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AN old bloke is listening to a religious broadcast on the radio. The preacher says that if listeners place one hand on the radio and the other on a body part that is ailing, he will pray for healing. The old bloke puts one hand on the radio and the other on his penis. His wife pipes up, saying: "Honey, he said he was going to heal the sick, not raise the dead."
We are comfortable with the idea that older people don't (or can't) have sex. The notion that our parents might enjoy vigorous lovemaking may feel awkward, but the idea of our grandparents getting hot and sweaty between the sheets can be downright embarrassing. We would much rather see our grannies and grandpas bowling or bridging than bonking.
 We live in a society that worships at the altar of youth. Portrayals of sex in the media rarely employ grey-haired lovers with dentures, hiatus hernias and hearing aids. Or wrinkles, stiff hips and bad backs. The message is loud and clear. Sex is an aerobic activity restricted to the young. Older people need not apply.
We are faced today with a growing aged population and, like it or not, (if we are lucky) one day we will join them. We handle our fears about our own ageing and mortality by adopting a "them and us" mentality, discriminating against and segregating older people. While other cultures venerate their mature citizens, we cruelly stereotype our elders as useless, toothless, hairless and sexless. Yet humans are sexual from the cradle to the grave and there is a 16year-old inside all of us that defies the passing of the decades.
The older we get, the more judgmental society becomes about our sexuality
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A woman dresses for success: high heels, designer outfit, volumes of glossy hair and fingernails long enough to do brain surgery. At 25 she's a babe; at 65 she's mutton dressed up as lamb.
A couple canoodle on a rug in the park. If they are teenagers, passers-by sigh with nostalgia at the romantic sight; if they are 70, they ought to know better at their age. This vintage Romeo and Juliet are not victims of hardening of the arteries, but hardening of the oughteries.
In a hospital ward a young bikie in traction with a broken leg looks down a nurse's cleavage. Isn't he a naughty boy? In the next bed, the 80-year-old man who fractured his hip getting out of the bath does the same thing. He's a geriatric sex maniac who needs sedation.
The behaviour is the same - the only difference is the age.
Certainly sexual function changes with age. Older men's erections are less rigid and need more time and stimulation to occur. Women experience reduced lubrication and slowed arousal. For both sexes, orgasm becomes less intense and more elusive. Many older people take these changes as a sign that it's time to give up sex. Rather, it's a time to make adjustments, not only in activities but also in attitudes.
For example, ageing often results in changes to the digestive system, such as indigestion or altered bowel habits. We accommodate these changes - we take antacids, we alter our diets - we don't give up eating. Older people may no longer be able to hang from the chandeliers during sex, but most of them have the good sense not to want to. These normal changes in sexual functioning don't mean no go; they mean go slow.
Research has shown that 54 per cent of men and women aged 60 to 93 are sexually active. This is not to say that they are having regular intercourse. Non-penetrative lovemaking, outercourse, becomes more significant in old age. If you can no longer use intercourse for sexual pleasure, use your Imagination.
There is a drop In sexual activity as men and women reach the mid 70s. This is not due to lack of interest but to the impact of illness, medication and loss of partners. Alex Comfort, author of The Joy of Sex, said that older people give up sex for the same reasons they give up riding a bicycle - because they are not fit enough, they think It looks silly or they simply don't have a bicycle. Many older folk, especially women, would love to be sexually active, but they simply don't have a bicycle.
Ostensibly we no longer tolerate prejudice - we discourage sexism, racism and religious bigotry - but most of us practise ageism, even against ourselves. What is old? Isn't old anyone who's 10 years older than you are? Age is subjective. One woman in her 80s who enjoys an active sex life with her 65-year-old toy boy tells me age Isn't a consideration. "He insists that I'm not old," she grins. "He says I'm ripe."
Rosie King IN The Age , December 11th., 1997
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