men wistfully and unhesitatingly answer: 25. And the women, also without giving it a second thought, nod firmly and say: 40. This, then, will be the next ageism crisis, nay, the end of the world as we know it. In approximately 15 years, human beings will start eddying down the behavioural sink. At this sad point, the world will be awash with mIllions and trillions of perpetually virile men, filled with youthful brio and baga of testosterone - which will be their jolly lot until the end of time. This chosen and relentless priapism may be of passing interest to women while they are the same age or younger but, given that the females of the gender will then pole-vault over the young men and go on to their chosen year, 15 years thereafter, at the age of 40, they will have completely lost interest In callow youth. Henceforth the only place these men-boys are going to find themselves is beside themselves, weeping for their wasted youth. The world, fulfilling the doomsday prophesy, will indeed end not with a bang but a whimper.
Without appearing to rub it in too much, we have recently been canvassing forty, fifty and sixtysomethings of our acquaintance who sadly someday must die; if you could choose how old you would like to be for the rest of your life, we ask, when would you arrest your age? The men wistfully and unhesitatingly answer: 25. And the women, also without giving it a second thought, nod firmly and say: 40. This, then, will be the next ageism crisis, nay, the end of the world as we know it. In approximately 15 years, human beings will start eddying down the behavioural sink. At this sad point, the world will be awash with mIllions and trillions of perpetually virile men, filled with youthful brio and baga of testosterone - which will be their jolly lot until the end of time. This chosen and relentless priapism may be of passing interest to women while they are the same age or younger but, given that the females of the gender will then pole-vault over the young men and go on to their chosen year, 15 years thereafter, at the age of 40, they will have completely lost interest In callow youth. Henceforth the only place these men-boys are going to find themselves is beside themselves, weeping for their wasted youth. The world, fulfilling the doomsday prophesy, will indeed end not with a bang but a whimper.
This, then, will be the next ageism crisis, nay, the end of the world as we know it. In approximately 15 years, human beings will start eddying down the behavioural sink. At this sad point, the world will be awash with mIllions and trillions of perpetually virile men, filled with youthful brio and baga of testosterone - which will be their jolly lot until the end of time. This chosen and relentless priapism may be of passing interest to women while they are the same age or younger but, given that the females of the gender will then pole-vault over the young men and go on to their chosen year, 15 years thereafter, at the age of 40, they will have completely lost interest In callow youth. Henceforth the only place these men-boys are going to find themselves is beside themselves, weeping for their wasted youth.
The world, fulfilling the doomsday prophesy, will indeed end not with a bang but a whimper.
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Reactions, Comments and suggestions to: robink@mail.austasia.net