All about ME

Well, here it is, everything you ever wanted to know about me.

I knew I really loved womyn when I was in junior high. I was in love with my best friend, Julie. I told her I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. She ran away and married a Fundemental Baptist, so goes the story of my first love.

I spent the next 20 years trying to conform to the mold that my family expected me to follow. Marriage,straight sex, picket fence, children...... parts of my life were kinda happy, but very lonely and I knew that I was living my life for others and not for my own happiness and goals. I really tried, but I just could'nt shake the feeling that it was all bogus, and that I was never meant to be with men. After two divorces I finally decided that life is too short to use it to please my relatives and society...so I am following my heart instead of convention. I am redefining myself and exploring my love and admiration of womyn.

Now some people have told me that it is impossible to be a lesbian without actually having sex with a womyn. But I think not. Can't I be a virgin lesbian??? Just because I have'nt had the priviledge of making love to a female yet...does that mean I can not claim my rightful place in the realm?? I know what I feel....I know what I know in my heart...

Some day I will find love and I know it will not be with a man. In the mean time I am having an affair with myself. I am discovering who I am, discovering just who is hiding under all the layers of guilt, shame, duty, and all the other baggage that comes with living a lie for so long.

Things I can do:

• hunt ( and gut and skin the game)
• fish (and fillet the fish)
• paint
• sew
• cook
• mother
• sing
• write HTML
• do CPR
• out arm wrestle many men
• look darn good in heels and make-up
• shoot archery (and guns)
• take a punch (and not flinch)
• sooth hurt children
• learn new things quickly
• ride horseback
• track game
• speak sign language
• and many other amazing and diverse things

Things I love and believe in...

God and all Her glory.....and angels

The virtue of children and their perspective of the world.

The love of pets, cats and dogs especially, but including all living creatures

The core honesty and acceptance of humans ( I think prejudice is learned...and therefore unnatural)

The instinct and intuition of womyn....Yes I feel it too..

The silliness of labels...I am not femme nor butch.....I am both...does that make me a bemme-futch??

My wife

< Here is an update on me and my story Sept. 7th, 1997

© 1997

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