10. This topic comes as a surprise to you.
9. Your wife has had a deadbolt installed on her nightgown.
8. You don't remember your shower radio having a 220-volt feeder.
7. Instead of a kiss, your girlfriend greets you with a hearty kick to the groin.
6. You've got a divot in your head from the new golf club your wife gave you.
5. You've got a red mark on your face that bears a striking resemblance to the shape of your girlfriend's hand.
4. You're so caught up in online porn that time, in general, has no meaning whatsoever.
3. You've got a high-heel sticking out of your rear end.
2. Cupid flips you the bird.
1. Your intern won't even TALK to you.