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1. You can say "chick" without getting slapped.
2. You can talk about men's genitals and not worry about being sued for sexual harrassment.
3. You can always knock off a boss you don't like by suing him for sexual harassment. Then you get his job.
4. You aren't obliged to wear shorts when it's -30x outside.
5. Dawson's Creek.
6. You always know who is sleeping with who.
7. You never have to "shake it off" after you pee.
8. If you can't do it yourself, you can always sucker some macho jerk into doing it for you.
9. Old friends don't drink all your beer without asking first.
10. Dry cleaners and haircutters give you discounts if you smile and wink.
11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every channel that shows some sweaty brute with a ball/puck/stick/car/etc.
12. You'll get hired instead of the equally qualified male if you shake your ass right.
13. Multiple orgasms. 14. What kind of car you drive does not affect your usefulness to the opposite sex.
15. Handsome strangers can't save men because guys in hockey masks don't attack them.
16. You don't have to lug a bag of useless tools around everywhere you go.
17. If you have insomnia, you can just turn on a baseball game.
18. If you want to bitch about the slovenly men in your group, just announce you're going to the bathroom and all the women will come with you.
19. Your age stays put.
20. You can ease someone else's burden if you just pick up after yourself at restaurants and hotels.
21. When your work is being criticized, you don't have to panic that your penis is somehow too short.
22. You never have to kill your own food.
23. The whole house is all yours, except for the garage, but who wants that anyways?
24. You get extra credit for baring your chest.
25. You see the humor in baseball ("Hey! He just grabbed that other guy's ass!").
26. Nobody secretly wonders if you know how to perform oral sex.
27. You never have to talk to anyone when you're peeing.
28. You always look your best when you go somewhere.
29. Sex means never worrying about not getting it up.
30. You can always hire a wedding coordinator.
31. If you want to give one of your friends the boot, just "forget" to invite her somewhere.
32. Your underwear makes a great topic of discussion.
33. Men's Diving Championships
34. It's o.k. to cry in front of people.
35. You never have to walk around all day with nicks on your cheeks.
36. Your circulation never suffers when curling up with your significant other(s).
37. If your 34 and single the opposite sex gets hopeful.
38. You can make snow angels without being considered homosexual.
39. You get to bitch about stuff, and can always blame it on PMS whenever you've been out of line.
40. No one ever has to know if you get a zit.
41. Chocolate is a divine release.
42. You can be First Lady, and lead the president around by the nose.
43. You can fall asleep on the way back while he's fighting to keep his eyes open, because he refuses to let you drive.
44. You never have to buy flowers. If you want to apologize, all you have to do is undress.
45. You never have to worry about getting him off.
46. You don't have to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47. You can wear a bikini top to a water park.
48. You can wear your jeans twice and not have to worry that they're going to smell like "fromunda cheese".
49. You never have to go into a hardware store.
50. You can undress in front of your friends and not worry that they'll think you're gay.
51. Foreplay is not a chore.
52. Monica Lewinsky's sex appeal or lack thereof is never a topic of discussion between you and your friends.
53. No man will tell a bad joke when you're around.
54. You can wear short shorts on a hot day without people thinking you're gay.
55. No one thinks your apartment is a pigsty.
56. If you're jealous, you can stop a pal from getting laid.
57. You never need to go to a car mechanic; that's why you keep a man around.
58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new tires.
59. You never have to watch a game with your buddy when you'd rather be doing something else.
60. No one in the world will ever, ever see you pee.
61. You can always sucker a man into apologizing, buying you flowers, and taking you out to dinner, if you let him think you're convinced he's going to leave you.
62. You don't have to jump up and slap stuff to convince your friends of your verdant sexuality.
63. You never have to wear a condom.
64. You can read him like a book.
65. You can hate every actress prettier than you, and justify it by saying, "Do you know how many directors she slept with to get that part?"
66. You can make him get out and fill the tank up when you pull into a gas station.
67. You get to watch him make a fool of himself opening a beer bottle.
68. You can sit cross legged.
69. If you want a raise, all you have to do is wink at your boss.
70. Gray hair and wrinkles are only temporary for you.
71. No one has to watch you make an emergency crotch adjustment.
72. You have his credit card to pay for your $2000 wedding dress.
73. You get to make a fuss when someone is talking about you behind your back.
74. No one has to ever know whether you masturbate or not.
75. You always get some if your friend has a dessert you want.
76. You've got Midol.
77. If you want to force him to do something, just take the remote away and threaten not to give it back.
78. In case you dont know what you're takling about, and dont want him to notice, just stick your chest out and he won't hear a word of what bullshit you're spouting off.
79. American Movie Classics.
80. You always get a little gift whenever anyone comes to see you.
81. Men have no idea what we REALLY do during bridal showers.... and you can see a male stripper's genitals, and you can touch them without being sued, or considered uncouth.
82. You don't have to talk about cars to have a good relationship with your dad.
83. If the two of you don't have any condoms, you can just say, "Oh well. Maybe next time."
84. You can pretend you're "freshening up" when you have to go to the bathroom.
85. If you want to get rid of one of your friends, don't call her when you say you will.
86. You'll never be a dirty old man.
87. You never have to argue your case if you don't want to; you can always just cross your arms and glare.
88. If another girl shows up at the party in the same outfit, you can humiliate her.
89. You can pretend you didn't hate Princess Di by cooing over her death.
90. If you belch out loud, the opposite sex thinks you're cool.
91. You can have sex whenever you want to, and never when you don't.
92. You don't wince and the mention of John Wayne Bobbitt. You can even laugh about it.
93. If something mechanical doesn't work, you can make him fix it.
94. New jeans don't chafe your genitals.
95. All the good movies are designed with you in mind.
96. None of your friends forgets your birthday.
98. You can always trap your pals with: "So... notice anything different?"
99. Tom Cruise
100. It's ok to be bisexual.
101. When you want it, you don't have to worry about getting any.
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