September 4, 1997
I anticipated and dreaded this day with the same sort of feeling you have when you know you have a doctor or dentist appointment you would like to avoid but at the same time you want to just make it thru and get it over with. Yesterday my lawyer phoned me to say Gary insisted he had paid for all of the calls he charged to my phone bill and I would need some sort of proof that I was actually the one who paid the bills and not him. She also said since there was now a problem in finalizing the divorce I would now be needed in court. My stomach dropped to my feet when she then informed me Gary's lawyer now expected him to be there as well. I rushed home after work to try to find check stubs and bank statements to show I had paid the bills. Now, I have no problem in admitting I am not a record keeper! I pay the bill, I shred the statement and next month I repeat the process. My Mom is always telling me I should keep statements and cancelled checks for at least 6 months. I believe her now! She and my father wanted to come to court with me. I told her I needed to go alone to show Gary I have matured, that I am not a scared little girl anymore who can be intimidated by him and I can stand on my own. I am glad I made this choice because I felt great after it was all over. I managed to find 3 of the 5 checks I needed and 1 bank statement, which was actually a duplication of one of the checks. I hoped I could get the remaining 2 statements faxed to me before trial the next day. I called my bank as soon as they opened and I did manage to get one of the statements. Unfortunately the other statement I needed was from last year and there was only a slim chance I would get it in time for trial so I decided to skip it and hope I had proof enough with the statement and checks I had. I am thankful the court date was set for 9am. From the moment I found out Gary would be at the trial my stomach and ulcer started acting up. I was nauseous and I got very little sleep due to by ulcer burning away in my stomach. I don't think I could have made through having to wait until afternoon to go to court. The actual court appearance was rather uneventful. BIG sigh! My lawyer presented my proof to Gary's lawyer, who in turn presented a bank statement saying I had not made payments on my jeep for January and February of this year. I couldn't figure out where or how this statement came to be until this afternoon when I remembered Gary had told me HE would make the payments until we got things settled. Good thing I started paying again in March or I would be carless by now! I wanted to be compensated for the phone calls Gary had made and I had paid for but in the end I knew it was a losing battle. To continue the case into court I would have had to pay approximately $1000 more to my lawyer. Since I would be recovering around $300 I could easily see I would be LOSING money in trying to get compensation. The final decree is that Gary pays off my jeep and gives me an additional $500 of the community debt we incurred, plus I get to keep the software he was fighting so hard to get! He suggested that last part which really surprised me. The total amount comes to just about what he said he would pay me when we first separated so I guess it is acceptable. At least it is over with!
2 funny things did happen before went into the court room. After we settled the monetary amount Gary is to pay me he made some comment about "Well at least now she can write something nice about me on her webpage!" I surpressed a giggle and looked at the ground. Something nice? Ok- AT LEAST HE GOT HIS TEETH FIXED! Then a few minutes later, out of the blue, Gary piped in with "I hope you and your BOYFRIEND had a nice visit." I just smiled and did not respond.
I returned to work, relieved but still nauseous. I was fine after lunch. I am glad it is all over but until I have the decree in my hands, they are still making copies, I don't think it will sink in.

SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE

On Friday I received the surprise of the year from Gary! I had been waiting all week for the check Gary was supposed to have mailed to his lawyer who in turn was to foward it to my lawyer. Due to past experience, I was unsure if this would actually take place in the amount of time agreed upon. Was I ever surprised when I opened the envelope from my lawyer and found not only the divorce decree but the specified check AND a statement from the bank showing Gary had paid off the ENTIRE AMOUNT owed on the jeep! I was expecting him to take a few months to complete the payments. When I went to the bank on Saturday, one of the tellers who knows me told me Gary had been to pay off the jeep and had complained about how he was divorced now and was winding up making all these payments for his ex-wife. She said she smiled to herself knowing what I had been through with him and thinking he was getting off easy. I just thought it was a funny situation and I have to give credit where credit is due to Gary got making the payments as promptly as he did.
One last footnote and I think this section will be closed. Gary has a new roommate, a girl. They live less than 6 blocks from me! I am happy for him but, at the same time, I wonder if she knows what she is getting herself into? He had her write out the check to me. I found this to be amusing as well. I can just hear him saying something to the effect of "You write out the check. If you sign it she will see I can get another woman and it will piss her off!" I just smile knowing he is no longer my problem or my concern. I am happier than I have been in years and I am thankful I got myself out the mess I was in.

April 19, 1998Just when I thought Gary was completely out of our lives forever, something so hilarious happened that I feel I just have to share it. I found out about a month or so ago that Gary is getting married again. I had people calling me throughout the day the announcement came out in the paper. I am very happy for him. I am glad he has found happiness. What I cannot believe is...HE SENT AN INVITATION TO HIS WEDDING TO MY PARENTS!!!Actaully I don't know if he sent it or his fiancee sent it but whoever sent it should know we are ROFL. Does he really think after all the HELL he put my parents and I through that they would attend his wedding? What nerve!

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